Cat calls while working out

BasedGawd412 wrote: »

maureenseel1984 wrote: »

So I decided to go for a walk this morning while I had my coffee. It's miserably hot here in Baltimore city so I decided to wear my sports bra and shorts. This is saying a lot given that I felt very self-conscious/had body image today after indulgent day with my husband yesterday.
So as I'm walking and enjoying being outside when some guy on a bike (50's-60's) whistles at me and shouts something I didn't quite catch.

Now I'm left feeling more self conscious and kind of gross. Should I have been flattered? I just feel a touch ashamed and like I should go cover up.

I'm deeply disappointed and bothered that you and everyone else in this thread who jumped on the bandwagon to demonize this man when you clearly stated you had absolutely no idea what he was shouting at you. Being that you do not know what this man shouted, this was a non-issue.

He very well may have been whistling to grab your attention to shout "Hey watch out for the dog *kitten*", "loose dog", "pot hole", "theirs a wasp near you" or something of the nature but you chose to automatically assume he was cat calling you which is pretty narcissistic.

I'm well aware that leering and cat calling is problem for women but I'm also not ignorant enough to make gross assumptions when I'm presented without clear cut facts. Over the years I've witnessed women full of themselves ignoring men because they assumed the man was approaching them when in fact the man was just alerting them to something, like the woman walking around with toilet tissue hanging off her azz.

LOL for real??? This is the epidemy of "I'm not a mysoginist but..."

BasedGawd412 wrote: »

maureenseel1984 wrote: »

So I decided to go for a walk this morning while I had my coffee. It's miserably hot here in Baltimore city so I decided to wear my sports bra and shorts. This is saying a lot given that I felt very self-conscious/had body image today after indulgent day with my husband yesterday.
So as I'm walking and enjoying being outside when some guy on a bike (50's-60's) whistles at me and shouts something I didn't quite catch.

Now I'm left feeling more self conscious and kind of gross. Should I have been flattered? I just feel a touch ashamed and like I should go cover up.

I'm deeply disappointed and bothered that you and everyone else in this thread who jumped on the bandwagon to demonize this man when you clearly stated you had absolutely no idea what he was shouting at you. Being that you do not know what this man shouted, this was a non-issue.

He very well may have been whistling to grab your attention to shout "Hey watch out for the dog *kitten*", "loose dog", "pot hole", "theirs a wasp near you" or something of the nature but you chose to automatically assume he was cat calling you which is pretty narcissistic.

I'm well aware that leering and cat calling is problem for women but I'm also not ignorant enough to make gross assumptions when I'm presented without clear cut facts. Over the years I've witnessed women full of themselves ignoring men because they assumed the man was approaching them when in fact the man was just alerting them to something, like the woman walking around with toilet tissue hanging off her azz.

FYI slamming people for making gross assumptions while you are making gross assumptions isn't going to end well for you lol.

I knew this post would escalate!

Anyhoo, OP, sorry you felt like *kitten* due to some dude. It's hard to feel confident in little clothing when the society we are in dictates what is acceptable or not.

Random tangent - I live in Australia - here, I am very self conscious and rarely wear just my crop to the gym or wear crops out in public because I feel like everyone has this image that to be in a crop you must be like one of those young Instafit models and i'm a 43yo lady with no six pack. On the beach however, I have always, even when fat, worn a tiny bikini and don't give a *kitten* because beach.

However, when I am on holiday in Brazil (where originally from), I wear short shorts and crop tops and go to the gym in crops and don't give a *kitten* because over there women of all sizes and shapes wear this stuff out in public and no one cares. So I feel "safe" wearing it too.

As for the cat calling, for me personally, after being fat and invisible for many years, if someone cat calls me I embrace it and it makes my *kitten* day that I am no longer a fat invisible old lady lump. Like massive grin and spring in my step for the rest of the day.

But, everyone is different and how they deal with attention is different. That's just my 2c.

I'll add that absolutely nobody suggested doing anything at all to men who catcall. We wrote about how much we hate it, and how men who do it are jerks, and how we should have the right to dress as we want without being pestered. Taking that as an attack on men is ridiculous.

Phirrgus wrote: »

BasedGawd412 wrote: »

MikePTY wrote: »

LOL for real??? This is the epidemy of "I'm not a mysoginist but..."

glovepuppet wrote: »

Because the foolish womenz don't know what different tones of voice or body language are expressing, and people always use wolf whistles to warn of danger.

Phirrgus wrote: »

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FYI slamming people for making gross assumptions while you are making gross assumptions isn't going to end well for you lol.

I fail to see the humor. Emmitt Till was brutally murdered over supposedly whistling over a woman. Emmitt Till's mother taught him how to whistle to help him enunciate his words. That very same woman who accused Emmitt Till of accosting her said she fabricated her story and couldn't even remember what he said to her.

You can sit here and make all your sly slick remarks but the fact remains as OP clearly said "he shouts something I did not catch"

[edited by MFP mods]

Conflating a horrendous, racially motivated murder (because that's all it was) with men who treat women with anything less than the dignity one ought to accord another human being....

My area is becoming increasingly unsafe for women alone in public. Multiple cases of flashing, harassment, groping up to and including actual rape and in every case there were witnesses or security footage.

I'm quite comfortable in affording the OP the benefit of the doubt in that she is quite likely able to determine the difference between someone trying to be helpful and someone being lewd.

As glovepuppet pointed out, no one is calling for prosecution/pain/dismemberment or hellfire to be called down upon this guy, but there needs to be a clear recognition that women have every single right to the same expectations of safety and fair hearing that any man would have. Why? Because blaming the woman for the unacceptable actions of the man leaves us about one foot step away from nations that prosecute and punish women for the crime of being raped and beaten.

I'm still siding 100% with the OP here.

Thanks, well stated.

Women can’t work out at night or in certain areas and feel safe. In Colombia, a few years ago, they actually hosted a night where they asked men to stay in and filled the streets with female officers so women could have one night to feel safe. Many of the women on this eve decided to work out. Just to put in perspective that cat calling makes us feel unsafe when trying to work out outside.

I understand that a racially motivated murder about a man who did not suggestively approach a woman is an extremely sensitive topic...and that black people and minorities have even more fear in public spaces and at night. Of course, this could warrant an entire discussion and a ton of work of privileged white people to make a safer environment, but I think we were venting about how unsafe and insecure cat calling can make women feel in public spaces, not turning this to an attack on all men. But, I can understand how the mention of whistling could flare up extreme feelings about what happened to Mr. Till—I see where you are coming from and I’m very sad and angry that happened too.

Runner's World did an article about a year ago called 'Running while Female' - about the hazards of women when they run/walk outside. It's scary, it's horrible - and it's very real. Women get harassed, both verbally and physically. A woman running in DC was murdered last summer by a stalker. I run in my neighborhood - always in well populated areas. How nice it must feel to be a guy and not have to worry about this - it's a constant worry/fear for women.....and it sucks......

maureenseel1984 wrote: »

I think that we also need to give me A LITTLE credit here. I'm not some dumb person who can't tell the difference between a cat call and someone genuinely being thoughtful. Might I add this creeper was WHITE...?! Implying I'm racist and/or violent because a dirty old man whistled at me SUGGESTIVELY while I was trying to enjoy my walk? Not. Ok.

A little credit? How about all the credit?

You endured an indecent bit of behavior, you called it out and were honest about your feelings, and you did it all in a very mature manner. Props to you, seriously.

You keep doing what you're doing for a healthy and safe (and hopefully very content) life. There will always be those who will try to get under your skin. You don't have to let them.

Some folks might argue this, but I truly believe there are still an awful lot of good men and women in this world, of all persuasions. Stick with them.