not feeling comfortable in public

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Replies

  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    edited July 2019
    alohajls wrote: »
    Here's what I did when I weighed 300+ pounds: I walked in cemeteries.

    Cemeteries are usually empty of people (the living ones), pretty and well landscaped, have paved paths and serve as a great reminder that life is short and the walk is good for you. I was lucky and my cemetery was a beautiful, small, 19th century example with lovely headstones, monuments and rolling hills.

    I first did this because I lived in a pretty rural location and was profoundly self conscious--I didn't want anyone to see me. I literally drove about 1/4 mile to get to the cemetery at 6am when I was sure no one would be there, then walked for a short while and drove home. I usually just wore a casual dress as I had never been to a gym and did not own proper workout clothes.

    I have lost some weight (100 pounds with more to go), and I'm still not a fan of athletic pursuits, but it does get a bit easier if you keep doing it. And I have definitely reached the point where I assume no one notices me in the first place, and if they do, I don't care at all what they think! When someone yells "FATASS!' out their window at me, I get to gloat and know that I can lose weight, but they will always be stupid.

    When I was walking my neighbor's little dog, we went to the cemetery, because she didn't like running into other dogs and there weren't any there. No people either.

    Cemeteries are interesting.
  • thanos5
    thanos5 Posts: 513 Member
    lauragreenbaum wrote: »
    Honestly, when I see someone overweight out walking or jogging my thought is always "Good for him/her! They are taking care of themselves!" I doubt people spend a lot of time thinking about other people they don't know, but if they do it's not always negative.

    this post is so full of awesome.

    i'm the same way. i'm like...you go girl/boy! i don't really care what people think, but i find it hard to believe they (most) would look unkindly upon someone trying to improve.
  • peggy_polenta
    peggy_polenta Posts: 325 Member
    that no one cares what you look like is besides the point if you don't feel the confidence within...why not try building your confidence by walking early morning or night time when less people are around? or around a track at the highschool? or a nature trail that is not heavily populated. I work out at the gym (again, where no one cares what you look like) but i also walk the trail behind my house. its not very populated. i do that trail because i like to put my headphones on and i know when i start rocking, it looks like i am George Jefferson, kinda walking, kinda running, kinda strutting kinda dancing, kinda skipping...and i'm sure i look ridiculous and people can either be - hey look at her go, she looks like she is having fun! or look at that freak. i could care less either way.
  • JohnnytotheB
    JohnnytotheB Posts: 361 Member
    I believe that people are not looking at you. Most people are more concerned about what is happening with themselves like driving, family, job, texting, whatever the case. Forge your own path without thinking about what others may or may not be thinking. Once you get started, you will rock.
  • LouVee186000
    LouVee186000 Posts: 81 Member
    nasr25 wrote: »
    I really wanna start walking outside and i just feel like everyone is looking at me. I seriously lost all confidence i wasn't like this a few years ago but again i wasn't this big either. When I took a walk today my shirt was flying all over the place and I felt ashamed cause what was underneath wasn't all that pretty lol. How in the world do people do this. Is it just me or is there anyone that can relate? I am sure there is so tell me how you guys deal with it.

    I think what you are recognizing and what others are alluding to is that what we are doing here takes courage. It takes courage to push through the self consciousness. It takes courage to make the necessary life changes to achieve even small victories. But it's all easier with others who are also finding their courage.

    Every time you go out, even after just one step, tell yourself that you have won: you were brave enough to get started. And you get another Win when you finish for the day.

    I applaud your courage!





  • theobaldpw
    theobaldpw Posts: 8 Member
    When ever I see bigger people exersizing I think, "Respect, I know how hard that is, keep going keep it up."
  • whmscll
    whmscll Posts: 2,255 Member
    lauragreenbaum wrote: »
    Honestly, when I see someone overweight out walking or jogging my thought is always "Good for him/her! They are taking care of themselves!" I doubt people spend a lot of time thinking about other people they don't know, but if they do it's not always negative.

    This is always what I think. I find myself silently cheering for them.
  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 7,745 Member
    springlering62 wrote: »
    Two things, kinda OT:
    Macy’s has high quality workout clothes in 1X and up at a very reasonable price. They were pretty colors and fashionable styles.

    And a cemetery walking story. I have a very gentle but very territorial dog who is compelled to mark something every few steps. When we took our first walk in the cemetery, he automatically began to hike his leg towards a monument before I could yank him back. (He’s not allowed to mark hydrants, flowerbeds, on sidewalks or, obviously, tombstones,)

    Before I could, he got the funniest look on his face, like he’d seen something. He put his leg down, his hackles raised, and he slowly backed away from the tombstone. He never ever lifted his leg inside those gates again. I never even had to warn him, even though it was a good 3/4 miles around it. But lemme tell ya, as soon as he’d get outside the iron gates he would be dancing and gasping, frantic for the opportunity to mark something.

    He saw the ghost of a dog catcher, didn't he?!
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    I stopped by a "walking park" this morning to check it out. A fair portion of it was alongside a very busy road. So a bunch of people got to see a big guy in clothes that don't quite fit anymore walking. I thought of this thread and wondered how many people were cheering me on... probably not many because they were commuting to work with other things on their mind.

  • samhennings
    samhennings Posts: 441 Member
    Brilliant! Well done!

  • fitoverfortymom
    fitoverfortymom Posts: 3,452 Member
    I remember feeling that way when I first started at 256lbs. I would go for walks every day at lunch and I always felt awkward and not worthy. I also felt like what I was doing was necessary, so I put on some headphones and good music or podcast and went about my business. I did invest in clothes that fit properly, even though (by my standards) they were huge, and that helped. Also some good walking shoes that showed that I meant business.

    I still get imposter syndrome from time to time, even though I am a normal weight now. We really have to retrain our brains to believe we are worthy.

    You are worth every bit of effort you are putting in to improve your life, so find what works and keep going. Little changes will turn into big results over time if you stick with it.
  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 7,745 Member
    nasr25 wrote: »
    Third day of walking today and its the first day where i really got into it and did not pay attention to those thoughts. I walked the most so far 70 minutes which is a lot for me at once. I was listening to an audio book The Outsider by Stephen king. It was a good day i really wanna go out again its only been a few hours but it was really fun but i cant cause its too hot.

    Yay!!!!!!! Really proud of you. :)
  • nasr25
    nasr25 Posts: 214 Member
    glassyo wrote: »
    nasr25 wrote: »
    Third day of walking today and its the first day where i really got into it and did not pay attention to those thoughts. I walked the most so far 70 minutes which is a lot for me at once. I was listening to an audio book The Outsider by Stephen king. It was a good day i really wanna go out again its only been a few hours but it was really fun but i cant cause its too hot.

    Yay!!!!!!! Really proud of you. :)

    Thank you .

  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,463 Member
    It’s highly unlikely anyone is watching you. If they see you, they will be impressed that you’re walking to benefit yourself, because they’re just sitting on the couch looking out the window.
  • leeleebee88
    leeleebee88 Posts: 1 Member
    I hated biking in public. I felt like I was too big for the bike and I just felt as though people were watching me.. I decided in wed essay I was going to try out my husband's exercycle that he never uses.. I am so proud I managed 20klms on wednesday, 10klms on thursday, 20klms on friday and saturday.. I love it cz I can do it in the comfort of home and not.have to worry wether people are watching or not.. I am starting to feel better. Who knows maybe when I am feeling me comfortable in my body I will go outside and bike again.
  • lg013
    lg013 Posts: 215 Member
    First, I’ll say I have never looked at anyone getting out there and being active and judged their weight or looked down on their appearance. Doesn’t even cross my mind....I might think, man, I need to get to the gym today too, but that’s about it. I’m always proud of my fellow comrades fighting the daily fight and getting out there to stay fit—regardless of their fitness level or starting point. No matter our size, we are all in this together and doing it. Be proud of that.

    We all know it’s very easy to gain weight over time and very hard to start exercise and even harder to lose weight—most people have had this experience and can relate.

    If it makes you feel better—the one place I sweat like crazy is my crotch—I always look like I peed myself at the gym! I could be embarrassed by it—or I could be proud at my hard work that day. I choose to be proud of that sweat.

    If anyone is judging you, it not you, it’s them...they judging you Bc they aren’t out there getting steps in or doing whatever they can to get healthy and make a lifestyle change—and that’s comes from a place of envy and cowardice.

    I will agree with a fellow poster—get some decent work out clothes that you feel good in...when I suit up in my gear I feel powerful, confident, and motivated...so it really helps (plus they are designed to help prevent injury, chafing, wick sweat, and not fly up to expose your body.

    I’m really proud of you for getting out there today—even though it was scary and intimidating. That’s not easy to work through and you did it anyway (I have to make my boyfriend come with me to the gym for new workouts Bc I’m so terrified of embarrassing myself—so I don’t have the courage you do). I can’t wait for you to happily start see the results of your bravery and strength!
  • ogtmama
    ogtmama Posts: 1,403 Member
    One of my favourite quotes is "I stopped caring so much what other people thought of me when I realized how rarely they do". Most people are too consumed with their own insecurities to bother with yours...even if they do comment, nine times out of ten they are really talking about their own issues
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    nasr25 wrote: »
    You guys were not lying about feeling better in public I really enjoy it now and ive met a few people. I actually also seen my doctor the other day in the neighborhood and he said he would really love to start doing what i was doing cause he has noticed ive been walking everyday ( i didn't know he lived so close to me lol ). I went in to the office for a check up not too long after that and i was down 13 pounds of course some of that was water weight but still good feeling. I want to start riding a bike. I have an old one but i want a new one that can support my large body lol also i would like a bike that i can carry food comfortably any suggestions?

    You are doing so well.. great job 👍

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