Coworker told me I looked "pale" and to stop losing weight...

peachvine29
peachvine29 Posts: 400 Member
edited May 2019 in Health and Weight Loss
I am currently 26F, 5'7.5'', and 138 lbs., small frame.

Highest weight: 200 lbs. (Jan. 2017)
Start weight: 190 lbs. (Feb. 2018)
Goal weight: 125-130 lbs.

I've lost all the weight through calorie counting at a rate of about 0.8 lbs. per week. I've done strength training and some cardio throughout.

Recently, I have begun to have low energy and moodiness, so I decided to take a 2 week diet break at maintenance or a little higher (1,750+).

I'm at the point where people are telling me that I don't need to lose any more weight. I know I do. They don't see me with my shirt off, and are just used to seeing me bigger. I have plenty of belly, back, chest, and thigh fat to lose.

Today, two coworkers (one who sits right next to me and then her boss) were talking about how I look "pale" and that I don't need to lose anymore weight. My coworker sees me eat all day, she knows I eat plenty. She's the one who hardly eats. They acted like they were genuinely concerned and it embarrassed me.

I don't want to be oblivious to the fact that I am too thin, but I really don't think I am. I know I look way better in clothes but still have 10 or so pounds to lose I feel (I'll know when I get there).

I am going to get a physical in a couple of weeks and will talk to my doctor about my ideal weight. I have been eating at or above 1,500 net calories for months now while working a sedentary office job, I think I'm good.

On another note, I know that some have suggested I may be in recomp territory. I think I definitely need to lose a bit more fat before I'm there. What do you guys think? Any what do you say to people to people who insist you stop losing fat when you don't feel finished?

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Replies

  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    Since the comments are happening at work, you can point out that they're inappropriate and depending on how you feel about it, inform them that you will go to HR to report the comments if they don't stop.

    Recomp wouldn't be a bad idea for you, honestly. Bringing up the low energy to the dr is a good idea. Did the 2 week diet break have any noticeable effect on the low energy?

    The OP was given that suggestion 6 days ago.


  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    edited May 2019
    OP I am concerned about anemia if your coworkers think you look pale. Can you get in to see the doctor any faster?

    ETA: I realize you posted a picture but I can only tell if someone is pale by seeing their face which you have wisely omitted.
  • peachvine29
    peachvine29 Posts: 400 Member
    edited May 2019
    NovusDies wrote: »
    OP I am concerned about anemia if your coworkers think you look pale. Can you get in to see the doctor any faster?

    ETA: I realize you posted a picture but I can only tell if someone is pale by seeing their face which you have wisely omitted.

    The anemia could be a concern since I also have the low energy... They said June 10 was the soonest appointment, I could check again... I am also trying to stay out of the sun and wear sunscreen every day for my skincare as I have some brown spots on my face. So yes I am way more pale than I usually am.

    Thank you for the advice.
  • bluesheeponahill
    bluesheeponahill Posts: 169 Member
    did you colour your hair recently? I have dark brown hair, but if I colour it blonde, I look pale. It's weird. Just ignore people. Could be the make up if you wear any, your skin could actually be improving and changing the tone of your skin on face, so you may need updated makeup. I hope your 2 week maintenance break goes well. It's always good to follow the advice of a doctor. and yes, ignore people, it's one thing to give concern, i.e, 'are you well? you are looking pale, do you need time off?' opposed to 'Are you eating? you look pale, eat more.' the latter is just offensive.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    NovusDies wrote: »
    NovusDies wrote: »
    Since the comments are happening at work, you can point out that they're inappropriate and depending on how you feel about it, inform them that you will go to HR to report the comments if they don't stop.

    Recomp wouldn't be a bad idea for you, honestly. Bringing up the low energy to the dr is a good idea. Did the 2 week diet break have any noticeable effect on the low energy?

    The OP was given that suggestion 6 days ago.


    Since I have increased my calories I am already feeling better. The first couple of days I ate crap and a lot of fast food and way over calories (didn't log it all) but now I am eating nutritious foods. I will stay on the diet break until the two weeks is up. I know I should still talk to my doctor too.

    I think that is a good way to start a diet break, tbh. It is as much a mental break as it is a physical break and being in a big surplus of calories certainly kicks it off. Nothing wrong with some fun food (I don't call food crap).

    Yeah you're right... fun food. :) I am glad I started off that way because it was very satisfying and I was feeling very happy and energized after. The mental break so far is nice.

    Good job. I was concerned because some people can't "unclinch" enough to embrace a diet break. I like to get in some fun food but like you I get tired of eating out of character for myself after a few days and want to eat more normally just more of it.
  • MikePTY
    MikePTY Posts: 3,814 Member
    I think you are doing the right things, by taking a diet break and seeing your doctor. I would be hesitant for you to try to resume losing much weight until you get in to see the doctor to get his/her go ahead.

    I don't think you "need" to lose any more weight and a recomp could be a good option for you. Remember, you still lose fat in a recomp, albeit slowly, so feeling like you need to lose a bit more fat and doing a recomp are not incompatible with each other. But if you wanted to lose a few more pounds first it seems like you could safely do that (pend the doctors thoughts), although 130 would probably be the most I would target. 125 is a bit aggressive.

    One other thing is have you gotten a high quality body fat analysis? A dexa scan would probably be the best one for your body type. That might give you some more insight into how much body fat you actually have left to potentially lose.
  • ahoy_m8
    ahoy_m8 Posts: 3,053 Member
    It sounds like you’re doing everything right. 125 lb is still safely in the normal BMI range if you decide to keep going after reaching 130. After checking with your doctor, consider slowing your rate of loss for the last few pounds. A smaller deficit eases the transition to maintenance and helps some people with hunger as BF% decreases.

    It’s a drag about co-worker comments. If they say things that make you uncomfortable, just tell them the truth... “when you comment on my body and appearance, I feel really uncomfortable.” If they’re well meaning they’ll back off.
  • rheddmobile
    rheddmobile Posts: 6,840 Member
    Sounds like you’re doing the right thing, getting your iron levels checked and taking a diet break.

    Since you asked for opinions, as far as further weight loss is concerned, while you are at a fine weight already, in my opinion you wouldn’t look too thin if you wanted to keep going for a few pounds. I think recomp sounds like a great option. It’s slower but you end up at a higher weight but a lower bf, which is good long term in that higher weight means a few more daily calories and is easier to maintain long term. Plus you would be stronger!
  • peachvine29
    peachvine29 Posts: 400 Member
    lorrpb wrote: »
    You are in a totally healthy range for your height. I’m 5-7 too and I think that our range bottoms out at 130. If taking a maintenance break gives you more energy, it means you were probably eating too little. If you go back on a deficit, do no more than 250 per day or 0.5 lb per week. I think strength training would help you a lot as suggested above.

    Thank you.

    About 2-3 months ago I did set my goal to losing 0.5 lbs. per week at sedentary, and have been eating back my exercise calories, which I have trouble estimating but am probably underestimating.

    I have been eating at 1,500 and then whatever exercise calories (before the diet break, I am now doing 1,750 or more, loosely). I've used calculations that estimate my TDEE anywhere from 1650-1750 or so. I do have a desk job but I get up frequently, at least every hour, walk on my 10 minute breaks and workout at lunch 3x per week doing a total body conditioning class for 45 minutes which I do at my highest intensity mostly (I estimate 150 cals burned, could be more though). I have been losing about 0.8 lbs. a week I think, but don't always stick to calories (usually at or over).

    I also don't watch TV or sit down much at home, I am either cleaning or cooking or taking care of pets and on the weekend stay active shopping and such.

    Maybe I should eat a little more than sedentary puts me at.

    I have strength trained for years, maybe not very effectively though. I feel like you can't tell looking at me, maybe because I have been in a deficit and unable to really build muscle even though I really try. Since over a year ago I think I have been doing 4 days a week rotating an upper and lower body split. My weights have increased or stayed the same, not gone down. A few weeks ago my work started offering group fitness classes so I have been doing them 3x a week, They are cardio and weight training based.

    Sorry if this is TMI lol
  • alondrakar
    alondrakar Posts: 67 Member
    We are the same height and same age. I am about 141-142 lbs and still feel I have about 7-8 pounds to lose.. and depending on how I look I may have even more. I have plenty of people tell me I look fine as I am but I also know that when I see myself naked, there is no way I couldn't stand to lose a bit more fat all around. As long as you are healthy and your goals are realistic, do what you need to do! It's great you are also consulting with your doctor about your health instead of relying solely on your own goals or the comments made by friends/coworkers. Good job.
  • peachvine29
    peachvine29 Posts: 400 Member
    alondrakar wrote: »
    We are the same height and same age. I am about 141-142 lbs and still feel I have about 7-8 pounds to lose.. and depending on how I look I may have even more. I have plenty of people tell me I look fine as I am but I also know that when I see myself naked, there is no way I couldn't stand to lose a bit more fat all around. As long as you are healthy and your goals are realistic, do what you need to do! It's great you are also consulting with your doctor about your health instead of relying solely on your own goals or the comments made by friends/coworkers. Good job.

    Exactly how I feel! I know clothed I look so much better, great even, but yeah naked is another story lol and I obviously have some fat to lose. Lol
  • peachvine29
    peachvine29 Posts: 400 Member
    Besides checking your ferritin, ask your doctor to check your vitamin D. If you are avoiding the sun and wearing sunscreen, you may be deficient and that will affect your energy levels as well.

    Good idea! I will ask about that as well, very well could be
  • peachvine29
    peachvine29 Posts: 400 Member
    Sometimes it can come from a place of concern, but I think often its because they feel intimidated or threatened because they realize that now you're competition when it comes to looks.

    Very true. These coworkers were in their 50's and 60's I believe, so I do think they were just genuinely concerned. The one whom was most concerned is pretty overweight and I think just doesn't get that I know how to lose weight, she talks about special diets and such, but I'm approaching it healthily. They're used to seeing me very overweight