I'm not really sure what's happening

I just want to preface this post by saying that I've been around these forums for a while and have always found them helpful. I never thought I'd post something like this and I feel kind of embarrassed about it but I'm hoping that there are people who have had a similar issue and can maybe give me advice.

I started MFP in June 2015 at 139 pounds; I'm 5'3", 34 years old. I lost 20 pounds within the first 2.5 months and eventually got down to 107ish by July 2016. Since then it's been up and down; whenever my weight gets that low I end up rebounding to 115. The worst time was when I hit 125 in December 2017. Sidenote that there is nothing wrong with being 125 pounds, it's just not the right weight for me. I used to do IF a few years ago and just really didn't see the benefits, eventually lost my period, then ended up being super hungry all the time and gaining back some weight. It took like a year to bounce back from that.

This leads me to now. I got down to 108 pounds around a month ago and then my period was late but eventually came and only lasted a few days. Also there is zero chance of pregnancy in case anyone thinks to ask. Since then I've been battling excessive hunger. I've stopped trying to fight it and just let my body do its thing; some days I eat more and some I eat less. I figure that maybe the very low end of the BMI range isn't my happy place. I wasn't trying to lose weight either as my goal is maintenance it just seems to happen as I lose my appetite due to work stress, etc. I've stopped weighing in daily because post binge weights exacerbate my anxiety and guilt. I've stopped tracking food for the same reasons as I was becoming obsessive. I felt like I just needed to hit reset.

At first I felt better but now I feel like it's getting worse. Today was the worst of all as I've just finished eating ~1500 calories on top of what had to be a minimum of 2500 for the day already. I also feel zero discomfort or fullness and like I could even eat more food.

To give more background, I'm pretty active. I workout 45 minutes to an hour six days per week. I do resistance training four times per week and do straight cardio two times per week. My heart rate is high during resistance training; I'm not doing super heavy low rep sets with breaks. I also usually get 12 to 20K steps on my Fitbit with an estimated TDEE that's usually between 2000 and 2500. I'm fairly muscular and lean aside from my stomach these days due to water weight bloat. I've been working out consistently for years and I'm pretty fit.

Thanks if you've read all of this so far. My whole point is I'm not really sure why I feel so desperately hungry. I also get days where I feel too exhausted to do anything beyond my morning workout and shower. That's usually on the weekends. I get around six hours of sleep per night but I try so hard to get more. On the weekends I do get a bit more because my brain isn't thinking about my job. I don't like the feeling of being ravenous even right after eating hundreds of calories. It's concerning and I obviously want to get a handle on it before it gets out of control. I always seem to but I really don't want to gain ten pounds back just to feel too soft and try to cut again. I'm curious if anyone, especially anyone with stats similar to mine, has gone through something similar. I'm wondering if I should actually see a doctor at this point. I'm so confused, upset, and tired of going through this and feeling like I have to fight tooth and nail against myself.

Thanks again if you've read this; I appreciate it.

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Replies

  • Maxematics
    Maxematics Posts: 2,287 Member
    jan110144 wrote: »
    Just one more comment. When I started maintenance. I experienced something similar. I bounced between inmvereating/binging and getting back on track for over a month. I finally changed my eating by upping my calories at a TDEE (estimating on the higher side, since I am very active) and not eating back exercise calories. Bingo! That did the trick!!

    Turns out that I just was not eating enough. I am surprised that I'm eating so much, but I have not had the yoyoing experience since. I have even lost a bit more, which means I will be upping my TDEE number a bit since I don't want to lose more.

    Thank you for this. I've long suspected that I may burn off more than my Fitbit says I do. I have more muscle mass than the average woman with my stats which can change things and I wear it on my left wrist but have the settings as it being on my dominant wrist. That's why I've stopped tracking as the red/green numbers mess with my head too much even though I don't like to admit it. I want to just let my body do its thing and go from there. I'd rather weigh more and not feel ravenous all day than weigh less and feel like I could eat my entire pantry.
  • pontious11349
    pontious11349 Posts: 105 Member
    Apart from the period problem im the same LOL. Same age, same sleep, same training volume...same yo-yo binges and guilt.... I actually started my own thread on this a few weeks ago and I think even just writing it down helped.

    I've since dumped the scales (bathroom and kitchen) and gone on my energy levels only. My workouts have improved and I feel better /stronger. Not sure if im heavier but im not losing definition...might even be improving. Time will tell.

    Anyway moral of story - I chilled out about the numbers and i somehow feel much better. You look in great shape so i figure if you just eat well and train hard you cant really go wrong. I could go on a lot about what eating well means but as that's not the aim of your thread ill refrain :)
  • Phirrgus
    Phirrgus Posts: 1,902 Member
    You've already gotten great feedback, so I'm just tossing in some encouragement for support and I really hope things smooth out for you quickly. Sending good vibes your way.
  • Maxematics
    Maxematics Posts: 2,287 Member
    You mentioned becoming a vegetarian - how’s your protein? If I don’t get enough high-quality protein I feel starved, and it can be tricky on a vegetarian diet. It’s also very easy to eat low fat while vegetarian, and some people need more fat to feel satiated. Try playing with your macros and see if it helps.

    I’m thinking the main issue is stress and not enough sleep, though. Hope you feel better after your break!

    Thank you. I actually eat more protein than I need. I average about 130 grams per day but it's not unusual for me to hit 150 grams. It's rare that I'm ever below 120 grams. However, in all of my rethinking of things today I did decide to reincorporate fish into my diet to start. As far as I can remember, I wasn't having these issues when fish was in my diet a few days per week.

    My macros are usually 40/30/30. In looking back at my last week logged 5/27 to 6/2, I averaged 138 protein (22%), 274 carbs (44%), 95 fat (34%). In case anyone asks about sugar, 77 grams average. 164 protein (35%), 192 carbs (35%), 84 fat (30%), 50g of sugar the prior week. I'm always below my recommended MFP sugars but not for any reason other than I just don't have a big sweet tooth.

    Thank you again; I hope I feel better after my break too.

    @Phirrgus Thank you so much! I really appreciate it.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    Maxematics wrote: »
    You mentioned becoming a vegetarian - how’s your protein? If I don’t get enough high-quality protein I feel starved, and it can be tricky on a vegetarian diet. It’s also very easy to eat low fat while vegetarian, and some people need more fat to feel satiated. Try playing with your macros and see if it helps.

    I’m thinking the main issue is stress and not enough sleep, though. Hope you feel better after your break!

    Thank you. I actually eat more protein than I need. I average about 130 grams per day but it's not unusual for me to hit 150 grams. It's rare that I'm ever below 120 grams. However, in all of my rethinking of things today I did decide to reincorporate fish into my diet to start. As far as I can remember, I wasn't having these issues when fish was in my diet a few days per week.

    My macros are usually 40/30/30. In looking back at my last week logged 5/27 to 6/2, I averaged 138 protein (22%), 274 carbs (44%), 95 fat (34%). In case anyone asks about sugar, 77 grams average. 164 protein (35%), 192 carbs (35%), 84 fat (30%), 50g of sugar the prior week. I'm always below my recommended MFP sugars but not for any reason other than I just don't have a big sweet tooth.

    Thank you again; I hope I feel better after my break too.

    @Phirrgus Thank you so much! I really appreciate it.

    Sugar should not be a problem anyway unless you have some insulin issues. I replaced my sugar column with fiber a very long time ago because it is much more important to me.