Being honest with yourself.................

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ninerbuff
ninerbuff Posts: 48,669 Member
in Chit-Chat
This is kinda personal, but it also helps to put perspective in your life I believe. For those of you who are married:

1. Did you just settle for your spouse? Meaning do you believe this is the best you deserve?

2. Is there so much more you feel could achieve if you felt your spouse was more supportive?

3. Are there times that you wish you could be single again?


For me the answer is NO to all since I've got the woman I really wanted, I have all the support in the world, and being single means I'd have to wear my pants to ground to get any look these days.
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Replies

  • dlangenfeld
    dlangenfeld Posts: 119
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    Nope...I am married to the most amazing man in the world and wouldn't trade him for anyone.
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
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    I felt like I 'settled' when it came to my marriage. I truly believe we wouldn't have married had I not gotten pregnant with our oldest daughter. That being said, had we NOT stayed married for 13 years - I wouldn't have my youngest daughter. So, I can't say it was a waste of my time -- but it definitely wasn't I wanted or needed.

    That's why I left in 2009. Never been happier. Found someone new that I truly love, truly adore and can't imagine not having in my life now.
  • coloradocami
    coloradocami Posts: 368 Member
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    Good for you!
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    My spouse SUCKS.

    Wait....
  • ohwhataday
    ohwhataday Posts: 1,398 Member
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    1. I definitely did not settle. I am an Iowan gal though I've always yearned for more.. I always told myself I'd never settle for someone from Iowa because I didn't want to get stuck here. HA! Well I'm stuck in Iowa but he's FROM Illinois. so no, I didn't settle! hah.

    2. Yes, yes and oh good god yes!!!

    3. There are times, of course. But we've been through hell and back and there again and back again.. soo. But really a lot of it has to do with his family and I and we don't fancy each other too much, so it makes it a little more difficult to want to be with a man that stands up for his mom before he will his wife. Lame.

    And good for you, I am happy that there are people that actually have loving/supportive spouses!!
  • catwrangler
    catwrangler Posts: 918 Member
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    Just wondering, if you are happy, what made you think of these questions today?
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
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    1. Did you just settle for your spouse? Meaning do you believe this is the best you deserve?

    My husband is AWESOME! And no, I didn't "settle" my husband is freaking amazing!

    2. Is there so much more you feel could achieve if you felt your spouse was more supportive?

    My husband is SUPER SUPER SUPER supportive! He is my #1 supported and male cheerleader! I feel I could do anything with his help!

    3. Are there times that you wish you could be single again?

    There was one time, a dark time in our relationship when the future was unknown but that has been left in the past and to answer your question, NO, there is never a time I wish I could be single again. I am very happy with my family. They complete me in every single aspect of my life.
  • jnettiedotson
    jnettiedotson Posts: 163
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    This is kinda personal, but it also helps to put perspective in your life I believe. For those of you who are married:

    1. Did you just settle for your spouse? Meaning do you believe this is the best you deserve?

    2. Is there so much more you feel could achieve if you felt your spouse was more supportive?

    3. Are there times that you wish you could be single again?


    1. No way, I love my husband and he's everything I've never thought I could have. Ofcourse he has some habits, ways that drive me nuts...but nothing divorce worthy or that he minds me complaining about on a daily basis, lol. He is definitely the best, and we deserve eachother :)

    2. My husband doesn't think I need to change, he says he loves me for everything I am, was, will be....but he is supportive in my decisions in EVERYTHING.

    3. No flipping way, I have been there and done that. I can't imagine being single, 33, fat, with 4 kids! I'm perfectly happy with my life right now :)

    Isn't it nice to be content and in love? Happy for you too!
  • Goal_Seeker_1988
    Goal_Seeker_1988 Posts: 1,619 Member
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    I love my man. Just ain't ready for marriage. Not yet...... His credit would bring down my credit plus we fight bout money alot. Don't wanna have to split all the bills yet. LOL
  • iAMaPhoenix
    iAMaPhoenix Posts: 1,038 Member
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    My spouse SUCKS.

    Wait....

    LOL...
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
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    1. Did you just settle for your spouse? Meaning do you believe this is the best you deserve?

    there have been times I thought I had, but those were in times of frustration, also known as bad days, but overall, he is hot, witty, supportive, funny, adorable, concerned and loves me for me, so no I did not settle.

    2. Is there so much more you feel could achieve if you felt your spouse was more supportive?

    not at all, because he is so supportive. Once I told him my desire to enter the bikini competition, he was onboard from minute one. He has gone to the gym with me, started eating better with me, offers constructive criticism that is very much needed and appreciated, because he is not just saying "Oh, you will win, because you are great." He is sincere is saying "move your *kitten*, you want to win, right?" He even points out key areas that I need to pay attention to. I appreciate the tough love and not just telling me what he thinks I want to hear.

    3. Are there times that you wish you could be single again?

    again, on bad days or days of frustration, I think I'd be better off on my own, then I remember how much support he is and has given me and how much of a team we are, so overall, no. I am happily married and my single days are behind me - for good.
  • shanolap
    shanolap Posts: 1,204 Member
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    Marriage #1...all YES.

    Marriage #2...all NO!!!!!!
  • iAMaPhoenix
    iAMaPhoenix Posts: 1,038 Member
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    This is kinda personal, but it also helps to put perspective in your life I believe. For those of you who are married:

    1. Did you just settle for your spouse? Meaning do you believe this is the best you deserve?

    2. Is there so much more you feel could achieve if you felt your spouse was more supportive?

    3. Are there times that you wish you could be single again?


    For me the answer is NO to all since I've got the woman I really wanted, I have all the support in the world, and being single means I'd have to wear my pants to ground to get any look these days.
    Did not settle for her...she married down to get me is what I always say and she is the best for me. She makes me want to do and be better as she is my #1 cheerleader in everything I do. Single?, Hell to the no. I would not have a chance since I speak the king's english, don't cheat on my wife, won't hit a woman, not considered a bad boy, have no tattoos, and take care of my family.
  • NaomiLyn15
    NaomiLyn15 Posts: 388 Member
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    1. Did you just settle for your spouse? Meaning do you believe this is the best you deserve?

    Definitely didn't settle. I got the most amazing man in the world. We will have been married for four years in a few months, and every single one of them has been better than the one before. Don't get me wrong, we definitely fight sometimes. But, nothing that would change the way that we feel about each other. :)

    2. Is there so much more you feel could achieve if you felt your spouse was more supportive?

    He is super supportive. When I was trying to get into a gym routine he would go with me, and push me to get out the door. Once I am there, I am all set. But, the one thing that he doesn't think about is what he offers me. He is naturally skinny, so he eats everything and anything that he wants, and he offers some to me. He is just trying to be nice, but I have to remind him a few times a week that I don't want him to offer unless he is eating fruits and veggies. :)

    3. Are there times that you wish you could be single again?

    NEVER. I never want to be without him!
  • live2dream
    live2dream Posts: 614 Member
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    1. Did you just settle for your spouse? Meaning do you believe this is the best you deserve?
    Well, he saved me from a BAD situation I was in 10 yrs ago and I've been with him ever since. We've had some AMAZING times together traveling the world! I feel it could be worse since I know A LOT of people that are in really bad relationships. But I feel it could be better since he can't handle crisis and has an anger problem that is hard to deal with and refuses to get help for.

    2. Is there so much more you feel could achieve if you felt your spouse was more supportive?
    YES, YES, and YES! Man, I wish he would cheer me on once in awhile!

    3. Are there times that you wish you could be single again?
    Not really, but it's crossed my mind.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    1. Did you just settle for your spouse? Meaning do you believe this is the best you deserve?

    I believe this is the best I deserve... and I believe I deserve a LOT! :smile: Is he perfect? No. No one is. But he's RIGHT for me.

    2. Is there so much more you feel could achieve if you felt your spouse was more supportive?

    Nope. I can't imagine how he could possibly be more supportive.

    3. Are there times that you wish you could be single again?

    No! I run a dating advice forum. I get daily reminders why I wouldn't want to be "out there" again.
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    Now that I'm getting all hot, I would say YES to all of them. J/k... :drinker: :huh:
  • lucythinmint
    lucythinmint Posts: 239
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    1.This is my second marriage and no way do I feel like I settled *this time*. He is everything I could have ever asked for or wanted in a man......now I did settle for my 1st husband and well, it didn't work out obviously :D

    2. I actually have achieved so much more with my life because he is so supportive and just wants me to find something that makes me happy. He encourage me to go back to school when I was convinced I was too dumb to do it. I would not achieve have of the things I do without his support and encouragement.

    3. Hell NO! lol we laugh about this. I could not even imagine being single and having to go through that whole dating scene again and trying to find a friend/partner to have to get to know all over again. Or even being alone and not having anyone there to laugh at your when you trip and fall or break wind when think you are alone and you're not. Nah, I love having a partner in crime, it's much more fun than being single.
  • boomboom011
    boomboom011 Posts: 1,459
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    1. Did you just settle for your spouse? Meaning do you believe this is the best you deserve? Yes at first i did. Now other than my children, marrying my Allen is the best thing I have ever done.

    2. Is there so much more you feel could achieve if you felt your spouse was more supportive? He is my biggest supporter so I have to say no.

    3. Are there times that you wish you could be single again? Just when it comes to cooking dinner :) no way. I love my life and I wouldnt have it any other way.
  • syreetahasting
    syreetahasting Posts: 31
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    I have the best husband. He has supported me through all of this & he has also lost 61 lbs. We go to the gym together sometimes & do spin class & there are times we go alone, We have helped each other :love:

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