What’s the gym etiquette of asking for a spot?
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Phoenixsunflr
Posts: 78 Member
I keep to myself when I workout and I hate asking for help. Once in a while I ask for a spot from people who look like they know what they’re doing and they’re always kind enough to help me out and I always thank them afterwards. My question is once they give me a spot do I go back to ignoring them like I do every other day or do I acknowledge say hi and talk to them every time I see them? It’s a lot of effort for me because I’m already a socially awkward person and I’m super shy and probably come across as a snob. What do you guys do? Is it socially acceptable to just go back to your workout everyday without saying hi and making coversation. Thanks 🙏🏻
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Replies
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Smiling and nodding is probably enough, no need for small talk. Just make enough eye contact that it seems like you remember who the person is from the time they gave you a spot, instead of having forgotten them.
I have “resting snob face” too and a little effort to look pleasant, nod, and maybe wave goes a long way.6 -
I think you are fine to not say hi every time, unless it looks like they are trying to engage with you. The truth is they would probably think small talk all the time was tiring and would distract from their workout2
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Wait until the person is finished with a set. Tell him/her if you need assistance on lift off, # of reps you are aiming for, & give him/her some kind of verbal or visual cue if you want to push for 1 more rep. Usually a good idea to choose a regular/someone who lifts regularly. No big deal or need for social awkwardness; I get asked to spot someone plenty (usually bench press). Nod, smile, eye contact, wave, etc.
I think it goes without saying, but it should be an exercise that definitely requires spotting...don't make things awkward AF asking someone to spot you on say...bicep curls6 -
It doesn't matter. Ignore or talk. I prefer to train and not talk during training Though I find myself grunting good morning more than I use to when I walk in.1
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If you happen to make brief eye-contact, just give a nod up with the good ole loose right hand holding up the thumb and next two fingers. That is a good nod for anyone you know that you are just greeting and don't intend on talking to.1
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"it socially acceptable to just go back to your workout everyday without saying hi and making conversation" I don't think this should be "socially acceptable" under any circumstances. After a while, going to the same gym at the same time you will see the same people on a regular basis. How can you not, at least, offer a nod of acknowledgment to someone you see regularly? Nod, say hi, try a short conversation, you just might become friends, at the least you'll become acquaintances. Of course, if after that nod, you get no favorable response, don't be a creep.9
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Each gym seems to have its own culture. The last one I belonged to had a pretty regular group of 6AM users and being a smallish town the norm was to spot for each other and exchange "good mornings" (it's also the norm when I'm out for a morning run to acknowledge other runners and dog walkers etc - it's a friendly little place)
Most people are there to work out and probably don't expect to engage in chit chat but common courtesy requires at least a nod & a smile or a quick good morning.2 -
I hate this thinking. People have lots of reasons for choosing not to, or being unable to engage. If it's somewhere you go for solo activities, they have no reason to feel obligated to."it socially acceptable to just go back to your workout everyday without saying hi and making conversation" I don't think this should be "socially acceptable" under any circumstances. After a while, going to the same gym at the same time you will see the same people on a regular basis. How can you not, at least, offer a nod of acknowledgment to someone you see regularly? Nod, say hi, try a short conversation, you just might become friends, at the least you'll become acquaintances. Of course, if after that nod, you get no favorable response, don't be a creep.
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Keto_Vampire wrote: »I think it goes without saying, but it should be an exercise that definitely requires spotting...don't make things awkward AF asking someone to spot you on say...bicep curls
But the seated cable row machine is ok, right? Don't tell me I've been doing it wrong.0 -
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glovepuppet wrote: »
I hate this thinking. People have lots of reasons for choosing not to, or being unable to engage. If it's somewhere you go for solo activities, they have no reason to feel obligated to."it socially acceptable to just go back to your workout everyday without saying hi and making conversation" I don't think this should be "socially acceptable" under any circumstances. After a while, going to the same gym at the same time you will see the same people on a regular basis. How can you not, at least, offer a nod of acknowledgment to someone you see regularly? Nod, say hi, try a short conversation, you just might become friends, at the least you'll become acquaintances. Of course, if after that nod, you get no favorable response, don't be a creep.
if after that nod, you get no favorable response, don't be a creep.0 -
glovepuppet wrote: »
I hate this thinking. People have lots of reasons for choosing not to, or being unable to engage. If it's somewhere you go for solo activities, they have no reason to feel obligated to."it socially acceptable to just go back to your workout everyday without saying hi and making conversation" I don't think this should be "socially acceptable" under any circumstances. After a while, going to the same gym at the same time you will see the same people on a regular basis. How can you not, at least, offer a nod of acknowledgment to someone you see regularly? Nod, say hi, try a short conversation, you just might become friends, at the least you'll become acquaintances. Of course, if after that nod, you get no favorable response, don't be a creep.
if after that nod, you get no favorable response, don't be a creep.
I'm objecting to the part I bolded, where you imply there's something wrong with not, at least, offering a nod.0 -
glovepuppet wrote: »glovepuppet wrote: »
I hate this thinking. People have lots of reasons for choosing not to, or being unable to engage. If it's somewhere you go for solo activities, they have no reason to feel obligated to."it socially acceptable to just go back to your workout everyday without saying hi and making conversation" I don't think this should be "socially acceptable" under any circumstances. After a while, going to the same gym at the same time you will see the same people on a regular basis. How can you not, at least, offer a nod of acknowledgment to someone you see regularly? Nod, say hi, try a short conversation, you just might become friends, at the least you'll become acquaintances. Of course, if after that nod, you get no favorable response, don't be a creep.
if after that nod, you get no favorable response, don't be a creep.
I'm objecting to the part I bolded, where you imply there's something wrong with not, at least, offering a nod.
There is. I don't think I implied it, but came right out and said it. We are a social being. One of the problems with the world is all of us not recognizing that fact and becoming more and more separated from each other. No feeling of togetherness, no sense of community, no bond, no mutual aid, assistance or support. Loners are under no obligation to join in society, but I feel we are all obligated to at least try and get together to get along . If a nod offends you, don't respond; you'll be left alone. Ignore your fellow gym members, ignore your neighbors, ignore all other members of the society in which you live; I maintain that that is wrong.
So again, if a nod, or friendly greeting, offends you, don't respond; you'll be left alone.6 -
glovepuppet wrote: »glovepuppet wrote: »
I hate this thinking. People have lots of reasons for choosing not to, or being unable to engage. If it's somewhere you go for solo activities, they have no reason to feel obligated to."it socially acceptable to just go back to your workout everyday without saying hi and making conversation" I don't think this should be "socially acceptable" under any circumstances. After a while, going to the same gym at the same time you will see the same people on a regular basis. How can you not, at least, offer a nod of acknowledgment to someone you see regularly? Nod, say hi, try a short conversation, you just might become friends, at the least you'll become acquaintances. Of course, if after that nod, you get no favorable response, don't be a creep.
if after that nod, you get no favorable response, don't be a creep.
I'm objecting to the part I bolded, where you imply there's something wrong with not, at least, offering a nod.
There is. I don't think I implied it, but came right out and said it. We are a social being. One of the problems with the world is all of us not recognizing that fact and becoming more and more separated from each other. No feeling of togetherness, no sense of community, no bond, no mutual aid, assistance or support. Loners are under no obligation to join in society, but I feel we are all obligated to at least try and get together to get along . If a nod offends you, don't respond; you'll be left alone. Ignore your fellow gym members, ignore your neighbors, ignore all other members of the society in which you live; I maintain that that is wrong.
So again, if a nod, or friendly greeting, offends you, don't respond; you'll be left alone.
Classic neurotypical bigotry.5 -
glovepuppet wrote: »glovepuppet wrote: »
I hate this thinking. People have lots of reasons for choosing not to, or being unable to engage. If it's somewhere you go for solo activities, they have no reason to feel obligated to."it socially acceptable to just go back to your workout everyday without saying hi and making conversation" I don't think this should be "socially acceptable" under any circumstances. After a while, going to the same gym at the same time you will see the same people on a regular basis. How can you not, at least, offer a nod of acknowledgment to someone you see regularly? Nod, say hi, try a short conversation, you just might become friends, at the least you'll become acquaintances. Of course, if after that nod, you get no favorable response, don't be a creep.
if after that nod, you get no favorable response, don't be a creep.
I'm objecting to the part I bolded, where you imply there's something wrong with not, at least, offering a nod.
There is. I don't think I implied it, but came right out and said it. We are a social being. One of the problems with the world is all of us not recognizing that fact and becoming more and more separated from each other. No feeling of togetherness, no sense of community, no bond, no mutual aid, assistance or support. Loners are under no obligation to join in society, but I feel we are all obligated to at least try and get together to get along . If a nod offends you, don't respond; you'll be left alone. Ignore your fellow gym members, ignore your neighbors, ignore all other members of the society in which you live; I maintain that that is wrong.
So again, if a nod, or friendly greeting, offends you, don't respond; you'll be left alone.
That's kind of ableist of you, to be honest. I'm autistic and have massive social anxiety. It takes massive effort to be social, which is effort that I need to put into my workouts instead if I'm at the gym. I don't owe you a response just because you want one. Not everyone draws benefit from random interactions with strangers. There is nothing wrong with my doing what I need to do to maintain my mental health. Don't judge everyone based on your assumptions.7 -
" I don't owe you a response just because you want one" No you don't and no I don't necessarily want one. If I get a kindness in return for mine, a friendship might ensue. If I get nothing, nothing lost in the effort. Again, if a nod, or friendly greeting, offends you, don't respond; you'll be left alone. What about this aren't you getting? I don't understand why everyone wants to ignore, or be ignored by, their fellow gym members.4
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glovepuppet wrote: »glovepuppet wrote: »
I hate this thinking. People have lots of reasons for choosing not to, or being unable to engage. If it's somewhere you go for solo activities, they have no reason to feel obligated to."it socially acceptable to just go back to your workout everyday without saying hi and making conversation" I don't think this should be "socially acceptable" under any circumstances. After a while, going to the same gym at the same time you will see the same people on a regular basis. How can you not, at least, offer a nod of acknowledgment to someone you see regularly? Nod, say hi, try a short conversation, you just might become friends, at the least you'll become acquaintances. Of course, if after that nod, you get no favorable response, don't be a creep.
if after that nod, you get no favorable response, don't be a creep.
I'm objecting to the part I bolded, where you imply there's something wrong with not, at least, offering a nod.
There is. I don't think I implied it, but came right out and said it. We are a social being. One of the problems with the world is all of us not recognizing that fact and becoming more and more separated from each other. No feeling of togetherness, no sense of community, no bond, no mutual aid, assistance or support. Loners are under no obligation to join in society, but I feel we are all obligated to at least try and get together to get along . If a nod offends you, don't respond; you'll be left alone. Ignore your fellow gym members, ignore your neighbors, ignore all other members of the society in which you live; I maintain that that is wrong.
So again, if a nod, or friendly greeting, offends you, don't respond; you'll be left alone.
If ignoring all the members of my society is wrong, I don't wanna be right...4 -
grimendale wrote: »glovepuppet wrote: »glovepuppet wrote: »
I hate this thinking. People have lots of reasons for choosing not to, or being unable to engage. If it's somewhere you go for solo activities, they have no reason to feel obligated to."it socially acceptable to just go back to your workout everyday without saying hi and making conversation" I don't think this should be "socially acceptable" under any circumstances. After a while, going to the same gym at the same time you will see the same people on a regular basis. How can you not, at least, offer a nod of acknowledgment to someone you see regularly? Nod, say hi, try a short conversation, you just might become friends, at the least you'll become acquaintances. Of course, if after that nod, you get no favorable response, don't be a creep.
if after that nod, you get no favorable response, don't be a creep.
I'm objecting to the part I bolded, where you imply there's something wrong with not, at least, offering a nod.
There is. I don't think I implied it, but came right out and said it. We are a social being. One of the problems with the world is all of us not recognizing that fact and becoming more and more separated from each other. No feeling of togetherness, no sense of community, no bond, no mutual aid, assistance or support. Loners are under no obligation to join in society, but I feel we are all obligated to at least try and get together to get along . If a nod offends you, don't respond; you'll be left alone. Ignore your fellow gym members, ignore your neighbors, ignore all other members of the society in which you live; I maintain that that is wrong.
So again, if a nod, or friendly greeting, offends you, don't respond; you'll be left alone.
That's kind of ableist of you, to be honest. I'm autistic and have massive social anxiety. It takes massive effort to be social, which is effort that I need to put into my workouts instead if I'm at the gym. I don't owe you a response just because you want one. Not everyone draws benefit from random interactions with strangers. There is nothing wrong with my doing what I need to do to maintain my mental health. Don't judge everyone based on your assumptions.
Ditto.
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bennettinfinity wrote: »glovepuppet wrote: »glovepuppet wrote: »
I hate this thinking. People have lots of reasons for choosing not to, or being unable to engage. If it's somewhere you go for solo activities, they have no reason to feel obligated to."it socially acceptable to just go back to your workout everyday without saying hi and making conversation" I don't think this should be "socially acceptable" under any circumstances. After a while, going to the same gym at the same time you will see the same people on a regular basis. How can you not, at least, offer a nod of acknowledgment to someone you see regularly? Nod, say hi, try a short conversation, you just might become friends, at the least you'll become acquaintances. Of course, if after that nod, you get no favorable response, don't be a creep.
if after that nod, you get no favorable response, don't be a creep.
I'm objecting to the part I bolded, where you imply there's something wrong with not, at least, offering a nod.
There is. I don't think I implied it, but came right out and said it. We are a social being. One of the problems with the world is all of us not recognizing that fact and becoming more and more separated from each other. No feeling of togetherness, no sense of community, no bond, no mutual aid, assistance or support. Loners are under no obligation to join in society, but I feel we are all obligated to at least try and get together to get along . If a nod offends you, don't respond; you'll be left alone. Ignore your fellow gym members, ignore your neighbors, ignore all other members of the society in which you live; I maintain that that is wrong.
So again, if a nod, or friendly greeting, offends you, don't respond; you'll be left alone.
If ignoring all the members of my society is wrong, I don't wanna be right...
You're under no obligation to respond. You don't have the right to foist your solitary ways upon me. So again, if a nod, or friendly greeting, offends you, don't respond; you'll be left alone. Good day.6 -
bennettinfinity wrote: »glovepuppet wrote: »glovepuppet wrote: »
I hate this thinking. People have lots of reasons for choosing not to, or being unable to engage. If it's somewhere you go for solo activities, they have no reason to feel obligated to."it socially acceptable to just go back to your workout everyday without saying hi and making conversation" I don't think this should be "socially acceptable" under any circumstances. After a while, going to the same gym at the same time you will see the same people on a regular basis. How can you not, at least, offer a nod of acknowledgment to someone you see regularly? Nod, say hi, try a short conversation, you just might become friends, at the least you'll become acquaintances. Of course, if after that nod, you get no favorable response, don't be a creep.
if after that nod, you get no favorable response, don't be a creep.
I'm objecting to the part I bolded, where you imply there's something wrong with not, at least, offering a nod.
There is. I don't think I implied it, but came right out and said it. We are a social being. One of the problems with the world is all of us not recognizing that fact and becoming more and more separated from each other. No feeling of togetherness, no sense of community, no bond, no mutual aid, assistance or support. Loners are under no obligation to join in society, but I feel we are all obligated to at least try and get together to get along . If a nod offends you, don't respond; you'll be left alone. Ignore your fellow gym members, ignore your neighbors, ignore all other members of the society in which you live; I maintain that that is wrong.
So again, if a nod, or friendly greeting, offends you, don't respond; you'll be left alone.
If ignoring all the members of my society is wrong, I don't wanna be right...
You're under no obligation to respond. You don't have the right to foist your solitary ways upon me. So again, if a nod, or friendly greeting, offends you, don't respond; you'll be left alone. Good day.
Actually, I do. As a human person with agency, I have the freedom of association - which includes the freedom to not associate. Unless you want to argue that your desire for inane small talk trumps that freedom.6
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