Keeping Commitments

Options
gemigirl68
gemigirl68 Posts: 38 Member
edited August 2019 in Motivation and Support
I've been really good at keeping my commitment on workouts this month. That being said, I still feel kind of alone in this journey to better health. Every time my husband asks me about my workout, and what I did at the gym that day, he has to "one up" me. All I want is a "good job!" or "way to go!" Am I being too sensitive? I have a long way to go before I'm running a race but just a little encouragement at home would be nice. Thanks for letting me vent!

Replies

  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,136 Member
    Options
    I think @Terytha is right, in that you do need to discuss how his comments are making you feel.

    However, I don't think it's ever a good idea to rely on friends and family for motivation with weight loss or fitness, their interest in my experience is usually fleeting, you need to be able to motivate yourself through good habits and discipline.

    I have found it a lot easier since I stopped asking friends and family for motivation, if I need to rant or ask for opinions on fitness, nutrition, etc. The community here are the people I turn to, because they are either in the same boat or have already been there and been successful.

  • J72FIT
    J72FIT Posts: 5,948 Member
    Options
    In what way does he one up you?
  • Jeter1777
    Jeter1777 Posts: 6 Member
    edited August 2019
    Options
    My wife does the same thing. It might be that he’s a little un-comfortable with you getting better. Or at least that’s what I tell myself. Good luck. I just let it roll off my back now. Keep working.
  • LyndaBSS
    LyndaBSS Posts: 6,964 Member
    Options
    Terytha wrote: »
    Don't tell us that, tell him that!

    You're 100% allowed to ask for what you need in terms of support and encouragement. Read him this exactly.

    This exactly ^^^^^^

    Husbands can't read our minds. If he hasn't been an "atta girl" kind of guy before, he's not going to know that's what you need now.

    That said, "atta girl". 👍
  • AustinRuadhain
    AustinRuadhain Posts: 2,574 Member
    Options
    @gemigirl68 - That behavior isn't just your husband. Lots of people do that. Nothing to do with you or him.

    I go to my husband and tell him -- "Will you please say "Great job!" to me! I just did X awesome workout, and I want to be acknowledged for that." Over time, by the way, he has gotten more likely to do this without my asking. But it was definitely a very clear request at the beginning, and I still make it sometimes.

    And yes -- Go YOU, getting in those great workouts and keeping your commitment on workouts this month!
  • grimendale
    grimendale Posts: 2,154 Member
    Options
    Agreed with the above. Talk to him and tell him how what he's doing makes you feel. He might be feeling competitive, he might be jealous, he might be worried that he's losing you, he might be trying to connect by offering something similar to show he understands. Without communicating, there's no way for you to know, and there's no way for him to know he's upsetting you.

Categories