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Fair to Request “No Junk Food” at HOME?

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  • TedebearduffTedebearduff Posts: 1,124Member Member Posts: 1,124Member Member
    80CATS wrote: »
    So, hubbz and I are both overweight BIG EATERS, I am actively trying to lose, he is not actively trying to, but does work out regularly.

    Anyway, I have asked that we not bring junk food into the house, but rather go out for single servings when we want those foods (ie: hit an ice cream shop and savor a cone rather than keeping ice cream in freezer, etc). This helps me *tremendously*, as I am a recovering binge eater and a NIGHTTIME eater (anyone else who suffers this knows it’s so hard to control, like being a zombie, so making sure there’s no junk in the kitchen to sleep-eat has been very helpful to me).

    We have no kids (CFBC), eat out fairly often, and definitely get our TREAT on...just outside the home...

    Last night, I found a pkg of peanut M&Ms he had “hidden” (poorly LOL), and asked him to stick them in his car—which he happily obliged—it got me worrying though that my request is maybe unfair? I asked him if he felt “oppressed” by my request, and he kept insisting it was no big deal, but I just wanted some outside opinions:

    IS IT FAIR TO KINDLY REQUEST that my (fellow plus sized) partner refrain from bringing junk food in house?

    TL; DR: fair to ask others to honor a “no junk in the house” rule?

    I think it's better for them to be there and for you to overcome your want/need for them. If you can't surpass this you'll most likely revert down the road after losing.
  • lemurcat2lemurcat2 Posts: 3,360Member Member Posts: 3,360Member Member
    I assume OP's problem has been resolved by now.

    And as I said upthread, I see nothing wrong with asking him, especially since he said it was no big deal. If he had a problem with it there would be other ways to negotiate the situation, of course, but he did not.
  • snaxandpopsnaxandpop Posts: 49Member Member Posts: 49Member Member
    I do feel it's fair. Your partner is also overweight and this would help him also, even though he has chosen to not do this for himself, he should be supportive to you. You did not try to control what nor how much he eats, only asked him to be supportive of you and not bring it into the home. I have read all the responses, ultimately whatever works for the two of you is what you should do. Some of these responses would cause me to binge eat! LOL! Good luck on your weight lose journey
  • frksfraufrksfrau Posts: 79Member Member Posts: 79Member Member
    Sorry I’m late to this discussion. My DH is quite a bit taller than I, do he ‘hides’ his food on the top shelves of the cabinets. Honestly all of my top shelves are empty cause I can’t see anything nor reach anything. 😊
  • nooshi713nooshi713 Posts: 3,553Member Member Posts: 3,553Member Member
    Absolutely fair and I would do this for a loved one if he needed me to.

    To me, helping my partner avoid an extremely big temptation to focus on getting healthier is more important to me than having my own treat easily accessible.

    It is the same with someone trying to quit smoking or alcohol. If I chose someone who had a problem with alcohol then it would be silly to think I should be able to drink in front of them and expect them to stay sober.
    edited September 4
  • MySlimGoalsMySlimGoals Posts: 410Member, Premium Member Posts: 410Member, Premium Member
    If your partner is ok with it then it's all good and you are lucky he is on board with doing this for you. But if he is not then you have to consider that he lives there too and it is unfair to expect him not to be able to relax at home with his junk food.

    If it's the later then maybe set up a very clear junkfood fund that he is allowed and you have a fund for the same amount of money for gym clothes or something. Then when his junk food comes out at night you can't touch it because that is very clearly his and only his.
  • jo_nzjo_nz Posts: 360Member Member Posts: 360Member Member
    frksfrau wrote: »
    Sorry I’m late to this discussion. My DH is quite a bit taller than I, do he ‘hides’ his food on the top shelves of the cabinets. Honestly all of my top shelves are empty cause I can’t see anything nor reach anything. 😊

    LOL, I do the reverse - my DH is also tall, so if I want him to not spot something, I put it in a low drawer or cupboard.
  • kshama2001kshama2001 Posts: 19,768Member Member Posts: 19,768Member Member
    noel2fit wrote: »
    I think it's fair to ask, but agree with others it's an ask the other people in the house need to be on board with. It's not necessarily something we can demand. At our house, we keep minimal junk and the compromise is buying things that don't tempt me but that he still loves. Flavors of ice cream that aren't my favorite, chip flavors I don't really like, his favorite candies that aren't my faves, etc. Also having my husband put his things on a high pantry shelf that I can't reach without a stool is helpful. It sounds silly, but my self-control stinks and a barrier plus knowing it's "HIS", plus not being my favorite is what it takes to me my sneaky paws off!

    Yes, we do this too - flavors he likes that I don't, and he has a bin that he keeps out of my sight.

    Out of sight, out of mind is a big help to me.
  • kshama2001kshama2001 Posts: 19,768Member Member Posts: 19,768Member Member
    I have the audacity to ask my husband many things to compromise for me - and vice versa.

    I am a grown adult and accountable for getting myself home from work - but if it's raining,I might ask my husband to pick me up.
    He is a grown adult and accountable for his own clothes - but he hates ironing and might ask me to iron a shirt for him.

    This idea that spouses can't do things to help each other seems weird to me.

    Yes, I feel the ability to communicate, negotiate, and compromise is key to good intimate relationships.
  • TheMrWobblyTheMrWobbly Posts: 1,282Member Member Posts: 1,282Member Member
    You can always ask and maybe they help, maybe not. Is this a lifestyle change though? Are you intending to never have junk food at home again? From experience if you change something to help lose weight and once you've lost it revert to old practices that weight will be back again.

    I agree it is not easy which is why I keep my bike by the door as better option than eating because I am bored, and spend more time outdoors away from food however I want my family to enjoy their lives and if that involves chocolate and cake they should go for it, don't wave it in front of me or make me something they know is calorific, the rest is up to me.

    Decide what you want more, better health or the junk food. Once you have made that choice you will know if this is going to be a lifestyle change or a temporary health kick.
  • youcantflexcardioyoucantflexcardio Posts: 545Member, Premium Member Posts: 545Member, Premium Member
    I don't think it's fair to ask at all. I don't know about a relationship type situation but I live with 3 roommates and a request to not keep a certain food in the house would be met with a resounding " or you could keep your hands off my *kitten* pizza".

    I'm an adult. What I do or don't shove in my face is my choice, it being in the house isn't to blame.

    I'm trying to cut back on drinking...doesn't mean I told my roommate to not keep beer in the fridge because that's not his problem.
  • youcantflexcardioyoucantflexcardio Posts: 545Member, Premium Member Posts: 545Member, Premium Member
    I don't think it's fair to ask at all. I don't know about a relationship type situation but I live with 3 roommates and a request to not keep a certain food in the house would be met with a resounding " or you could keep your hands off my *kitten* pizza".

    I'm an adult. What I do or don't shove in my face is my choice, it being in the house isn't to blame.

    I'm trying to cut back on drinking...doesn't mean I told my roommate to not keep beer in the fridge because that's not his problem.

    as mentioned upthread, housemates is a different scenario to people in a relationship.

    Usually in a relationship you are more invested in the other person and more willing to make compromises for them - and their problem is, in a way, your problem too.



    It's still one adult asking another adult to go out of thier way for something that person shouldn't have to. If someone offers me food, is it thier fault if I eat it, or mine?
  • Erik8484Erik8484 Posts: 459Member Member Posts: 459Member Member
    I don't think it's fair to ask at all. I don't know about a relationship type situation but I live with 3 roommates and a request to not keep a certain food in the house would be met with a resounding " or you could keep your hands off my *kitten* pizza".

    I'm an adult. What I do or don't shove in my face is my choice, it being in the house isn't to blame.

    I'm trying to cut back on drinking...doesn't mean I told my roommate to not keep beer in the fridge because that's not his problem.

    as mentioned upthread, housemates is a different scenario to people in a relationship.

    Usually in a relationship you are more invested in the other person and more willing to make compromises for them - and their problem is, in a way, your problem too.



    It's still one adult asking another adult to go out of thier way for something that person shouldn't have to. If someone offers me food, is it thier fault if I eat it, or mine?

    Do you share grocery expenses/food with your roommates, or do you guys mostly buy & eat your own food?
  • youcantflexcardioyoucantflexcardio Posts: 545Member, Premium Member Posts: 545Member, Premium Member
    Erik8484 wrote: »
    I don't think it's fair to ask at all. I don't know about a relationship type situation but I live with 3 roommates and a request to not keep a certain food in the house would be met with a resounding " or you could keep your hands off my *kitten* pizza".

    I'm an adult. What I do or don't shove in my face is my choice, it being in the house isn't to blame.

    I'm trying to cut back on drinking...doesn't mean I told my roommate to not keep beer in the fridge because that's not his problem.

    as mentioned upthread, housemates is a different scenario to people in a relationship.

    Usually in a relationship you are more invested in the other person and more willing to make compromises for them - and their problem is, in a way, your problem too.



    It's still one adult asking another adult to go out of thier way for something that person shouldn't have to. If someone offers me food, is it thier fault if I eat it, or mine?

    Do you share grocery expenses/food with your roommates, or do you guys mostly buy & eat your own food?

    Kind of both, we all buy stuff separately but if someone eats someone else's stuff it's not the end of the world. One of my roommates is kind of struggling financially a bit so I let him raid my food on the regular too, as long as he doesn't take the last of anything I don't really mind.

    Edit: Also, I'm not made of stone and sometimes I give into a craving and raid their chips/muffins/candy and stuff that I don't buy, I just replace it the next day...kind of my point on how I think it would be ridiculous to ask them not to keep that stuff in the house. That's on me for eating it.
    edited September 25
  • BuiltLikeAPeepBuiltLikeAPeep Posts: 101Member Member Posts: 101Member Member
    I think its unfair.

    I live with a person (not my spouse/partner) who is not dieting. There is no way I would ever ask him to not buy his favorite foods and snacks because I'm on a diet. He has a stash of about 15 boxes of Girl Scout cookies in the freezer along with some mini chocolate candy bars and ice cream. In the pantry he keeps chips, pretzels, packaged cookies, etc. He regularly brings cake and pie into the house and he also bakes his own desserts.

    It's his food, not mine and I leave it alone. We are both grown *kitten* adults and can have whatever we want. My diet is on me to maintain; not him.

    ^^This

    Do either of you two have BED? Just curious, because I have BED, and I have to only buy single servings for my husband/kids so I don't eat any. It's not as simple as just keeping your hands off of someone else's junk food.
  • mbaker566mbaker566 Posts: 9,907Member Member Posts: 9,907Member Member
    I think its unfair.

    I live with a person (not my spouse/partner) who is not dieting. There is no way I would ever ask him to not buy his favorite foods and snacks because I'm on a diet. He has a stash of about 15 boxes of Girl Scout cookies in the freezer along with some mini chocolate candy bars and ice cream. In the pantry he keeps chips, pretzels, packaged cookies, etc. He regularly brings cake and pie into the house and he also bakes his own desserts.

    It's his food, not mine and I leave it alone. We are both grown *kitten* adults and can have whatever we want. My diet is on me to maintain; not him.

    ^^This

    Do either of you two have BED? Just curious, because I have BED, and I have to only buy single servings for my husband/kids so I don't eat any. It's not as simple as just keeping your hands off of someone else's junk food.

    that's different.
    and my husband was an alcoholic. but he didn't begrudge me my cider and wine.
  • vanityy99vanityy99 Posts: 748Member Member Posts: 748Member Member
    I don't think it's fair to ask at all. I don't know about a relationship type situation but I live with 3 roommates and a request to not keep a certain food in the house would be met with a resounding " or you could keep your hands off my *kitten* pizza".

    I'm an adult. What I do or don't shove in my face is my choice, it being in the house isn't to blame.

    I'm trying to cut back on drinking...doesn't mean I told my roommate to not keep beer in the fridge because that's not his problem.

    as mentioned upthread, housemates is a different scenario to people in a relationship.

    Usually in a relationship you are more invested in the other person and more willing to make compromises for them - and their problem is, in a way, your problem too.



    It's still one adult asking another adult to go out of their way for something that person shouldn't have to. If someone offers me food, is it thier fault if I eat it, or mine?

    Well, in my long relationship experience, adults often ask each other to go out of their way for each other even though they shouldnt have to.

    I gave examples upthread - I walk to work, it isnt my husbands fault it then starts raining,maybe it is mine I didnt read the weather forecast, he shouldnt have to pick me up - but if i ring and ask him, he does.

    He is going out somewhere, it isnt my fault he hates ironing, I shouldnt have to do it for him - but I dont mind ironing and he does other things for me so I do.

    You know, compromise and negotiation and goodwill

    I’m a different breed then. if my man told me he doesn’t want to iron because he hates ironing I’d tell him to suck it up.

    He’s not handicapped.



    Things like that make me cringe. The raining example is kind of understanding.

    edited September 28
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