Do you want people to comment on your weight loss?

leebirm
leebirm Posts: 95 Member
in Motivation and Support
I mentioned in a post that I made yesterday that I'm quite a solitary creature, I don't do things to please other people, I do them for myself.

It has got me to thinking, do other people enjoy others commenting on their weight loss?

I'm pretty sure that my weight loss must be noticeable (I've gotta buy some new jeans, and I can see the different myself) but if someone said "lee have you lost weight" I reckon I'd get all flustered and deny all knowledge and say it's probably cuz I've had a shave or something like that.

Just wondering how many people take pride and enjoy in hearing others comment on their weight loss?

I kind of feel like when/if people start noticing it and they approach me directly it'd add pressure on me to keep it up.

This isn't a post where I'm asking for advice, it is purely your own opinion, do you enjoy talking about it or is it a solo journey?
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Replies

  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    I didn't really care either way. Most people who commented were people I didn't see on a regular basis. The biggest compliment I got was from my friend Heather who I ran into at the gym about 5 or 6 months into my weight loss and she hadn't seen me in about that same time frame. She just blurted out, "Chris...holy *kitten*!" That was nice...
  • puffbrat
    puffbrat Posts: 2,806 Member
    I enjoy the comments from acquaintances but it also doesn't bother me when people don't say anything. I'm a pretty open person, so while I don't advertise to everyone I meet that I am actively losing weight, it isn't a secret either. Therefore, I find the compliments reaffirming of my efforts.
  • Mouse_Potato
    Mouse_Potato Posts: 1,510 Member
    I feel pretty neutral about it. I mean, I don't assign any moral value to the gaining and losing of weight. It's not a big secret. I'm not doing it to please anyone else. Why should I get upset if someone notices (or doesn't)?
  • peachvine29
    peachvine29 Posts: 400 Member
    I don't need people to comment for my health and fitness motivation at all, I'm very self motivated, but I do actually usually like comments and acknowledgement, as long as they are positive! I've gotten many nice comments and it feels good to me. However, I do not like the negative comments, such as that I look sick, asking if I eat, telling me I'm wasting away. If you don't have something nice to say, then don't say it!
  • unstableunicorn
    unstableunicorn Posts: 216 Member
    I think I would enjoy comments more if I wasn’t so socially awkward. I love compliments from very specific individuals, but otherwise I get really anxious about how I’m supposed to feel/react to comments.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    I'm fine with it usually - but I don't need it, either. It's been about 6 years now since I lost the weight and most people have stopped commenting which is a big relief to me. I do think it would be weird if no one said anything when I went down many many sizes and look a lot different.
  • GummiMundi
    GummiMundi Posts: 396 Member
    leebirm wrote: »
    I mentioned in a post that I made yesterday that I'm quite a solitary creature, I don't do things to please other people, I do them for myself.

    It has got me to thinking, do other people enjoy others commenting on their weight loss?

    I'm pretty sure that my weight loss must be noticeable (I've gotta buy some new jeans, and I can see the different myself) but if someone said "lee have you lost weight" I reckon I'd get all flustered and deny all knowledge and say it's probably cuz I've had a shave or something like that.

    Just wondering how many people take pride and enjoy in hearing others comment on their weight loss?

    I kind of feel like when/if people start noticing it and they approach me directly it'd add pressure on me to keep it up.

    This isn't a post where I'm asking for advice, it is purely your own opinion, do you enjoy talking about it or is it a solo journey?

    To each their own, we're all different. For me, it's 100% a solo journey. When asked directly if I lost weight, I don't lie and I say I have. But I immediately change the conversation, I don't feel comfortable putting myself under the scrutiny of others. Which is also why I would never pre-announce to the world my plans of weight loss, or even use others as "accountability". I'm certain that would lead me to an absolute failure.
  • kbender3079
    kbender3079 Posts: 8 Member
    I don’t like the attention from anyone but my husband. I’m hoping for more attention from him.
  • babyluthi
    babyluthi Posts: 285 Member
    family....maybe okay.
    everyone else....myob.
  • emmamcgarity
    emmamcgarity Posts: 1,594 Member
    I don’t mind though it feels awkward at times. But I’ve also had some people who complimented me come back a few days later and ask about how. Many times these are people who genuinely want/need to lose weight (sometimes for health reasons) and have failed on fad diets. I’m happy to share with them how the app works and basic CICO strategy. If me being complimented makes it easier for someone to genuinely ask questions that will help them personally, I’m ok with that. Losing weight is a simple process but it’s hard to do.
  • kiela64
    kiela64 Posts: 1,447 Member
    I find it extraordinarily awkward when it’s even my parents and aunts. However it’s still validating. When I was about 30lbs down my mom thought it was ten. It took till 40 for other people to notice. Even then it was “hey have you lost a bit of weight? Good for you” and then moving on to other topics. It was never an interrogation or big deal.

    However I find it comfortable and nice from my partner. They also notice first after small amounts. It’s nice to know they can tell.
  • SarahMorganP
    SarahMorganP Posts: 921 Member

    On topic: I have funny thing about other's comments on weight loss. O do enjoy them, but EVERY SINGLE TIME I fall off the wagon immediately thereafter :# So now I'm afraid of possible comments due to superstition :s

    Omg I though I was the only one this happened to! It’s so weird. I’m so happy someone notices and then it’s like I start craving everything bad the second someone says something. So strange.

  • korina75
    korina75 Posts: 297 Member
    I just reread what I wrote and it sounds like it does bother me, lol! I guess I should have said, it doesn't mean much to me and I really don't like it but I don't get offended or anything.
  • Pamela_Sue
    Pamela_Sue Posts: 563 Member
    I feel awkward, but also do find affirmation of my hard work if someone does notice. And I like helping others, IF they ask for more information about weight loss. Otherwise I just keep it to myself and share here on MFP.
  • Live4ADandL
    Live4ADandL Posts: 1 Member
    edited September 2019
    peachvine29 wrote: »
    I don't need people to comment for my health and fitness motivation at all, I'm very self motivated, but I do actually usually like comments and acknowledgement, as long as they are positive! I've gotten many nice comments and it feels good to me. However, I do not like the negative comments, such as that I look sick, asking if I eat, telling me I'm wasting away. If you don't have something nice to say, then don't say it!

    I've had the too thin or wasting away comments years ago when I lost weight. Of course I ate enough and exercise and my B.M.I was still normal range too. Sometimes I think it's just jealousy, other times it's the shock of how quickly 'to them they think you lost weight. Also it's easier to notice weight loss in faces when it comes off fairly quick or a steady pace so people just by that too. I'm in the process again of losing more weight this time after my third child and gaining a bunch from not trying to eat healthy and my SO liking to cook together. Anyway...I'm sure I'll get the good with the bad comments again. My health has always been decent with the weight gain but definitely felt better at my lighter weight range! I also want to avoid health issues so I need to lose weight. My goal right now is 100lbs. Years ago I lost at most 40lbs in about 3 months doing low carb and exercise, so not an abnormal rate for most people who are actively focused. I'm not sure why other people make someone's weight their business.
    So yes, I like positive comments....but could do without the negative comments from people who typically keep failing at their own goal so they bring others down.
  • kimothyschma
    kimothyschma Posts: 209 Member
    edited September 2019
    No. I don’t like knowing that other people are looking at my body. I know that they are, but I prefer not to be reminded. Except for my husband, he’s allowed.
  • csplatt
    csplatt Posts: 1,205 Member
    I only want my close friends to say something. For a more distant peer, I don’t like the thought of them thinking about / commenting on my shape, beauty, etc. This would include coworkers. A little creepy plus I don’t want to hear that they think my shape is up for discussion in general. Shouldn’t be high on things worth bringing up in conversation.
  • Katmary71
    Katmary71 Posts: 7,064 Member
    I agree that it's socially awkward. For the most part I just say thank you and try to change the topic unless they're asking questions. I was told the other day that I was wasting away before her eyes. THAT has me irritated, I'm eating right, working out, and smack in the middle of my height's weight range. I don't mind people saying something in a tasteful way but people say some weird stuff.
  • Katmary71
    Katmary71 Posts: 7,064 Member
    denjan333 wrote: »
    I honestly don’t think it’s appropriate to bring up peoples’ weight. I especially don’t appreciate when people start with the “you’re wasting away” garbage when you’re clearly still not even normal size. Just stop. I promise I won’t bring it up that you’re too skinny and flabby, or wrinkly, or you gained weight. To me, it’s all off limits conversation.

    I didn't read all the comments until after posting and just vented about "you're wasting away" crap! I got this 10lbs ago from an uncle and the other day from a nurse. I'm 5'4 and 130lbs, that's normal not wasting away. I've been called skinny and at first it bugged me as that's not the best sounding (I rather I look in shape or toned!), but have heard it enough that I think it's meant as a compliment. My favorite was when a neighbor told me I was looking and moving like a whole different person. Still weird to get comments but I'm 90lbs from my heaviest with a little over 35lbs this year so I'm getting used to it.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,162 Member
    It's not a super big deal to me either way, within reason (by which I mean I don't particularly need unencouraged gushing about it, or dark hints about anorexia when I'm in the normal BMI range and eating 2000+ calories daily . . . but even that sort of thing pretty much rolls off).

    I get what some others have said about discomfort with other people noticing one's body, but if I've lost quite a lot of weight, and they haven't seen me while it was happening, I think there's no way for them not to notice: It's kind of the elephant that isn't in the room anymore. In those cases, I'd rather people said something, rather than just nervously looking me up and down as if they're wondering if I've been sick or something. That can be awkward, and make it hard to get on with the conversation.

    I'll admit to being amused when someone I hadn't seen in a few months said: "Ann, it's been quite some time since I've seen you . . . and I think I'm seeing less of you!" then just went on with normal conversation.
  • mom23mangos
    mom23mangos Posts: 3,069 Member
    I’ve never lost enough weight for people who see me clothed to really tell the difference. I have gotten comments like “You must workout.” Or “you lift, don’t you?” which I find flattering because again it’s nice to know that all the hard work I put in is noticeable.
  • ginnytez
    ginnytez Posts: 1,400 Member
    On the whole I don't mind the "you are looking good" sort of comments (especially on days when I feel really good). If someone comments "you're going to stop losing soon aren't you?" or something to that effect I just say "I'm just about there." Most of them are well-intentioned comments. Some are made by those who are jealous and come across as a dig, but I figure that is their deal, not mine.
  • thanos5
    thanos5 Posts: 513 Member
    it depends on the comment. i hate 'what's your secret?', then the blank look i get when i say i burn more calories than i eat. also not a huge fan of 'you're wasting away' and 'you're half a person'.

    but 'lookin good' doesn't bother me so much. oh wait, no one has said that...

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