What Is Respect?

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  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,492 Member
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  • 777Gemma888
    777Gemma888 Posts: 9,578 Member
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    Respect to me is about seeing, acknowledging, learning and honoring the ideals and principles of another person, another culture or organisation. Respect to me is also about adhering to codes of conduct, protocols, mannerisms and value systems where situationally appropriately applied in a personal/cultural/organisational setting.

    Culturally in my case, every matter including coital conduct between two people of tribal nobility, who are to be be wed is haggled over by representative male elders ( where your immediate male relatives are present) to establish a marital contract, boundary settings ( acreage and relational .ie # of additional allowable females may be added before running the risk of insult), to establishing a home with caregivers etc (think ketubah, only with a laundry list of demands) is deemed as a show of respect both parties accord each other . To deny a girl of good breeding from a highly respected family this, is a show of intentional insult .
  • Hollis100
    Hollis100 Posts: 1,408 Member
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    For me, respect goes hand-in-hand with integrity and personal responsibility. I respect people who:
    Tell the truth
    Keep their commitments
    Try to live up to their potential, who are trying to learn, achieve, and grow, even if others would dismiss what they're doing (people who work as cashiers and maids while they go through college, for example)

    Respect has nothing to do with how much money you make. It has everything to do with integrity and effort, a willingness to take part in life and contribute to the good.

    I don't respect people who lie, steal, cheat, trash up the environment because they don't care, who don't make efforts, make excuses, and are cruel to others.
  • your_future_ex_wife
    your_future_ex_wife Posts: 4,278 Member
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    As far as respect towards your partner...if you set up certain boundaries like being committed...then its disrespectful to break agreed upon boundaries.🤷‍♀️

    What if boundaries were never set or agreed upon though? How is respect defined toward your partner while also maintaining self-respect?

    imo in that case it’s a conscience thing. but when in doubt talk it out

    Well I'm screwed then. My conscious is MIA and has been for years. :laugh:

    idk. you care enough to ask the questions so i’m guessing it’s maybe still there😊
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
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    As far as respect towards your partner...if you set up certain boundaries like being committed...then its disrespectful to break agreed upon boundaries.🤷‍♀️

    What if boundaries were never set or agreed upon though? How is respect defined toward your partner while also maintaining self-respect?

    imo in that case it’s a conscience thing. but when in doubt talk it out

    Well I'm screwed then. My conscious is MIA and has been for years. :laugh:

    idk. you care enough to ask the questions so i’m guessing it’s maybe still there😊

    Perhaps, but it's mostly human nature that fascinates me.
  • This_far
    This_far Posts: 536 Member
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    Is there an element of fear inherent in respect?
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
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    This_far wrote: »
    Is there an element of fear inherent in respect?

    I don't know. Do you have respect for creatures that can sting/bite/kill you?
  • mattig89ch
    mattig89ch Posts: 2,648 Member
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    I've always thought of respect in terms of trust. You have to earn my trust, and if you breach it, it tends to be gone either permanently, or for a very long time (talking years here). Same for respect. I'll treat you with deference at first, if you do the same with me. If you don't keep doing that, then I'll simply ignore you.
  • isalsayourface123
    isalsayourface123 Posts: 2,153 Member
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    This_far wrote: »
    Is there an element of fear inherent in respect?

    I don't know. Do you have respect for creatures that can sting/bite/kill you?

    Yes
  • This_far
    This_far Posts: 536 Member
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    This_far wrote: »
    Is there an element of fear inherent in respect?

    I don't know. Do you have respect for creatures that can sting/bite/kill you?

    I think that's an excellent example. Am I showing the dangerous animal respect or just being cautious? It's a broad word . I don't think the " respect" I give a wasps nest is the same as what I give say a police officer when he puts his lights on and I pull over.
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
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    This is interesting subject.

    Respect for myself ~ Only doing what I feel comfortable with & not doing things to please other people, or stooping to another persons standards so sticking to my own moral compass or standards. Not selling myself short or trying to impress people in a way that takes something away from me. Having personal boundaries and sticking to them. Not letting people walk all over me and keeping my feelings in mind, and remembering that my needs are just as important as everyone else's.

    Respect for others ~ thinking before I speak, remembering that words can and do hurt / effect people. Being as honest as I can and treating folk with common decency. Keeping an open mind and not judging harshly or unnecessarily.

    I think that respect is totally a two way thing and if I don't receive some respect from someone then I just distance myself. As an adult, I believe that you should be able to show people a level of respect or decency or else your just showing that you are lacking in some basic life skills and manners and life is too short to be around disrespectful and ill mannered people.

    In my opinion, people who lack respect for themselves, usually lack it for others and they usually suffer from a whole raft of problems. Being self absorbed, self centred and possibly levels of narcissism. Everyone has off days, but not everyday.

    Girl code is also a display of respect. I do have respect for elders, but I'm not going to make an exception, just based on age doesnt mean someone is worthy of your respect but I do think everyone deserves a certain level of respect. That said, An idiot who is old, is still an idiot. At work, I totally respect staff team who have many years of experience under their belt and I respect their experience and opinions. But if they treat me or others in a disrespectful way, they go down in my evaluation.

    Someones actions can definetly effect the level of respect I feel for them. If there is nothing to admire, what is there to respect? But I think there should always be a certain level of respect given even at a very basic level.

    I enjoy your response. Questions, though.
    • What if respecting yourself and your personal code is at odds with the morals/respect of another person?
    • What is a lack of respect toward one's self? Doesn't that have to be defined by the individual and not others that encounter them?
  • ythannah
    ythannah Posts: 4,365 Member
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    I think that you have to respect yourself first, before you can really respect someone else.

    I'm going to respectfully disagree with this :p Only because I spent an awful lot of my life respecting others but not myself. Or, at least, not paying myself nearly the same degree of respect that I paid to others.
  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
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    This is interesting subject.

    Respect for myself ~ Only doing what I feel comfortable with & not doing things to please other people, or stooping to another persons standards so sticking to my own moral compass or standards. Not selling myself short or trying to impress people in a way that takes something away from me. Having personal boundaries and sticking to them. Not letting people walk all over me and keeping my feelings in mind, and remembering that my needs are just as important as everyone else's.

    Respect for others ~ thinking before I speak, remembering that words can and do hurt / effect people. Being as honest as I can and treating folk with common decency. Keeping an open mind and not judging harshly or unnecessarily.

    I think that respect is totally a two way thing and if I don't receive some respect from someone then I just distance myself. As an adult, I believe that you should be able to show people a level of respect or decency or else your just showing that you are lacking in some basic life skills and manners and life is too short to be around disrespectful and ill mannered people.

    In my opinion, people who lack respect for themselves, usually lack it for others and they usually suffer from a whole raft of problems. Being self absorbed, self centred and possibly levels of narcissism. Everyone has off days, but not everyday.

    Girl code is also a display of respect. I do have respect for elders, but I'm not going to make an exception, just based on age doesnt mean someone is worthy of your respect but I do think everyone deserves a certain level of respect. That said, An idiot who is old, is still an idiot. At work, I totally respect staff team who have many years of experience under their belt and I respect their experience and opinions. But if they treat me or others in a disrespectful way, they go down in my evaluation.

    Someones actions can definetly effect the level of respect I feel for them. If there is nothing to admire, what is there to respect? But I think there should always be a certain level of respect given even at a very basic level.

    I enjoy your response. Questions, though.
    • What if respecting yourself and your personal code is at odds with the morals/respect of another person?
    • What is a lack of respect toward one's self? Doesn't that have to be defined by the individual and not others that encounter them?

    I think that you have to respect yourself first, before you can really respect someone else. You could respectfully offer an apology that by having to do something for your own needs, may put them out a bit and then you would have to hope that they can return that respect of understanding that you need to do something for yourself. I think that shows who people really are, when they show you respect even although you have done something that they didn't necessarily like. You can do something to fulfil your own needs, in a respectful way.

    A lack of respect towards oneself is defined by yourself, I guess that is true. It is whatever you feel comfortable with. But by behaving in certain ways, you send a message and it shows people what your capable of, what your boundaries are, it shows people how you treat others and what you think of other people. It shows what you find acceptable or unacceptable. And I tend to think that those people would also treat me in a poor or (in my own opinion) unacceptable fashion. I see some people who have clearly not even learnt about self respect and I know they suffer the consequences. That is because they make the same mistake of treating others in a careless way, as they don't think before they act. And in order to respect, requires a level of thought process, or care.

    That is my 2 cents lol. I think this is a very interesting discussion. Throws up lots of questions.

    In regards to your response about self-respect: Do you lose respect for a person whose sense of self-respect is very different than your own? I mean, since it is defined by the individual, not outside parties.
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,182 Member
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    It took some thinking but I think I have a formulation of that I can express.

    Firstly, know that no one is any better than you.

    Respect is treating someone as if they are no worse than you.
  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,877 Member
    edited October 2019
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    Vikka_V wrote: »
    I find chronic lateness disrespectful, it like saying your "time" is more important or valuable than mine.

    I've always thought "respect where respect is due" too, for example if you have a professional opinion, are older, younger or in a position of authority, it doesn't warrant unconditional or immediate respect beyond what I'd give to any other person.

    Agree 100%.

    I would say treat others how you would want to be treated but this doesn’t always work. Some people don’t mind lateness and so they don’t think twice about showing up late, for example, because it doesn’t bother them.

    To me, respect is kind treatment, or at least neutral if in a professional setting and we don’t know each other that well. Keeping one’s word and promises too.

    Being honest. I don’t appreciate white lies or hiding the truth from me for whatever reason. I want people I deal with to be 100% real. Any dishonesty is disrespect. I know I’m extreme on this.

  • KosmosKitten
    KosmosKitten Posts: 10,476 Member
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    This is interesting subject.

    Respect for myself ~ Only doing what I feel comfortable with & not doing things to please other people, or stooping to another persons standards so sticking to my own moral compass or standards. Not selling myself short or trying to impress people in a way that takes something away from me. Having personal boundaries and sticking to them. Not letting people walk all over me and keeping my feelings in mind, and remembering that my needs are just as important as everyone else's.

    Respect for others ~ thinking before I speak, remembering that words can and do hurt / effect people. Being as honest as I can and treating folk with common decency. Keeping an open mind and not judging harshly or unnecessarily.

    I think that respect is totally a two way thing and if I don't receive some respect from someone then I just distance myself. As an adult, I believe that you should be able to show people a level of respect or decency or else your just showing that you are lacking in some basic life skills and manners and life is too short to be around disrespectful and ill mannered people.

    In my opinion, people who lack respect for themselves, usually lack it for others and they usually suffer from a whole raft of problems. Being self absorbed, self centred and possibly levels of narcissism. Everyone has off days, but not everyday.

    Girl code is also a display of respect. I do have respect for elders, but I'm not going to make an exception, just based on age doesnt mean someone is worthy of your respect but I do think everyone deserves a certain level of respect. That said, An idiot who is old, is still an idiot. At work, I totally respect staff team who have many years of experience under their belt and I respect their experience and opinions. But if they treat me or others in a disrespectful way, they go down in my evaluation.

    Someones actions can definetly effect the level of respect I feel for them. If there is nothing to admire, what is there to respect? But I think there should always be a certain level of respect given even at a very basic level.

    I enjoy your response. Questions, though.
    • What if respecting yourself and your personal code is at odds with the morals/respect of another person?
    • What is a lack of respect toward one's self? Doesn't that have to be defined by the individual and not others that encounter them?

    I think that you have to respect yourself first, before you can really respect someone else. You could respectfully offer an apology that by having to do something for your own needs, may put them out a bit and then you would have to hope that they can return that respect of understanding that you need to do something for yourself. I think that shows who people really are, when they show you respect even although you have done something that they didn't necessarily like. You can do something to fulfil your own needs, in a respectful way.

    A lack of respect towards oneself is defined by yourself, I guess that is true. It is whatever you feel comfortable with. But by behaving in certain ways, you send a message and it shows people what your capable of, what your boundaries are, it shows people how you treat others and what you think of other people. It shows what you find acceptable or unacceptable. And I tend to think that those people would also treat me in a poor or (in my own opinion) unacceptable fashion. I see some people who have clearly not even learnt about self respect and I know they suffer the consequences. That is because they make the same mistake of treating others in a careless way, as they don't think before they act. And in order to respect, requires a level of thought process, or care.

    That is my 2 cents lol. I think this is a very interesting discussion. Throws up lots of questions.

    In regards to your response about self-respect: Do you lose respect for a person whose sense of self-respect is very different than your own? I mean, since it is defined by the individual, not outside parties.

    I wouldn't lose respect for someone unless they treated me in a really poor manner. But it would make me question what they think about themselves. I think to treat someone else certain ways could reflect what's going on for the person and out of respect for myself I would distance myself.

    What to you is treating someone poorly?
  • lorri71
    lorri71 Posts: 95 Member
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    Something which is lacking in this world today. Sadly.
  • Tinydancer106
    Tinydancer106 Posts: 3,678 Member
    edited October 2019
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    A person in my family had a mobster mentality about respect. He felt it was something you paid to someone’s face. a public show. proper etiquette with or without sincerity.

    We're obviously related it seems😒😎
    💗🤗
  • Tinydancer106
    Tinydancer106 Posts: 3,678 Member
    edited October 2019
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    Respect to me is pretty simple....

    Basically it's unconditional until it isnt....until some one proves beyond a shadow of a doubt to me....that they don't deserve mine any further. I also give a lot of room for mistakes and redeeming oneself or learning from one's mistakes etc....I know I need this room for myself constantly so why would I not offer it to others?

    Mostly what causes me to lose respect would be the way one poorly treats others....I do not appreciate judging others because I know first hand you would have to walk more than a few measly miles in my shoes to know where I'm coming from ...why not give anyone the same decency and respect?? This makes sense to me....and until I see senseless cruelty, inconsideration and extreme judgement from them towards others or myself....I can remain respectful.

    Certain things I can not overlook easily are judging someone on the hand which lif2e has dealt them, physically, mentally, etc... Thinking some one is less because of their abilities, proclivities or just bad decisions ...whatever....I can't stand by and judge or pretend it's ok to judge when I feel it's unjust ....respecting others as you want to be respected is pretty much how I want to live my life.

    It makes for a happier, peaceful me.

    This is just a basic view of how I view respect ....

    As always @CanesGalactica .... you are quite a thought provoking, beautiful and unique in all the best sense of the meaning, chick....and i appreciate and RESPECT your posts and friendship!!!💗🤗🤘