Politely saying No Thank You...

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Replies

  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    When it comes to workplace freebies, potluck, special occasions, holidays with family, etc...I usually use the "trick" of being really vocal about 1 particular thing I enjoy and it keeps people off my back. For example, I like my mom's peanut butter fudge and I make a big deal about it. No one really notices that I didn't even try the sugar cookies, cake, or green bean casserole...they know I'm all about the fudge. Silly example but it really works. At work, they know I don't care about most treats but if there are donuts from 1 particular place I love, I'll always have one. I know this is kind of a roundabout "solution" but I have had good luck with it.

    Honestly, some people really only seem to give you a hard time if you take the "I'm eating healthy, I won't eat anything x, y or z" path. It's like a challenge to them, I guess.

    I didn't give you the disagree btw.

    It is not always taken as a challenge. Sometimes it is taken as virtue signalling. When you call what you do "healthy" you are suggesting what they are eating is not. This is why I like to say that I am not eating healthy I am eating a healthy number of calories. As long as I take care of my base nutritional needs the type of food I eat doesn't matter. I get healthier losing weight even if it includes pizza, pie, and/or potato chips.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,742 Member
    NovusDies wrote: »
    When it comes to workplace freebies, potluck, special occasions, holidays with family, etc...I usually use the "trick" of being really vocal about 1 particular thing I enjoy and it keeps people off my back. For example, I like my mom's peanut butter fudge and I make a big deal about it. No one really notices that I didn't even try the sugar cookies, cake, or green bean casserole...they know I'm all about the fudge. Silly example but it really works. At work, they know I don't care about most treats but if there are donuts from 1 particular place I love, I'll always have one. I know this is kind of a roundabout "solution" but I have had good luck with it.

    Honestly, some people really only seem to give you a hard time if you take the "I'm eating healthy, I won't eat anything x, y or z" path. It's like a challenge to them, I guess.

    I didn't give you the disagree btw.

    It is not always taken as a challenge. Sometimes it is taken as virtue signalling. When you call what you do "healthy" you are suggesting what they are eating is not. This is why I like to say that I am not eating healthy I am eating a healthy number of calories. As long as I take care of my base nutritional needs the type of food I eat doesn't matter. I get healthier losing weight even if it includes pizza, pie, and/or potato chips.

    Absolutely...virtue signaling is a better example of what I meant, honestly, when I said "like a challenge".
    And sometimes more like an affront, to many.
  • snippitychic
    snippitychic Posts: 9 Member
    If you’re having lunch with your husband why can’t you both bring food from home?
  • lalalacroix
    lalalacroix Posts: 834 Member
    My husband used to binge eat sweets in bed right before he fell asleep. This happened during the first 50 pounds of my weight loss. (He's since quit and lost weight)

    I knew that if I did the nightly sweets binge with him that I would not only not lose weight, but would gain more.

    So I decided to have my own treat every night. Sometimes it was yogurt and fruit or low cal ice cream or just fruit.

    My point is figure it out. You could plan a cheeseburger in your lunch, but you said you don't really like them. You could have a salad or eat at work and just have a diet soda or even a yogurt parfait. You could tell your spouse that you get to pick the restaurant every other day. There's literally a ton of options here.

    The only person who can really derail your plan is you.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,843 Member
    When it comes to workplace freebies, potluck, special occasions, holidays with family, etc...I usually use the "trick" of being really vocal about 1 particular thing I enjoy and it keeps people off my back. For example, I like my mom's peanut butter fudge and I make a big deal about it. No one really notices that I didn't even try the sugar cookies, cake, or green bean casserole...they know I'm all about the fudge. Silly example but it really works. At work, they know I don't care about most treats but if there are donuts from 1 particular place I love, I'll always have one. I know this is kind of a roundabout "solution" but I have had good luck with it.

    Honestly, some people really only seem to give you a hard time if you take the "I'm eating healthy, I won't eat anything x, y or z" path. It's like a challenge to them, I guess.

    I do this at our 4th of July extravaganza - I say that I am saving room for the peach cobbler and everyone gets that. Plus I fill my plate with lower calorie options.

    Also, I make brownies so that there is more peach cobbler for me, MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
  • VioletRojo
    VioletRojo Posts: 596 Member
    It is not impolite to turn down food, but it is impolite to push food on others. When offered food I don't want I just say, "no, thank you". If the person repeats the offer or starts to get pushy, I repeat the same words a bit more emphatically. Don't let other people have power over what you eat.
  • RenaSkam
    RenaSkam Posts: 16 Member
    edited October 2019
    I was in your same shoes for YEARS!!! I'd bring a healthy lunch to work & then someone mentions pizza, what do I do??? Almost every day there is some sort of goodie by the coffee pot, and I would indulge. It was never a small amount, always at least 2 servings if not more. THEN I had my "ah ha" moment when booking flights for our vacation, realizing I'd have to book 1st class for me because I don't fit into the coach seats at 342.8 lbs. How sad is that???? Then & there I made up my mind what mattered more to me and I have not looked back, yet! I do a lot of food prep on weekends so I can just grab a container out of the fridge in the morning as I head to the YMCA before work. It's only been 2 weeks but I can already feel the difference, down 7 lbs and cloths are starting to fit differently, I have more pep in my step because I am eating healthy and not filling up on junk & tons of carbs every day. You just have to find your "reason" for wanting to become healthy, the rest will come naturally. P.S. When someone tries to force you to eat something you don't want to just tell them NO, you don't want to poison your body with crap! No means NO, no matter what the situation.
  • michellesorace
    michellesorace Posts: 7 Member
    Ugh! I totally understand how you feel! At first I didn't want anyone knowing I was "on a diet" so at work I would just say I wasn't hungry and that I would have some later. As my coworkers saw that I am working hard to lose weight they stopped pushing so much. Now a lot of them are trying to make healthier choices with me!

    As for eating out, my fiance and I go out to eat every Saturday. What helped me, was spending the time to put in my phone what I could eat at each place we might possibly go to. When I want to indulge I do it, but it is a conscious decision I have made ahead of time. Panera is fantastic, their website lets you customize your meal and it shows you all the calories. Before we get to the restaurant, I have already decided what I will be having.

    Another silly thing that I have to do, is not look. I don't look at the menu once I've decided. If someone is eating fries in front of me, I will look anywhere but at those damn fries. I have even left the room. If I am truly craving fries I will work them into my calories for the day.

    Don't let yourself get too hungry is another big help. I chug water like my life depends on it. At night I drink sparkling water and that fills you up a lot too!

    Good luck and don't give up! One moment of weakness doesn't need to derail your whole day. Just log the calories and try to do better.
  • qwebster01
    qwebster01 Posts: 22 Member
    tell them you go with them but you will eat salad, water, or coffee/tea.
  • aries68mc
    aries68mc Posts: 173 Member
    It is not mean if you say no. My co-workers know I am losing weight so it's no biggie for me to decline something I can't eat. I have lots of support there. I'm not married, but if I were I would hope he would be supportive as well.
  • PAV8888
    PAV8888 Posts: 13,393 Member
    edited October 2019
    I see a lot of excellent advice; but I am also very confused with some of the fast food issues! I regularly eat a small Wendy's chili (~250 with crackers) or pour it over one of their *plain* baked potatoes without crackers (~500) or have a vanilla cone and extra large black coffee or diet/zero coke at McDonald's (220-350 depending on vanilla cone size lottery).

    I write this after my midnight dog walk after just finishig a *large* chicken noodle soup at Tim Horton's (under 180 by itself; under 500 with the up-sized whole wheat bread and 5g of whipped butter and extra large black decaf).

    Most places have breakfast items that are sub 350. You don't have to order fries every time, or even ever (a small McDfry is 250 in Canada and so is a vanilla cone, I know which one I like better 🤣)

    Sure, it is not easy to fit in a 1200 day, but if it also serves as a delayed breakfast or in conjunction with the 1500+ day *most* people ought to be having, there are a LOT of faster food options that can come in under 500 for a snack/meal.... including bringing your own yougurt or salad or packed lunch and eating it at the same table as your husband and together with the no/low calorie drink you order from the fast food place if they enforce having to order something to have a seat....
  • Lolinloggen
    Lolinloggen Posts: 463 Member
    If you’re having lunch with your husband why can’t you both bring food from home?
    This! Both bring lunch and go together for a walk instead of take out lunch (cheaper too)