I need help...

rwnhz
rwnhz Posts: 32 Member
edited December 22 in Motivation and Support
Hi, I've already posted a couple of weeks / months ago about a weight loss plateau.
People have told me to up my calories to 1400, but still, no change. Had a cheat day yesterday for my best friend's birthday, and I really, really overate. I've never felt so guilty in my life. I work out almost every day. I watch every single thing I eat (cheat days excepted). I drink my water. I do intermittent fasting. And I can't lose those last couple of kg. I can't even see any difference when I look at myself in the mirror. I'm getting more and more into an unhealthy relationship with food. I don't know what to do anymore and this is starting to take its toll on my mental health.
I'm sorry this is such a depressing post but I'm utterly at a loss on what to do at this point....
Thanks if anyone reads this and figures out what's wrong with me.

Replies

  • mchanlon24
    mchanlon24 Posts: 9 Member
    Hey @rwnhz I'm not saying this will definitely fix your dilemma. But do you need to go back to the reason why you started? Take some time focussing on you. Today if I have a good day food-wise im going to treat myself to a fizzy bath <3o:)
    If I feel myself slipping and thinking about biscuits (my weakness ;) ) I will clean something in the house or go into the garden with my dogs. my motivation is that i want to be a healthy weight before my husband and I try for a baby.
    This might be totally different for you, motivations and stuff but hopefully you can apply the general gist to your dilemma. :) good luck my lovely.
  • shaf238
    shaf238 Posts: 4,022 Member
    What is your age, height, weight, target weight? Are you using a food scale to measure everything? Are you double checking the mfp entries on your food log (there are a lot of inaccurate/outdated items in there)? How long have you been in a plateau, you mentioned a couple of weeks/months but that's a big time difference. Is it 2 weeks or 2 months?
  • unicorngems
    unicorngems Posts: 56 Member
    rwnhz wrote: »
    Hi, I've already posted a couple of weeks / months ago about a weight loss plateau.
    People have told me to up my calories to 1400, but still, no change. Had a cheat day yesterday for my best friend's birthday, and I really, really overate. I've never felt so guilty in my life. I work out almost every day. I watch every single thing I eat (cheat days excepted). I drink my water. I do intermittent fasting. And I can't lose those last couple of kg. I can't even see any difference when I look at myself in the mirror. I'm getting more and more into an unhealthy relationship with food. I don't know what to do anymore and this is starting to take its toll on my mental health.
    I'm sorry this is such a depressing post but I'm utterly at a loss on what to do at this point....
    Thanks if anyone reads this and figures out what's wrong with me.

    Give yourself time, how long are you giving yourself to lose this weight? I never realized until someone told me, that my expectations are too high. Especially if you aren't obese but maybe just slightly overweight the pounds don't always drop off....don't expect too much too soon.

    If you are eating healthily, you feel well in yourself and your regularly working out it will come! Try not to stress or feel disheartened when you step on the scale is doesn't mean you aren't toning up or gaining muscle.
  • rwnhz
    rwnhz Posts: 32 Member
    mchanlon24 wrote: »
    Hey @rwnhz I'm not saying this will definitely fix your dilemma. But do you need to go back to the reason why you started? Take some time focussing on you. Today if I have a good day food-wise im going to treat myself to a fizzy bath <3o:)
    If I feel myself slipping and thinking about biscuits (my weakness ;) ) I will clean something in the house or go into the garden with my dogs. my motivation is that i want to be a healthy weight before my husband and I try for a baby.
    This might be totally different for you, motivations and stuff but hopefully you can apply the general gist to your dilemma. :) good luck my lovely.

    Thanks for the kind words, I'm not really used to opening up about this kind of stuff so it feels good having nice answers like yours. I think I need to take a step back and remember why I started losing weight in the first place. I'll try to remember that when it all feels like too much again. Thanks a lot it really means a lot to me ☺
  • rwnhz
    rwnhz Posts: 32 Member
    shaf238 wrote: »
    What is your age, height, weight, target weight? Are you using a food scale to measure everything? Are you double checking the mfp entries on your food log (there are a lot of inaccurate/outdated items in there)? How long have you been in a plateau, you mentioned a couple of weeks/months but that's a big time difference. Is it 2 weeks or 2 months?

    I'm 21, 164cm and 60kg. I do use a scale to measure everything, and I multiply meat / fish that has been cooked by 1,3 as I've seen online was the average, although I don't always double check the calories entered in the food log, so I'll be more careful about that in the future. I've been stuck at around 60kg since late March, so it's been a WHILE. Sometimes I go down to 59 or up to 61, but it's always around the same weight.
  • rwnhz
    rwnhz Posts: 32 Member
    rwnhz wrote: »
    Hi, I've already posted a couple of weeks / months ago about a weight loss plateau.
    People have told me to up my calories to 1400, but still, no change. Had a cheat day yesterday for my best friend's birthday, and I really, really overate. I've never felt so guilty in my life. I work out almost every day. I watch every single thing I eat (cheat days excepted). I drink my water. I do intermittent fasting. And I can't lose those last couple of kg. I can't even see any difference when I look at myself in the mirror. I'm getting more and more into an unhealthy relationship with food. I don't know what to do anymore and this is starting to take its toll on my mental health.
    I'm sorry this is such a depressing post but I'm utterly at a loss on what to do at this point....
    Thanks if anyone reads this and figures out what's wrong with me.

    Give yourself time, how long are you giving yourself to lose this weight? I never realized until someone told me, that my expectations are too high. Especially if you aren't obese but maybe just slightly overweight the pounds don't always drop off....don't expect too much too soon.

    If you are eating healthily, you feel well in yourself and your regularly working out it will come! Try not to stress or feel disheartened when you step on the scale is doesn't mean you aren't toning up or gaining muscle.

    Thanks for your answer ! I honestly don't have a set date on when to lose the weight, I'm just sick of the scale not budging since March.... I'm already at a healthy weight, but I still have some amount of fat to shed, but it seems nothing works. Don't know if it's a calorie thing or a hormonal thing, but it's getting annoying, to say the least.
    The thing is, I don't even see my body getting more toned or slim, I don't see any difference at all...
  • 88olds
    88olds Posts: 4,539 Member
    Maybe you need a talk with yourself about what you want and what you’re willing to do to get it. Maybe some research on fitness and nutrition.

    Looks like you’re in a healthy range BMI. Seems like you have the basics of a sound program. Do you want the next level of fitness? Maybe consider that you might be better served at this point by fitness goals than by pursuit of a number on the scale.

    But this- lifestyle choices involve trial and error. You don’t really know about a lot of things until you try them. Trial and error takes patience. Try to keep an attitude of experimentation. Don’t kick yourself just because you struggle a bit finding the right path. Keep working.
  • mchanlon24
    mchanlon24 Posts: 9 Member
    @rwnhz Your welcome :) motivation doesn't always come in the form of some orange shiny ripped person yelling at you to "fight that flab" 😂
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,458 Member
    edited August 2019
    It took me nine months to lose the last 15 pounds to put me mid-range of my healthy BMI.

    Nine.
    Months.

    Stay the course. It's sometimes two steps forward and one step back. I agree that maybe you're at the point where you could start doing some fitness goal oriented stuff and let your body decide. If you're logging accurately, it will happen. It's tough at the end. Little scale weight changes and big hunger. I hear you! I had many many overage days, I was legit hungry with so little body fat and still trying to eat at a deficit.
  • shaf238
    shaf238 Posts: 4,022 Member
    Probably a good idea to double check your logging, assuming your overall calorie goal is correct. Ultimately it's going to come down to one of two things, either reduce how much you're eating or up the volume/intensity of your exercise. And in case you hadn't checked recently, you're smack bang in the middle of the healthy BMI range.
  • swiftyl
    swiftyl Posts: 37 Member
    Hi ya, firstly if I were to give any advice (which I don't do as I'm not a nutrionist or dr ;)) it would be, don't beat yourself up. You're still trying, you're still here, you're still doing it regardless of what a silly pesky scale says. Also, and i just ask to give you something to muse on... What happens if you still don't see changes to your body when you've lost those last couple of kgs? Is your fixed ideal weight something you have to achieve even though its giving you mental anguish? I don't know your circumstances, but perhaps giving yourself a break and like others have said maybe try focusing on a different goal may help? Stress after all can cause us to gain /maintain weight, so perhaps give yourself permission to ease up. Whatever you choose, just know you've achieved so much, and you're worthy, just as you are. Good luck.
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
    When you're in a healthy weight range those last few pounds are sooo slow, snails pace slow - as in you might do well if you lose 0.5lb a week, for me it was around 1lb a month. It takes being really accurate with weighing and logging your intake.
    Also remember a few pounds at this stage isn't going to make that much of a change so don't beat yourself up whilst you work on getting to your desired weight.
    All the best.
  • LivingtheLeanDream
    LivingtheLeanDream Posts: 13,342 Member
    ps those 'cheat' days are probably doing away with any calorie deficit you might have. You need to log those too, at least to get a handle on where you might be going wrong.
  • kimny72
    kimny72 Posts: 16,011 Member
    rwnhz wrote: »
    shaf238 wrote: »
    What is your age, height, weight, target weight? Are you using a food scale to measure everything? Are you double checking the mfp entries on your food log (there are a lot of inaccurate/outdated items in there)? How long have you been in a plateau, you mentioned a couple of weeks/months but that's a big time difference. Is it 2 weeks or 2 months?

    I'm 21, 164cm and 60kg. I do use a scale to measure everything, and I multiply meat / fish that has been cooked by 1,3 as I've seen online was the average, although I don't always double check the calories entered in the food log, so I'll be more careful about that in the future. I've been stuck at around 60kg since late March, so it's been a WHILE. Sometimes I go down to 59 or up to 61, but it's always around the same weight.

    You are in the healthy weight range for your height, so progress will be super slow. Are you doing any strength training? If you are a healthy weight but unhappy with how you look, it's possible recomp will be a good option. Sometimes "lack of muscle" can look like "I need to lose more weight". As a young male, now would be a perfect time to take advantage and build a bit of muscle.

    Check out these threads if you haven't already, maybe something will jump out at you:

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10177803/recomposition-maintaining-weight-while-losing-fat/p1

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10332083/which-lifting-program-is-the-best-for-you/p1

    What's most important is, you should not be stressing out, getting depressed, and be hard on yourself over a couple of lbs. You are not at an unhealthy weight or even overweight. Please take care of yourself :smile:
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,439 Member
    edited August 2019
    I never say this - but you are eating too little. You are a young male and eating ~1200 calories per day. That isn't enough. Looking at your food diary, it looks like you are diligent in weighing and logging.

    Kick your daily calorie goal up. Walk it up 100 calories per week. So this week shoot for 1300 calories, next week 1400 calories, the week after 1500 calories, and so on.

    I don't know how active you are, so I set you at sedentary with this TDEE calculator (if you do any exercise you need to eat MORE than this).

    pza082is0qni.jpg

    You should be eating ~1700 calories per day (again, assuming sedentary).

    BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) - the amount of calories your body needs to maintain your current weight if you were in a coma, no movement at all.

    TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure) - the amount of calories your body needs to maintain your body weight with your average daily movement/exercise
  • kimny72
    kimny72 Posts: 16,011 Member
    I didn't even notice the calories. +1 to @quiksylver296 's post as well.
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,458 Member
    +2 on the "eat more" train. Good catch, quicksylver.

    I'm a little old lady, retired and I lost the last weight ( from 170 to 140) on 1500 + Exercise calories. Most days that meant I ate 1800.
  • rwnhz
    rwnhz Posts: 32 Member
    I never say this - but you are eating too little. You are a young male and eating ~1200 calories per day. That isn't enough. Looking at your food diary, it looks like you are diligent in weighing and logging.

    Kick your daily calorie goal up. Walk it up 100 calories per week. So this week shoot for 1300 calories, next week 1400 calories, the week after 1500 calories, and so on.

    I don't know how active you are, so I set you at sedentary with this TDEE calculator (if you do any exercise you need to eat MORE than this).

    pza082is0qni.jpg

    You should be eating ~1700 calories per day (again, assuming sedentary).

    BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) - the amount of calories your body needs to maintain your current weight if you were in a coma, no movement at all.

    TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure) - the amount of calories your body needs to maintain your body weight with your average daily movement/exercise

    Thanks for the input. I'm just worried, if I'm maintaining the same weight with the amounts of calories I eat now, won't upping those calories mean weight gain? That's just what I'm worried about...
  • rwnhz
    rwnhz Posts: 32 Member
    kimny72 wrote: »
    rwnhz wrote: »
    shaf238 wrote: »
    What is your age, height, weight, target weight? Are you using a food scale to measure everything? Are you double checking the mfp entries on your food log (there are a lot of inaccurate/outdated items in there)? How long have you been in a plateau, you mentioned a couple of weeks/months but that's a big time difference. Is it 2 weeks or 2 months?

    I'm 21, 164cm and 60kg. I do use a scale to measure everything, and I multiply meat / fish that has been cooked by 1,3 as I've seen online was the average, although I don't always double check the calories entered in the food log, so I'll be more careful about that in the future. I've been stuck at around 60kg since late March, so it's been a WHILE. Sometimes I go down to 59 or up to 61, but it's always around the same weight.

    You are in the healthy weight range for your height, so progress will be super slow. Are you doing any strength training? If you are a healthy weight but unhappy with how you look, it's possible recomp will be a good option. Sometimes "lack of muscle" can look like "I need to lose more weight". As a young male, now would be a perfect time to take advantage and build a bit of muscle.

    Check out these threads if you haven't already, maybe something will jump out at you:

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10177803/recomposition-maintaining-weight-while-losing-fat/p1

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10332083/which-lifting-program-is-the-best-for-you/p1

    What's most important is, you should not be stressing out, getting depressed, and be hard on yourself over a couple of lbs. You are not at an unhealthy weight or even overweight. Please take care of yourself :smile:

    Thanks very much for the support it's highly appreciated. It's hard not to get bummed out when I'm still deeply dissatisfied with both what's on the scale and what I see in the mirror. My doctor also recommended me to focus on strength training so that's what I've been mostly doing lately, that and brisk paced walks several times a week.
    I'll definitely check out these posts ! Thanks again
  • rwnhz
    rwnhz Posts: 32 Member
    Kathryn247 wrote: »
    Going to go against the grain (and some of my favorite MFP commenters!) and say that if you're not losing, you're not eating too little.

    I think the problem is your "cheat" days. When you're close to goal, a cheat day can eliminate your deficit for the week.

    Yes I try to air them out more than I used to, think I'll force myself to log and not get overboard when occasions pop up
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,458 Member
    rwnhz wrote: »
    Kathryn247 wrote: »
    Going to go against the grain (and some of my favorite MFP commenters!) and say that if you're not losing, you're not eating too little.

    I think the problem is your "cheat" days. When you're close to goal, a cheat day can eliminate your deficit for the week.

    Yes I try to air them out more than I used to, think I'll force myself to log and not get overboard when occasions pop up

    The fact that you are undereating on your "regular" days at 1400 will lead to a lot of those over-eating issues.

    Set your Goal to "Lose 1/2 pound per week," or even Maintenance, eat that amount. When you exercise enter that and eat more on those days. Give that a couple months and try not to do planned cheat days.

    Eating the right amount on a regular basis will eliminate the binge/starve thing you're doing now.
  • unicorngems
    unicorngems Posts: 56 Member
    Kathryn247 wrote: »
    Going to go against the grain (and some of my favorite MFP commenters!) and say that if you're not losing, you're not eating too little.

    I think the problem is your "cheat" days. When you're close to goal, a cheat day can eliminate your deficit for the week.

    I agree that this can sometimes be the case, it's about being careful with the cheats! I say have 'a treat' not a 'cheat day' cheats all day could indeed undo the hard work. Chose the snack you really really want and incorporate it into your day.

    Also I havr to agree with what @kimny72 has written here!!
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,439 Member
    edited August 2019
    rwnhz wrote: »
    I never say this - but you are eating too little. You are a young male and eating ~1200 calories per day. That isn't enough. Looking at your food diary, it looks like you are diligent in weighing and logging.

    Kick your daily calorie goal up. Walk it up 100 calories per week. So this week shoot for 1300 calories, next week 1400 calories, the week after 1500 calories, and so on.

    I don't know how active you are, so I set you at sedentary with this TDEE calculator (if you do any exercise you need to eat MORE than this).

    pza082is0qni.jpg

    You should be eating ~1700 calories per day (again, assuming sedentary).

    BMR (Basal Metabolic Rate) - the amount of calories your body needs to maintain your current weight if you were in a coma, no movement at all.

    TDEE (Total Daily Energy Expenditure) - the amount of calories your body needs to maintain your body weight with your average daily movement/exercise

    Thanks for the input. I'm just worried, if I'm maintaining the same weight with the amounts of calories I eat now, won't upping those calories mean weight gain? That's just what I'm worried about...

    You need to trust, just a little bit. You've done a bit of damage by eating so little for so long. That's why I suggested to walk the calories up 100 per week.

    You'll see a slight jump on the scale, due to more actual food in your body. It will taper off, I promise. Read this article for some for information on that.

    http://physiqonomics.com/the-weird-and-highly-annoying-world-of-scale-weight-and-fluctuations

    Your body needs more nutrients and calories than you are currently giving it.

    As for the "cheat days", I do suggest you minimize those as well.
  • GrizzledSquirrel
    GrizzledSquirrel Posts: 120 Member
    This might not be the answer you are after, but you seem to be within a healthy weight. If it’s so hard losing those last few kg to get to your “perfect” weight, it’s going to be just as tough maintaining there. The work doesn’t stop once the magic number appears on the scale and the more you force your body to be something it’s not, the more it fights you. In this respect, there is the risk that you start a yo-yo cycle which frankly, I think you’re too young to get messed up in. (Not that it’s good at any age).

    Considering you are within a health range, consider whether it is time to make peace with the weight that you are. If you need a goal, maybe make it a fitness or experience-oriented one where you hike up a mountain or run a 5k for charity or save up for an amazing trip. Focusing on more positive goals of “what CAN I do” (e.g cycle my stress away on a Sat morning) rather than “what CAN’T I do” (enjoy eating out with friends) might help to lessen your “unhealthy” relationship with food.

    Whatever route you choose - best of luck with it. And remember, you are not alone in these struggles!
  • rwnhz
    rwnhz Posts: 32 Member
    This might not be the answer you are after, but you seem to be within a healthy weight. If it’s so hard losing those last few kg to get to your “perfect” weight, it’s going to be just as tough maintaining there. The work doesn’t stop once the magic number appears on the scale and the more you force your body to be something it’s not, the more it fights you. In this respect, there is the risk that you start a yo-yo cycle which frankly, I think you’re too young to get messed up in. (Not that it’s good at any age).

    Considering you are within a health range, consider whether it is time to make peace with the weight that you are. If you need a goal, maybe make it a fitness or experience-oriented one where you hike up a mountain or run a 5k for charity or save up for an amazing trip. Focusing on more positive goals of “what CAN I do” (e.g cycle my stress away on a Sat morning) rather than “what CAN’T I do” (enjoy eating out with friends) might help to lessen your “unhealthy” relationship with food.

    Whatever route you choose - best of luck with it. And remember, you are not alone in these struggles!

    Thanks, I think you're right. It's hard to wrap my mind around it yet but I've been thinking about it all day and I just can't continue this path of restricting / binge-eating on and off. I think I'll have to focus more on the way that I look and feel rather than what's on the scale. That's hard though, fingers crossed I'll get there eventually ! Thanks for the nice words though
This discussion has been closed.