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I can never stick to it, how do you?!

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  • floofyschmooferfloofyschmoofer Posts: 209Member Member Posts: 209Member Member
    I don't stick to it, not well. I have periods of REALLY EXCELLENT EATING and good exercise. Then I have days where I just eat like I have no home training.

    I've come to grips with the fact that my own personal struggle with eating has more to do with my brain and compulsions, and is linked to my mental health disorders. My eating is-- or was-- very disordered. It is still a bit chaotic but I do try to eat mindfully most of the time, even if it's a splurge day where I can't summon a single *kitten* to give.

    To me, it's all in the ability to bounce back. For years, I would think-- well, I'm already this far off the wagon/I'm never gonna get this right/I might as well just give up, with a repeating chorus of YOU'RE A FAILURE, EAT THE DONUTS-- but there is a lot of power in knowing that you're human, and nobody, LITERALLY NOBODY, is perfect, and I just try and do better now that I know better.

    So, I stick to it when I have the strength, and when I don't, I give myself some grace-- but I refuse to give up and that has honestly made all the difference.
  • belleflopbelleflop Posts: 154Member Member Posts: 154Member Member
    Not a specific plan but I think this method really works on the aggregate. Every time you fail, learn. Then fail better next time. Keep doing that to success.
  • KristalDawnOKristalDawnO Posts: 154Member Member Posts: 154Member Member
    Today is Monday.
  • minasholihahminasholihah Posts: 4Member Member Posts: 4Member Member
    Hi, if I may share a little. I used to be like that too. Lazy to exercise, eating uncontrollably, until someone told me what I did to myself. I am always been fat since I was young. But the older I got, it got even worse. This friend help me, motivate me, suggesting me, and keeping me in track till I am responsible on my own now. I lost 28lbs so far. And I still plan to cut down another 20lbs. It won’t be easy. It’s a long life journey. But now rather than seeing it as a suffering, I am enjoying it as a journey. One thing I do to keep me motivated, is I’m looking at my old pics before I started this, and compare it with my recent ones. And to be honest, I love my recent one better. That what makes me keep going.
  • LeeH31LeeH31 Posts: 166Member Member Posts: 166Member Member
    My wake-up call was angina. But what really focused me to make the changes I needed was to start tracking EVERYTHING I ate and drank. I did not try to change any portions or choices for 3 days, just tracked what I ate. It was horrifying to see the amount a ate. And I didn't eat huge quantities at once, oh no, I was a "grazer". But I could graze a 1 lb. pack of hard salami in about 2 hours, follow up with peanut m&ms just a handful, and clean out the party bag in a day, make an omelette with 6 eggs, a cup of cheese, and an onion just for me. Nuts or cheese, oh let's not even go there! So what I did was more or less shock therapy. I was appalled at what I was unthinkingly doing. Didn't even remember eating 1/2 that stuff! But tracking calories daily, now with an eye to portions, lower carb, adequate protein, higher fat has made me realize I didn't NEED to eat as much as I did, I was eating to have something to do. Duh!

    Now my problem is not to be so caught up with the numbers because I don't eat enough!

    That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

    "But laziness, unmotivated, procrastination, self pity always takes over with the stresses of life"

    By the way, did over eating ever make you feel better about yourself? Did it make the stress less, or just distract you or even ADD to it because of feeling guilty? Procrastination is an excuse. If you cut an artery would you blame laziness and procrastination as an excuse not to go to the hospital and thus die? Self-pity? What are you pitying? That it takes EFFORT to care about yourself? How about this, stop looking inward. If you die because of your selfish greed, who is going to be harmed. In my case (I had all the same excuses you did) I would be leaving behind family and friends who love me and need me, including a disabled husband that relies on MY help just to keep moving.

    Sorry to sound so harsh, honey. But sometimes a slap in the face does more good than a "poor baby". You can "wish" you could lose weight in one hand, and poop in the other, which one do you think will get full first? (as my Dad would've said).

    Anyway, I hope you find what you need before it is too late. Now, sit up straight, look yourself in the eye and repeat "I CAN DO THIS", THEN JUST DO IT.

    Gee, I really do sound like a drill sergeant! Sorry in advance to everyone I am sure to offend.
    edited August 27
  • cwolfman13cwolfman13 Posts: 36,926Member Member Posts: 36,926Member Member
    xDaynie wrote: »
    I want it more than anything, to lose weight, be happy and confident in my skin.. But laziness, unmotivated, procrastination, self pity always takes over with the stresses of life. I can mentally think all this, but physically I cant stick to it. Mind is not over matter in my case and I need it to be.

    How did you flick that switch?! What changed you, what made it *LIGHTBULB* in yourself.


    "Ill start Monday" is no more... But thats my point, I mean it when I say it in my head but on Monday my hands steer the car home after work, not to the gym, and they grab the chips out of the cupboard, not the carrots.

    On the upside, I have managed to up my water consumption consistantly, so I am capable of changing habits. But eating healthily, and gyming are my downfalls. I have taken on swimming, which I actually enjoy, I plan to go once a week and gym the rest of my excercise days.

    I know the answer to all of this is "Just do it" and thats what I should do, but what is the answer when that doesnt work?


    For one, I think a lot of people have an overly myopic perspective on what constitutes "healthy eating"...and then you couple that with an all or nothing mentality and you have the perfect recipe spinning your wheels.

    Healthy doesn't have to be bland and boring...and it doesn't have to be all or nothing. I had some salt and vinegar chips yesterday evening when I got home from work...it didn't undo all of the other nutrition I had earlier that day or the grilled chicken salad I made with a bunch of fresh produce from the farmer's market on Sunday.

    Too many people think it's all about plain chicken, broccoli, endless salads, carrots, and celery sticks...yeah...that sucks and most people aren't going to be able to roll with that for long. Fortunately, healthy can have tons of flavor.

    As the gym goes, I've never been a daily gym goer. I've actually taken a break this summer from the weight room and I do bodyweight work at home or at my office for resistance training right now. I might go back...probably will...but I only went 2-3x per week to lift and really, I got tired of having somewhere else I needed to be. Most of my exercise is just recreational activity...I ride my bike most days...I do some hiking and rock climbing here and there...I walk my dog...I play in the pool with my kids, etc...I just like being an active person...I'm not really a "workout" kind of guy...just active.

    That is another area that I think people really think they have to be going to extremes with exercise to get results and they're trying to force themselves to do something they don't really like doing...again, probably not going to last long.
  • ritzvinritzvin Posts: 2,400Member, Premium Member Posts: 2,400Member, Premium Member
    xDaynie wrote: »
    I want it more than anything, to lose weight, be happy and confident in my skin.. But laziness, unmotivated, procrastination, self pity always takes over with the stresses of life. I can mentally think all this, but physically I cant stick to it. Mind is not over matter in my case and I need it to be.

    How did you flick that switch?! What changed you, what made it *LIGHTBULB* in yourself.


    "Ill start Monday" is no more... But thats my point, I mean it when I say it in my head but on Monday my hands steer the car home after work, not to the gym, and they grab the chips out of the cupboard, not the carrots.

    On the upside, I have managed to up my water consumption consistantly, so I am capable of changing habits. But eating healthily, and gyming are my downfalls. I have taken on swimming, which I actually enjoy, I plan to go once a week and gym the rest of my excercise days.

    I know the answer to all of this is "Just do it" and thats what I should do, but what is the answer when that doesnt work?


    You have to find something active that you actually enjoy.
    - maybe add more swimming days
    - try other activities (there is a huge number of fun things one can do for cardio).
    - look at the gym differently (or even not at all)... think of weight training as adding strength to do the things you enjoy and as a goal in itself (rather than a means to a different physical appearance)(increases in the weight you can handle will be a more immediately evident reward). And if you hate the dreadmill, don't do the dreadmill. I despise gym cardio - I will never, ever, ever do it...I'd rather run in a blizzard than on the hampster wheel. Thankfully, dancing is a largely indoor activity and snowshoes exist.
    - if you can't control yourself with chips (or other calorie dense snack foods), just don't buy them (easier to maintain the self control for 30 minutes in the supermarket than hours at home). (You can always grab a single serve bag from the quickie mart on a day you have extra exercise calories floating around).
    - There is definitely a middle ground between chips and carrots.
  • hmhill17hmhill17 Posts: 194Member Member Posts: 194Member Member
    Read back back through this before posting, I hope it doesn't sound like I'm patting myself on the back. I always worry about that when discussing diet and exercise. I have failed more times than I can count. That being said:

    I think the most important thing is finding those things that you either enjoy or that you can do mindlessly when it comes to exercise. I really enjoy my morning walks with an audiobook. And the elliptical I have under my desk is completely autopilot once I start. I'll look down and discover it's been 30 minutes.

    Don't let rain stop you from exercising. Have a spare pair of shoes and a rain coat just for that. Because an excuse one day seems to grow into an excuse for the next in my experience, and then you're starting over.

    I almost never exercise on the weekend other than taking the kids out so they can play Pokemon Go or walking at the grocery store. Those are my recovery days.

    Don't weigh yourself everyday. Day to day fluctuations are nothing. I weigh after exercise and before breakfast on Monday and Friday. That lets me see the whole week. So far my weight has gone down each week so that helps me stay motivated to track and be good through the weekend. Not sure what will happen if my weight goes up or plateaus for too long...

    Go to the doctor if anything hurts. I went because after one of those nuclear option things (a week of walking and then the Peachtree which ends up being closer to 10 miles with the walking to/from) my feet hurt every day and after the Peachtree they were killing me. To the point I could barely move/stand for a couple days. Orthopedist looked at xray and way I stand and said this is the problem, do this, and we'll make you some inserts. Don't have the inserts yet, but the one change to how I tie my shoes has made a HUGE difference.

    Won't work (in my experience):
    What I used to do was the nuclear option. Drastic changes. If I wasn't sore and hungry, I wasn't doing it right. I could never keep that going more than a month. Unless I had a significant goal like running a 10K in less than an hour or something like that. Just weight loss wasn't enough. But then once that goal was accomplished (or missed by 6 damned minutes), if there wasn't another one right on its heels, it was hard to stay motivated. And Just Do It is a shoe commercial, not a motivational mantra.

    What is working(fingers crossed):
    This time, I'm doing it a little more gradually. I started with a drastic diet change, but only because my blood sugar was high last time I had it checked and a discussion of my MRI included the words neuropathy and the evil WebMD and MayoClinic said diabetes (big in my family). So that was cut all carbs and get rid of cut white carbs (white bread, white potatoes, white rice, white sugar) in favor of whole grains, higher fiber and more veggies. That was easier than I expected. I also know that completely cutting out some things I love (steak, cheeseburgers, etc) is the fastest way to make me give up, so I allow them, just less.
    Then I started the exercise every weekday. First few days, 20 minutes of walking. The next week was 2 slow miles 3 days and 20 minutes 2 days. Then 2 faster miles 3 days and 2 slow miles 2 days. I also added some of the aforementioned elliptical that week. Now I'm at 2 faster miles (almost 4mph) a day with the elliptical. Tomorrow I'm going to go for 3 miles at mid speed.

  • xDayniexDaynie Posts: 14Member Member Posts: 14Member Member
    LeeH31 wrote: »
    By the way, did over eating ever make you feel better about yourself? Did it make the stress less, or just distract you or even ADD to it because of feeling guilty? Procrastination is an excuse. If you cut an artery would you blame laziness and procrastination as an excuse not to go to the hospital and thus die? Self-pity? What are you pitying? That it takes EFFORT to care about yourself? How about this, stop looking inward. If you die because of your selfish greed, who is going to be harmed. In my case (I had all the same excuses you did) I would be leaving behind family and friends who love me and need me, including a disabled husband that relies on MY help just to keep moving.

    Sorry to sound so harsh, honey. But sometimes a slap in the face does more good than a "poor baby". You can "wish" you could lose weight in one hand, and poop in the other, which one do you think will get full first? (as my Dad would've said).

    Anyway, I hope you find what you need before it is too late. Now, sit up straight, look yourself in the eye and repeat "I CAN DO THIS", THEN JUST DO IT.

    Gee, I really do sound like a drill sergeant! Sorry in advance to everyone I am sure to offend.

    I needed this, thank you!

  • rheddmobilerheddmobile Posts: 4,621Member Member Posts: 4,621Member Member
    What switched the light on for me was a diabetes diagnosis and realizing, from very blurred vision due to blood sugar fluctuations, that these were not just numbers, I would really suffer severe consequences such as blindness if I didn’t get my stuff together. It turns out that a lot of the time people think they want something, but they really don’t. Because when you really do want something, you do it. You probably hate your job at least some of the time, but you go to work anyway. You probably get sick of your kids sometimes, but you care for them all the time no matter what, because it’s not a possibility to do anything else. I just decided that it was no longer possible not to eat right and exercise. So I did it.

    That means no playing around or pretending to care. In your case, you reach for chips in your cupboard because you bought chips and put them in your cupboard, intending to eat them, which means you were only pretending you weren’t planning to eat them. Don’t buy chips. If you live with someone who wants chips, let him buy the chips and put them somewhere that belongs to him, not you. My husband has his own cabinet full of stuff.

    If you resolve to do a kind of exercise everyday that you hate, you are setting yourself up to not exercise. If you like swimming, swim. There’s no need to go to the gym if you hate it. Swim more. Find other things you love that you will do. I found out I like running. Some people don’t. But as far as other cardio, I need to swap it up and do fun things such as learning different styles of dance. I like lifting, but I don’t like going to the gym, so I bought the stuff I needed to do it at home. Maybe you would like classes, or having a gym friend, or something else. Find what makes you love what you want to do. Think in terms of the rest of your life. You might be willing tostay in a terrible cramped apartment if you knew you were only going to be in town for a few weeks, but if you planned to live there you would shop for a nice house that suited you.
    edited September 6
  • SelfMastery69SelfMastery69 Posts: 10Member Member Posts: 10Member Member
    Daynie, I’ll keep this short and simple, because that’s all it takes to get my point across on this issue.

    All you need to do is do feel good things such as cold showers, eating a carrot, drinking 3 litres of water a day etc..

    That’s all it takes, doing feel good things like these make you “feel better” about life and lead you to positive thoughts, the more you do these positive feel good things, the better you’ll feel about yourself and the more ambitious and motivated you’ll be in all aspects of life.

    I hope this helps!
  • cuteangelkittencuteangelkitten Posts: 143Member Member Posts: 143Member Member
    For me it wasn't a day to start, I just want to feel better and healthier. I eat when I am hungry and stay 80% to healthy foods and let myself have treats here and there. I do my best to eat "natural" foods like yogurt, eggs, vegetables, potatoes, fruits, whole grains, organic milk, high quality cheeses, nuts, and legumes. The other time I eat things I also enjoy like frozen yogurt, cupcakes, cookies, and chocolate, The key for me is to balance it out and really enjoy it (even the healthy stuff.)
  • EpilepsyWarriorEpilepsyWarrior Posts: 21Member Member Posts: 21Member Member
    xDaynie wrote: »
    I want it more than anything, to lose weight, be happy and confident in my skin.. But laziness, unmotivated, procrastination, self pity always takes over with the stresses of life. I can mentally think all this, but physically I cant stick to it. Mind is not over matter in my case and I need it to be.

    How did you flick that switch?! What changed you, what made it *LIGHTBULB* in yourself.


    "Ill start Monday" is no more... But thats my point, I mean it when I say it in my head but on Monday my hands steer the car home after work, not to the gym, and they grab the chips out of the cupboard, not the carrots.

    On the upside, I have managed to up my water consumption consistantly, so I am capable of changing habits. But eating healthily, and gyming are my downfalls. I have taken on swimming, which I actually enjoy, I plan to go once a week and gym the rest of my excercise days.

    I know the answer to all of this is "Just do it" and thats what I should do, but what is the answer when that doesnt work?


    When I first started and was doing well, I had my mom or syster workout with me and it was more fun. Life got in the way and I have no one to workout with so Im feelinh unmotivated as well. Maybe you can get a work out buddy?
  • DanpDanp Posts: 1,304Member Member Posts: 1,304Member Member
    Danp wrote: »
    No, the answer isn't "just do it". That's a marketing slogan and forcing yourself to 'just do' something isn't going to work because eventually you'll run out of will power and won't be able to force yourself anymore and end up right back where you started.

    Weight management is VERY simple (but not always easy). Weight loss occurs when you're in a calorie deficit. If you eat fewer calories than you use your weight will, over the long run go down. That's it. That's as complicated as it gets. Eat more calories than you use, gain weight. Eat fewer calories than you use, lose weight. Strike a balance and you'll maintain.

    Let me be clear here. I'm saying if you hit the gym every day and eat "healthy foods" for every meal, but you're eating more calories than you use you'll gain weight. On the flip side if you sit on the couch eating "junk" but you're eating fewer calories than you use you'll lose weight. Sure some foods are more nutritional and better for you than others but when it comes to weight loss the only thing that matters is the energy exchange of calories in vs calories out.

    The real question is how do YOU start eating in a calorie deficit? That's something you'll need to figure out because everyone is different. Luckily there are lots of different ways to do it so you have plenty to choose from to find the one that will work best for you.

    So, where to start? You're new to all this so, I'd suggest starting as simple as possible. I mean really simple. Like 3 steps/rules simple.

    3 Steps:
    1. Put your details into MFP, pick an appropriate weekly target and get your calorie target
    2. Buy a food scale to WEIGH (not measure) your food and enter it into your food diary faithfully using accurate database entries.
    3. Eat food you love (most likely the foods you're eating now) in amounts that let you meet your calorie target most of the time. Note I didn't say food you think you should eat or food you can tolerate or 'healthy' foods. I said eat foods you genuinely enjoy (even if you THINK they're 'bad' or 'junk'). Also note that I said 'most of the time'. Weight management isn't about being perfect. It's about being 'good enough'

    This will get you started and from there you'll gain the experience and information you need to make further adjustments. You'll find some foods that aren't worth it and you'll find them less attractive to eat. You'll find little changes that make meeting your calorie target easier. You'll find ways to improve the nutritional value of your foods. All this comes later, once you're on your way. For now just start with the simple 3 rules/steps

    Everything Danp said, but perhaps I can add one more part about working out once you're ready.

    The best advice I ever received, and firmly believe, is to find something you're going to be able to stick with. Try new things and find out what you like, and then make sure it fits your scheduling needs. For example, if you have trouble finding motivation to go to the gym after work, try going in the morning or at lunch. If you find yourself dreading going to the gym at all, see if you like power walking, running or cycling. You may even discover a new love by joining an adult rec league for something like dodgeball, volleyball or basketball. Or, see if there's an online community in your area that holds free local fitness activities. Can you work activity into your commute?

    If you don't enjoy the activity, you risk burning out quickly. If you find something you enjoy, you will learn to prioritize it.

    Good luck!

    I couldn't agree more.

    A 5/10 activity that you love and will do often and always is infinitely better than the 10/10 routine that you hate, avoid and end up quitting.
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