Self punishment
alexandravictoria88
Posts: 138 Member
Good morning everyone,
I dont know if this is me but i really am tired of self punishing myself. I wake up at 5:10am every morning to get to the gym for 6:20 before work. Some days like today i am simply just so tired. I know ill go tomorrow, Friday and make myself go on the saturday as i have missed today. But i feel so so bad about me. You could also say feeling bad about not going is a motivation in itself, but its such a horrible feeling. I get this with food too. Does anyone else do this?
I dont know if this is me but i really am tired of self punishing myself. I wake up at 5:10am every morning to get to the gym for 6:20 before work. Some days like today i am simply just so tired. I know ill go tomorrow, Friday and make myself go on the saturday as i have missed today. But i feel so so bad about me. You could also say feeling bad about not going is a motivation in itself, but its such a horrible feeling. I get this with food too. Does anyone else do this?
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Replies
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Tbh it sounds like you need to consult with a counsellor. It’s not normal or healthy to self-punish and it’s frequently a sign of depression.
If you are experiencing severe fatigue with weight loss, it’s entirely possible that you are either consuming too few or burning too many calories daily. And finally, adjust your schedule and remove electronics from the bedroom to help improve sleep habits.7 -
Hi Alexandra, the thing that you should have schedule that you should enjoyi motivated and compliant. If its too hard to go early, dont go in the morning then. Fitness or diet are not a punishments, just a life style. Its ok if yo dont want to workout one day if you are not meantally ready. Think about your motivation, vary workout options and changed if time to time.
alexandravictoria88 wrote: »Good morning everyone,
I dont know if this is me but i really am tired of self punishing myself. I wake up at 5:10am every morning to get to the gym for 6:20 before work. Some days like today i am simply just so tired. I know ill go tomorrow, Friday and make myself go on the saturday as i have missed today. But i feel so so bad about me. You could also say feeling bad about not going is a motivation in itself, but its such a horrible feeling. I get this with food too. Does anyone else do this?
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this shouldn't be a punishment.
you can change your attitude.
or you can change your schedule.
it sounds like maybe a counselor or therapist might not be a bad idea either5 -
If you truly want to make this a successful lifestyle, you can't attach punishment.7
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I also agree that a counselor might benefit you. You shouldn't be punishing yourself or hating this. You need to find something that work for you. 2
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I’m not surprised it feels like punishment. Have a rethink and create a sustainable enjoyable plan that you can stick to. It’s ok to not go to the gym. You shouldn’t be dreading it3
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If you’re going to the gym every day, then no wonder you feel tired and burnt out. Training plans all need rest days, and it doesn’t sound like you’re taking any. You’re not giving your body time to recover.
In addition, if going to the gym feels like punishment, then you need to try other activities until you find exercise that you enjoy. There are a lot of activities that don’t involve the gym.8 -
cupcakesandproteinshakes wrote: »I’m not surprised it feels like punishment. Have a rethink and create a sustainable enjoyable plan that you can stick to. It’s ok to not go to the gym. You shouldn’t be dreading it
If you're dreading going to the gym, you need to re-think what kind of active person you are. I can tell you that if my workouts were running and bodyweight based I would dread them, but I love cycling and lifting and actually look forward to them all day at work.0 -
I used to feel the same. If I missed a day at the gym I'd feel so guilty about it all week and I'd punish myself by working out for 2 hours instead of 1 the following day to 'make up for it.' The gym can become an obsession. I know people who are addicted to the gym, it can be as addicting as drugs and alcohol. Now I have a healthier mindset.
Try to aim for 3-4 days a week for the gym. Rest days are important. Life is about balance. It's not realistic to give 100% of your time and effort to the gym all the time. People have careers, families, and social lifes to keep up with. Keep saying positive things to yourself. "Ive been working really hard and making so much progress lately, I deserve to have a lazy day and eat the food I want. Somtimes life gets in the way and I take a week or 2 off the gym and guess what? It's not the end of the world. I didn't gain weight or lose any gains. If you don't find the right balance you could end up burning yourself out and giving up the gym altogether.
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There is no rule that you must/should go to the gym every day. There IS a rule that you need adequate recovery time. Try going 3 days a week. Sounds like your body needs some recovery.2
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cupcakesandproteinshakes wrote: »I’m not surprised it feels like punishment. Have a rethink and create a sustainable enjoyable plan that you can stick to. It’s ok to not go to the gym. You shouldn’t be dreading it
This is the thing, i love the gym when i am there, its just the before. I feel so tired! Im a morning person anyway but sometimes i just cant get up and find that motivation to go.0 -
I used to feel the same. If I missed a day at the gym I'd feel so guilty about it all week and I'd punish myself by working out for 2 hours instead of 1 the following day to 'make up for it.' The gym can become an obsession. I know people who are addicted to the gym, it can be as addicting as drugs and alcohol. Now I have a healthier mindset.
Try to aim for 3-4 days a week for the gym. Rest days are important. Life is about balance. It's not realistic to give 100% of your time and effort to the gym all the time. People have careers, families, and social lifes to keep up with. Keep saying positive things to yourself. "Ive been working really hard and making so much progress lately, I deserve to have a lazy day and eat the food I want. Somtimes life gets in the way and I take a week or 2 off the gym and guess what? It's not the end of the world. I didn't gain weight or lose any gains. If you don't find the right balance you could end up burning yourself out and giving up the gym altogether.
Im not putting on weight which is good, however certainly not losing it. i guess a lot of it is down to self image, never happy with my body. I work in a school with special education needs children, the job is quite physical and mentally challenging. I shouldn't use this an excuse but i think this is what the matter is, my body is just so tired. I try and go at least 4x a week. But i fail miserably. My bf is addicted to the gym so i sometimes feel the added pressure
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alexandravictoria88 wrote: »cupcakesandproteinshakes wrote: »I’m not surprised it feels like punishment. Have a rethink and create a sustainable enjoyable plan that you can stick to. It’s ok to not go to the gym. You shouldn’t be dreading it
This is the thing, i love the gym when i am there, its just the before. I feel so tired! Im a morning person anyway but sometimes i just cant get up and find that motivation to go.
You may want to look at your sleep hygiene in that case. How many hours are your sleeping, is it "good" sleep?
After looking at sleep consider your diet, are you getting proper nutrition? Perhaps you are lacking in something, may want to see a doctor, especially if you had energy in the past and are now having issues. I was feeling tired and ignored it until the Red Cross wouldn't let me donate blood due to low iron levels. After a number of tests doctor put me on a supplement, problem solved. Don't self medicate though, see a medical professional.
Best of luck1 -
Do you ever just work out at home in the morning? It can save a lot of time. Maybe you could sleep a little more?1
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DancingMoosie wrote: »Do you ever just work out at home in the morning? It can save a lot of time. Maybe you could sleep a little more?
I have thought of this many times, but again its that negative thinking process, am i really doing a good work out at home without equipment?0 -
Theoldguy1 wrote: »alexandravictoria88 wrote: »cupcakesandproteinshakes wrote: »I’m not surprised it feels like punishment. Have a rethink and create a sustainable enjoyable plan that you can stick to. It’s ok to not go to the gym. You shouldn’t be dreading it
This is the thing, i love the gym when i am there, its just the before. I feel so tired! Im a morning person anyway but sometimes i just cant get up and find that motivation to go.
You may want to look at your sleep hygiene in that case. How many hours are your sleeping, is it "good" sleep?
After looking at sleep consider your diet, are you getting proper nutrition? Perhaps you are lacking in something, may want to see a doctor, especially if you had energy in the past and are now having issues. I was feeling tired and ignored it until the Red Cross wouldn't let me donate blood due to low iron levels. After a number of tests doctor put me on a supplement, problem solved. Don't self medicate though, see a medical professional.
Best of luck
Thank you for all the suggestions. Ive had blood tests and they have all come out fine. My vitamin D tends to drop quite low especially living in the UK. i try to sleep 8 hours however i am a light sleeper and wake up frequently but get back to sleep.0 -
I can relate to that feeling too. I think I’m honestly a little addicted to the feeling that exercise gives me. It sets me up for the rest of the day so I force myself to get it done in the mornings, but like yourself sometimes I just feel exhausted.
I’ve lowered my workout plan to 3 maybe 4 times a week now and tried not to be too hard on myself.
Rest days are just as important.1 -
I've been delving deep into philosophy over the past few years and looking at the various solutions to this.
At the core it is nothing more than a shift in perception. You're looking at this as punishment whereas another is looking at this as a precious gift. I've been looking at this as a matter of sacrificing present for future, but there's another element to this - one I believe lies in the difference between motivation, which is baser and emotional - and inspiration, which is executive and transcends pain/pleasure.
What is your goal in this? Is this aesthetic? Exercise isn't much of an end goal, but an activity serving a higher purpose - climb mountains, finishing marathons - even this higher purpose is to serve a higher goal - seeking grace/pursuit of happiness.5 -
alexandravictoria88 wrote: »DancingMoosie wrote: »Do you ever just work out at home in the morning? It can save a lot of time. Maybe you could sleep a little more?
I have thought of this many times, but again its that negative thinking process, am i really doing a good work out at home without equipment?
You could use equipment at home. I have a step, dumbbells, pull up bar. You don't have to go to the gym to get a good workout. Equipment does not equal good workout. I can go outside and run, is that not a good workout? I can use my step and dumbbells and do a video by The Firm or do a kickboxing video which needs no equipment. I get a good workout every morning at home before work. I use the weight room 2-3x/wk after work to get in my strength training. But none of this is for punishment. It is for cardiovascular fitness, strength, aesthetics, to boost self esteem, etc.2 -
You have a job that is emotionally challenging, tbh it sounds like it all might be a bit much.
Do you have to go in the morning? Would it be possible to go in the early evening, that way you get a bit more sleep and get to re-set between work and home.
I would also suggest looking at different work outs that might feel more restorative. Yoga or swimming for example.
The only thing I can do in the mornings is swim or run, repetitive, meditative actions. It's worth doing and sets me up, but I don't have the mental capacity at 6am for classes or anything that requires thought!2 -
littlegreenparrot1 wrote: »You have a job that is emotionally challenging, tbh it sounds like it all might be a bit much.
Do you have to go in the morning? Would it be possible to go in the early evening, that way you get a bit more sleep and get to re-set between work and home.
I would also suggest looking at different work outs that might feel more restorative. Yoga or swimming for example.
The only thing I can do in the mornings is swim or run, repetitive, meditative actions. It's worth doing and sets me up, but I don't have the mental capacity at 6am for classes or anything that requires thought!
Yes it is very mentally challenging and unfortunately after work i am absolutely exhausted all i want to do is go home and switch off.. but then again its all about adapting. I would love to start classes and most definitely yoga!
Yes a lot of people think im crazy for going at 6:15 am in the morning but believe it or not when i wake up and im not exhausted i am at my most energetic lol.0 -
alexandravictoria88 wrote: »Good morning everyone,
I dont know if this is me but i really am tired of self punishing myself. I wake up at 5:10am every morning to get to the gym for 6:20 before work. Some days like today i am simply just so tired. I know ill go tomorrow, Friday and make myself go on the saturday as i have missed today. But i feel so so bad about me. You could also say feeling bad about not going is a motivation in itself, but its such a horrible feeling. I get this with food too. Does anyone else do this?
I have a horrible habit of not allowing myself food until after I workout (DEFINITELY NOT RECOMMENDED, had to put that in there before someone starts yelling at me about it).I'm working on it.
I find going to the gym or just running on the treadmill so boring so I have to find different workouts to do. I like going on youtube to find new workouts or I have apps like skimble and yoga apps, just to change it up you know.0 -
I go through these types of slumps where the motivation is non existent, everything seems like a chore etc etc even though if I actually do it, I love it and feel great. I tend to see that as needing a break from things for a week or so, or mix up what im doing to give me a new interest in something.0
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I can so relate to this. I used to be in a constant cycle of skipping work out days due to being so tired. Then ‘making up for it’ at the next workout. Same with food. I would restrict more to lose weight & ‘make up’ for not working out, then go on a binge at the weekend because I’d not had enough calories in the week etc. I was so miserable and it was exhausting having those thoughts.
Some people say it may be depression, or even a type of eating disorder. The good thing is that you recognise it now! My tips to overcome it are:
1. Get enough sleep. Get an extra hour if you can. Turn off your phone & TV an hour before bed. I can’t stress how important sleep is.
2. Look after you! Have a bath, a massage every month, read a book or just do something you like to switch your mind off. Be kind to yourself. You’re not a machine.
3. Exercise is only a small part of weight loss/maintenance. 70-80% is diet. Yes, exercise is important but you can be fit and only work out twice a week. Calories are the biggest factor
4. Try something new, or fun for exercise. Swim? Go for a walk/jog outside. Play a sport, dance, yoga. Are there any classes at your gym you’ve not tried out? Maybe mixing it up & enjoying it will have a different effect on you
It’s so hard to snap out of that thought process but when you start getting those thoughts, stop and say I am in control of the thoughts, they should not control you. Tell them to go away.1 -
alexandravictoria88 wrote: »I used to feel the same. If I missed a day at the gym I'd feel so guilty about it all week and I'd punish myself by working out for 2 hours instead of 1 the following day to 'make up for it.' The gym can become an obsession. I know people who are addicted to the gym, it can be as addicting as drugs and alcohol. Now I have a healthier mindset.
Try to aim for 3-4 days a week for the gym. Rest days are important. Life is about balance. It's not realistic to give 100% of your time and effort to the gym all the time. People have careers, families, and social lifes to keep up with. Keep saying positive things to yourself. "Ive been working really hard and making so much progress lately, I deserve to have a lazy day and eat the food I want. Somtimes life gets in the way and I take a week or 2 off the gym and guess what? It's not the end of the world. I didn't gain weight or lose any gains. If you don't find the right balance you could end up burning yourself out and giving up the gym altogether.
Im not putting on weight which is good, however certainly not losing it. i guess a lot of it is down to self image, never happy with my body. I work in a school with special education needs children, the job is quite physical and mentally challenging. I shouldn't use this an excuse but i think this is what the matter is, my body is just so tired. I try and go at least 4x a week. But i fail miserably. My bf is addicted to the gym so i sometimes feel the added pressure
I work in Special Ed world too -- and it is mentally, emotionally, and often physically exhausting... I wonder if what you need is a different workout set up.
First, you're probably getting up pretty early to get to work as an educator already. Getting up extra early might be more stressful than the benefits. That doesn't mean no workouts -- just consider working out at home. Or work out at a different time. Early morning is great for many people but it doesn't work for everyone.
If I work out in the mornings, I often try to do workouts that do not involve showering: yoga, walking, weight workouts, etc. Saves a lot of time. Also, I'm not trying to force my body into a hard workout when it feels better easing into the day.
Second, perhaps your gym is overloading you sensory-wise. Special educators have to be very sensitive and perceptive and focused and that takes mental and emotional focus. Going into a gym with booming music, bright lights, etc. might overload your system. After a difficult day of working with students, I usually find that sort of environment exhausting rather than pleasantly stimulating.
There's a reason yoga is very popular with Special Educators -- and don't underestimate the workout you can get. It tends to meet both the physical and mental needs of nurturing people.
Also consider classes like Zumba. While Zumba does have loud music and sometimes lights, the sensory input is different than a gym.
Just something to consider. Sometimes just considering timing, the environment, and what works and what doesn't makes all the difference. It's not just for intensive need students.
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I wouldn’t recommend doing anything that seems like punishment. For me, sleep is priority number one, then diet, then exercise. The best thing I ever did for my fitness was to stop torchering myself. If I honestly don’t want to do something, I just don’t. It improves my mood and allows me to enjoy my workouts.
For homeworkouts, you can do planks, pushups, squats, lunges ect. There are lots of videos.
Also, low vitamin D can cause seasonal affect disorder. We call it SAD for short because it makes you depressed. Maybe your doctor can give you a supplement?1 -
kenyonhaff wrote: »alexandravictoria88 wrote: »I used to feel the same. If I missed a day at the gym I'd feel so guilty about it all week and I'd punish myself by working out for 2 hours instead of 1 the following day to 'make up for it.' The gym can become an obsession. I know people who are addicted to the gym, it can be as addicting as drugs and alcohol. Now I have a healthier mindset.
Try to aim for 3-4 days a week for the gym. Rest days are important. Life is about balance. It's not realistic to give 100% of your time and effort to the gym all the time. People have careers, families, and social lifes to keep up with. Keep saying positive things to yourself. "Ive been working really hard and making so much progress lately, I deserve to have a lazy day and eat the food I want. Somtimes life gets in the way and I take a week or 2 off the gym and guess what? It's not the end of the world. I didn't gain weight or lose any gains. If you don't find the right balance you could end up burning yourself out and giving up the gym altogether.
Im not putting on weight which is good, however certainly not losing it. i guess a lot of it is down to self image, never happy with my body. I work in a school with special education needs children, the job is quite physical and mentally challenging. I shouldn't use this an excuse but i think this is what the matter is, my body is just so tired. I try and go at least 4x a week. But i fail miserably. My bf is addicted to the gym so i sometimes feel the added pressure
I work in Special Ed world too -- and it is mentally, emotionally, and often physically exhausting... I wonder if what you need is a different workout set up.
First, you're probably getting up pretty early to get to work as an educator already. Getting up extra early might be more stressful than the benefits. That doesn't mean no workouts -- just consider working out at home. Or work out at a different time. Early morning is great for many people but it doesn't work for everyone.
If I work out in the mornings, I often try to do workouts that do not involve showering: yoga, walking, weight workouts, etc. Saves a lot of time. Also, I'm not trying to force my body into a hard workout when it feels better easing into the day.
Second, perhaps your gym is overloading you sensory-wise. Special educators have to be very sensitive and perceptive and focused and that takes mental and emotional focus. Going into a gym with booming music, bright lights, etc. might overload your system. After a difficult day of working with students, I usually find that sort of environment exhausting rather than pleasantly stimulating.
There's a reason yoga is very popular with Special Educators -- and don't underestimate the workout you can get. It tends to meet both the physical and mental needs of nurturing people.
Also consider classes like Zumba. While Zumba does have loud music and sometimes lights, the sensory input is different than a gym.
Just something to consider. Sometimes just considering timing, the environment, and what works and what doesn't makes all the difference. It's not just for intensive need students.
Loved this reply as its from someone who understands my world. I didnt realise how much working at an SEN school could affect me this much, as much as i love my job. I want to start yoga and have been thinking about going after work. As tired as i am in the mornings and having to get up at 5:15 to go before work, i find i have more energy to go then rather than when i finish work because like you said i dont want to be around noise and lights etc.. if i go at least 4x a week to thr gym and incorporate yoga 2x i think it would do me wonders. Thank you so much for your reply.2
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