How do you nicely tell your partner to lose weight?
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Hmm I’m not sure. I see a lot of mismatched couples around here.....7
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You don’t. They make their own decisions.29
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I don't think there's a nice way to tell someone to lose weight, especially your significant other.
Also..I've seen plenty of couples where one is fit and the other is not. I don't know, probably because they love eachother for who they are.15 -
Attraction rather than promotion. Just lead by example and if the conversation does come up then approach it with a concern for their health And well being ie:make sure they know you love them and you’re not say “there’s no excuse for a man to be under 6ft tall, HIT THE GYM FATA$$” haha seriously tho lol4
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That person surely knows they need to lose weight. They look in the mirror each day. Not a surprise. What you can do is be supportive, and make changes to your eating or working out. If they want to change, they hafta do it on their own timing.8
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Just frame some unflattering photos and hang them on the walls. Nicely. It worked on me.
Or you could try leading by example and extending invitations to exercise together.7 -
I always wondered how men/women encouraged their significant other to eat healthy and workout... it’s rare that you see a couple where one is fit and the other is not ...
You don't...
When I started, the eating part was pretty easy because I'm the primary cook in the house...so she ate whatever I prepared. I started exercising regularly and eventually joined a gym to get back into the weight room a few months later. My wife decided on her own to join me because she could see the results I was getting.
That said, it wasn't particularly hard for her...or me. At one time we were both pretty lean and fit and were both competitive athletes who just let things slip once we started working "real" jobs and started a family. It was pretty easy to get back on the wagon once we decided to just get started.8 -
That’s a super cute story. I thought I’d ask because a close friend of mine bf told her he wasn’t sexually attracted to her anymore because she let herself “go.” In a way I respect his honesty but in another way I see it as being mean and rude. I thought that would light her fire to make her start working out with me but it only made things worse. 😞0
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That’s so hurtful. It would make me want to hide. And when I felt well enough to actually take care of myself it would be without him.That’s a super cute story. I thought I’d ask because a close friend of mine bf told her he wasn’t sexually attracted to her anymore because she let herself “go.” In a way I respect his honesty but in another way I see it as being mean and rude. I thought that would light her fire to make her start working out with me but it only made things worse. 😞
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You don't "nicely" tell anyone else to lose weight, and don't think that "I don't care about your looks, I only care about your health," is nice because every fat/overweight person has heard it all before. If your friend's bf is no longer attracted to her it's good that he told her, but as a motivator for her to lose weight, I suspect it would have the opposite effect. If one really wants to help someone else make any kind of change, find out if they want to make the change, then ask THEM what would help. My husband goes to water aerobics with me when he absolutely hates the water, but he knows I'm intimidated to go alone. He also keeps his snack foods out of the house, and he eats whatever healthy food I decide we are eating without complaint (at least not to my face, lol).5
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I always wondered how men/women encouraged their significant other to eat healthy and workout... it’s rare that you see a couple where one is fit and the other is not ...
Apparently, I don't live in your area. I see many couples or families where one adult is trim (like my husband) and the other adult is not (like me).
It's one thing to be concerned about your partner's health and wellbeing. It's another entirely to want them to lose weight.3 -
That’s a super cute story. I thought I’d ask because a close friend of mine bf told her he wasn’t sexually attracted to her anymore because she let herself “go.” In a way I respect his honesty but in another way I see it as being mean and rude. I thought that would light her fire to make her start working out with me but it only made things worse. 😞
It was mean and rude. Period. She's better off without him. I would've dumped his *kitten* in a New York minute and I'm not even from New York. 😠6 -
That’s a super cute story. I thought I’d ask because a close friend of mine bf told her he wasn’t sexually attracted to her anymore because she let herself “go.” In a way I respect his honesty but in another way I see it as being mean and rude. I thought that would light her fire to make her start working out with me but it only made things worse. 😞
So - I'll play along with this one. YOU DON'T! I'd seriously question other aspects of their relationship if he felt like this was an alright statement. It hits rather close to home for me, my ex told me the same thing. I'd gained about 15 lbs since I married him and therefore it was all my fault. Keep in mind, I'm 5'8" and the most I've ever weighed was 156. He told me that it was best for our relationship if he was brutally honest - really, he was just brutal. He told me that I wouldn't look so old if I'd get myself into better shape. Both statements coming from a guy with a potbelly that was 5'7" and weighed 195.
It goes to so much more than just her appearance. Turned out my husband used it as an excuse to justify cheating on me with every 20 yo he could con into it. I busted my butt, stressed and lost it quickly - soon as I did - it was in some other aspect that I just didn't measure up....the 'brutal honesty' never ended and it's nothing more than an excuse to emotionally abuse someone.
About 4 months after that statement, I caught him with a 19 yo that he'd had on the side for a year.........and immediately filed. My life has been 100,000 times better since then. Looking back, I should've filed the second he started telling me that he needed to be brutally honest about anything.23 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
That’s so hurtful. It would make me want to hide. And when I felt well enough to actually take care of myself it would be without him.That’s a super cute story. I thought I’d ask because a close friend of mine bf told her he wasn’t sexually attracted to her anymore because she let herself “go.” In a way I respect his honesty but in another way I see it as being mean and rude. I thought that would light her fire to make her start working out with me but it only made things worse. 😞
Just curious on this - yeah it’s f’d up thing to say - so in Lieu of saying it - if that’s how he’s truly feeling, should he just break it off ?? But then what if she ask why - should he be brutally honest or just make something up? To spare hard feelings “it’s not you it’s me” thing
If he’s feeling this way then he prolly truly doesn’t love her anyway right - cause if you love someone you take the good and bad right ? Or what we perceive as bad - not all perceive being overweight as bad ..
Anyway - I find this topic interesting- where’s @1sphere - what are your thoughts homie3 -
your_future_ex_wife wrote: »
That’s so hurtful. It would make me want to hide. And when I felt well enough to actually take care of myself it would be without him.That’s a super cute story. I thought I’d ask because a close friend of mine bf told her he wasn’t sexually attracted to her anymore because she let herself “go.” In a way I respect his honesty but in another way I see it as being mean and rude. I thought that would light her fire to make her start working out with me but it only made things worse. 😞
Just curious on this - yeah it’s f’d up thing to say - so in Lieu of saying it - if that’s how he’s truly feeling, should he just break it off ?? But then what if she ask why - should he be brutally honest or just make something up? To spare hard feelings “it’s not you it’s me” thing
If he’s feeling this way then he prolly truly doesn’t love her anyway right - cause if you love someone you take the good and bad right ? Or what we perceive as bad - not all perceive being overweight as bad ..
Anyway - I find this topic interesting- where’s @1sphere - what are your thoughts homie
Depends on the nature of the relationship I guess.0 -
I always wondered how men/women encouraged their significant other to eat healthy and workout... it’s rare that you see a couple where one is fit and the other is not ...
Not true at all, I see plenty of mismatched physically shaped couples in life in general.That’s a super cute story. I thought I’d ask because a close friend of mine bf told her he wasn’t sexually attracted to her anymore because she let herself “go.” In a way I respect his honesty but in another way I see it as being mean and rude. I thought that would light her fire to make her start working out with me but it only made things worse. 😞
Nothing mean about being upfront and honest. I've been in this position before on both sides. The relationship is dead, they need to part ways.
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How do you nicely tell your partner to lose weight?
I dont think you can "nicely" "tell" someone to lose weight, or many other physical critiques (get a nose/boob etc job, gain weight, fix your teeth, change your hair, whatever)I always wondered how men/women encouraged their significant other to eat healthy and workout... it’s rare that you see a couple where one is fit and the other is not ...
I think it can be encouraging to lead by example. When I see anybody make good choices or achieve nice results it encourages me to try harder.4 -
It's a touchy subject and hard to approach in a nice way; just try and be as tactful as possible if it truly is a concern for the others health. There are always various reasons but it's sad when people only focus on the superficial aspects.
I have been trying to get my bf on the bandwagon for awhile due to health concerns (type 1 diabetes & high blood pressure) but it is completely up to them to make the change. Takes a toll in regards to seeing them not taking any initiative for their health.1 -
You don't. You tell him/her that you care about them & remind them having an annual physical is important.2
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Thank you for all the feedback. I am actually screenshotting these comments and sending them to her because EVERYONE has said the one key thing I’ve believed for so long ... HE DOESN’T LOVE HER! Keep the opinions coming 🙌🏾2
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