I can never stick to it, how do you?!
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I hope you can discover the attitude/approach which will let you see, if you keep going as you are you will weigh more than you now or want to be in say 6 months time. If you are prepared to adapt your ways so you can build up the knowledge, "today I achieved my dietary restriction to enable me to loose", tomorrow I will endeavour to do the same, then in a month I should have achieved, then hold that thought and the day after, do your best to reach the end of the day in deficit, and repeat, and repeat, then repeat. I think there is a thread, "just for today". Each today on its own will move you into your new you. I can't promise you every day will be perfect, some will be much harder than others and some could get away from you, if this happens, start again the next day, working to keep to your deficit so off you go again, the occasional blip will not break you, giving in to two many blips too close together will. I hope this helps. Be strong, you can do this, without a happy you in your world its not much fun.1
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1. Choose what will be the least resistance/least hated/ most enjoyable exercise for you, not just whatever is "expected" or everyone else does
2. Small changes incrementally over time - don't try to change everything all at once
I absolutely HATE going to a gym. I've tried in the past and couldn't stand it. So I don't do it! I found something I didn't hate - walking - and started doing that (I'd listen to podcasts I enjoy while I walk, or play a game like Pokemon Go or Harry Potter Wizards Unite that rewards you for walking too). Some people like to dance, or ride a bike, or do indoor rock-climbing. Sounds like you enjoy swimming - that's great! Go with that! Now that I've lost a good chunk of weight and feel better with my body and have more energy I am starting to consider adding some other things to add a little strength because that sounds fun/motivating, but probably something that I could do at home. Find something that you at least don't hate and that works as easily as possible with your lifestyle or schedule so you won't skip it. Trick yourself into exercise is one way to put it - this isn't exercise, this is de-stressing :-)
For food, I made small changes. First I just started logging everything and just watching my portions of the same things I already ate to make it fit in the calorie goal. When I was having trouble staying in my goal while still staying full on that, I started to swap some items or rework the proportion of meat to veggie to starch on my plate - it took some experimentation to figure out what was satiating for me. Turned out tracking and increasing fiber did the trick for me (I had tried cutting back carbs first because I LOVE meat - but was hungry all the time on that). This seems to vary a lot person to person, so just know it might take you a few weeks to figure out what works for you. It's a process, so the biggest thing is to view it as a process not a light-switch so you don't have one off day and just quit - instead you just readjust and keep going.3 -
You've gotten some good advice in here, and hopefully you can see that there is no one-size-fits all approach. So give yourself the time to figure out what works for you. If you screw up, don't just throw it all away: use it as a learning opportunity and do some troubleshooting. For example, what was your state of mind when you went through the drive-thru after work instead of going home to make dinner? Were you just too hungry at that point? You could work an afternoon snack into your meal plan so that doesn't happen. Try that, see if it works. If not, reassess and try a different approach.
Two big things that helped me:
1) Involve other people. When I knew I wanted to start calorie tracking and getting back to the gym more regularly, I told my husband that it was a goal of mine. Not only did that give me some accountability to say it out loud, but it also set up the expectations of when I would be gone and when I was expecting him to watch our kid. Now we have a very regular weekly routine that allows time for both of us to work out, and both of us to spend time with our son. I also like going to a smaller gym with classes where the instructors know me. When I leave, I tell them "see you on Thursday!" or "I can't make Thursday's class this week, but I'll try to come on Friday." It's stating it out loud for myself, but also involving other people in that expectation. And of course you have people here if you want to add friends or get on board with one of the accountability challenges!
2) Find something that you really like about changing your lifestyle, and use that to your advantage. I love to cook. I love trying out new recipes and making things from scratch and sharing them with my friends and family. So I took the time to build some of my favorite recipes in the MFP recipe builder and accurately weigh the ingredients and final products on a food scale, so I could still enjoy some of my favorite meals as long as they were within my calories. I also dove deep on Pinterest and other sites to find new recipes. (And bonus: this made me realize that healthy meals aren't only salads and grilled chicken. My chicken enchiladas that I always considered an indulgence food and not a "diet" food come in under 500 calories/serving! That totally fits into a normal dinner portion for me, as long as I stick to that serving size and don't add too much cheese/extras). I build a meal plan each week that combines some old favorites with new recipes to keep things interesting. I have 0% temptation to stop at a drive-thru on the way home when I know what I'm having for dinner and it's something I enjoy! If cooking isn't your thing, you don't have to do it this way, but I'm sure you can find a strength or interest that will help!
And a 3rd honorable mention point: be flexible. Sure, I've got that meal plan, but that doesn't mean I can't move some things around every so often if a friend wants to go out to lunch. It's just one day, one meal, and doesn't derail everything else.9 -
There are so many great tips and ideas here for you to use. I have struggled with my weight my entire life. Sometimes I get so frustrated because other people can eat crap all day long and never gain an ounce. I feel like if I see bread I gain 5 pounds. There are so many blogs, sites, diet professionals out there that it makes it so hard to know what to do. The best tip I can give is start small. Pick one goal. Like cutting down on bad carbs and learn how to work around that in your life. Then add another one, like get rid of the cream in your coffee ( I am still working on that one
) But most of all, if you falter, don't sweat it. We all falter and you just start again. Once your body starts feeling better, you just naturally become more motivated. Lastly, do what you like! I love yoga, so I do it every morning. I hate walking, but love love love my dog so she keeps me motivated to walk every day after work. I hate the gym, so I find YouTube videos to help with fun strength training I can do at home. This is a very long journey and I find myself adjusting all the time to try and make it easier on myself. I lost 50 pounds two years ago, totally plateau'd, gained 17 pounds back during a stressful time this spring/summer and have just lost 2 pounds since coming back to MFP. That 2 pounds was the greatest 2 pounds ever. Celebrate every small win because there is no failure....but a chance to learn. 5 -
Don't rely on willpower. Discipline is the answer. Freedom and success are outputs of discipline.
Start small - make your bed. Make a list of 5 habits that are not helpful to your goals and prioritize these 1-5. Scratch off 2-5 and focus on number 1. Identify a habit you want to adopt that will help you hit your goals and replace this "good" habit with the "bad" habit. After several weeks when this new habit is fully ingrained then repeated this process.5 -
I want it more than anything, to lose weight, be happy and confident in my skin.. But laziness, unmotivated, procrastination, self pity always takes over with the stresses of life.
In my experience... I either want to lose weight and feel better about myself, or I want to be lazy and unmotivated. For me, the 2 are at odds with each other, so I can't say something like "I want it more than anything" and then go sit on the couch in front of the TV all day... because that proves that I didn't want it more than anything... I actually wanted to be lazy more than anything, and so I was.
Self pity and stress are different... at least for me. And there's not much I can do about those things. It took me a long time to figure out my tendencies, my triggers, and my knee-jerk responses, but once I did, I was able to get better at setting myself up for success.
To be clear though...
It's not like 1 day a light bulb went on and suddenly everything was easy. Every day is a struggle, regardless of how good or bad the day before was. It will always be like that for me.4 -
I want it more than anything, to lose weight, be happy and confident in my skin.. But laziness, unmotivated, procrastination, self pity always takes over with the stresses of life. I can mentally think all this, but physically I cant stick to it. Mind is not over matter in my case and I need it to be.
How did you flick that switch?! What changed you, what made it *LIGHTBULB* in yourself.
"Ill start Monday" is no more... But thats my point, I mean it when I say it in my head but on Monday my hands steer the car home after work, not to the gym, and they grab the chips out of the cupboard, not the carrots.
On the upside, I have managed to up my water consumption consistantly, so I am capable of changing habits. But eating healthily, and gyming are my downfalls. I have taken on swimming, which I actually enjoy, I plan to go once a week and gym the rest of my excercise days.
I know the answer to all of this is "Just do it" and thats what I should do, but what is the answer when that doesnt work?
Many people have given you good practical advice above, with which I agree. So I'm going to be all squishy and psychological.
Two thoughts, one general, one specific.
The general one: Self-definition is really important. You are saying "laziness, unmotivated, procrastination, self pity always takes over", "physically I cant stick to it", etc. (Italics added by me, BTW.)
You speak of those things as if they are unchangeable. They're not. At minimum, look for a way to turn those into "I used to not be able to physically stick to it, but I will work at it until I find a way". In your thinking, create some room for change, some expectation that you can change . . . because you can. "I always <undesired behavioral thing>" can become "I used to <undesired behavioral thing>", and you want to work it toward "I now <desired behavioral thing>". Create some conceptual room to improve yourself, to appreciate that positive choices are possible.
The more specific one: It's about "I want it more than anything, to lose weight, be happy and confident in my skin.. But laziness, unmotivated, procrastination, self pity always takes over . . .". I agree with jjpptt2, if you truly wanted it more than anything, you'd be doing it.
Additionally, what I'm seeing in that statement (I think) is something I also see in myself, and struggle with. It is the issue of how much my current self truly wants something, in competition with what my future self truly needs. My current self, truthfully, often wants to be lazy, and always wants to be pleasure-seeking.
Many of the things my current self wants (say, to eat the whole deep-dish pizza, plus a few beers, then go out for gelato), if indulged routinely, are not going to give my future self even a minimally adequate quality of life. Future Ann will be obese, inactive, taking multiple drugs for avoidable health conditions, that all have side effects, especially in combinations. She will need joint replacements sooner rather than later, then will recover more poorly from the surgeries. She will need to live within severe dietary restrictions (because of high blood pressure, high cholesterol, maybe diabetes, etc.) or suffer really major health consequences short run let alone long run if she eats those disallowed foods. She will have restricted mobility much younger, so not be able to go have fun at art fairs, music festivals, stadiums, or anywhere else that involves lots of walking and stairs. She will need to give up her independence and move permanently to an assisted living facility at a younger age, and will probably be sicker longer late in life, and die younger.
How do I know this? Two ways: One, I came close. At the beginning of 2015, age 59, I was obese, with high blood pressure and high cholesterol, with my doctor telling me I needed to start taking statins to reduce heart disease risk. My joints were really painful, carrying all that extra weight around with osteoarthritis. Two, I have a lot of friends my age who've gone down that negative route, and I'm seeing all those bad things play out in their lives. I also have friends my age and a decade or more older at a healthy weight who are athletically active. They have some aging-related issues, but can bounce back much faster from any surgeries, they take many fewer meds, and they routinely do much more fun stuff, and can eat a mega-indulge-y meal now and then with zero negative consequences. I want to be like that second group in a few years, not like that first group.
The writing was on the wall, all bold and clear, right in front of me. I needed to find a way to balance my current self's pleasure-seeking with my future self's health needs, or life was going to be shorter and unhappier.
But here's the good news: Figuring that out is, more generally, figuring out how to game your own preferences and habits in order to cultivate deferred gratification, to accept doing some OK but slightly less fun stuff today, for a big benefit later. And the skills involved in that transfer over into other areas of life, like (say) saving for retirement, or educating yourself for a better job by taking a class at a time over many college semesters. It's a hugely positive set of life skills, worth having.
You can do what you aspire to. You do need to make some choices. Good ideas in preceding posts about how to implement them!13 -
I had a bit of an "ah-ha" moment this week. First, some background:
A little over two years ago (may 2017), I had just finished graduate school and was unemployed for a couple of months while I looked for a job. My sister was getting married in August 2017 and I wanted to look great in my bridesmaid dress. because I had so much time on my hands, I was able to get to the gym every day, plan out all my meals, etc, no problems. I lost almost 10 lbs and even though I wasn't at my UGW I felt great. Well, after the wedding I got a job and fell off the wagon.
I've started back in earnest this month. When entering my goals into MFP (again!) And on Fitbit, I saw that my UGW of 135 (currently 175) would be reached in June of 2021 if I plan on losing half a pound per week. That feels like forever in the future! And I'm all about instant gratification. 😂
THEN it hit me. If I'd just stuck with it two years ago, I'd be at my UGW NOW. Graduate school lasted two years and that seemed to be over in the blink of an eye. Two years will pass whether I reach my goal or not. I'm 32 now, I want to finally, FINALLY, feel good in my own skin at 34 (and on the journey of course).
I've done a lot this year to work on my mental health, which has been a life long struggle for me and an impediment to weight loss, and I feel like I'm really in the right frame of mind for the first time in my life. I started practicing yoga and taking pottery classes, which both have a meditative aspect and have been enormously beneficial to my mental well being. Treating myself to a Fitbit a few weeks ago was also a great decision!
TLDR: reminding myself that time will pass whether I lose weight or not, and taking more time to really take care of myself are helping to get me in the right frame of mind to play the long game.15 -
I am thinking of my current journey as a new way of life, which means the things I am doing may not result in a 20lb loss in a month but I am not deprived, I eat and do things I enjoy, but I find ways to do it in a more healthful way. I am working on my mind just as much as my body. I am also learning (though it is a struggle in a weight oriented society) to not focus on the scale as a measure of success. I have been working out consistently for over a year for the first time in a decade, and I have seen my resting heart rate drop 20 bpm, my blood pressure normalized, my anxiety has been reduced and my overall sense of well-being has increased.
I try not to use the word diet anymore and I have unsubscribed to groups, web pages and forums that I felt promoted behaviors that was not desirable to me in the long run (like the promotion of unsustainable diet fads). I'm down 60 lbs in the last year, and I honestly have not cut a single food out of my diet. I also only do exercises I enjoy, not based on a target calorie burn but based on personal milestones and goals I set for myself.
I've been reading books on building/maintaining good habits along the way also, Atomic Habits is a good one. It is really insightful about how to desired behaviors ingrained in your daily life as a habit.3 -
It’s 99% Mental and 1% Physical. Willpower ultimately gets its *kitten* kicked by the primal part of your brain every time until you understand it’s role in your life and you learn to control it. Period. I came across this interview and website in my current weight loss journey and it has made all the difference.
https://inspirenationshow.com/inspire-651-glenn-livingston-never-binge-again/
https://www.neverbingeagain.com
Everyone’s advice above is great, but in the end, learning to understand how the different parts of your brain work and how to control the negative counterproductive thoughts is almost everything to lose the excess weight forever more!
1. Learn and understand your brain and how to control the negative counterproductive thoughts coming from the amygdala or habit or primal, or addicted portion of brain.
2. Understand that your thoughts ALWAYS create your feelings/emotions, your feelings/emotions ALWAYS drive your actions, and your actions ALWAYS create your results......
3. Develop a realistic and sustainable plan.
4. Be 100% committed to yourself,and your plan.
5. Be patient and love yourself ALWAYS. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Better than you would treat your dearest friend.
6. Fail forward quickly. Make small constant realistic and sustainable improvements to your plan.3 -
I believe in having a normal and happy life as much as possible. Weight loss doesn't have to be exceedingly abnormal or make you that unhappy. If it is you need to revise your plan again.
1) Normal means I only change what is required and I do it a little at a time. I want to give what I feel is normal a chance to catch up to my changes. The more drastically I change the less normal it feels. When I have been on a diet in the past I always wanted to get it over with so I could eat normally again. That was one of the core problems. Now eating less is normal for me and when I go on vacation or something I get tired of the excess and want to get back to my new normal.
2) I like to say you don't have to love what you do to lose weight but you can't hate it. In the past I would always think my happiness would come after a lot of sacrifice to lose the weight. I thought it was okay to be miserable today to be happy at some later time. It never worked because weight loss takes a long time and postponing happiness means that each day is a drag and time seems to pass SO MUCH SLOWER.12 -
I don't stick to it, not well. I have periods of REALLY EXCELLENT EATING and good exercise. Then I have days where I just eat like I have no home training.
I've come to grips with the fact that my own personal struggle with eating has more to do with my brain and compulsions, and is linked to my mental health disorders. My eating is-- or was-- very disordered. It is still a bit chaotic but I do try to eat mindfully most of the time, even if it's a splurge day where I can't summon a single *kitten* to give.
To me, it's all in the ability to bounce back. For years, I would think-- well, I'm already this far off the wagon/I'm never gonna get this right/I might as well just give up, with a repeating chorus of YOU'RE A FAILURE, EAT THE DONUTS-- but there is a lot of power in knowing that you're human, and nobody, LITERALLY NOBODY, is perfect, and I just try and do better now that I know better.
So, I stick to it when I have the strength, and when I don't, I give myself some grace-- but I refuse to give up and that has honestly made all the difference.4 -
I was thinking about this last night and thought of something that was an ah-ha/light bulb type moment that helped me from a few years back when I was looking to get in shape/lose a few vanity pounds.
I realized I was thinking about losing weight and how to do it ALL.THE.TIME. But what was I doing to achieve it? Not much.
So it felt like I was putting in all this effort because I was thinking about and researching all these healthy "hacks" and lifestyle changes and exercise plans to make me love running and reading articles about what time of day I should be eating certain things, etc., etc. But in reality, I was putting off actually making changes or putting anything into effect (probably because I was on information overload) and so I never got any results and just gave up. I don't have a great reason for why that was my mindset, but I think it had to do with feeling like I had to make ALL these changes at once to see any results or have the "perfect" circumstances for weight loss.
And at one point it finally dawned on me that talking about and researching and thinking about losing weight without making changes doesn't help you drop a single ounce! I told myself either stop obsessing over it and just be happy with my body as is or start putting a plan in place. After that switch, I was able to lose a few pounds and hit the summertime goal I had set for myself (which really wasn't much, but it was proof that I could do it if I actually tried).
No idea if that's something that hits home for you, but it was really eye-opening for me to compare how much I was thinking about what I wanted vs. what I was actually doing. Honestly, the effort of planning healthy meals, logging, and working out is SO much less than the constant research and reading and thinking and planning (but not really executing) I was doing a few years ago.
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A few of the recent posts have really resonated with me.
Firstly realising that I had spent the last 25 years trying to lose weight quickly (and failing) because I was too impatient to do it right because doing it right would take 2 years instead of 6 months. Seems guano crazy when I think that I stayed fat until until I was 43y/o because I was too impatient to stay fat until I was 22y/o.
Also the concept of not doing anything that I didn't consider 'normal'. This was part of the epiphany I had a year and a half ago. I realised that if I was to start to manage my weight permanently I had to define a new normal. As in I had to start to live my normal 85kg/187lbs life rather than start doing 'abnormal' things to try and lose weight. I'd just BE the normal 85kg/187lbs person I wanted to be even though I was currently in a 160kg/352lbs body. The idea was that I would just start living the life of my healthy weight self and let my body physically catch up in it's own time.
So I took some time, learned what was 'normal' for a healthy weighted person and started doing that. Now I don't really feel like I'm 'doing' anything. I'm just living my life and the weight loss is a byproduct rather than a focus. And not doing anything has been way easier than doing something
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I love you all, thank you so much. I am going to get a freezer for the garage and make bulk healthy meals so on lazy times I can eat them instead of going out and getting takeaways. It's hard to keep bad food out the house as my partner loves it (he is no fat all muscle no matter what he eats 🙄) and I am going to take it slower. Form each good habit one by one so I'm not overwhelmed all at once. The weather is getting warmer in NZ so I can get more outdoorsy which I love, and I'm going to start reaching out to likeminded old friends for added social benefit so I don't feel so alone in this. It's very hard at work as I am a baker/chef so every offcut gets tasted, but I have let my coworkers know to not let me and be harsh if I try make excuses to them why I should. I think taking leftover dinner will help me instead of just grabbing some food from work, and I have all day access to smoothie making and a huge chiller of options so finding fun in experimenting with that may help me too! I appreciate everything you have all said, and I have got some great advice to take in, I hope this will all push me to be a better me!11
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Not a specific plan but I think this method really works on the aggregate. Every time you fail, learn. Then fail better next time. Keep doing that to success.4
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I needed this post. Thank you all.5
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Today is Monday.0
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Hi, if I may share a little. I used to be like that too. Lazy to exercise, eating uncontrollably, until someone told me what I did to myself. I am always been fat since I was young. But the older I got, it got even worse. This friend help me, motivate me, suggesting me, and keeping me in track till I am responsible on my own now. I lost 28lbs so far. And I still plan to cut down another 20lbs. It won’t be easy. It’s a long life journey. But now rather than seeing it as a suffering, I am enjoying it as a journey. One thing I do to keep me motivated, is I’m looking at my old pics before I started this, and compare it with my recent ones. And to be honest, I love my recent one better. That what makes me keep going.4
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My wake-up call was angina. But what really focused me to make the changes I needed was to start tracking EVERYTHING I ate and drank. I did not try to change any portions or choices for 3 days, just tracked what I ate. It was horrifying to see the amount a ate. And I didn't eat huge quantities at once, oh no, I was a "grazer". But I could graze a 1 lb. pack of hard salami in about 2 hours, follow up with peanut m&ms just a handful, and clean out the party bag in a day, make an omelette with 6 eggs, a cup of cheese, and an onion just for me. Nuts or cheese, oh let's not even go there! So what I did was more or less shock therapy. I was appalled at what I was unthinkingly doing. Didn't even remember eating 1/2 that stuff! But tracking calories daily, now with an eye to portions, lower carb, adequate protein, higher fat has made me realize I didn't NEED to eat as much as I did, I was eating to have something to do. Duh!
Now my problem is not to be so caught up with the numbers because I don't eat enough!
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
"But laziness, unmotivated, procrastination, self pity always takes over with the stresses of life"
By the way, did over eating ever make you feel better about yourself? Did it make the stress less, or just distract you or even ADD to it because of feeling guilty? Procrastination is an excuse. If you cut an artery would you blame laziness and procrastination as an excuse not to go to the hospital and thus die? Self-pity? What are you pitying? That it takes EFFORT to care about yourself? How about this, stop looking inward. If you die because of your selfish greed, who is going to be harmed. In my case (I had all the same excuses you did) I would be leaving behind family and friends who love me and need me, including a disabled husband that relies on MY help just to keep moving.
Sorry to sound so harsh, honey. But sometimes a slap in the face does more good than a "poor baby". You can "wish" you could lose weight in one hand, and poop in the other, which one do you think will get full first? (as my Dad would've said).
Anyway, I hope you find what you need before it is too late. Now, sit up straight, look yourself in the eye and repeat "I CAN DO THIS", THEN JUST DO IT.
Gee, I really do sound like a drill sergeant! Sorry in advance to everyone I am sure to offend.1 -
I want it more than anything, to lose weight, be happy and confident in my skin.. But laziness, unmotivated, procrastination, self pity always takes over with the stresses of life. I can mentally think all this, but physically I cant stick to it. Mind is not over matter in my case and I need it to be.
How did you flick that switch?! What changed you, what made it *LIGHTBULB* in yourself.
"Ill start Monday" is no more... But thats my point, I mean it when I say it in my head but on Monday my hands steer the car home after work, not to the gym, and they grab the chips out of the cupboard, not the carrots.
On the upside, I have managed to up my water consumption consistantly, so I am capable of changing habits. But eating healthily, and gyming are my downfalls. I have taken on swimming, which I actually enjoy, I plan to go once a week and gym the rest of my excercise days.
I know the answer to all of this is "Just do it" and thats what I should do, but what is the answer when that doesnt work?
For one, I think a lot of people have an overly myopic perspective on what constitutes "healthy eating"...and then you couple that with an all or nothing mentality and you have the perfect recipe spinning your wheels.
Healthy doesn't have to be bland and boring...and it doesn't have to be all or nothing. I had some salt and vinegar chips yesterday evening when I got home from work...it didn't undo all of the other nutrition I had earlier that day or the grilled chicken salad I made with a bunch of fresh produce from the farmer's market on Sunday.
Too many people think it's all about plain chicken, broccoli, endless salads, carrots, and celery sticks...yeah...that sucks and most people aren't going to be able to roll with that for long. Fortunately, healthy can have tons of flavor.
As the gym goes, I've never been a daily gym goer. I've actually taken a break this summer from the weight room and I do bodyweight work at home or at my office for resistance training right now. I might go back...probably will...but I only went 2-3x per week to lift and really, I got tired of having somewhere else I needed to be. Most of my exercise is just recreational activity...I ride my bike most days...I do some hiking and rock climbing here and there...I walk my dog...I play in the pool with my kids, etc...I just like being an active person...I'm not really a "workout" kind of guy...just active.
That is another area that I think people really think they have to be going to extremes with exercise to get results and they're trying to force themselves to do something they don't really like doing...again, probably not going to last long.3 -
I want it more than anything, to lose weight, be happy and confident in my skin.. But laziness, unmotivated, procrastination, self pity always takes over with the stresses of life. I can mentally think all this, but physically I cant stick to it. Mind is not over matter in my case and I need it to be.
How did you flick that switch?! What changed you, what made it *LIGHTBULB* in yourself.
"Ill start Monday" is no more... But thats my point, I mean it when I say it in my head but on Monday my hands steer the car home after work, not to the gym, and they grab the chips out of the cupboard, not the carrots.
On the upside, I have managed to up my water consumption consistantly, so I am capable of changing habits. But eating healthily, and gyming are my downfalls. I have taken on swimming, which I actually enjoy, I plan to go once a week and gym the rest of my excercise days.
I know the answer to all of this is "Just do it" and thats what I should do, but what is the answer when that doesnt work?
You have to find something active that you actually enjoy.
- maybe add more swimming days
- try other activities (there is a huge number of fun things one can do for cardio).
- look at the gym differently (or even not at all)... think of weight training as adding strength to do the things you enjoy and as a goal in itself (rather than a means to a different physical appearance)(increases in the weight you can handle will be a more immediately evident reward). And if you hate the dreadmill, don't do the dreadmill. I despise gym cardio - I will never, ever, ever do it...I'd rather run in a blizzard than on the hampster wheel. Thankfully, dancing is a largely indoor activity and snowshoes exist.
- if you can't control yourself with chips (or other calorie dense snack foods), just don't buy them (easier to maintain the self control for 30 minutes in the supermarket than hours at home). (You can always grab a single serve bag from the quickie mart on a day you have extra exercise calories floating around).
- There is definitely a middle ground between chips and carrots.2 -
Read back back through this before posting, I hope it doesn't sound like I'm patting myself on the back. I always worry about that when discussing diet and exercise. I have failed more times than I can count. That being said:
I think the most important thing is finding those things that you either enjoy or that you can do mindlessly when it comes to exercise. I really enjoy my morning walks with an audiobook. And the elliptical I have under my desk is completely autopilot once I start. I'll look down and discover it's been 30 minutes.
Don't let rain stop you from exercising. Have a spare pair of shoes and a rain coat just for that. Because an excuse one day seems to grow into an excuse for the next in my experience, and then you're starting over.
I almost never exercise on the weekend other than taking the kids out so they can play Pokemon Go or walking at the grocery store. Those are my recovery days.
Don't weigh yourself everyday. Day to day fluctuations are nothing. I weigh after exercise and before breakfast on Monday and Friday. That lets me see the whole week. So far my weight has gone down each week so that helps me stay motivated to track and be good through the weekend. Not sure what will happen if my weight goes up or plateaus for too long...
Go to the doctor if anything hurts. I went because after one of those nuclear option things (a week of walking and then the Peachtree which ends up being closer to 10 miles with the walking to/from) my feet hurt every day and after the Peachtree they were killing me. To the point I could barely move/stand for a couple days. Orthopedist looked at xray and way I stand and said this is the problem, do this, and we'll make you some inserts. Don't have the inserts yet, but the one change to how I tie my shoes has made a HUGE difference.
Won't work (in my experience):
What I used to do was the nuclear option. Drastic changes. If I wasn't sore and hungry, I wasn't doing it right. I could never keep that going more than a month. Unless I had a significant goal like running a 10K in less than an hour or something like that. Just weight loss wasn't enough. But then once that goal was accomplished (or missed by 6 damned minutes), if there wasn't another one right on its heels, it was hard to stay motivated. And Just Do It is a shoe commercial, not a motivational mantra.
What is working(fingers crossed):
This time, I'm doing it a little more gradually. I started with a drastic diet change, but only because my blood sugar was high last time I had it checked and a discussion of my MRI included the words neuropathy and the evil WebMD and MayoClinic said diabetes (big in my family). So that was cut all carbs and get rid of cut white carbs (white bread, white potatoes, white rice, white sugar) in favor of whole grains, higher fiber and more veggies. That was easier than I expected. I also know that completely cutting out some things I love (steak, cheeseburgers, etc) is the fastest way to make me give up, so I allow them, just less.
Then I started the exercise every weekday. First few days, 20 minutes of walking. The next week was 2 slow miles 3 days and 20 minutes 2 days. Then 2 faster miles 3 days and 2 slow miles 2 days. I also added some of the aforementioned elliptical that week. Now I'm at 2 faster miles (almost 4mph) a day with the elliptical. Tomorrow I'm going to go for 3 miles at mid speed.
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By the way, did over eating ever make you feel better about yourself? Did it make the stress less, or just distract you or even ADD to it because of feeling guilty? Procrastination is an excuse. If you cut an artery would you blame laziness and procrastination as an excuse not to go to the hospital and thus die? Self-pity? What are you pitying? That it takes EFFORT to care about yourself? How about this, stop looking inward. If you die because of your selfish greed, who is going to be harmed. In my case (I had all the same excuses you did) I would be leaving behind family and friends who love me and need me, including a disabled husband that relies on MY help just to keep moving.
Sorry to sound so harsh, honey. But sometimes a slap in the face does more good than a "poor baby". You can "wish" you could lose weight in one hand, and poop in the other, which one do you think will get full first? (as my Dad would've said).
Anyway, I hope you find what you need before it is too late. Now, sit up straight, look yourself in the eye and repeat "I CAN DO THIS", THEN JUST DO IT.
Gee, I really do sound like a drill sergeant! Sorry in advance to everyone I am sure to offend.
I needed this, thank you!
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What switched the light on for me was a diabetes diagnosis and realizing, from very blurred vision due to blood sugar fluctuations, that these were not just numbers, I would really suffer severe consequences such as blindness if I didn’t get my stuff together. It turns out that a lot of the time people think they want something, but they really don’t. Because when you really do want something, you do it. You probably hate your job at least some of the time, but you go to work anyway. You probably get sick of your kids sometimes, but you care for them all the time no matter what, because it’s not a possibility to do anything else. I just decided that it was no longer possible not to eat right and exercise. So I did it.
That means no playing around or pretending to care. In your case, you reach for chips in your cupboard because you bought chips and put them in your cupboard, intending to eat them, which means you were only pretending you weren’t planning to eat them. Don’t buy chips. If you live with someone who wants chips, let him buy the chips and put them somewhere that belongs to him, not you. My husband has his own cabinet full of stuff.
If you resolve to do a kind of exercise everyday that you hate, you are setting yourself up to not exercise. If you like swimming, swim. There’s no need to go to the gym if you hate it. Swim more. Find other things you love that you will do. I found out I like running. Some people don’t. But as far as other cardio, I need to swap it up and do fun things such as learning different styles of dance. I like lifting, but I don’t like going to the gym, so I bought the stuff I needed to do it at home. Maybe you would like classes, or having a gym friend, or something else. Find what makes you love what you want to do. Think in terms of the rest of your life. You might be willing tostay in a terrible cramped apartment if you knew you were only going to be in town for a few weeks, but if you planned to live there you would shop for a nice house that suited you.
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Daynie, I’ll keep this short and simple, because that’s all it takes to get my point across on this issue.
All you need to do is do feel good things such as cold showers, eating a carrot, drinking 3 litres of water a day etc..
That’s all it takes, doing feel good things like these make you “feel better” about life and lead you to positive thoughts, the more you do these positive feel good things, the better you’ll feel about yourself and the more ambitious and motivated you’ll be in all aspects of life.
I hope this helps!0 -
For me it wasn't a day to start, I just want to feel better and healthier. I eat when I am hungry and stay 80% to healthy foods and let myself have treats here and there. I do my best to eat "natural" foods like yogurt, eggs, vegetables, potatoes, fruits, whole grains, organic milk, high quality cheeses, nuts, and legumes. The other time I eat things I also enjoy like frozen yogurt, cupcakes, cookies, and chocolate, The key for me is to balance it out and really enjoy it (even the healthy stuff.)1
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I want it more than anything, to lose weight, be happy and confident in my skin.. But laziness, unmotivated, procrastination, self pity always takes over with the stresses of life. I can mentally think all this, but physically I cant stick to it. Mind is not over matter in my case and I need it to be.
How did you flick that switch?! What changed you, what made it *LIGHTBULB* in yourself.
"Ill start Monday" is no more... But thats my point, I mean it when I say it in my head but on Monday my hands steer the car home after work, not to the gym, and they grab the chips out of the cupboard, not the carrots.
On the upside, I have managed to up my water consumption consistantly, so I am capable of changing habits. But eating healthily, and gyming are my downfalls. I have taken on swimming, which I actually enjoy, I plan to go once a week and gym the rest of my excercise days.
I know the answer to all of this is "Just do it" and thats what I should do, but what is the answer when that doesnt work?
When I first started and was doing well, I had my mom or syster workout with me and it was more fun. Life got in the way and I have no one to workout with so Im feelinh unmotivated as well. Maybe you can get a work out buddy?0 -
No, the answer isn't "just do it". That's a marketing slogan and forcing yourself to 'just do' something isn't going to work because eventually you'll run out of will power and won't be able to force yourself anymore and end up right back where you started.
Weight management is VERY simple (but not always easy). Weight loss occurs when you're in a calorie deficit. If you eat fewer calories than you use your weight will, over the long run go down. That's it. That's as complicated as it gets. Eat more calories than you use, gain weight. Eat fewer calories than you use, lose weight. Strike a balance and you'll maintain.
Let me be clear here. I'm saying if you hit the gym every day and eat "healthy foods" for every meal, but you're eating more calories than you use you'll gain weight. On the flip side if you sit on the couch eating "junk" but you're eating fewer calories than you use you'll lose weight. Sure some foods are more nutritional and better for you than others but when it comes to weight loss the only thing that matters is the energy exchange of calories in vs calories out.
The real question is how do YOU start eating in a calorie deficit? That's something you'll need to figure out because everyone is different. Luckily there are lots of different ways to do it so you have plenty to choose from to find the one that will work best for you.
So, where to start? You're new to all this so, I'd suggest starting as simple as possible. I mean really simple. Like 3 steps/rules simple.
3 Steps:
1. Put your details into MFP, pick an appropriate weekly target and get your calorie target
2. Buy a food scale to WEIGH (not measure) your food and enter it into your food diary faithfully using accurate database entries.
3. Eat food you love (most likely the foods you're eating now) in amounts that let you meet your calorie target most of the time. Note I didn't say food you think you should eat or food you can tolerate or 'healthy' foods. I said eat foods you genuinely enjoy (even if you THINK they're 'bad' or 'junk'). Also note that I said 'most of the time'. Weight management isn't about being perfect. It's about being 'good enough'
This will get you started and from there you'll gain the experience and information you need to make further adjustments. You'll find some foods that aren't worth it and you'll find them less attractive to eat. You'll find little changes that make meeting your calorie target easier. You'll find ways to improve the nutritional value of your foods. All this comes later, once you're on your way. For now just start with the simple 3 rules/steps
Everything Danp said, but perhaps I can add one more part about working out once you're ready.
The best advice I ever received, and firmly believe, is to find something you're going to be able to stick with. Try new things and find out what you like, and then make sure it fits your scheduling needs. For example, if you have trouble finding motivation to go to the gym after work, try going in the morning or at lunch. If you find yourself dreading going to the gym at all, see if you like power walking, running or cycling. You may even discover a new love by joining an adult rec league for something like dodgeball, volleyball or basketball. Or, see if there's an online community in your area that holds free local fitness activities. Can you work activity into your commute?
If you don't enjoy the activity, you risk burning out quickly. If you find something you enjoy, you will learn to prioritize it.
Good luck!
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Will_Run_for_Food wrote: »No, the answer isn't "just do it". That's a marketing slogan and forcing yourself to 'just do' something isn't going to work because eventually you'll run out of will power and won't be able to force yourself anymore and end up right back where you started.
Weight management is VERY simple (but not always easy). Weight loss occurs when you're in a calorie deficit. If you eat fewer calories than you use your weight will, over the long run go down. That's it. That's as complicated as it gets. Eat more calories than you use, gain weight. Eat fewer calories than you use, lose weight. Strike a balance and you'll maintain.
Let me be clear here. I'm saying if you hit the gym every day and eat "healthy foods" for every meal, but you're eating more calories than you use you'll gain weight. On the flip side if you sit on the couch eating "junk" but you're eating fewer calories than you use you'll lose weight. Sure some foods are more nutritional and better for you than others but when it comes to weight loss the only thing that matters is the energy exchange of calories in vs calories out.
The real question is how do YOU start eating in a calorie deficit? That's something you'll need to figure out because everyone is different. Luckily there are lots of different ways to do it so you have plenty to choose from to find the one that will work best for you.
So, where to start? You're new to all this so, I'd suggest starting as simple as possible. I mean really simple. Like 3 steps/rules simple.
3 Steps:
1. Put your details into MFP, pick an appropriate weekly target and get your calorie target
2. Buy a food scale to WEIGH (not measure) your food and enter it into your food diary faithfully using accurate database entries.
3. Eat food you love (most likely the foods you're eating now) in amounts that let you meet your calorie target most of the time. Note I didn't say food you think you should eat or food you can tolerate or 'healthy' foods. I said eat foods you genuinely enjoy (even if you THINK they're 'bad' or 'junk'). Also note that I said 'most of the time'. Weight management isn't about being perfect. It's about being 'good enough'
This will get you started and from there you'll gain the experience and information you need to make further adjustments. You'll find some foods that aren't worth it and you'll find them less attractive to eat. You'll find little changes that make meeting your calorie target easier. You'll find ways to improve the nutritional value of your foods. All this comes later, once you're on your way. For now just start with the simple 3 rules/steps
Everything Danp said, but perhaps I can add one more part about working out once you're ready.
The best advice I ever received, and firmly believe, is to find something you're going to be able to stick with. Try new things and find out what you like, and then make sure it fits your scheduling needs. For example, if you have trouble finding motivation to go to the gym after work, try going in the morning or at lunch. If you find yourself dreading going to the gym at all, see if you like power walking, running or cycling. You may even discover a new love by joining an adult rec league for something like dodgeball, volleyball or basketball. Or, see if there's an online community in your area that holds free local fitness activities. Can you work activity into your commute?
If you don't enjoy the activity, you risk burning out quickly. If you find something you enjoy, you will learn to prioritize it.
Good luck!
I couldn't agree more.
A 5/10 activity that you love and will do often and always is infinitely better than the 10/10 routine that you hate, avoid and end up quitting.4
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