What if your SO doesn't exercise?

I totally understand. My partner is the same. He's got a beer gut going and is rarely active. I can't stand it since i am SUPER active as I have been going to the gym 4-5 days per week plus running and hiking. He also lied to me for 4 years straight telling me he quit smoking and I found out recently he still smokes. It turns me off big time and its hard to deal with. It can be almost embarrassing since I have been trying my hardest to live a healthy, fit lifestyle. Sometimes I feel conceited about how I feel and that makes me feel crappy.

Mine wont either. I dont nag anymore because it makes him mad. Just lead by example. Pretty soon he will see you fit and healthy and hopefully want you top help him. By then you will also be able to keep up with him because guys burn and lose faster anyway:)

It's time for a heart to heart. I understand where you are coming from. Make it important because you will not succeed or be your best unless you are with someone who is up as high as you. Best of luck.

It is nice to know other women feel the same way! Our partners better watch out cuz we are gonna get super fit and hot and Fabio is gonna come out and sweep us off our feet! Then they will wish they went to the gym with us!

My SO (live-in boyfriend Stacey) doesn't exercise as much as I do, and he also eats pretty unhealthy compared to me... but he's his own person and has his own goals, and I don't worry too much about it.

He did go to the doctor for an annual checkup recently and they told him that he should lose about 20 pounds and that his cholesterol is borderline... but... it's still up to HIM if he wants to change his diet or exercise habits, ya know? He did ask me to help him, even asked me to sign him up on MFP, and I did, but he quickly forgot about it. :huh:

The only thing that works (in my/our experience) is to lead by example. Some of my good habits have rubbed off onto him, and he loves to join me in walk/runs in the park and at our apartment's gym on the weekends. Also, he has been asking for broccoli and salad lately, when he sees me eating it, and has become as addicted to fresh canteloupe as I am this summer!

So, I just leave him to his own devices and hope that all will be well.

My husband always says he will workout with me etc but he NEVER does. I paid for a 60 day gym membership -- 30 days are up and he hasn't gone once and I doubt he will go before the membership ends. He occasionally goes for a bike ride with me but I usually make it less than 3 miles or he complains. I wish he would workout with me but he just doesn't. He isn't overweight, if anything he is under weight but always says he wants to add more muscle definition. I can't get him to even lift a weight.:sad:

You just are going to have to be strong on your own. My husband is a stick, but definitely not in shape. He eats relatively healthy, and does work around the house, but otherwise, does nothing. He claims he walks at work quite a bit because he has to walk from lab building to lab building. But, he complains of tight muscles and back ache and is limber as a piece of steel lol. He has even admitted he should work out once or twice, but that's it.

Sucks, but I tell him that I am shipping him to a home and let someone else push him around in a wheelchair lol. Oh, and he will probably live forever (you should see the genetics on his side for longevity), but I don't know if the quality of his life will be that great.

I exercise most of the time alone. I wish my husband would join me. I have quit asking him. I do not want to be the 'naggy' wife. I am doing this for me. Our spouses need to get to the same point. I cannot wait for him to join me...I would never exercise!!!! This is for me!!!!!

I have chronic back pain and I was told by my neurosurgeon that one of the WORST things you can do is sit at a computer! So if he's complaining about that as his excuse, it's probably because he's sitting too long!

I wouldn't nag him anymore about it (you can't change others, only yourself), but I wouldn't stop inviting him to join you though.

It doesn't have to be anything particularly nagging. He's a grown man and knows what he needs to do for his health and treating him like a child is only going to make him more resistent.

Just simply say:
"I'm going on my walk, do you want to join me?" and if he says no, you say "Okay, see you in XX minutes!"

Just tell him what the exercise of the day is and ask if he wants to join. If he says yes, say something encouraging like "Yay! I can't wait!" You can use that time to talk about your day, but don't nag him about his health or ride him about things he's not doing. Just encourage and support him in what he DOES do and you'll get much better results.

You could also use the safety approach by saying: "I'd really like you to join me. I worry when I walk all by myself, because I'd hate for something to happen to me while I'm out there unprotected. I don't want to give up my walks, because I need it for my health. Do you think you could join me once in a while, to put my mind at ease?" (Men like being the "big protector")

Just a few ideas I thought I'd throw out there.

Lead by example. That is all you can do. You can't 'talk' someone into doing anything they do not want to do.

"Convincing a person against their will, is of the same opinion still"

Unfortunately people are their own and unless they are convinced themselves it's important, trying to convince them will just aggravate them.

It may take a threatening situation to make the difference.

My aunt did it this way to "smack" my uncle on the head. She told my uncle "Honey, today I increased the benefits on your life insurance policy to me. I figure I have to make sure that I'm taken care of if for some reason you kick the bucket soon." No lie, my uncle started an exercise regimen the next week.

Ok this may sound selfish on my part, but I used to beg my husband to walk and work out with me and he would always say, "later" or "another time"...so I got to where I stopped asking. But now, I ENJOY the away time to do it on my own. I'm glad I have something I can do for myself and it definetely helps to get away sometimes. Granted, it doesn't solve the problem of him needing to exercise, but it's a different way of looking at a situation I can't change. Like others have said, you can't MAKE him, he's got to want to do if himself.

I am in the same boat only my man is 10 years older than me and his mom diet in her 40's and he don't exercise or eat healhty @ all. He just don't care. Plus he's a smoker. I've learned I can't control what he does all I can do it control what I do.