How do people gain weight back?
Replies
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As someone who has lost 140lb and maintained that loss for 20months, I can tell you the losing weight was the easy bit, maintaining is so much harder. You don't have the numbers going down to motivate you and it's easy to slip in to old ways.
I work hard at maintaining without going too crazy about restricting what I eat. Basically I am extremely active, and keep an eye on my weight. I have bulk cycles of a couple months where I put on 5-10lb, and then have a few weeks where I take control, log my food (just logging is usually enough) and a few times a year I do an intensive week with my PT where she ups the pressure on me in our sessions and creates a tailored meal plan3 -
For me I found this site after gaining around 30lb back. I had initially lost just over 80lb and maintained for 3yr before gaining any back. It happens.
My life changed dramatically in a year. I switched jobs becoming less active and moved in with my now husband who is a chef so I was eating more with him and enjoying his cooking. The two changes combined lead to a pretty fast gain. I was so focused on adapting to my changing life that I didn’t notice my changing body at first. I wear black leggings as pants most days so I didn’t feel clothes getting tighter.
Then one day I had a big work meeting and had to dress differently...none of my meeting clothes fit. I stepped on the scale and was shocked! I thought I had gained 10, maybe 15lb but it was actually much more.
Now I’m in maintenance again. I lost the weight slower this time ( this loss took longer than losing 80lb my first time). I’ve built the majority of my social life around fitness activities to keep active outside of work and I continue logging. I’m hoping to have learned from my past so that I don’t have to start over ever again.4 -
Weight is simply an output of behavior. When weight becomes your priority most manage this well. The issue is one of conflicting priorities and time management. Once weight become managed, then our brains focus on the next pressing priority. Habits are changed and the mindfulness of calorie counting falls by the way side.
I would imagine those who believe that they will neve gain weight again, will almost certainly return to their previous weight. Humans must be aware of their capacity for harm before they can realize their capacity to do good.
Maintenance is much less of a defined goal and you have to establish a higher goal beyond weight to keep this up.
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Speaking from my own experience it's the slowness of weight gain. I'd go as far as to describe it as insidiously slow.
It's the fable of boiling the frog. Which I'm sure everyone is familiar with but just in case.
The story goes that if you throw a frog into a boiling pot of water it will jump immediately out, however if you put the frog in a cool pan and ever so slowly turn up the heat the frog will not notice the increasing temperature and will sit there and be boiled to death. (It's not true BTW, that frog will absolutely jump out once the water starts getting hot no matter how gradual)
Weight gain, for me at least, was like that. I just didn't notice as I looked and felt, more or less the same today as I did yesterday and I'd feel pretty much the same tomorrow.
Sure there might be signposts or indicators that the weight was piling on slowly but even these usually happen in stages that mean things go unnoticed.
For example. I was a size 36 because all the pants in my wardrobe were 36 (because that's my size) but some were 38 (because stupid sizing between stores is inconsistent). But I'm a size 36! The next time I go shopping for pants I end up having to get a size 38, not because I've gained weight, oh no it's because sizing is stupid. Then the next time I buy pants, I'm reaching for the 38 because that's the size all my pants are, except some are 40 because clothe sizing is stupid. Months/years pass and I'm walking into stores to buy a size 40 pants... and so on...
It's slow, clothes get tight before you jump sizes, belt notches overlap between sizes. All the slowness and all the overlapping confuses the issue. Seeing more or less the same person in the mirror each day confuses the issue.14 -
Im confused why so many people once they get to goal weight, somehow gain the weight back?
I am close to goal weight now so I'll occasionally slip gain a couple pounds but start again.
Im just confused at people who drop several sizes, just let themselves gain it back "without noticing".
For me if I were to go back to old habbits, once Id notice I am up say 10 pounds (really 5 but that could just be a chinese buffet meal the day after) I'd make a plan to get back on track ASAP.. but i see threads about people who lose 50 plus lbs but return with all that weight and then some back.
Im terrified to have that happen to me so I'd love insight into why we think those types of people struggle or let it happen. Thanks
Easy answer is look at bodybuilding and ask why aren't they all in competition ready state at all times during the year.
What you view as "without noticing" is on purpose for some of us who are bodybuilding
and your opinion of my "without noticing" is not relevant to me whats so ever and I could give a *kitten* what you think of my body or my process as I love me, and my wife loves me. Focus on you and what you're doing and not what others are doing and you might be more successful and more happy in your own life. 6 -
bulking lol3
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sarahlifts wrote: »bulking lol
^^same. I gained my weight back on purpose after reaching goal, going for the sixth time now.2 -
Im confused why so many people once they get to goal weight, somehow gain the weight back?
I am close to goal weight now so I'll occasionally slip gain a couple pounds but start again.
Im just confused at people who drop several sizes, just let themselves gain it back "without noticing".
For me if I were to go back to old habbits, once Id notice I am up say 10 pounds (really 5 but that could just be a chinese buffet meal the day after) I'd make a plan to get back on track ASAP.. but i see threads about people who lose 50 plus lbs but return with all that weight and then some back.
Im terrified to have that happen to me so I'd love insight into why we think those types of people struggle or let it happen. Thanks
I had been at a good weight for several years. Although I didn't exercise, my job was very active. And I ate two reasonably meals each day. I kept my energy balance fairly easy.
Then I had a head-on collision. I couldn't work the way I had and didn't change my diet. Within 6 months I had gained 10 pounds. Totally noticed it, started eating better and joined a gym.
One month later my 17 year old son was hit by a van going about 45 mph. He had a traumatic brain injury, was in a coma, and since he was eating at the time he inhaled part of a burger which gave him a lot of lung problems. It was about 6 weeks before we knew he would live. It was many, many months before we knew how his brain would function and if he could live a normal life.
During this time my only enjoyment was eating. Yeah I knew I was gaining weight. I honestly didn't care. 10 years later, I'm still working on getting rid of this weight
Sometimes how much we weigh isn't the most important thing we are dealing with, or even close.25 -
This has unfortunately happened to me. My highest weight was about 235 lbs, and in about 3-4 months I knocked it down to 189. Over the course of the next 2-3 years, my old habits slipped back up and thinking "Well I like the way I look now, this won't hurt" all the time didn't help. Now I'm at 226, slowly making my way back.
Once you've become your own champion you've got to defend your title. Maintenance is just as important as the loss if you're trying to keep yourself in check.6 -
@lalalacroix - I'm so sorry to hear about your son! And yes, you're absolutely right. I tell my students that I've come to the conclusion that what we call "laziness" just means that someone has prioritized things in an order that we don't agree with.7
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this is a great thread, I have been gaining and losing since I was 16 years old and I am now 65. I think my problem is laziness, also denial. I get my weight down and quit weighing so I am weighing daily now. Also this year I did some journaling for first time realizing I go to food for comfort and what else I can do to comfort myself like calling friends, writing about it. I also am lazy, I did not want to do the hard work, you have to be cautious all the time and not just do what you jolly well want to do.6
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Tedebearduff wrote: »Im confused why so many people once they get to goal weight, somehow gain the weight back?
I am close to goal weight now so I'll occasionally slip gain a couple pounds but start again.
Im just confused at people who drop several sizes, just let themselves gain it back "without noticing".
For me if I were to go back to old habbits, once Id notice I am up say 10 pounds (really 5 but that could just be a chinese buffet meal the day after) I'd make a plan to get back on track ASAP.. but i see threads about people who lose 50 plus lbs but return with all that weight and then some back.
Im terrified to have that happen to me so I'd love insight into why we think those types of people struggle or let it happen. Thanks
Easy answer is look at bodybuilding and ask why aren't they all in competition ready state at all times during the year.
What you view as "without noticing" is on purpose for some of us who are bodybuilding and your opinion of my "without noticing" is not relevant to me whats so ever and I could give a *kitten* what you think of my body or my process as I love me, and my wife loves me. Focus on you and what you're doing and not what others are doing and you might be more successful and more happy in your own life.
I'm not sure this post was about you...
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lalalacroix wrote: »Im confused why so many people once they get to goal weight, somehow gain the weight back?
I am close to goal weight now so I'll occasionally slip gain a couple pounds but start again.
Im just confused at people who drop several sizes, just let themselves gain it back "without noticing".
For me if I were to go back to old habbits, once Id notice I am up say 10 pounds (really 5 but that could just be a chinese buffet meal the day after) I'd make a plan to get back on track ASAP.. but i see threads about people who lose 50 plus lbs but return with all that weight and then some back.
Im terrified to have that happen to me so I'd love insight into why we think those types of people struggle or let it happen. Thanks
I had been at a good weight for several years. Although I didn't exercise, my job was very active. And I ate two reasonably meals each day. I kept my energy balance fairly easy.
Then I had a head-on collision. I couldn't work the way I had and didn't change my diet. Within 6 months I had gained 10 pounds. Totally noticed it, started eating better and joined a gym.
One month later my 17 year old son was hit by a van going about 45 mph. He had a traumatic brain injury, was in a coma, and since he was eating at the time he inhaled part of a burger which gave him a lot of lung problems. It was about 6 weeks before we knew he would live. It was many, many months before we knew how his brain would function and if he could live a normal life.
During this time my only enjoyment was eating. Yeah I knew I was gaining weight. I honestly didn't care. 10 years later, I'm still working on getting rid of this weight
Sometimes how much we weigh isn't the most important thing we are dealing with, or even close.
Very sorry to hear about your son.
My husband had a workplace accident in March 2018 which resulted in a severe traumatic brain injury. He was in a coma 3 weeks and PTA for another month. And still recovering.
I ate a lot of grilled cheese sandwiches and chocolate covered almonds in the first several months ... and put weight back on.
And I didn't care. You're right sometimes other things are way more important than a few kg.
Even now it is really challenging to lose it.17 -
lalalacroix wrote: »Im confused why so many people once they get to goal weight, somehow gain the weight back?
I am close to goal weight now so I'll occasionally slip gain a couple pounds but start again.
Im just confused at people who drop several sizes, just let themselves gain it back "without noticing".
For me if I were to go back to old habbits, once Id notice I am up say 10 pounds (really 5 but that could just be a chinese buffet meal the day after) I'd make a plan to get back on track ASAP.. but i see threads about people who lose 50 plus lbs but return with all that weight and then some back.
Im terrified to have that happen to me so I'd love insight into why we think those types of people struggle or let it happen. Thanks
I had been at a good weight for several years. Although I didn't exercise, my job was very active. And I ate two reasonably meals each day. I kept my energy balance fairly easy.
Then I had a head-on collision. I couldn't work the way I had and didn't change my diet. Within 6 months I had gained 10 pounds. Totally noticed it, started eating better and joined a gym.
One month later my 17 year old son was hit by a van going about 45 mph. He had a traumatic brain injury, was in a coma, and since he was eating at the time he inhaled part of a burger which gave him a lot of lung problems. It was about 6 weeks before we knew he would live. It was many, many months before we knew how his brain would function and if he could live a normal life.
During this time my only enjoyment was eating. Yeah I knew I was gaining weight. I honestly didn't care. 10 years later, I'm still working on getting rid of this weight
Sometimes how much we weigh isn't the most important thing we are dealing with, or even close.
Very sorry to hear about your son.
My husband had a workplace accident in March 2018 which resulted in a severe traumatic brain injury. He was in a coma 3 weeks and PTA for another month. And still recovering.
I ate a lot of grilled cheese sandwiches and chocolate covered almonds in the first several months ... and put weight back on.
And I didn't care. You're right sometimes other things are way more important than a few kg.
Even now it is really challenging to lose it.
Thank you. My son just turned 26 a couple weeks ago. Although I wouldn't say that the accident hasn't changed him, his recovery has been tremendous.
I hope for the best for your husband and send you all my strength. When my son was healing we were told that he would heal for a year and that there wouldn't be improvement after a year. I don't know if that's something you've heard but in our case it was wrong. My son had physical and mental improvements probably for three years.
I 💜 chocolate covered almonds. I would say that I really enjoyed making rich sauces for everything during that time. My son also lost so much weight in his coma it took months to get him back to a healthy weight. I always chuckle when people comment on how much food a person needs to sustain their weight in a coma. My son had a g-tube and was getting 5,000 calories each day and still lost over 30 pounds during his 4 week coma.
Sorry for derailing MFP.8 -
I have one clothes size in my closet and when my clothes get snug or I get 5-10 pounds over my usual weight, I cut back a bit and get it back down. I probably have to do this 2-3 times every single year. This is how I've maintained basically the same weight within 10 pounds for most of my adult life.
However, I've never been obese or overweight. I gained 50 lbs with pregnancies but got back down to pre-baby weight with calorie counting and exercise. I never maintained habits in my life that got me to a heavier weight. People that maintained habits that helped them end up overweight at some point in their life will have a harder time maintaining because those habits are still lurking in the background. People can create new, healthier habits, but old habits are hard to break.
One book I read about habits described them as a groove or pathway that is created in your brain. The more you practice a habit, the deeper the groove and the harder it is the change course. People that go on a diet or change their lifestyle are creating new pathways, but they may not be as deep and strong as habits that were built over decades. Old habits atrophy over time and new habits get stronger, but it takes a lot of time and effort for the new habits to take over for good. And in times of stress, the old habits are comforting and the old habits probably led to weight gain in the first place. So when people become less focused on changing the habits (either because of life events or loss of motivation or a million other reasons), it is much easier and takes less effort to revert back to habits engrained for years.
That said, I have slowly changed my habits over my life. I grew up in a household eating nothing but junk food, but was active enough in sports to not gain weight. As an adult I learned new ways to prepare food and now love fresh, healthy food. It was something that evolved over decades, and I'm still learning.6 -
Because for me maintaining my weight takes mental effort and when there are other things in life that take priority, I don't care so much about what my weight is, so I stop weighing myself and I indulge in whatever foods I want, etc. yes I notice that I'm getting bigger and I'm having to wear bigger clothing sizes but it still takes me a while to care enough to do something about it. I lost weight for the first time (intentionally) back in 2012. Excluding pregnancy weight, I've gained and lost 10-15 lbs or so several times over.2
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I have one clothes size in my closet and when my clothes get snug or I get 5-10 pounds over my usual weight, I cut back a bit and get it back down. I probably have to do this 2-3 times every single year. This is how I've maintained basically the same weight within 10 pounds for most of my adult life.
However, I've never been obese or overweight. I gained 50 lbs with pregnancies but got back down to pre-baby weight with calorie counting and exercise. I never maintained habits in my life that got me to a heavier weight. People that maintained habits that helped them end up overweight at some point in their life will have a harder time maintaining because those habits are still lurking in the background. People can create new, healthier habits, but old habits are hard to break.
One book I read about habits described them as a groove or pathway that is created in your brain. The more you practice a habit, the deeper the groove and the harder it is the change course. People that go on a diet or change their lifestyle are creating new pathways, but they may not be as deep and strong as habits that were built over decades. Old habits atrophy over time and new habits get stronger, but it takes a lot of time and effort for the new habits to take over for good. And in times of stress, the old habits are comforting and the old habits probably led to weight gain in the first place. So when people become less focused on changing the habits (either because of life events or loss of motivation or a million other reasons), it is much easier and takes less effort to revert back to habits engrained for years.
That said, I have slowly changed my habits over my life. I grew up in a household eating nothing but junk food, but was active enough in sports to not gain weight. As an adult I learned new ways to prepare food and now love fresh, healthy food. It was something that evolved over decades, and I'm still learning.
This is absolutely true. You cannot simply end a habit, but must replace this with another. Success largely lies in how you establish a feedback loop supporting this new habit - circle of friends, new activities, new goals, new purpose, etc.
There's a principle originating within business - Kaizen - one of continual improvement, but operating via constant implementation of small changes which have a dramatic impact over time.1 -
No one who works hard and loses weight wants to gain it back. Life happens.5
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lalalacroix wrote: »lalalacroix wrote: »Im confused why so many people once they get to goal weight, somehow gain the weight back?
I am close to goal weight now so I'll occasionally slip gain a couple pounds but start again.
Im just confused at people who drop several sizes, just let themselves gain it back "without noticing".
For me if I were to go back to old habbits, once Id notice I am up say 10 pounds (really 5 but that could just be a chinese buffet meal the day after) I'd make a plan to get back on track ASAP.. but i see threads about people who lose 50 plus lbs but return with all that weight and then some back.
Im terrified to have that happen to me so I'd love insight into why we think those types of people struggle or let it happen. Thanks
I had been at a good weight for several years. Although I didn't exercise, my job was very active. And I ate two reasonably meals each day. I kept my energy balance fairly easy.
Then I had a head-on collision. I couldn't work the way I had and didn't change my diet. Within 6 months I had gained 10 pounds. Totally noticed it, started eating better and joined a gym.
One month later my 17 year old son was hit by a van going about 45 mph. He had a traumatic brain injury, was in a coma, and since he was eating at the time he inhaled part of a burger which gave him a lot of lung problems. It was about 6 weeks before we knew he would live. It was many, many months before we knew how his brain would function and if he could live a normal life.
During this time my only enjoyment was eating. Yeah I knew I was gaining weight. I honestly didn't care. 10 years later, I'm still working on getting rid of this weight
Sometimes how much we weigh isn't the most important thing we are dealing with, or even close.
Very sorry to hear about your son.
My husband had a workplace accident in March 2018 which resulted in a severe traumatic brain injury. He was in a coma 3 weeks and PTA for another month. And still recovering.
I ate a lot of grilled cheese sandwiches and chocolate covered almonds in the first several months ... and put weight back on.
And I didn't care. You're right sometimes other things are way more important than a few kg.
Even now it is really challenging to lose it.
Thank you. My son just turned 26 a couple weeks ago. Although I wouldn't say that the accident hasn't changed him, his recovery has been tremendous.
I hope for the best for your husband and send you all my strength. When my son was healing we were told that he would heal for a year and that there wouldn't be improvement after a year. I don't know if that's something you've heard but in our case it was wrong. My son had physical and mental improvements probably for three years.
I 💜 chocolate covered almonds. I would say that I really enjoyed making rich sauces for everything during that time. My son also lost so much weight in his coma it took months to get him back to a healthy weight. I always chuckle when people comment on how much food a person needs to sustain their weight in a coma. My son had a g-tube and was getting 5,000 calories each day and still lost over 30 pounds during his 4 week coma.
Sorry for derailing MFP.
Ours are examples (although perhaps a bit extreme) of "life happens". It's really hard to predict what's going to happen next year or 5 years from now or 10 years from now ....
I was initially told that my husband's progress would stop at 6 months ... then it was 1 year ... then it was 2 years ... then it was indefinitely. We're at just over 1 year now and he's still making progress although it has slowed a bit.
I'm glad to hear that your son's recovery has been tremendous ... the medical professionals have, so far, said my husband's recovery is "remarkable". Still some issues, but not as bad as predicted.
And he lost a lot of weight in hospital too. It took him nearly a year to get it back. He's lost his sense of taste and smell so food isn't so appealing anymore.
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Can't decide if its r/fatlogic or not6
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From the experts I have talked to its really a return to old habits and dietary adherence lapse. What the media tells you is that if you cant keep every single pound you lost off, you are a failure. I now have the idea, that some of us overshoot our weight loss. For example. Say someone loses 100lbs. Then regains 20 because that higher weight is easier to maintain. Did they lose because they regained 20 or are they winning because they are maintaining 80? The stats would say that they wer2 a failure because they regained some weight. I think they are winning.11
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Kids1
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I’ve lost then regained 20-40 lbs, 5 times now. 4 of those regains were partially pregnancy, but I’d be lying if I said all of it was...
The last time was because life happened. I had a crazy, stressful, hard year. My husband deployed, when he got back we immediately moved states, and then we were sued (by an entitled opportunistic a-hole)!!!
I tried to use an SSRI to help me cope with the increased stress which was making my anxiety unmanageable and while it certainly eliminated my anxiety, it also blocked my motivation drive. I knew I was gaining all the weight back, but I couldn’t make myself do anything about it. I think I was having a bad reaction to the meds, but because there was so much else going on, I didn’t realize it until I was the heaviest I’ve ever been when not pregnant. I finally stopped taking those meds and dropped 10lbs in the first month without much effort. Usually the first month for me is HARD.
The weight is coming off so much faster than in the past, and I don’t know if it’s that I still managed to work out while gaining it all back, so I had a better fitness baseline to work with, or if there is another underlying reason. The last time weightloss has been this easy for me, I was 10 years younger.2 -
Sometimes how much we weigh isn't the most important thing we are dealing with, or even close.[/quote]
This is so true! I regained during a relapse into depression due to extremely painful events which took most of the joy from life. Eating helped numb the pain, and while I really needed to find a better way to cope with pain, I at least was able to function, which I’ve not been able to in the past. The most important duty in my life right now, is being able to function and take adequate care of my children and husband. I’ve since learned how to handle the pain better and now the eating, but my weight was really unimportant for a while compared to not being crushed by almost unendurable pain.2
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