Self Control Issues
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I totally relate to your post! I do something similar where I'll punish myself if I eat a little bite or two of something "bad" instead of letting myself get away with a little bit of it, and then I'll sometimes go too far and binge out on a lot of unhealthy options, which makes it nearly impossible to find the motivation to work out afterward. I find that doing very healthy things BEFORE I have those temptations makes it easier to stay good. Would you be able to track "triggers" or patterns in your urges? Is it always at a certain time of day, or in response to something else? We are complicated machines, but machines nonetheless. Sometimes we just need to find out where the bug is so that we can reset something. I hope this helps!4
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I have struggled with this for the past couple of years myself. I find that it is at its worst when I am 1.) not eating enough during the day, and 2.) I am bored. I am learning to discipline myself to eat more during the day and to find something else to do when I have the urge to eat just because I am bored.4
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I never knew any family members to add cream either. Wasn’t even offered at tea time. When my Mum was alive I used to make her mint tea biscuits with freash mint of course she loved them. Lol wasn’t the norm but I found the recipe thought she’d love them boy did she a whole tin would last a week. I used to get the sugar cubes but can’t find them anymore in the Texas,USA stores so having to use regular sugar .I felt the cubes were better. They don’t make anything I liked anymore or don’t carry it got to order everything on line these days! Cold milk never could have lactose intolerant so have to limit. I would just smell everyone else’s food lol.0
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psychod787 wrote: »@Kalex1975 .... your honesty is moving bro. N=1 here, I have noted with my "experiment" I have been doing. I no longer crave the "bad" foods. I now crave fruit, vegetables, eggs... ect. Slowly not getting as many hunger issues. I mean that could be the "bulking" talking. I guess you dont get frenzy or the low level of hunger CONSTANTLY. Though they have improved. Frenzy is not nearly as bad and the low level is not quite as high. You give me hope brother.
Thanks @psychod787 - sounds like you are finding your way. I never realized how difficult it would be once I got to maintenance!4 -
JRsLateInLifeMom wrote: »I never knew any family members to add cream either. Wasn’t even offered at tea time. When my Mum was alive I used to make her mint tea biscuits with freash mint of course she loved them. Lol wasn’t the norm but I found the recipe thought she’d love them boy did she a whole tin would last a week. I used to get the sugar cubes but can’t find them anymore in the Texas,USA stores so having to use regular sugar .I felt the cubes were better. They don’t make anything I liked anymore or don’t carry it got to order everything on line these days! Cold milk never could have lactose intolerant so have to limit. I would just smell everyone else’s food lol.
You could try letting your grocer know that you'd like it if they carried sugar cubes. Or you could order them online. (The ubiquitous Amazon and Walmart.com both carry sugar cubes.)2 -
I had/have some of the same feelings (the "already blew it" effect), but at a fairly mild level.
For me, thinking through some of the analogies helped. If I left the house to go to work, and found my car had a flat tire, would I drive a nail in each of the other 3 tires? If I were 350 miles from home, took a wrong turn en route to my vacation destination, and ended up a few blocks off course, would I give up, turn around, and drive home?
So, if I ate more than I wish I had, during one meal out of the thousands (I hope) to come in the rest of my life, I'm going to decide everything is ruined, then decide to further sabotage my longer term goal?
Truly, it's what our "most of the time" habits are, that determines weight management, not "what we did that one (rare) time".
Like others, it also helped me to log the over-goal eating as soon as possible, so I could think about whether it was worth it (sometimes it was), and if it wasn't, so I could figure out some of the reasons and plan what I'd do in similar circumstances next time. Then let it go. Guilt and worry don't burn extra calories, and they feel bad. Reflect, revise your plans if necessary, then go on with life. Be kind to yourself. Food is not evil, and eating a bit extra is not sin. It requires no expiation. It's just food.
Also, I agree that a wholesale replacement of (so-called) "bad" eating with "healthy" eating is likelier to fail for some of us. I do better with a "gradual remodeling" approach to changing these habits, where I log my eating, look at the results, and gradually tweak things in manageable, small, permanently-sustainable, enjoyable steps toward eating in a way that better supports my health and energy level. Humans are very adaptable omnivores. We don't need to fix everything all at once.
If you have more profound or ingrained issues around food, then a bit of interaction with a professional (counselor, dietician, whatever helps) may be a good plan. If we need help with an exercise routine, we go to a personal trainer or physical therapist for help, right? Working on the psychological side is no different; there's no need to feel stigma.
Best wishes!13 -
Hubby thinks something wrong with me because I’m limiting my tea ..just found 2 jugs of sweet tea on the counter with a receipt lol. I’m definitely tempted to buy the sugar cubes now at Walmart.com since I have to order so much online anyways. No wonder we gain weight in this house. I love Earl Grey,Orange Peko,and Lipton can have it served so many ways. I tried green tea from Lipton started gaining weight found out it was the sugar substitute from someone here2
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JRsLateInLifeMom wrote: »Hubby thinks something wrong with me because I’m limiting my tea ..just found 2 jugs of sweet tea on the counter with a receipt lol. I’m definitely tempted to buy the sugar cubes now at Walmart.com since I have to order so much online anyways. No wonder we gain weight in this house. I love Earl Grey,Orange Peko,and Lipton can have it served so many ways. I tried green tea from Lipton started gaining weight found out it was the sugar substitute from someone here
Your southern? Sweet tea can be the devil for me as well... lol1 -
My mother was from a British family that moved to the USA lived up North Yankees.
Dads Native American,German,Irish,Asian, Mexican,etc that came here.Jewish so to flee Hitler by joining ones who were already here decades before he’s West Texas born. Family I grew up around were 1st generations to speak English language from Filipino Great Aunts to Cuban Uncle. Lol my diet,language,y life is mixed race fun. Having tea time y brunches then quesadillas for dinner lol. I’m old so every word I use sends young folks to google what I mean lol. Cold Sweet tea to hot earl grey with sugars and chocolate are a craving issue. I don’t have a spot of tea if I’m not careful it’s more like a pitcher meant for guests. I’m starting to understand why my grandma had Lemon slices or cucumber in her water next to her hot tea.1 -
I dont know anyone (and have never known anyone) who drinks what we call fruit tea, herbal teas, lemon tea, green tea etc etc on a regular basis. They tend to be things we have hanging round the back of the cupboard when we thought we'd get some fancy tea. We dont really do cold tea either.
A cup of tea is quite simply black tea with milk. Sugar optional.
(now a load of my fellow countrymen will come along telling of their love for cold/herbal tea)!!!1 -
Wanted to add.... sugar substitutes dont cause you to gain weight. In SOME people they may drive hedonistic eating elsewhere.4
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JRsLateInLifeMom wrote: »MFP says 1200 which is tuff for me so I go over 1200-1400 but mainly average is 1300
Think I told it a pound hard to remember not sure where to look.
Based on your activity level I suspect you told it a faster rate of loss. I would be willing to bet that 1500 is closer to 1 pound a week for you.
Go to your goals tab and then click on the link for "Guided Setup"
Someone correct me if this is not correct for the app which I seldom use. I use the browser interface.1 -
psychod787 wrote: »Wanted to add.... sugar substitutes dont cause you to gain weight. In SOME people they may drive hedonistic eating elsewhere.
Thats an interesting point. I dont eat anything with sweetner in it (I dont have a particularly sweet tooth) because my perception is that I would taste the sweet but not get the calories and that I would then not feel satisfied.
This is in my own head no doubt although I thought I read a reference to studies which also showed this, but I dont know how accurate that is.
So if I do have something sweet, its with real sugar or whatever it has it in, not artificial sweetners.
I have one coffee every couple of days, Im not a massive coffee drinker but I do have 4 sugars in it!3 -
Black tea sounds Devine haven’t seen it in ages. Cold herbal tea got a recipe or two for it with my grandma recipes. They were farmers there y here too. I bet my setting is wrong cause so far feels like I can’t reach my goal calories easily at all. I’ll try your changing the guided setup too.
Don what’s yours set at might be the same issue especially since men need more calories.0 -
I have noticed a slow mental change for the better over time for myself. Bread and it's brothers and sisters are my trigger food. One loaf, no problem - better are two loaves. Nowadays I ask myself: "will this item be freely available tomorrow, next week, next months?" It usually is and more often than not I stop worrying about it, I stop having to buy it here and now, I stop thinking that I have to eat it now. I also make sure that I always have "safe" food at home which I really, really enjoy. Mixed salads, low fat cottage cheese, smoked salmon or grilled chicken or a boiled egg with ever changing home - made salad dressings. I have also noticed that I am not always "hungry" but that I am actually "thirsty", especially when it is in between meal times. So I make myself a cuppa tea and have that first. Usually that's all I need for the moment.5
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Oh thats a bit similar to my emergency kitkat. Its in one of my handbags and sometimes I forget Ive got it and then just remember it, like now. I could eat it, its there, but I dont need to because its there waiting for me when I need it.
Mind you, its only because its sort of chocolate and biscuit I havent got mental for it. If it was a pizza it wouldnt have touched the sides. (not that many people have emergency pizzas in their handbags)6 -
Think we all need to figure out our trigger foods to work on which is so hard.My issue like many also is seeing coworkers to our kids eating those yummies in front of us that we crave so bad. I find I can be full see a slice of pizza or cake or walk by the supermarket deli smelling samples oohhhh goodness so hard. Driving by fast food places don’t help either. My sons Pediactrics is next door to a donut shop! Litterely grab the wrong handle look up your in with a ton of donuts!2
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I see you haven't posted again in the thread since posting it - I hope that you're ok.
This is a very personal thing as other people have pointed out so in the end you'll have to come up with a solution that works for you, but I can certainly say that I sympathise with you and share things I've used to help me...
I love food - I love sweets in particular. Milk chocolate, cakes, pastries ... all sorts of baked goods ... I have a real sweet tooth. I knew even before I started on my "fitness journey" in January of this year that there was no way I was going to be able to succeed if I denied myself and didn't eat food I liked. So my trainer, in the first instance, came up with a nutrition plan that included sweets in it.
I have a calorie 'budget' of around 1200 calories a day which I can increase by doing exercise. The 1200 is a fairly loose figure because (at least lately), I allow myself to eat over that amount fairly regularly because I do a lot of exercise.
So long as I eat within my budget and give myself a calorie deficit each day, I figure I'm doing ok.
In the beginning it was really, REALLY hard for me because I was used to eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted ... in reducing portion sizes and eating less frequently, I was feeling hungry quite a lot. Over time this has pretty much faded as my body got used to the new normal and I am pretty sure my stomach must have shrunk - things I used to be able to eat a lot of, I find myself eating smaller amounts of.
So in the beginning, what I did was:
- find snacks that helped to at least take the edge off the hunger e.g. raspberries, a little box of Aldi fruit and nuts. The fruit and nuts are 132 calories and I stretch them out over a day. The almonds fill you up more and if you chew them with a raisin they're sweet
- drink carbonated mineral water to help get a fuller filling. Drinking the carbonated mineral water when I ate food, filled me up more
- ate using a teaspoon instead of a big spoon as it made food last longer. The whole 'chewing longer' thing doesn't work for me as I'm a quick eater
- eating a bunch of vegetables was pretty boring for me so I found that using a portion of .e.g the youfoodz nacho bowl salad (sans chips) and stirring it through the vegetables made it taste better. I use a small portion of chilli con carne or bolognese sauce to flavour my vegetables - then I can eat quite a lot of vegies and feel full but also still have some nice sauce to accompany it.
- I looked for substitutes that tasted nice. sogood and skinny cow ice creams actually taste good. youfoodz has a protein brownie that's delicious. The youfoodz protein balls are very sweet and the Turkish delight one is mega yum.
Then as I got into the habit of having smaller portions, I let myself eat more sweets so long as they fell within my calorie budget e.g. a tim tam is 97 calories, if I eat a few Cadbury chocolate easter eggs I can make the chocolate last longer without exceeding my budget I build sweets into my budget so that I don't feel like I'm denying myself.
Another way I motivate myself is that I record every single thing I eat ... so sometimes I think about whether I want to go to the both of recording the extra biscuit/bit of chocolate I ate ..or if it's worth the hour long walk or 30 minutes on the elliptical. If the answer is yes, then I eat it, if it's not, then I don't.
I've been overweight for almost 30 years now, obese on the BMI scale for more than 20 years. I've managed to lose 24-25kg this year by eating carefully and exercising every day. I've never been a gym person, I'm not an athlete, have pathetic lungs and have some physical limitations when training but my trainer has worked hard to come up with exercises I can do. On the occasional day when I know I've eaten more sweets/yummies than I should, I don't beat myself up over it, although I also don't eat more because I know that day is stuffed. I will usually eat some jelly or a raspberry and tell myself I'll start again tomorrow and all 'damage' is fixable in the coming days with some extra discipline and exercise.
I think weight loss is simple (calories in and calories out) but it's definitely not easy at ALL. There are some lucky people who do not have a complicated relationship with food and weight loss/maintenance is easy for them - I'm not one of those. So I just wanted to say please stick at it, don't give up and feel discouraged - you can do this!
ETA: I'm still not there yet as I'm not scheduled to reach goal weight until August.7 -
I could have written your post. It is not that I say to myself - well I ate one "bad" thing, so I am going to eat crazy and binge for one day or a week or continue for months. It is just so unconscious if that is the correct word. It can be that the item was so tasty to you that you want to continue. And once we started this habit recently or years and years ago, that is what it is, a habit that keeps us bringing us to the same routine. It might help to get a notebook or type of MFP your foods. I do it the night before thinking what I will eat the next day, any restaurants or who I will be with. I can adjust it the day of but it certainly helps to know what will probably be breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. Some of us do have triggers/sugar addictions, similar to a drug/alcohol addiction. Some feel you can have a little of a food you might deem unhealthy or not on your plan. But others who have that one item may need to stay away from that food. Maybe after you eat that one item and want to continue, we should come right on this site and reach out and say I think I am going to eat me and won't be able to stop. A long time ago I was on a different site and I did type out that I felt I was going to eat. I said I would go for a walk. I actually did. I came back and wrote that I beat a binge. It was actually an amazing feeling. Sometimes the emotion you have at the moment might dictate whether you are able to stop or not. Feeling annoyed with someone might make me reach for food and then not be able to stop. It is really a tough thing to try to overcome but one day at a time, one meal at a time, one bite at a time. Hug4
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I’ve been working out for 2 weeks on and off for 40mins
I’ve been having a shake with kale and spinach every night for a month now
And I haven’t lost any visible weight!! I’ve lost a tiny bit off my waist and my tummy isn’t as bloated but it really lowers my self esteem that no one has noticed this slight weight loss. Feels like all the hard work is not working and maybe I’m just seeing things3
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