Ladies who've gone from "fat" to "fit," this question is for you.

Oh, wow. Where to start.

I’ve lost 75 since last September. My brain has yet to catch up. Sometimes-most the time- I see “old me” in the mirror. Like this morning my belly draped over my waistband. I never give myself credit that the waist size is about ten sizes less. My brain focuses on the negative too often.

But an hour before that I was in front of a reflective window at a class, and didn’t recognize the reflection. I was puzzled because I was the closest one to the glass, til I realized I was looking at myself. It catches me at the strangest times.

I’m very shy, I have a hard time looking people in the eye, however, the way I was brought up, you smile and acknowledge everyone you pass on the street. I do see the interest in some of the men’s eyes, but have a hard time recognizing that it’s meant for me. I can’t meet their eyes, and so I pretend I don’t see them. I always feel they must be looking at a person behind me or something, and if it’s even remotely possible it’s for me, it makes me knot up inside, because I don’t want to be noticed, yet I’m compelled to say, “hello” and smile sweetly. It’s nuts, and I can’t break the habit.

I have a fellow board member who has become very “hands on”. The next time he starts the hugging and I swear, everything short of the pinch test, non-confrontational me is going to blow a gasket. He thinks he’s complimenting me, but he just makes my flesh crawl.

My lovely trainer commented the other day how happy she was to see me looking in the mirror. She says I wouldn’t do it when I first started working with her. She’s right. I was terrified of the person in the mirror. Now I’m still not looking at “whole me”. I watch the muscles flex. I’m looking at parts, but at least I’m looking now. Whole Me still frightens Old Me.

However, on the flip side, I feel amazing. I am the marvel of my neighborhood. I swear there’s a couple of Gladys Crabapples taking notes on how often I walk to the gym. I can’t believe how everyone feels the need to comment on my workout regime.

I know if I want to go to the pool, I can hold my own up as well as any woman there, probably all of them. Now that I can, I just don’t care to go.

A young woman introduced herself to me at class this morning as a friend of my kids, and also as an instructor somewhere else. I - very deliberately- kept banging it out while she wilted, and that made me feel even better afterwards.

I’m more confident out and about. If someone’s looking at me, it’s not because I’m overweight. It’s probably because they want to look like me. I know. I used to look at the other trim ladies and wonder “what it would be like....”

Right now, life is like this strange mental DQ blizzard of ridiculous insecurities and gross overconfidence.

All of this is to say, no you are NOT alone, doll.

That is one bad *kitten* owl, btw.

I've gone from obese to fit, although technically I'm still 5 pounds from being a healthy weight.

I get a lot of comments from people about how much weight I've lost and how skinny I am now. Overall that is fine with me although sometimes a little embarrassing.

A new thing that is happening is that a lot of guys are talking to me and even randomly offering to buy me things. On one hand it is a bit flattering but on the other it's obviously only because of how I look which says what exactly about how I used to look?

I will add that my confidence is much better. When I was obese I always felt embarrassed about how I looked. Now I feel good about myself and I'm sure that changes the way everyone sees me.

I'm not used to any of this and not sure how long it will take until I adjust.

Congrats on your progress OP!

I lost 80 pounds 7+ years ago and have maintained since then. It took me about 2 years of maintenance to get completely used to my new body after being chubby/overweight most of my life.

I remember seeing my reflection in windows or in photos and not recognizing the person I was seeing. I still thought I was that bigger girl in my head.

Being more aware of my surroundings in general was one thing I had to get used to. One example - I love walking everyday on a track, trail, park or in my neighbourhood. I quickly found that I needed to switch up my locations and times that I go and keep an eye out on who was walking behind me. There were too many instances when some men learned my schedule and tried to bump into me to talk to me.

That's another thing, at times I miss blending in. Now random people talk to me and smile/stare at me, hold the door for me etc., but at the same time I do get a lot of random free things and work opportunities which never happened when I was obese.

In my experience I had no issues with possible self-sabotage. There were just too many pros and benefits to being fit and at a normal weight and I was enjoying it. In fact it made/makes want to keep working hard to stay in shape. This has just been my experience however.

My new thing is looking at women and (instead of coveting their figure) wondering how old they are. (I’m 57.) I find it fascinating that my age seem to be a “bridge” generation. Some have aged exceptionally well. Others of us look like they’ve aged like the previous generation. It’s a shock to be talking to someone who looks like a granny, and realizing they are my age.

I hope that makes sense. It’s like the threshold for “middle aged” and “senior” moved up for some, but not others in the Baby Boomers strata.

It seems to be tied to weight, but even more to activity level. The ones who are out there humping it, just look younger.

You know, the old saying was, “women dress for other women, not for men”. That is so true. I’ve had years of comparing myself to or admiring other women for one reason or another, whether for their figure, their clothes, their hair, their style, or whatever. I am so damn tired of it, but don’t think I’ll ever get over it. I’m just a people watcher. It’s just so endlessly interesting. Everyone is so uniquely and individually different.

I was hesitant in responding in this thread bc I'm not fit anymore but I went from fat to fit ish back to fat and I think not having a handle on the emotional things that comes with losing weight. Even at my biggest 350+, I was never ugly, I always made all efforts to look my best. Once I lost 100lbs I noticed more attention which when I was a teen I was thick but together and would get men who would stalk, or even had one get out of his car and walk to the bus stop I was on to compliment me. I have been sexually assaulted many times so I believe my unconscious reaction to it was to put the weight back on. I'm a darker-skinned black woman and for me, society doesn't see me favorable esp being bigger so it was a way to hide. Now in my 30's, I want the weight gone as it blocks me from dating and does cause harm health-wise. I know that once it's gone I will be out there in the open esp with my goals but this time I'm aware and can protect myself. Weight can protect you like a wall but it walls you in and keeps others out which means you lose both ways.