Baffling concerned from family members.

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  • FabCheeky
    FabCheeky Posts: 311
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    I think these days a lot of people actually DON'T know what a healthy weight looks like- especially if many/most friends and acquaintances are overweight. We all compare ourselves with those we spend time with- women are probably worse for this. I know when I worked at a place where most people were overweight I put on quite a bit of weight because I felt comparatively better about myself and my mental 'weight thermostat' shifted over time. Its only when something happens like meeting new people/changing job/a friend losing loads of weight, that you get jolted back out of your comfort zone. Do you think your success if making them look more critically at themselves? I agree with the idea of showing them the BMI chart- for both your benefit and theirs!

    ^^This. I usually laugh when I get the "concern"...because I know that it's not real concern. No one said anything to me when I was fat about my weight. In fact, I was perpetually sick and STILL no one said anything. I had blood sugar issues and STILL no one said anything. It wasn't until I changed my lifestyle around to include one to two hours of vigorous activity 5 times a week and started eating a Paleo style diet---when my entire life changed. That's when I started getting the absolute worst of the "concern" about my weight. It was and is ridiculous. I'm currently 107 pounds. For my height and bone frame, I could get all the way down to 95 pounds and still be in the healthy BMI range. I have NO intention of doing that (currently trying to build more muscle and lose a little fat percentage).

    I am convinced that people see me and look at their own habits and health. Especially my former "eating buddies."
    Instead of living on so many medications and struggling, I am vibrantly healthy and off of all of my former medications. I run, dance, lift weights, and Zumba every chance that I get. I can play with my kids like a kid, and I feel better than I can ever remember feeling. I can wear pants that I bought at 18 years old. (I'm 32.)

    So, when I get the comments, I laugh---then: flex a bicep at them or start talking about my latest leg press weight or my goal to run a full marathon by September 2012 or (most recently) talk about how my Zumba instructors have been talking to me about maybe getting certified if I can get comfortable enough on stage to lead.
  • wendybird5
    wendybird5 Posts: 577 Member
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    I also get the same thing from family. I tell them that I am still considered overweight and I haven't come this far to stop now. I think it's that they are accustomed to seeing us larger. Not only that but with the average weight creeping up a majority of people are larger. I still have to have the "yes I am fine and no I am not starving" conversation often.

    I have to agree with them being used to seeing us larger.

    I know I had the same moment with my dad. He was diagnosed with weight-related diabetes and was put on a strict diet. It was great for him and he lost fifty pounds, but I remember visiting home and seeing him for the first time since the weight loss and being a little scared at first because the weight loss made him look older and sickly to me. It seemed like such a drastic change just because the last time I'd seen him, he was huge. But I realised it was just my perception, not reality, and I needed to get used to the change.

    I say don't take it personal. Just give people a chance to get used to your new look.
  • thatwordsmith
    thatwordsmith Posts: 7
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    I love that: "smile and wave, boys. Smile and wave." It's a great response. I can't say I've ever had that problem, but maybe, "That's so sweet of you to care about my health. Thank you! How's YOUR health these days?" Switch the subject to them and get them talking about themselves.
  • leslielt
    leslielt Posts: 113 Member
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    I assume (actually I'd be surprised i haven't) you've talked with your doctor during this process so maybe mentioning to concerned family that your doctor is in full support and monitoring your diet.
  • Booboo78
    Booboo78 Posts: 169
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    I think the norm is to be overweight nowadays. Also, if someone's always seen you as overweight and you start losing weight, you can look so different to them they start to think something's wrong. It's just funny to me that people will freely tell other people they are losing too much weight but when people start get to the point of being severely overweight or obese, no one really feels the need to have concern.

    I agree.

    It's like that saying, "birds of a feather flock together" - people tend to stick with people that are similar to them. I remember reading that overweight people tend to have overweight friends - and I've seen it as well. Same thing with couples. It becomes 'normal' behaviour in that group. In this day of age, and in general, more and more people are becoming obese, hence it isbecoming the 'norm', as you said.

    Also it is funny how people are quick to notice if you are losing weight, but not the other way round. I reckon it's because it's still a sensitive 'touchy' taboo subject, to point out to someone that they are gaining/have gained a lot of weight is considered 'rude'. Fat = unattractiveness, in society.

    Whereas as slim = attractive, it seems to be a way of 'knocking someone down a peg or two' - giving people cart blanche to say what they like. It's like, 'well your slim and attractive, you don't need support/compliments/morale boost - you're fine as you are'.

    Odd huh? :huh:

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