Role of the sexes

I would saw if the wife stays home with the kids, she should do cleaning and stuff, but as far as defined roles, I think it should be a partnership where together they work to get stuff done such and the guy shouldnt never clean etc.. if needed he should jump in and help out with stuff and the kids.

To grab me a Beer and a Sandwich?

JK. In our house we both work and have 2 kids. We know there are a set number of things that have to get done every night. We both just work until they're done.

We've got an old fashioned household. He goes out and earns the bacon, I stay home and clean for him. There's alway food on the table when he get's home, I always bake and cook from cratch where I can. It's also my job to have the dog walked, fed and cleaned as it will be when we have kids for me to have them fed and cleaned. Playing is both our roles as is support. He does the money only becaue he also runs his own buisness in his spare time.

My husband has been a stay at home parent since our son was born 4.5 years ago. He takes care of the bulk of household duties (laundry, dishes, cleaning) but I help where I can because it is a PITA to have to do everything all the time. I pay bills and cook because those are things that I like to have control over. I don't think that there are specific roles that MUST BE, more that each family should figure out preferences and equity, form REASONABLE expectations with both parties and be willing to compromise and help each other out.

If one stays home the other should take care of the household. If both work then it should be even responsibilities in the home.

I think it depends greatly on how taxing his job is. But not entirely. If he has an extremely physical job and is completely worn out by the end of the day, I think it's fair that he doesn't do any hard core cleaning. However, that doesn't excuse him for putting dishes away or folding laundry. I think it's easy for some guys (when their wife stays at home) to assume that household work shouldn't be an all day thing. But they don't always understand that while their job ends at 5 (or whenever), being a housewife is 24-7. Especially with kids. There's always something to do, whether it be cleaning, cooking, or keeping the kids safe and happy. It doees not end. Ever. He can't assume that he can just come home, eat what's been prepared, and watch TV.

I believe that chores should be split fairly between both sexes. And "fairly" is a loose term that can incorporate how strenuous his job is. Example: One cooks, the other does dishes and cleans kitchen up. One gathers/washes the laundry, while the other folds/puts away. One looks after the kiddos while the other goes and worksout/has me-time.

Of course, this is all subject to time constraints too. It's hard to have a solid "You should do this, and I should do that" rule when there are so many factors to consider. But I do believe that just because you don't have and "real job," a "stay at home mom" is a job that doesn't stop and you can't be expected to do it all by yourself.

There should be NO defined roles. Even if one parents works and the other stays home, that doesn't mean a free for all for the working parent once they come home. The parent staying home will need a break from their daily activites and the parent who has been gone all day will need to spend some time with the kids. If both parents work, both should share responsibilites.

I like how my family does this: Yardwork is shared- dad mows and mom plants flowers, both contribute to larger projects. Cooking-parents take turns or dad will cook meat and mom the sides. Cleaning-everything is shared.

The husband should do everything the wife can't do... the wife should do everything the husband can't do. I don't care if I took out the garbage last week... if it needs to go out, take it out. I don't care if she vacuumed 2 days ago... if it needs to be done again I'll do it.

Cooking and bill paying/finance are the only things I can see being "assigned", but that's only because they actually take some degree of talent. If one person is clearly a better cook than the other then most of the cooking should fall on that person. There is no substitute for good food. Similarly, if one person is clearly better at managing bills/finances, then it should fall primarily on that person as missed payments, bounced checks, etc is bad.

Everything needs gets done... who does it doesn't matter as long as it's getting done and they are sharing the responsibilities.

When I was married, we had a deal where she was responsible for everything that went into the cat,

I was responsible for everything that came out of the cat.

So should bills, although if one person doesn't work, the majority rules towards the bread-winner, because it's their money.
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What's his is mine, we are married (this quote didn't work)