Cat calls while working out
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Well we'll all agree to disagree...I guess?! I see your points and all are valid...I respect your rights to your opinions...but I will stand and fight my corner as well as defend yours if called upon to do so (because for the record I am NOT stripping anyone of available avenues of support!)...because I fail to understand what has changed so much in this world to make people seemingly so unaware of the abundance of kind and good natured people that walk it, who interact with friends and strangers alike just exchanging pleasantries and acknowledging their existence...the Weinstein's, Fritzels and Bronsons of this world are horrifying people...but they shouldn't be the benchmark by which EVERYONE ELSE is judged...and it seems to be going that way?!?
A friendly natured "anything" (a 'hello', 'good-morning', wink, etc.) in passing is NOT an incitement to harrassment...it's just a polite exchange between one happy functioning human being to another...plain and simple...no underlying context...no underlying sexual advances...just a standard basic communication principle that is apparently being lost because technology and one's own self-importance (a comment NOT directed at the OP, but a general observation!) is more important than the needs of the species as a whole...19 -
I don't recall any woman in this thread complaining about people saying hello. The OP said she was wolf whistled, which is not a smile and a good morning. You're implying that, by injecting to objectification, that bullying women are repressing innocent men.
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I've rambled on there...but the bottom line is this...a cat-call from a man or a woman (it happens!) is not always directly perverted...sometimes it's just what it is meant to be...an appreciation of the form of the male/female...and the OP's original post stated she did not know what was shouted...so it may have been an innocent call of flattery...but she didn't hear it so instantly assumed it was derogatory...we'll never truly know whether it was sexual harrassment or just an older fella admiring her...
How do you not see this is all one in the same? Unsolicited "appreciation" of someone's form is a textbook definition of sexual harassment. Unless someone has invited you to comment on their figure, don't. This is not that hard.especially when that reality is "Love Island"...seeing as we're talking about the blurred lines of acceptability...what is acceptable about that show?! A bunch of people hooking up and cheating on each other to be the winning couple for your entertainment?! Not for me thanks!
I've rambled on there...but the bottom line is this...a cat-call from a man or a woman (it happens!) is not always directly perverted...sometimes it's just what it is meant to be...an appreciation of the form of the male/female...and the OP's original post stated she did not know what was shouted...so it may have been an innocent call of flattery...but she didn't hear it so instantly assumed it was derogatory...we'll never truly know whether it was sexual harrassment or just an older fella admiring her...because clearly people don't like talking to other people unless it's behind the facade of a forum or chat room these days...and whilst they dispise so-called "unwanted" attention they'll happily watch a group of people getting together, arguing and cheating on each other for fun...that to me is a sad state of affairs!
What does this have to do with anythinggggg???? Whether or not people like entertainment that you don't like and may be questionable in quality has nothing at allll to do with strangers not harassing people they don't know in public.
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OK...I expected a bit of backlash...but I'm strong enough to take it...because I'm not a precious little woolen lump...but just so I understand your diatribe...cat-calling a person in the flesh is bad...but posting in threads like those screengrabbed below is acceptable yes?!
I took that grab from this very forum displayed on page 1 of the 'Recent Discussions' and all but the 'crush' thread have thousands of replies...presumably from people registered here saying they would kiss (there are two separate 'kiss' threads!) or flirt with the person posting above...there are many similar threads on this forum...so tell me again what is acceptable behavior...
If you have no problem with those threads...then I'd say your worldview is pretty funked up! Because to me they are basically entry-level harrassment posts...
Now I have never been raped, or harrassed...but I do understand those that have experienced the horrors of unwanted attention/abuse may have deep seated issues...and I am truly sorry for whatever happened to you in your life that has made you so protective of your feelings...I do not condone in ANY WAY harrassment or abuse! But let's just take a breath and realise that in general people are not all rapists, murderers or even bad people...we're all just balls of flesh trying to get on in this world and yes there are *kitten* that take advantage of things to do horrible stuff...and specifically in relation to this thread that guy may have been a straight out pervert...I accept that...and if you are made to feel uncomfortable, then you are entitled to your opinion...but come on...where do we draw the line...
Those threads and people who "swipe left" as you said... Are WILLING PARTICIPANTS. I was someone taking a morning walk.
PS: "strong enough" to insult people because they don't agree with you? Doesn't strike me so much as strong as it does stubborn... And unable to see another individual's perspective... Especially seeing (as you said) you've never been subject to harassment....9 -
Well we'll all agree to disagree...I guess?! I see your points and all are valid...I respect your rights to your opinions...but I will stand and fight my corner as well as defend yours if called upon to do so (because for the record I am NOT stripping anyone of available avenues of support!)...because I fail to understand what has changed so much in this world to make people seemingly so unaware of the abundance of kind and good natured people that walk it, who interact with friends and strangers alike just exchanging pleasantries and acknowledging their existence...the Weinstein's, Fritzels and Bronsons of this world are horrifying people...but they shouldn't be the benchmark by which EVERYONE ELSE is judged...and it seems to be going that way?!?
A friendly natured "anything" (a 'hello', 'good-morning', wink, etc.) in passing is NOT an incitement to harrassment...it's just a polite exchange between one happy functioning human being to another...plain and simple...no underlying context...no underlying sexual advances...just a standard basic communication principle that is apparently being lost because technology and one's own self-importance (a comment NOT directed at the OP, but a general observation!) is more important than the needs of the species as a whole...
A cat call is not the same as a "hi." when i run i appreciate a "good morning." i do not appreciate a whistle. one acknowledges me as a person. one objectifies me.
those threads are consensual participants. and it really shouldn't be that hard to understand the difference.
if i'm running in shorts and a crop, no matter the reason, i do not deserve to be cat called. if i'm wearing a potato sack, i do no deserve to be cat called.10 -
If you weren't flattered, you weren't flattered. Period. I know some people enjoy that, but if you don't, you don't. Respect your own feelings. Catcalling is more about the person doing it than the person on the receiving end of it. The catcaller doesn't care whether or not you like it. It's about them making their feelings and sexuality known, and to hell with how it makes you feel. That doesn't make for a good person to me. I'm not letting that kind of person get to me.
Unless a person has been keeping themselves sheltered, they would know that women aren't taking much crap anymore, and much fewer women are taking random shoutouts as compliments. I do notice it seems to be older men more so than younger men doing it nowadays. Sad that they can't get with the times. It's throwback behavior that needs to go extinct along with a lot of other behaviors that were tolerated in the past.5 -
Tacklewasher wrote: »
This should probably be used as the best practice for anyone so out of touch that they don't know where they are crossing that line.maureenseel1984 wrote: »
Women do it too-whether it is more or less frequently. It doesn't matter. Why can't we just look at each other and see people and...treat them as such?
Unfortunately too many people will quest for power in any way they can. Maybe the old dude on the bike hoped it would be taken more as a compliment, or maybe he just hoped it would get into your head. People are idiots on so many levels these days, it's hard to tell sometimes. I think some of them try to be idiots, and others just are idiots and don't realize it.
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A cat call is not the same as a "hi." when i run i appreciate a "good morning." i do not appreciate a whistle. one acknowledges me as a person. one objectifies me.
I have to admit that I often won't even say Hi to a single woman out running unless I recognize her. I often run alone and don't want to come off as a creeper. If I'm running with my wife, I'm a bit friendlier.5 -
jiujitsudad15118 wrote: »You guys wont like my response so Ill refrain
But you didn't.10 -
My husband is the same (not running, but in other social situations). Last night he complimented our waitress on her friendly demeanor. After she left her said he likes it when I'm with him because he can say things like that without it seeming creepy. As a big, scruffy, somewhat imposing-looking guy, he's aware and sensitive to how his words and actions might make another person feel, regardless of their good intent.Tacklewasher wrote: »A cat call is not the same as a "hi." when i run i appreciate a "good morning." i do not appreciate a whistle. one acknowledges me as a person. one objectifies me.
I have to admit that I often won't even say Hi to a single woman out running unless I recognize her. I often run alone and don't want to come off as a creeper. If I'm running with my wife, I'm a bit friendlier.3 -
Tacklewasher wrote: »A cat call is not the same as a "hi." when i run i appreciate a "good morning." i do not appreciate a whistle. one acknowledges me as a person. one objectifies me.
I have to admit that I often won't even say Hi to a single woman out running unless I recognize her. I often run alone and don't want to come off as a creeper. If I'm running with my wife, I'm a bit friendlier.
tbh, most runners in my area are just head nodders. no creepiness there
i appreciate the "morning" or a nod because that means they saw me. be it an assault of some sort, or i trip and bonk my head, someone can say i saw her on my run about this time at this location. and it's sorta the runner's "namaste"-the runner in me recognizes the runner in you5 -
My husband is the same (not running, but in other social situations). Last night he complimented our waitress on her friendly demeanor. After she left her said he likes it when I'm with him because he can say things like that without it seeming creepy. As a big, scruffy, somewhat imposing-looking guy, he's aware and sensitive to how his words and actions might make another person feel, regardless of their good intent.Tacklewasher wrote: »A cat call is not the same as a "hi." when i run i appreciate a "good morning." i do not appreciate a whistle. one acknowledges me as a person. one objectifies me.
I have to admit that I often won't even say Hi to a single woman out running unless I recognize her. I often run alone and don't want to come off as a creeper. If I'm running with my wife, I'm a bit friendlier.
This. The world needs more of it.3 -
My husband is the same (not running, but in other social situations). Last night he complimented our waitress on her friendly demeanor. After she left her said he likes it when I'm with him because he can say things like that without it seeming creepy. As a big, scruffy, somewhat imposing-looking guy, he's aware and sensitive to how his words and actions might make another person feel, regardless of their good intent.Tacklewasher wrote: »A cat call is not the same as a "hi." when i run i appreciate a "good morning." i do not appreciate a whistle. one acknowledges me as a person. one objectifies me.
I have to admit that I often won't even say Hi to a single woman out running unless I recognize her. I often run alone and don't want to come off as a creeper. If I'm running with my wife, I'm a bit friendlier.
This. The world needs more of it.
He's pretty ok
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I'll even take a good morning! I get them from homeless people, from old people, from middle aged and young...I am all about being friendly.
What he did wasn't friendly, it was sexual...and made me feel like an object not worthy of common sense or courtesy.10 -
My husband is the same (not running, but in other social situations). Last night he complimented our waitress on her friendly demeanor. After she left her said he likes it when I'm with him because he can say things like that without it seeming creepy. As a big, scruffy, somewhat imposing-looking guy, he's aware and sensitive to how his words and actions might make another person feel, regardless of their good intent.Tacklewasher wrote: »A cat call is not the same as a "hi." when i run i appreciate a "good morning." i do not appreciate a whistle. one acknowledges me as a person. one objectifies me.
I have to admit that I often won't even say Hi to a single woman out running unless I recognize her. I often run alone and don't want to come off as a creeper. If I'm running with my wife, I'm a bit friendlier.
This. The world needs more of it.
He's pretty ok
Except for his choice in women...... 5 -
I don't think there is any one way "right" way to feel about this. If you were flattered, then you were. If you were grossed about by it, then you were. If it made you feel anything, then it is valid feeling. No one can tell you what you should feel about this situation.
You might get less attention if you cover up but you really are allowed to wear what you like and you are comfortable in. People can be jerks and cross boundaries for sure no matter what you are wearing.
I'd be flattered but I know that's not a popular opinion and by no means how you should feel.3 -
Tacklewasher wrote: »
My husband is the same (not running, but in other social situations). Last night he complimented our waitress on her friendly demeanor. After she left her said he likes it when I'm with him because he can say things like that without it seeming creepy. As a big, scruffy, somewhat imposing-looking guy, he's aware and sensitive to how his words and actions might make another person feel, regardless of their good intent.Tacklewasher wrote: »A cat call is not the same as a "hi." when i run i appreciate a "good morning." i do not appreciate a whistle. one acknowledges me as a person. one objectifies me.
I have to admit that I often won't even say Hi to a single woman out running unless I recognize her. I often run alone and don't want to come off as a creeper. If I'm running with my wife, I'm a bit friendlier.
This. The world needs more of it.
He's pretty ok
Except for his choice in women......
He only had to choose right once
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I don't think there is any one way "right" way to feel about this. If you were flattered, then you were. If you were grossed about by it, then you were. If it made you feel anything, then it is valid feeling. No one can tell you what you should feel about this situation.
You might get less attention if you cover up but you really are allowed to wear what you like and you are comfortable in. People can be jerks and cross boundaries for sure no matter what you are wearing.
I'd be flattered but I know that's not a popular opinion and by no means how you should feel.
This...and that's my final word too...
Seeing as this community is clearly as toxic as others I have experienced recently on the internets...given that most of you are all unwilling to accept an open opinion...I think I'll just stick to the food and exercise logging portion of this site...so I'll leave you to it...13 -
I don't think there is any one way "right" way to feel about this. If you were flattered, then you were. If you were grossed about by it, then you were. If it made you feel anything, then it is valid feeling. No one can tell you what you should feel about this situation.
You might get less attention if you cover up but you really are allowed to wear what you like and you are comfortable in. People can be jerks and cross boundaries for sure no matter what you are wearing.
I'd be flattered but I know that's not a popular opinion and by no means how you should feel.
This...and that's my final word too...
Seeing as this community is clearly as toxic as others I have experienced recently on the internets...given that most of you are all unwilling to accept an open opinion...I think I'll just stick to the food and exercise logging portion of this site...so I'll leave you to it...
Not seeing anything toxic here, just honest, open, much-needed discussion about a sensitive topic.
We accept your right to a differing opinion, but most of us (especially the women here) just don't agree with what yours happens to be. That's not toxic, that's honest. And if you are unwilling or unable to further discuss this in good faith and perhaps learn more about how these actions negatively affect most women, avoiding threads like these are likely your best option.17 -
snickerscharlie wrote: »I don't think there is any one way "right" way to feel about this. If you were flattered, then you were. If you were grossed about by it, then you were. If it made you feel anything, then it is valid feeling. No one can tell you what you should feel about this situation.
You might get less attention if you cover up but you really are allowed to wear what you like and you are comfortable in. People can be jerks and cross boundaries for sure no matter what you are wearing.
I'd be flattered but I know that's not a popular opinion and by no means how you should feel.
This...and that's my final word too...
Seeing as this community is clearly as toxic as others I have experienced recently on the internets...given that most of you are all unwilling to accept an open opinion...I think I'll just stick to the food and exercise logging portion of this site...so I'll leave you to it...
Not seeing anything toxic here, just honest, open, much-needed discussion about a sensitive topic.
We accept your right to a differing opinion, but most of us (especially the women here) just don't agree with what yours happens to be. That's not toxic, that's honest. And if you are unwilling or unable to further discuss this in good faith and perhaps learn more about how these actions negatively affect most women, avoiding threads like these are likely your best option.
^^This^^ and thank you.4
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