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Fair to Request “No Junk Food” at HOME?
Replies
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Tried, didn't work.0
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Since our children have left home my husband and I have agreed to not have sugary confectionery and crisps in the house. It works really well for both of us. We seldom eat that type of food which is beneficial to both of us and if we want to eat it we may eat it elsewhere. I am glad that we have both come to this arrangement. I could not force my husband not to bring such food in unless he agreed to it. We both benefit from this policy and we keep plenty of good healthy food in the house.4
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So my question is that if it's an issue now, why would it change once you reached goal? Does that mean your husband for the rest of the time can't have junk in the house because you're afraid you still can't control yourself?
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Out of sight out of mind2
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I don't know a man who doesn't have a top secret stash of the good stuff. A man has gotta eat what's he gotta eat, even if he has to sneak.TL; DR: fair to ask others to honor a “no junk in the house” rule?
If he keeps doing it, withhold until he folds.
(Good thing this is anonymous. The bros would beat me for divulging secrets)
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I think it's fair to request no junk food at home, but if the other people are not willing to give up the junk food, they should at least try to help keep you honest and accountable. I found that those closest to me sometimes are the worst sources of peer pressure when it comes to sharing in poor eating habits. I guess that kind of sounds harsh, but sometimes you need that extra help from those closest to you4
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I think that the one dieting is responsible for what they eat, and that they need to manage themselves.
I appreciate it can be difficult to resist foods you feel you shouldnt eat, but even if you exclude them from the home they are out there in the real world all the time so the discipline to resist/decline them still needs to be developed.
I think its completely fair to ask for help in your journey, for some consideration, but I think that needs to be done in the full acceptance that it is your journey. Yours alone. And so what the other person does is really up to them.
And I dont think its fair to expect someone else to change too considerably simply because you wanted to change for yourself.
Of course, where that line is drawn depends on the individual. Some are very accommodating, some would feel rather put out.
So, completely fair to ask, but not to expect, I guess?
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I don't know a man who doesn't have a top secret stash of the good stuff. A man has gotta eat what's he gotta eat, even if he has to sneak.TL; DR: fair to ask others to honor a “no junk in the house” rule?
If he keeps doing it, withhold until he folds.
(Good thing this is anonymous. The bros would beat me for divulging secrets)
I have never had a secret stash, nor would I ever feel the need to "sneak" food from my significant other. Thats a totally foreign idea to me, but I don't view any food as bad so maybe that has something to do with it.19 -
I don't know a man who doesn't have a top secret stash of the good stuff. A man has gotta eat what's he gotta eat, even if he has to sneak.TL; DR: fair to ask others to honor a “no junk in the house” rule?
If he keeps doing it, withhold until he folds.
(Good thing this is anonymous. The bros would beat me for divulging secrets)
I have never had a secret stash, nor would I ever feel the need to "sneak" food from my significant other. Thats a totally foreign idea to me, but I don't view any food as bad so maybe that has something to do with it.
Same here. Stashing food?
Heck, I don't stash anything away.... no food, no pills, no booze; it seems silly and just a lil, I dunno..... desperate.9 -
paperpudding wrote: »My partner bought home one of those 150g of crisps on Friday night. I didnt know until I came down to the kitchen on saturday morning. Half the bag was left and left on the side. I threw them in the bin. I cannot have crisps in the house, I dont even like them but I will sit there and eat them. I was a bit cross about it.
If I were your husband I would be a bit cross myself..
Unless you both already had an agreement and he had agreed to not bringing such food home and to you throwing it out if he did
I know him quite well. I know that he hasnt even thought about the fact that they were there. And he hasnt even remembered that he had them or asked where they are or wondered where they were. He does this all the time with food, brings food in, leaves it on the top, doesnt eat it, wont eat things if they have been left 'too long' (which is not very long) and so I end up eating them because I dont like waste but all that has done is make me fat
So yes I threw them away. He hasnt even noticed or remembered them.5 -
That's fine then - if he is not bothered and it works for you.
You didnt have all that in previous post.1 -
I've asked my former partner to keep her crap in an opaque constainer. I never opened that container. I think that's a reasonable compromise.5
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No and here’s why. You will face hurdles everywhere. We all do. Find the willpower. I live with multiple people and it’s extremely frustrating to open the pantry and see Litte Debbie cakes, Doritos and so on but it’s MY HAND that would put it in MY mouth. Nobody else’s fault or responsibility to keep it away from my belly lol. You have control and that will only get stronger with time. You can do it!!! I know it’s hard. I’m struggling too. But everyday I wake up and know that the day before I did a good job working towards my goal is the best feeling. Best of luck!12
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I don't know a man who doesn't have a top secret stash of the good stuff. A man has gotta eat what's he gotta eat, even if he has to sneak.TL; DR: fair to ask others to honor a “no junk in the house” rule?
If he keeps doing it, withhold until he folds.
(Good thing this is anonymous. The bros would beat me for divulging secrets)
Never had a secret stash.
You must hang with an "interesting" group.5 -
Theoldguy1 wrote: »
I don't know a man who doesn't have a top secret stash of the good stuff. A man has gotta eat what's he gotta eat, even if he has to sneak.TL; DR: fair to ask others to honor a “no junk in the house” rule?
If he keeps doing it, withhold until he folds.
(Good thing this is anonymous. The bros would beat me for divulging secrets)
Never had a secret stash.
You must hang with an "interesting" group.
Personally, I only had a secret stash when I was I was a minor living with family. I had four siblings, and unless something was hidden, it could be gone in an instant. We're adults now, but one of my siblings will still take things when I'm home. She'll pay for it now but if and only if confronted.0 -
I've asked my Husband to keep all of his snacks out of my sight. He does this. It works for us. You need to find out what works for you.2
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My boyfriend and I have completely different eating habits and goals...what helps is we now have two separate food cabinets and fridge drawers for our own food. So we don’t have to see each other’s food
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It would be nice if he would do that, even better if he supports you as much as possible but in the end it's what you put in your mouth.
I have two teenage sons in the house and quickly realised it's me that needs adjusting as I couldn't ask them to do so. Now one of my sons has changed his food choices for the better (without me prompting) and the other one is starting to be more aware too.
Good luck!4 -
Completely agree with those who are saying it's your own actions that put the food in your mouth. You can't really blame others for your own eating habits. Sounds harsh but I've been through all of that and finally accepted it's my responsibility to learn self-control.
I actually keep a few snacks near me most of the time and wait as long as I can before I have one of them. Just a small chocolate bar, or a tiny bag of peanuts. Things like that, which aren't too damaging when I'm below my intake. But having them near me is forcing my willpower to resist. Training it to do the opposite of years of bad habits, such as constant snacking, eating crisps and chocolate, ordering takeaway regularly and eating before sleep.
There are still two Magnum ice creams in the freezer from about a month ago as well. They'll probably be there another month lol.
You will have to get used to others eating bad foods around you, that's just part of a healthy lifestyle. Every time I see my housemate tucking into a massive pizza (and wings, the greedy sod) or one of my friends scoffing down fried chicken and drinking fizzy pop, my first instinct is to want some. We crave fat, it's genetic from our days as hunters and something we didn't really lose through evolution and social changes.
But I quickly remember why I'm not eating such food very often. I'm safe in the knowledge that eventually, I'll look and feel better than all of them. And you will too.
I mean it's great that you have some compromise between you, but if he happens to leave something out, you can't get mad at him for it or throw it away. Next time, just put them in a cupboard and laugh that in a few months, you'll be healthier and fitter.8 -
I think it is okay to ask those you live with to eat a few foods you have trouble moderating with outside the home, only bring small quantities into the house or keep their snacks out of sight.
I think if you are asking someone to change their whole diet for you to control yourself that is not fair though. If it is a lot of foods then I think you need to work on your coping tools instead of just trying to avoid everything you might overeat.4 -
texasredreb wrote: »I think its unfair.
I live with a person (not my spouse/partner) who is not dieting. There is no way I would ever ask him to not buy his favorite foods and snacks because I'm on a diet. He has a stash of about 15 boxes of Girl Scout cookies in the freezer along with some mini chocolate candy bars and ice cream. In the pantry he keeps chips, pretzels, packaged cookies, etc. He regularly brings cake and pie into the house and he also bakes his own desserts.
It's his food, not mine and I leave it alone. We are both grown *kitten* adults and can have whatever we want. My diet is on me to maintain; not him.
^^This0 -
What would you think if I said I asked my spouse not to have any cheese, ham, potatoes, turkey or bread in the house? I have gone over my calories before with those kind of foods. You'd probably think it was my problem not his because it is not chips or ice cream and should learn to eat less. Maybe we give type of food too much power by just saying no junk food.3
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I think it is a matter of degree - anything that makes the partner change their diet or way of life drastically - no.
But keeping a few trigger snacks out of sight - yes.
and yes we know OP will need to cope with being around others at work , everywhere else - but that isnt really the point
Just like ,for example, someone with a drinking problem might ask their partner not to drink in front of them or to keep his/her alcohol out of sight.
That would be reasonable.
Asking the partner, who does not have a drinking problem, to become a teetotaller or expecting everyone at parties to have no alcohol - not reasonable.
But that isnt what OP is asking.
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I could never ask or expect anyone to hide or stop doing or eating something they enjoy. Grown adults should be accountable for themselves and their own actions,no?. Especially something like food- having to hide food? That is weird to me.
Excluding this scenario- considering OP has a eating disorder I can understand. Other than that I can’t believe people have the audacity to ask someone to hide their food because they can’t control themselves.6 -
I have the audacity to ask my husband many things to compromise for me - and vice versa.
I am a grown adult and accountable for getting myself home from work - but if it's raining,I might ask my husband to pick me up.
He is a grown adult and accountable for his own clothes - but he hates ironing and might ask me to iron a shirt for him.
This idea that spouses can't do things to help each other seems weird to me.13 -
So, hubbz and I are both overweight BIG EATERS, I am actively trying to lose, he is not actively trying to, but does work out regularly.
IS IT FAIR TO KINDLY REQUEST that my (fellow plus sized) partner refrain from bringing junk food in house?
TL; DR: fair to ask others to honor a “no junk in the house” rule?
It's fair to ask for compromise, but it doesn't feel like you are doing that.
Figure out a way that also respects his rights as a non-dieter. Maybe a locked junk food cabinet, for him1 -
I buy all our food so I pick junk for my husband that I don't want to eat. Really spicy chips, sour cherry or watermelon candy. Stuff I'm not tempted by. Then he gets his treats and I don't have to worry5
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Ultimately, your weight loss journey is about your choices, not his.
I think it is more healthy to own it and the outcome. Regardless what he brings into the home, you have to set your own limits. If he brings home ice cream, have a measured out on the food scale portion if you have room in your nutritional budget.
If you don’t, make room tomorrow and have some then.
It’s not about what he brings home, it is about what you choose to eat.
You can have ice cream every day if you leave room in your eating plan and limit it to one scoop, or about 100-120 calories. A food scale or individual portion packs help.
Make new, healthy habits around eating and food.10 -
If you are in a relationship you need to understand what each other needs and not impose your lifestyle on theirs. That counts both for your husband leaving crisps out in front of you and you throwing them away. Basically you were both wrong and then you are just escalating things.
Here is the key - talk about it with him rather than with us - we might be a sounding board however you need to actually face the issues in RL.1 -
I'm vertically challenged - I just ask my Hubby to put any snacks on the top shelf of the pantry. I can't reach anything up there, I can't even SEE anything up there. Most of the time, it's 'out of sight, out of mind'. On the off-chance I either decide to scale the shelf, or drag over my step stool, I figure I've burned enough calories in the process to have some of whatever is up there.4
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