Feeling embarrassed!
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sophielula24
Posts: 5 Member
Hi guys. Don't know if it's the right place for me to vent so sorry if not.
So basically I could not be more unfit if I tried. I've never ever been sporty or regularly active and part of that is because I am too embarrassed to go to places like the gym and feel like people are laughing at me. Any who, I find myself in a tricky position now that my daughter has started school (breakfast club) which starts at 8 and my work starts at half 8. I miss the bus that would take me and I've decided to get a second hand bike to see if I can make the journey. It's only 3 miles away and fairly flat but I have total low self confidence in myself and get really anxious at the thought of doing stuff like this. Anyway for the past 2 weeks I've been going out on my bike trying to get my endurance up and I went and got a helmet earlier today (I look like a tool but I have a family so I'm taking no risks). Just did the whole journey to work for the very first time which I found not as bad as I thought I would, was feeling really proud of myself like I achieved something for the first time in a long while and on my way back a car was stopped at the lights and they were very obviously hanging out of the window laughing at me.
I'm absolutely gutted. I'm cross. And I'm feeling like the biggest fool like I've been kidding myself. Why can't people just be nice?
So basically I could not be more unfit if I tried. I've never ever been sporty or regularly active and part of that is because I am too embarrassed to go to places like the gym and feel like people are laughing at me. Any who, I find myself in a tricky position now that my daughter has started school (breakfast club) which starts at 8 and my work starts at half 8. I miss the bus that would take me and I've decided to get a second hand bike to see if I can make the journey. It's only 3 miles away and fairly flat but I have total low self confidence in myself and get really anxious at the thought of doing stuff like this. Anyway for the past 2 weeks I've been going out on my bike trying to get my endurance up and I went and got a helmet earlier today (I look like a tool but I have a family so I'm taking no risks). Just did the whole journey to work for the very first time which I found not as bad as I thought I would, was feeling really proud of myself like I achieved something for the first time in a long while and on my way back a car was stopped at the lights and they were very obviously hanging out of the window laughing at me.
I'm absolutely gutted. I'm cross. And I'm feeling like the biggest fool like I've been kidding myself. Why can't people just be nice?
77
Replies
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Congratulations on taking the first step toward healthy. If I see someone obviously overweight out trying to be active. I think good for them! Just keep doing you and go for it. The haters are gonna hate anyway. Dont let that get you down. Start logging every calorie you consume and you'll be a success story before you know it!26
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I am so sorry these so and sos behaved like that. You did achieve something and you should be proud of yourself. So DON'T give up. Hugs.16
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remember, there are more of us out here that support you than any of these little peon *kitten* haters. You keep going and stand tall! Wear some earbuds and crank the tunes!19
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meh. they are no body to you except some rude creeps. ps i felt silly the other day at the gym when to young muscle bound men were working out near me. i am over it now tho. dont let them ruin your buzz. also at my gym the regulars range from 80 years to about 18. fat, thin and in between10
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I am so sorry! I commuted on a bicycle for years, both as a pretty fit person and as an overweight person. People can be such jerks about people on bicycles. In the city where I lived, some percentage of the people acted like jerks of this kind either way, regardless of how fit I was.
Oh, and as a safety note -- if you decide to wear ear buds and crank the tunes, consider not cranking them too much. Being able to hear in traffic can be helpful from a safety point of view. (I have a family and am also risk averse! Maybe too conservative about such things?)
ANYway, people can be jerks. Wish they could all be nice. It was not about you, though. From an outside perspective, you were doing GREAT and they were acting like immature jerks with not enough to do!11 -
ignore and enjoy. The end result will be worth it. I could never understand why we dont have any large people at our gym, I guess they just ignored the mean ignorant people and enjoyed their workout til they got slim.4
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Don't be sorry, don't get upset - you are doing something wonderful and entirely for yourself. You come first, your happiness comes first, your health comes first. Deep inside you know you can do it - just be "selfish" for once and do it just because you can! Stick with MFP, let them do the necessary calculations - there are so many members out there who are a wonderful support group.10
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I'm going to take a slightly different angle here.
Worrying about other people (what they think, what they do) is a lost cause. What they think and do - you have zero control over that. What you can control is your reaction to them.
I think this is a common problem but a very big one for you. This kind of thinking is very self-destructive.
You are beautifully and wonderfully made. Start telling yourself that. No, seriously. Look yourself in the eyes in the mirror and say it. "I love you."21 -
I think they are the ones that should be embarrassed not you. What you cannot do is let people like that win. You have to fight to keep your anxieties from winning too.
I have a fairly thick mental armor but I still don't like being stared out or have people very noticeably talking about me. It happened just 2 weeks ago again.
My way of dealing with it is to hope that karma will not be a b to them. I mentally wish them a good healthy life and hope that they will be wiser in the future. Well that all happens after I think they are behaving like a horse's rear...18 -
What a bunch of jerks. Congratulations on stepping out of your comfort zone! In two weeks you've probably been passed by hundreds (thousands?) of people who all chose to not do something so stupid. Those people that passed you fit probably generally fit into 3 categories 1) those that thought NOTHING (98%) or 2) those that think good for you (1.9%) or c) I'm going to try to be cool" in front of my friends and heckle (0.1%).
Don't let the 0.1% get you down.17 -
Thanks so much for the support and kindness folks, it means a lot. I'll focus on the positive comments received on my next journey instead of the wazzocks of the world x17
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f those f'ing f-bags and ride your bike with the biggest smile you can muster. Lizzo has it right.
PS. I love biking, but I am aware that society accepts my participation in the sport. I want you to know that I accept you in the sport as well.18 -
I am very sorry this happened to you - it sounds like you are making amazing changes for yourself and that should be applauded!
I agree with the others about trying to move beyond negativity from strangers - much easier said than done, of course! Sadly I have been with my father in these types of situations - he is very vein about weight and makes it a point to comment when he sees someone overweight out exercising. I then make it a point to ask how he expects someone to get in shape if they don't make a lifestyle change. That seems to shut him up...it's like it doesn't even occur to him 1) how ignorant he sounds and 2) that someone overweight can be out exercising. Sorry, I'm getting off on my own rant here...point is, people say dumb, ignorant things...it sounds like that happened to you and I hope you won't let it discourage you!7 -
nighthawk584 wrote: »remember, there are more of us out here that support you than any of these little peon *kitten* haters. You keep going and stand tall! Wear some earbuds and crank the tunes!
Maybe not the best idea while riding. You need to be able to hear motors coming up behind you, etc.9 -
sophielula24 wrote: »I'm absolutely gutted. I'm cross. And I'm feeling like the biggest fool like I've been kidding myself. Why can't people just be nice?
They're the fools. You're doing something smart and healthy. They're just showing the world they're cruel idiots.6 -
Kudos to you for taking this huge step to better your health. You should be very proud of yourself.
There are haters everywhere. They don't mean a thing to you. They're certainly not rockin' it like you are. Forget them. 😉4 -
Lots of people are nice....but lots are total jerks! You should be so proud for conquering your fear and doing this! Do not let the jerks take your power! You alone own your power. Next time, don't look at them. Just take a deep breath and give yourself a hug for your effort! You got this!3
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I am very proud of you for taking care of yourself. There will always be cruel people in the world. You just ignore them and continue your journey to a healthier lifestyle. One day at a time.You can do this.
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I'm really overwhelmed by all the lovely comments thanks so much I feel like it's really lifted my spirits. You guys are wonderful 13
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Go you! Very proud of you! Ride that bike again, as often as you want!
Some people are not only creeps, but worse. Remember the car and stay away from them -- or take a photo of the tags.6
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