Role of the sexes

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13

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  • kyle4jem
    kyle4jem Posts: 1,400 Member
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    We both work full time and while I'm lucky and can work from home quite a bit. If I do have to go into the office, I'm out earlier and back later than him, or sometimes away for 2-3 days at a time.

    Otherwise, Jem does 70% of the cooking and I do about 30% only because he comes home, gets bored and starts working in the kitchen and enjoys cooking. I do the laundry and ironing because I get very anal about separating washes. Jem takes out the rubbish and does the gardening. I mow the lawn. I also do all the grocery shopping, as Jem hates supermarkets and shopping in general.

    We share finances but Jem pays the household bills, cos I'm crap at that sort fo thing, apart from the car which is mine so it's my responsibility alone. We also pay for a cleaner to come in once a fortnight because we don't have the time nor the inclination to do the kind of jobs the cleaners do. It's one of the best investments we've made together :bigsmile:

    We never argue about who does what... it's something that has just fallen into place naturally and probably why we're so compatible :love:
  • kimberly702
    kimberly702 Posts: 369 Member
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    Ok... Well I stay at home, I take care of the kids, the cooking, the cleaning, do all the shopping, we share yardwork. And I'm fine with that. No problem, that's how it was when I was growing up that's what I like. His job is physical... but he can't really put that by me because he works for my dad on his feedyard and almost everything he does I've done and still help do sometimes. Short of driving the feedtruck (because I SUCK at driving stick) and changing the oil on a front end loader I've done his job, and more because twice a week I go do the books and work in the office.

    Paying bills is our biggest clash. He is quick to remind me all the time he works it's his money. And when I get my $100 check for working in the office, he has the nerve to ask me if he can buy a new knife, or a coin or something. But then *****es about how much school clothes for the kids cost, when I wont hardly buy ANYTHING if it's not on clearance. As for bills I can do it, and I would do it. But it's like every other day he's telling me I'm either not responsible enough and he can't count on me to do it right or the next telling me how I need to "help him out so he doesn't have to do everything". This is mostly just a vent post because he's really pissing me off. I'll start to help him out more when he decided he can get off his *kitten* when he's home and help me out for instance take our 2 year old to sit on the potty if I've got my hands covered in raw meat while I'm cooking what HE wants for supper. So I basically am thinking "screw you a-hole".
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    We both work full time and while I'm lucky and can work from home quite a bit. If I do have to go into the office, I'm out earlier and back later than him, or sometimes away for 2-3 days at a time.
    ......

    I can NOT stop laughing at your picture every time I see it. Love it.
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
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    We split our chores and we do equal chores around the house. The one thing I do handle is laundry (mine +baby), my husband insists on doing his own laundry (whatever).
  • ladycomix
    ladycomix Posts: 104
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    I've been told I need a house husband cause whilst I rock at my job...I often forget less important stuff - like remembering to actually put that electricity payment *in* the mailbox. Plus I hear they cook and won't whine when I can set up the electronics faster'n they can

    I'm thinking of renting one of those.
  • ilikeher
    ilikeher Posts: 78
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    When I was married, we had a deal where she was responsible for everything that went into the cat,

    I was responsible for everything that came out of the cat.



    :(


    hahaha.... poor guy
  • stormieweather
    stormieweather Posts: 2,549 Member
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    There are no rules on it, and there are no "roles" by gender. Getting things taken care of to everyone's satisfaction is up to the parties involved. What works for me and my partner may not work AT ALL for someone else. And what works for YOU may be totally wrong in my relationship/house.
  • baisleac
    baisleac Posts: 2,019 Member
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    Whichever person stays home should take care of the bulk of the housekeeping. Regardless of their sex.

    Childcare should be handled equally by whoever is at home. During the day, whichever parent is with them. Evenings/Weekends, equally by both partners. (I admit, I suck at this part).

    If one parent does stay home, it should be the one who deals best with kids.

    Bills should be handled by whoever is best at handling a checkbook.

    Shopping should be handled by whoever is the best shopper.

    Car maintenance should be handled by the one who can work on cars and/or can remember the maintenance schedule.

    Yard work should be handled by the person who enjoys yard work and/or shared by both.

    See a theme here?

    edit to add: And anyone who thinks being a stay at home parent isn't "work" should try it some time. (I'm the work away from home parent).
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
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    The roles should be clear, but everyone needs to be flexible.
    I know a guy who works and his wife stays home with the kids.
    He has never touched a diaper or the kids food.
    I don't think that is good.
    He plays with the kids and all, but giving your wife a 1/2 hour break wouldn't kill you.
  • Izable2011
    Izable2011 Posts: 755 Member
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    Well I think personally the roles should be shared but if one is a stay at home mom/dad then they should cook & clean. With my husband and I we run a business. The particular business we run I do not know a lot about b/c I married into it. I come to work to do book keeping, pay the bills, and a few other small tasks. I spend the rest of my day cooking & cleaning at home.
  • iAMaPhoenix
    iAMaPhoenix Posts: 1,038 Member
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    My wife is blessed to be a stay at home mom, and thank God for her. On days I stay at home with the offsprings, I am beyond tired and cannot wait to get back to work so I can rest. Mommies have to go to heaven, cause they catch hell on earth...
  • Magic_Girl
    Magic_Girl Posts: 158
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    We fell comfortably into our roles at home.
    We each have our own Bank accounts with a separate account for Household.
    Before we got a housekeeper, we shared house cleaning. She did the upstairs; I did the downstairs.
    Everybody does their own laundry in our home.
    I do the cooking.
    She pays the household bills. We each pay our own personal bills.
    We both do the yardwork. Together usually, because we both enjoy it.
    Sometimes I play a cowboy and she's a naughty nurse. Sometimes she's the teacher and I'm the distracted schoolboy.

    WOW!!! :laugh:
    I didn't expect the ending! LMAO!
  • poisongirl1
    poisongirl1 Posts: 93 Member
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    I think cleaning and cooking stuff should be shared fairly equally, taking into account how many hours each one works, if one stays at home, if there's kids to look while staying at home (a job in itself!) etc. My fiance works full time and I work part time (sometimes full time hours, it varies), and we share cooking and cleaning. I tend to cook more often then he does (he's not a very good cook), so in return he washes dishes more than I do. We both take turns doing laundry, although he tends to do it more often becuase he runs out of clothes before I do. General cleaning of the house (mopping, sweeping, tidying up) we both do, but I tend to do more often just because I'm home more often and the mess will bother me before it bothers him haha, but if he's home and sees me start to clean something, he'll feel guilty about doing nothing and start cleaning too :)
  • baisleac
    baisleac Posts: 2,019 Member
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    So should bills, although if one person doesn't work, the majority rules towards the bread-winner, because it's their money.

    What's his is mine, we are married :) (this quote didn't work)

    Yeah... that statement hit a red hot button of mine. You're a family, not master and servant.
  • LLaDonna
    LLaDonna Posts: 126
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    You don't need to live a role that you didn't choose. That's BS

    I'm SO using this ...posting to Facebook right now!!
  • engineman312
    engineman312 Posts: 3,450 Member
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    their are no real defined gender roles anymore. you need to share responsibilities, and also give and take. don't be afraid to tell your partner that you feel that they're not pulling their own weight. if you cook, you shouldn't also do the dishes. thats how it is in my home. however if i've had the day off and the wife worked, i will do the dishes. god knows that when i'm watching football on sundays my wife brings me tons of snacks.
  • poisongirl1
    poisongirl1 Posts: 93 Member
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    So should bills, although if one person doesn't work, the majority rules towards the bread-winner, because it's their money.

    What's his is mine, we are married :) (this quote didn't work)

    Yeah... that statement hit a red hot button of mine. You're a family, not master and servant.

    Agreed.

    We both work, but he makes makes much more money than me. If I didn't work and he was in charge of money because it's 'his', everything would be overdue, we'd have no savings and probably be in a bunch of debt. I had to teach him how to be responsible with money and save, and he can never remember to pay bills for the life of him, so I usually am in charge of bills. If the breadwinner is bad with money, they probably shouldn't be in charge of finances, and even if they are in charge of the money, it isn't 'their' money, it's the family's money. Both should be involved in finances regardless of who works more or who stays at home.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
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    You don't need to live a role that you didn't choose. That's BS

    I'm SO using this ...posting to Facebook right now!!
    Thank you, I'm flattered. :smile:
  • messyinthekitchen
    messyinthekitchen Posts: 662 Member
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    I think the wife should clean the home and take care of the children. I think they should alternate days on cooking and dishes. And the man should cut the grass, and take of the things that need to fixed, hung ect.
  • I_give_it_2_u_str8
    I_give_it_2_u_str8 Posts: 680 Member
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    I think the wife should clean the home and take care of the children. I think they should alternate days on cooking and dishes. And the man should cut the grass, and take of the things that need to fixed, hung ect.

    I like you more every time u post:flowerforyou:

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