Self Control Issues
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Wanted to add.... sugar substitutes dont cause you to gain weight. In SOME people they may drive hedonistic eating elsewhere.4
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JRsLateInLifeMom wrote: »MFP says 1200 which is tuff for me so I go over 1200-1400 but mainly average is 1300
Think I told it a pound hard to remember not sure where to look.
Based on your activity level I suspect you told it a faster rate of loss. I would be willing to bet that 1500 is closer to 1 pound a week for you.
Go to your goals tab and then click on the link for "Guided Setup"
Someone correct me if this is not correct for the app which I seldom use. I use the browser interface.1 -
psychod787 wrote: »Wanted to add.... sugar substitutes dont cause you to gain weight. In SOME people they may drive hedonistic eating elsewhere.
Thats an interesting point. I dont eat anything with sweetner in it (I dont have a particularly sweet tooth) because my perception is that I would taste the sweet but not get the calories and that I would then not feel satisfied.
This is in my own head no doubt although I thought I read a reference to studies which also showed this, but I dont know how accurate that is.
So if I do have something sweet, its with real sugar or whatever it has it in, not artificial sweetners.
I have one coffee every couple of days, Im not a massive coffee drinker but I do have 4 sugars in it!3 -
Black tea sounds Devine haven’t seen it in ages. Cold herbal tea got a recipe or two for it with my grandma recipes. They were farmers there y here too. I bet my setting is wrong cause so far feels like I can’t reach my goal calories easily at all. I’ll try your changing the guided setup too.
Don what’s yours set at might be the same issue especially since men need more calories.0 -
I have noticed a slow mental change for the better over time for myself. Bread and it's brothers and sisters are my trigger food. One loaf, no problem - better are two loaves. Nowadays I ask myself: "will this item be freely available tomorrow, next week, next months?" It usually is and more often than not I stop worrying about it, I stop having to buy it here and now, I stop thinking that I have to eat it now. I also make sure that I always have "safe" food at home which I really, really enjoy. Mixed salads, low fat cottage cheese, smoked salmon or grilled chicken or a boiled egg with ever changing home - made salad dressings. I have also noticed that I am not always "hungry" but that I am actually "thirsty", especially when it is in between meal times. So I make myself a cuppa tea and have that first. Usually that's all I need for the moment.5
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Oh thats a bit similar to my emergency kitkat. Its in one of my handbags and sometimes I forget Ive got it and then just remember it, like now. I could eat it, its there, but I dont need to because its there waiting for me when I need it.
Mind you, its only because its sort of chocolate and biscuit I havent got mental for it. If it was a pizza it wouldnt have touched the sides. (not that many people have emergency pizzas in their handbags)6 -
Think we all need to figure out our trigger foods to work on which is so hard.My issue like many also is seeing coworkers to our kids eating those yummies in front of us that we crave so bad. I find I can be full see a slice of pizza or cake or walk by the supermarket deli smelling samples oohhhh goodness so hard. Driving by fast food places don’t help either. My sons Pediactrics is next door to a donut shop! Litterely grab the wrong handle look up your in with a ton of donuts!2
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I see you haven't posted again in the thread since posting it - I hope that you're ok.
This is a very personal thing as other people have pointed out so in the end you'll have to come up with a solution that works for you, but I can certainly say that I sympathise with you and share things I've used to help me...
I love food - I love sweets in particular. Milk chocolate, cakes, pastries ... all sorts of baked goods ... I have a real sweet tooth. I knew even before I started on my "fitness journey" in January of this year that there was no way I was going to be able to succeed if I denied myself and didn't eat food I liked. So my trainer, in the first instance, came up with a nutrition plan that included sweets in it.
I have a calorie 'budget' of around 1200 calories a day which I can increase by doing exercise. The 1200 is a fairly loose figure because (at least lately), I allow myself to eat over that amount fairly regularly because I do a lot of exercise.
So long as I eat within my budget and give myself a calorie deficit each day, I figure I'm doing ok.
In the beginning it was really, REALLY hard for me because I was used to eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted ... in reducing portion sizes and eating less frequently, I was feeling hungry quite a lot. Over time this has pretty much faded as my body got used to the new normal and I am pretty sure my stomach must have shrunk - things I used to be able to eat a lot of, I find myself eating smaller amounts of.
So in the beginning, what I did was:
- find snacks that helped to at least take the edge off the hunger e.g. raspberries, a little box of Aldi fruit and nuts. The fruit and nuts are 132 calories and I stretch them out over a day. The almonds fill you up more and if you chew them with a raisin they're sweet
- drink carbonated mineral water to help get a fuller filling. Drinking the carbonated mineral water when I ate food, filled me up more
- ate using a teaspoon instead of a big spoon as it made food last longer. The whole 'chewing longer' thing doesn't work for me as I'm a quick eater
- eating a bunch of vegetables was pretty boring for me so I found that using a portion of .e.g the youfoodz nacho bowl salad (sans chips) and stirring it through the vegetables made it taste better. I use a small portion of chilli con carne or bolognese sauce to flavour my vegetables - then I can eat quite a lot of vegies and feel full but also still have some nice sauce to accompany it.
- I looked for substitutes that tasted nice. sogood and skinny cow ice creams actually taste good. youfoodz has a protein brownie that's delicious. The youfoodz protein balls are very sweet and the Turkish delight one is mega yum.
Then as I got into the habit of having smaller portions, I let myself eat more sweets so long as they fell within my calorie budget e.g. a tim tam is 97 calories, if I eat a few Cadbury chocolate easter eggs I can make the chocolate last longer without exceeding my budget I build sweets into my budget so that I don't feel like I'm denying myself.
Another way I motivate myself is that I record every single thing I eat ... so sometimes I think about whether I want to go to the both of recording the extra biscuit/bit of chocolate I ate ..or if it's worth the hour long walk or 30 minutes on the elliptical. If the answer is yes, then I eat it, if it's not, then I don't.
I've been overweight for almost 30 years now, obese on the BMI scale for more than 20 years. I've managed to lose 24-25kg this year by eating carefully and exercising every day. I've never been a gym person, I'm not an athlete, have pathetic lungs and have some physical limitations when training but my trainer has worked hard to come up with exercises I can do. On the occasional day when I know I've eaten more sweets/yummies than I should, I don't beat myself up over it, although I also don't eat more because I know that day is stuffed. I will usually eat some jelly or a raspberry and tell myself I'll start again tomorrow and all 'damage' is fixable in the coming days with some extra discipline and exercise.
I think weight loss is simple (calories in and calories out) but it's definitely not easy at ALL. There are some lucky people who do not have a complicated relationship with food and weight loss/maintenance is easy for them - I'm not one of those. So I just wanted to say please stick at it, don't give up and feel discouraged - you can do this!
ETA: I'm still not there yet as I'm not scheduled to reach goal weight until August.7 -
I could have written your post. It is not that I say to myself - well I ate one "bad" thing, so I am going to eat crazy and binge for one day or a week or continue for months. It is just so unconscious if that is the correct word. It can be that the item was so tasty to you that you want to continue. And once we started this habit recently or years and years ago, that is what it is, a habit that keeps us bringing us to the same routine. It might help to get a notebook or type of MFP your foods. I do it the night before thinking what I will eat the next day, any restaurants or who I will be with. I can adjust it the day of but it certainly helps to know what will probably be breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks. Some of us do have triggers/sugar addictions, similar to a drug/alcohol addiction. Some feel you can have a little of a food you might deem unhealthy or not on your plan. But others who have that one item may need to stay away from that food. Maybe after you eat that one item and want to continue, we should come right on this site and reach out and say I think I am going to eat me and won't be able to stop. A long time ago I was on a different site and I did type out that I felt I was going to eat. I said I would go for a walk. I actually did. I came back and wrote that I beat a binge. It was actually an amazing feeling. Sometimes the emotion you have at the moment might dictate whether you are able to stop or not. Feeling annoyed with someone might make me reach for food and then not be able to stop. It is really a tough thing to try to overcome but one day at a time, one meal at a time, one bite at a time. Hug4
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I’ve been working out for 2 weeks on and off for 40mins
I’ve been having a shake with kale and spinach every night for a month now
And I haven’t lost any visible weight!! I’ve lost a tiny bit off my waist and my tummy isn’t as bloated but it really lowers my self esteem that no one has noticed this slight weight loss. Feels like all the hard work is not working and maybe I’m just seeing things3 -
I relate everything you said OP.0
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Just to clarify we do not drink our tea with cream. That would be an abomination. And NEVER offer warm milk with a cuppa. Its cold milk.
Sugar optional.
Milk last as well and its safer to let a Brit put their own milk in too....not that we are particular about the whole tea thing............much.2 -
Imtired2019 > If it’s not working change it up. I find if I plateau I got to redo the menu items to curb something or try a different food.What works for the few doesn’t work for all.Tgat goes for any diet out there.
Here’s the latest fad celery juice diet- you drink it down sit on the toilet non-stop get pimples lol. At least that’s what truthful reviews say lol. I tried a few diet items like green tea Lipton in the bottle 0 calories it claims I went up. I heard from my cousin he uses the bags no sugar or substitute it’s not effecting him.I switched it up my body wasn’t reacting the same as others on it.
I find certain foods cause so much weight gain in me or water gains it’s ridiculous yet another I drop weight easily but may/may not love it.3 -
I’m going to start Tea anonymous group- we all got tea addictions lol I’ll allow coffee drinkers it’s the wine of the bunch.1
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I find that if I do something all the time, it then becomes my habit. If I eat say M&Ms all the time, I crave M&Ms. If I stay away from sugar, cookies, breads, etc., I lose the craving. I've been learning that if I want something to be a habit for me, then I repeat that behavior enough and it will become my new norm. If I eat something repeatedly, then I want to continue to do so, so even though it may be hard, really hard, sometimes, I try to remind myself that I'm making a new and better habit for myself. When I still cave, I remind myself that it was just a slip, don't punish myself, and move on. I hope to have a lot of next meals, snacks, days, etc. to have more and more successes to follow. A slip up here and there in the long scheme of things, is not going to kill me. Giving up may. All the best to you.6
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It took me YEARS of yo-yo dieting to lose the “all or nothing” mentality. MFP helped a lot, especially reading the Success Stories and Motivation threads. Good luck to you!2
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I use to eat something with a lot of calories and just give up, now I log my calories, know I cant be perfect, get back on track. I know easier said than done. But it works, bettter than being heavy, have to work at it, yes, have to be willing to do the work and the results pay off.2
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donaldstokley wrote: »I need to get in a better mind set. For some reason I get it in my head that if I eat one bad thing that the day is for nothing and just go ahead and eat what ever I want instead of just eating the one bad thing and continue with my healthier plan for the day. I feel like my will power really needs help. I really do feel like a drug addict that can't even think about food without wanting to go binge eat everything in sight. If any one has any pointers for me on how I can work with the way I think about food that would be great and appreciated.
Just wanted to make sure you're not trying to lose weight too fast, as undereating can definitely lead to binging.
How much weight do you want to lose total and what is your weekly weight loss goal set to?
I also have self-control issues when I am sleep deprived, don't eat enough protein, or don't exercise regularly so I work very hard to make sure I have those three things covered.
Mild to moderate exercise is a mild appetite suppressant for me, and releases the "happy hormones" I used to seek from food. I used to self-medicate with food, but now manage stress with regular exercise, and increased stress with increased exercise.2 -
JRsLateInLifeMom wrote: »MFP says 1200 which is tuff for me so I go over 1200-1400 but mainly average is 1300
Think I told it a pound hard to remember not sure where to look.
1200 can be tough (and counterproductive) for any woman who is not very very short and also sedentary.
https://www.aworkoutroutine.com/1200-calorie-diet/
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So true had to change my settings was so tough that’s exactly my yo-yo on that chart! Increased it now says 1400 for a few days now but slip up like forgetting to add stuff yesterday didn’t help that one item I forgot messed up the whole count.1
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psychod787 wrote: »I would also offer a 2 cents piece of advice I wish I had heard when I start. Think about ideal weight vs goal weight. Find a place where you can maintain. It might not be the lowest weight you want, but one that let's you feel good and perform.
^ This. I thought my perfect weight would be 125#, because I loved how I looked in pictures when I weighed 125#, but then I thought about things. I had ZERO muscle then. I didn't really like how I looked back then. My tummy was smaller, but it was still flabby and I still sucked it in for pictures. So, I don't really know if I want to be 125#. I just want to be in a place where I don't feel like I've got to suck in my stomach for pictures. That's my goal, now.Just to clarify we do not drink our tea with cream. That would be an abomination. And NEVER offer warm milk with a cuppa. Its cold milk.
I'm American, but I like the way you think.
Donald - I find what works best for me when I want to munch (eat when I'm not really hungry) is distract myself. With housework, a video game, conversation, exercise, a good book, whatever activity you find to be very engaging.2 -
I have struggled with this for the past couple of years myself. I find that it is at its worst when I am 1.) not eating enough during the day, and 2.) I am bored. I am learning to discipline myself to eat more during the day and to find something else to do when I have the urge to eat just because I am bored.
2 is definitely me. I’ve been told that I have a problem with stress eating or “eating my feelings,” but I think it’s less that and more to do with me just sitting around and snacking because I’m bored. I’ve been trying to find different things to do to occupy my time, because when I’m doing something, I’m not usually thinking about eating!
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JRsLateInLifeMom wrote: »I’m going to start Tea anonymous group- we all got tea addictions lol I’ll allow coffee drinkers it’s the wine of the bunch.
Sign me up !1 -
jean133mjg wrote: »I find that if I do something all the time, it then becomes my habit. If I eat say M&Ms all the time, I crave M&Ms. If I stay away from sugar, cookies, breads, etc., I lose the craving. I've been learning that if I want something to be a habit for me, then I repeat that behavior enough and it will become my new norm. If I eat something repeatedly, then I want to continue to do so, so even though it may be hard, really hard, sometimes, I try to remind myself that I'm making a new and better habit for myself. When I still cave, I remind myself that it was just a slip, don't punish myself, and move on. I hope to have a lot of next meals, snacks, days, etc. to have more and more successes to follow. A slip up here and there in the long scheme of things, is not going to kill me. Giving up may. All the best to you.
This - with bells on.2 -
I just poured water in my 2oz of tea ☕️ cup after it was gone in case I missed a drop. Hello I’m a tea addict 👋.
It’s my first day dry broke down had to grab 2-4oz each try lol
Found myself adding water to make more lol
Then adding water to a empty cup for a missing drop
Thinking of becoming homeless hold up a sign will work for tea ☕️ lol 😂0 -
You're trying to tackle a dual issue; mindset and physical wellness. These certainly aren't oppositional - I'd suggest you use them to your advantage.
You sound like once you have something highly-caloric you give in to the idea your day is dietarily ruined. That's a difficult feeling to break, but I'd suggest using it to your advantage rather than trying to totally break it.
Actively start your day with something you consider healthy; for me it's an oats protein shake.
The general idea is if you think one "bad meal" will ruin your day, you need to start your day right. You'll feel mentally healthier, and it will be easier to combat the "bad meal" feelings.2 -
donaldstokley wrote: »I need to get in a better mind set. For some reason I get it in my head that if I eat one bad thing that the day is for nothing and just go ahead and eat what ever I want instead of just eating the one bad thing and continue with my healthier plan for the day. I feel like my will power really needs help. I really do feel like a drug addict that can't even think about food without wanting to go binge eat everything in sight. If any one has any pointers for me on how I can work with the way I think about food that would be great and appreciated.
The better mindset is that there is no bad food. When you need to eat a treat just eat it and try to stick within your calorie deficit because losing weight will make you healthier all by itself.
I agree with this 100%. Take those foods you like and work them into your calorie allotment for the day. And if you're just starting/restarting, don't start with a large deficit. Keep it small (500 or less per day including exercise cals) and make the healthy habits first before you really delve into a serious weight loss plan.
Also, I would advise against trying to compensate the next day or a later meal. Stick with the plan. Eat normally. Don't try to restrict and move on. But most of all give yourself permission to deviate from the plan if needed.
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I used to do exactly the same thing. I've found logging has been hugely helpful. In actuality most of the time the day is not lost. When I was actively losing I would adjust something planned for later in the day or exercise a bit more or I might have just eaten at maintenance that day. Eventually I lost to my goal weight and I am now maintaining. I still have the odd off day where I eat over maintenance and I just cut back a bit the rest of the week. Try to get away from the all or nothing thinking and actually log what you ate and you may be very surprised to see that it wasn't as bad as you thought. I also agree that telling yourself that certain foods are completely forbidden is a sure way to fall into this trap. There are foods I no longer choose to eat simply because they are too expensive calorically but I know I can have it if I really want it.4
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Still having the issues. I had a really bad week last week but started drinking a gallon of water a day. I still ate incredibly bad but was still able to pull off a 2 pound loss. This week is a new week and ready to do better. Thanks to everyone who has posted I really appreciate it.4
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I ate like 1000 calories of flapjack today. I did a mild mental 'screw it' but let myself eat it until I hit maintenance calories or a tiny bit over, then I stopped. Went off and did a weights class and had lots of energy for it. I'm about to go to bed and I'm still not hungry, but I don't feel too full. I'm not going to gain weight from it. But a few months ago it would have freaked me the hell out. I still wish I could have just eaten the 250 calories of it I planned to have, but eh. At least I didn't eat the whole pan. Progress, not perfection.6
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