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Fair to Request “No Junk Food” at HOME?

80CATS80CATS Posts: 10Member, Premium Member Posts: 10Member, Premium Member
So, hubbz and I are both overweight BIG EATERS, I am actively trying to lose, he is not actively trying to, but does work out regularly.

Anyway, I have asked that we not bring junk food into the house, but rather go out for single servings when we want those foods (ie: hit an ice cream shop and savor a cone rather than keeping ice cream in freezer, etc). This helps me *tremendously*, as I am a recovering binge eater and a NIGHTTIME eater (anyone else who suffers this knows it’s so hard to control, like being a zombie, so making sure there’s no junk in the kitchen to sleep-eat has been very helpful to me).

We have no kids (CFBC), eat out fairly often, and definitely get our TREAT on...just outside the home...

Last night, I found a pkg of peanut M&Ms he had “hidden” (poorly LOL), and asked him to stick them in his car—which he happily obliged—it got me worrying though that my request is maybe unfair? I asked him if he felt “oppressed” by my request, and he kept insisting it was no big deal, but I just wanted some outside opinions:

IS IT FAIR TO KINDLY REQUEST that my (fellow plus sized) partner refrain from bringing junk food in house?

TL; DR: fair to ask others to honor a “no junk in the house” rule?

Replies

  • AwesomeOpossum74AwesomeOpossum74 Posts: 86Member Member Posts: 86Member Member
    There are two of you in the house, so some compromise from both sides is in order.
    - Look into low-calorie substitutes for both of your favorite fun-foods that will make you both happy?
    - Tell him he needs to hide his stash better? (He can keep in the house, but if you find it, you can toss it.) I'm not sure this is the best advice, as you'll know there's junk in the house ... but it is a compromise.
  • vanityy99vanityy99 Posts: 591Member Member Posts: 591Member Member
    Since you’re recovering from an eating disorder I don’t think it’s unfair.

    Otherwise I wouldn’t think it’s fair to him that he has to pull missions just to eat M&Ms.
  • steveko89steveko89 Posts: 1,152Member Member Posts: 1,152Member Member
    For us I've asked hubby to keep foods I can't control myself around (chips and certain types of cookies) at work and other foods like candy he keeps in a bin that is his, telling myself it is HIS keeps me away from it. We have talked about it though, I did not demand it, just asked if he would be ok with that and he was totally fine. A discussion needs to be had rather than just giving an order, it makes the other person feel like they are being respected.

    I'm with @battyknitter on this. What's always worked best for my wife and I is to have very open dialogue regarding weight, fitness, and food and it's worked very well for us through our ten years together (six married). Now, neither of us have been in a position to need to lose significant amounts of weight, we both enjoy active hobbies (she's runs, I lift and run 5/10Ks with her occasionally) and we've said from the beginning we would hold each other accountable when it comes to weight and generally being healthy. It's certainly been an iterative process to find exactly what works for us but working together we typically arrive at what's "good enough" for us in terms of what and how much we eat. There have been times where we consistently grocery shopped together for better odds that one of us would be a voice of reason if the other put oreos or other "junk" in the cart.
  • 4legsRbetterthan24legsRbetterthan2 Posts: 15,963Member Member Posts: 15,963Member Member
    If it were an all out ban, yes. But it sounds like you are ok with him having his own stash. I think that is ok and my husband and I have a similar agreement. He keeps his treats out of my line of sight to help me out, but I don't expect him to have no treats at all. Luckily he is much taller than me, so he gets the top shelf of the cabinet and it works well for us.
  • puffbratpuffbrat Posts: 1,896Member Member Posts: 1,896Member Member
    I think it is fair to ask and reasonable to have a conversation. If he is ok with it and you two are both willing to find compromises that you can both accommodate, I don't see a problem. I think it would be unfair for you to just outright ban it from the house or demand he fall in line without asking or talking about it, but that doesn't sound like what you are doing.
  • 80CATS80CATS Posts: 10Member, Premium Member Posts: 10Member, Premium Member
    Great responses all around —some great suggestions too! Thanks for the feedback everyone 😎👍🏽
  • seltzermint555seltzermint555 Posts: 9,021Member Member Posts: 9,021Member Member
    What works best for my husband and me...having just very specific "junk" that we avoid keeping in the house.
    I responded in more detail on another thread I can't find right now. But for example, I can't control myself around Oreos and he can't limit portions on ice cream. So we have other "treats" and junk in the house, just not those categories specifically. Neither of us care much about chips so when we do have those, it's not an issue. And so on.

    Btw we're CFBC too (I rarely see that mentioned here)! Cheers.
  • JohnnytotheBJohnnytotheB Posts: 309Member Member Posts: 309Member Member
    It's totally fair to ask your spouse to support you but not brining in the food. It will be a help for him too.
  • GaleHawkinsGaleHawkins Posts: 7,470Member Member Posts: 7,470Member Member
    As long as I blamed others for what I put in my mouth I stayed obese.
  • lorrpblorrpb Posts: 10,219Member Member Posts: 10,219Member Member
    Explain to your husband what you shared with us about the background and reasoning. If he’s ok with it, as he seems to be, great. If doesn’t like it, or is unwilling to cooperate, then a compromise will be needed.
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