Need some emotional support

Hi there, I am so sorry to hear that you family, mainly your husband isnt supporting you in your efforts to improve youself and be happier. That is a shame ON HIM situation BUT here is what I had to do in my last marriage.

TAKE CONTROL OF YOUR OWN HAPPINESS. Consider the feelings of other that you care about but DO NOT LET THEM HAVE CONTROL over what you feel you CAN and CAN NOT do. When you stop and think about it no one can really hurt you emotionally unless you allow it. TURN HIM OFF in your mind as far as his negative comments. You have to be strong willed in order to do it but it does work. I am not saying that your marriage is in trouble or anything like that BUT I am saying that I feel that it is important that your husband learn to respect and support you when making big decisions in your life. If not there will be more problems down the road either for you as a person dealing with the rejection and lack of support there or for your marriage because you are going to decide you just cant take the negativity and do what you want anyway.

Just my take on the subjects beings that I have been there before in your shoes and I got a divorce. Try sitting them your family down with a list of things and be prepared for the talk and then try to talk it out communication is PRIME material for sucess. I dont know what 'faith' you are but I spend a lot of my time talking to God about things now and I have a very supportive new husband who has stood by me through FAT and Skinny, Sick and healthy, Good and Bad times. Im a lucky woman but then again he is a lucky man and we deserve each other.

Best of luck to you and prayers will be sent from me for you!
Peggy

Never give up on your dreams! Life is a journey and your happiness is a huge part in measuring the success of your journey! I'm sorry you are not finding the strength and encouragement from your family right now, that must be very difficult.....have you let them know how you feel? I hope you can find the strength in yourself to pursue your dreams and reach your goals, I'm sure your family and friends will come around and stand by your side! Best of luck to you!

For you and your husband...I suggest you both read " Five love languages" by Gary Chapman...I think it will help...BELIEVE me!!! I think that maybe your husband just doesn't know how to express himself so instead of encouraging you he tears you down. You family sabatoging you...just don't let it...have stronger will power...and you will prevail...JUST STAY POSITIVE!!! I know...easier said than done!

dogwdots ((((((((((((I am sending you cyber hugs))))))))). First of all, I could be wrong but it sounds like you are being manipulated. Trust me, I know manipulation we I see it. I allowed every decision in my life to be made by my husband until about 6 months ago. I started reevaluating and changing my mindset , then in Jan, I just changed everything I did. I no longer seek his opinion or approval on what I want to do or am considering doing. I actually started doing things by myself with no kids!! I have not been without my kids since I started having them 9 years ago. I never went out because if I did my husband would make me feel bad, or if I asked him to watch the kids, he would not answer me or if I had a brilliant idea and I approached him with it, he did not support it. So you know what??? I've been doing what I want to do for a month and my hubby actually treats me more respectfully and more like an equal!! We actually have conversations that are not about our kids now.

Your family may try to sabotage your diet, but you are the one who puts the food into your mouth. You are not being force fed. If they don't want to eat the same food as you, make 2 meals. I have been doing this for years since my kids eat differently. Over time, they will see your example and they may decide to follow it.

As far as school, I think that you should go if that's what you want to do. Just go sign up. If you don't, you never will. You can't wait for someone to high five you and push you out the door. Sometimes you just have to show that you really plan on doing something and then do it!!


Is publishing this children's book going to cost you money? I have always heard that it should not cost you money, so if it doesn't, what is the sense in not trying to publish it? What is your book about? If you'd like to share, I am very intereseted and maybe you can get some feedback here and whether or not people would be interested in that kind of book.

Your family is supposed to support you. But they learn by example. If you do not support yourself, they are not going to support you. One of the final straws to me STOPPING the manipulation is when I first tried to go out with just myself and my two year old, my little boy called my "scared" and upset. He said that his dad left him home alone because he could not fit both kids in the truck. Well, when I got home, my husband was here, my son had lied, (he just wanted me to be home under his thumb) my daughter chimed in on the lies. I told my son that he could not do that to people and that when he grows up if he does it to his wife she was going to divorce him. He told me that she would not because I have not divorced his daddy. I have gone out all by myself several times more than I normally would have since that incident. I am going to teach my family, one way or another, that I am not alive to please them. I have an independent mind and voice. I will use them .From now on, I am going to do what I want to do, not because anyone else supports me but because I support myself.

Okay, sorry I got very long winded. I hope that this helped you some. Do this for you!!

Sounds like fear of the unknown is impacting your husband, and he poses a significant hurdle to your career. He may be worried and see your new carreer/life change as something that could take you away from him and the family. He may be bothered by the "odd" hours, because they interfere with time he is expecting to have you at home.

You could prehaps make a schedule and show your husband exactly when you will be available to him and the kids and when you will be working on your career.

The more your husband is encouraged to share his concerns and is brought into the process and asked for input and guidance, the quicker his fears will dissipate and be replaced with support and encouragement.

There are no guarantees, but I think you are very courages and seem to know what you want to do, so I wish you all the best and hope things will turn out great for you.

Cath