Politely saying No Thank You...
kksmom1789
Posts: 281 Member
Pay no mind to my grammar or run on sentences I type like I speak
So my problem is this and I wanna know if I’m in the same boat here but I have a hard time turning down free food it’s especially hard for me working in a small office setting they will know if I lie and say I ate some...also my hubby and I have the same lunch hour and he always ask me to go to lunch with him which I love to spend some time with him but I don’t really care for the fast food... I don’t wanna be mean and say no because he will say order something healthy like a salad but I literally can’t stop ordering those cheeseburgers (or anything else for me that’s unhealthy)
Any suggestions??
So my problem is this and I wanna know if I’m in the same boat here but I have a hard time turning down free food it’s especially hard for me working in a small office setting they will know if I lie and say I ate some...also my hubby and I have the same lunch hour and he always ask me to go to lunch with him which I love to spend some time with him but I don’t really care for the fast food... I don’t wanna be mean and say no because he will say order something healthy like a salad but I literally can’t stop ordering those cheeseburgers (or anything else for me that’s unhealthy)
Any suggestions??
2
Replies
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Only you can control what you eat. Why are you letting everyone else have that power?25
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You have 2 options. Say no, or say yes and make it work.
Free food at work. Don't eat it or, eat it and factor it into your calorie target
Lunch with the SO, Go to lunch and don't eat, or eat the salad (or cheeseburger) and factor it in to your calorie target.
Well, technically you have 3 options and you can yes and not make it fit your calorie target but that's defeating the purpose.
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My coworkers bring in donuts all the time. I usually say something along the lines of, "Thanks! I'm good right now, but maybe I'll grab one later."
I also pack a lunch and two snacks every day. I totally get wanting to spend time with your husband; on days where you know you'll be eating together, can you two prepare something homemade to eat during your break?
Last, nothing wrong with having a cheeseburger. I've found that a junior cheeseburger and value fries from Wendy's are totally manageable, calorie-wise. If I get something bigger, I cut it in half and save the rest for dinner.
It takes a ton of willpower, but once you turn down the free office food and lunch invitations a few times, it gets much easier to resist the temptation. You just have to get started. You can do it!15 -
Only you can control what you eat. Why are you letting everyone else have that power?
First thing in the morning and your answer hits me: BRILLIANT! But seriously - sometimes "politely" is a waste of time. Everyone wants to know better and wants "to help". "I am under doctor's orders" or "I have to check with my weight loss buddy first" can help. I usually take something to eat with me - like a good salad and my own salad dressing. Hospitals use a label "NIL BY MOUTH" which they stick onto your bed before you are operated on. Maybe that would help?3 -
What helps me going to restaurants is looking up the menu and logging calories before I go. That way I can really consider if the burger and fries is worth it from afar—without all the smells and pictures tempting me. Consider texting your order to your husband so you don’t have the opportunity to change your mind!
Or change up the restaurants you go to. Panera has some excellent salad and soup options. Try to find an overall healthier alternative. Or you can meet up with your husband for a packed lunch and a walk so you still get your quality time in.5 -
I LOVE McDonald's and Wendy's salads with grilled chicken. Maybe it's just a matter of habit? If you can convince yourself to switch to those a few times, you might start preferring a salad to a cheeseburger (as I do). With respect to @LoPotion 's comments, I have on occasion, fit in something like a cheeseburger and small fries, but for me, it takes some unusual circumstances to make it work comfortably. Like heavy exercise that day, or tons of veggies sandwiched around that meal. Otherwise it takes too much willpower for me. My chances of eating high calorie low nutrient foods after that meal go up considerably.
As to the free food, there was someone here who said they imagined that the food had been contaminated (sneezed on, or something like that) and that helped her stay away. I think I unconsciously do that in Costco. I am bewildered by all the people buzzing around from one sampling station to the next.1 -
I worked in a small office also, before I retired. There was always food being brought in by either customers or coworkers. Many times, multiple things in a day. Often it was put on the counter in front of my desk. I had to learn to resist the temptation.
Making better choices isn’t always easy. Priorities have to be made. What do you want most, the temporary satisfaction of something tasty, or do you want to lose weight and become healthier?
Choices.0 -
You say don’t really care for the fast food.
Newsflash: you literally can stop ordering those cheeseburgers (or anything else that’s unhealthy). You have the power. Use it.
Spend the lunchtime with your husband but bring the food you choose to eat.14 -
goldthistime wrote: »I LOVE McDonald's and Wendy's salads with grilled chicken. Maybe it's just a matter of habit? If you can convince yourself to switch to those a few times, you might start preferring a salad to a cheeseburger (as I do). With respect to @LoPotion 's comments, I have on occasion, fit in something like a cheeseburger and small fries, but for me, it takes some unusual circumstances to make it work comfortably. Like heavy exercise that day, or tons of veggies sandwiched around that meal. Otherwise it takes too much willpower for me. My chances of eating high calorie low nutrient foods after that meal go up considerably.
You bring up some good points! I will always vouch for homemade/packed lunches, first and foremost. I'm just sayin', it doesn't have to be all or nothing. I don't know how accurate their nutrition info is, but the Wendy's website puts a junior cheeseburger and value fries at 500-600 calories. I think that's reasonable for an entire meal, once or twice a week. And while it can lead someone to making bad choices for the rest of the day, it can also have the opposite effect by satisfying a craving before someone goes on a binge.
Just my two cents! But you're right about those salads - they sure are delicious.2 -
tauntonmom wrote: »You say don’t really care for the fast food.
Newsflash: you literally can stop ordering those cheeseburgers (or anything else that’s unhealthy). You have the power. Use it.
Spend the lunchtime with your husband but bring the food you choose to eat.
Literally what I came here to say! Why eat anything you don't care for?3 -
goldthistime wrote: »I LOVE McDonald's and Wendy's salads with grilled chicken. Maybe it's just a matter of habit? If you can convince yourself to switch to those a few times, you might start preferring a salad to a cheeseburger (as I do). With respect to @LoPotion 's comments, I have on occasion, fit in something like a cheeseburger and small fries, but for me, it takes some unusual circumstances to make it work comfortably. Like heavy exercise that day, or tons of veggies sandwiched around that meal. Otherwise it takes too much willpower for me. My chances of eating high calorie low nutrient foods after that meal go up considerably.
You bring up some good points! I will always vouch for homemade/packed lunches, first and foremost. I'm just sayin', it doesn't have to be all or nothing. I don't know how accurate their nutrition info is, but the Wendy's website puts a junior cheeseburger and value fries at 500-600 calories. I think that's reasonable for an entire meal, once or twice a week. And while it can lead someone to making bad choices for the rest of the day, it can also have the opposite effect by satisfying a craving before someone goes on a binge.
Just my two cents! But you're right about those salads - they sure are delicious.
Calories are absolutely king, and I think the majority here agrees that satisfying cravings staves off binges. You gave solid advice, I didn’t mean to infer otherwise.
Why, after all this time, I have to be so careful of carby or treat foods, I don’t know. It is what it is.2 -
goldthistime wrote: »goldthistime wrote: »I LOVE McDonald's and Wendy's salads with grilled chicken. Maybe it's just a matter of habit? If you can convince yourself to switch to those a few times, you might start preferring a salad to a cheeseburger (as I do). With respect to @LoPotion 's comments, I have on occasion, fit in something like a cheeseburger and small fries, but for me, it takes some unusual circumstances to make it work comfortably. Like heavy exercise that day, or tons of veggies sandwiched around that meal. Otherwise it takes too much willpower for me. My chances of eating high calorie low nutrient foods after that meal go up considerably.
You bring up some good points! I will always vouch for homemade/packed lunches, first and foremost. I'm just sayin', it doesn't have to be all or nothing. I don't know how accurate their nutrition info is, but the Wendy's website puts a junior cheeseburger and value fries at 500-600 calories. I think that's reasonable for an entire meal, once or twice a week. And while it can lead someone to making bad choices for the rest of the day, it can also have the opposite effect by satisfying a craving before someone goes on a binge.
Just my two cents! But you're right about those salads - they sure are delicious.
Calories are absolutely king, and I think the majority here agrees that satisfying cravings staves off binges. You gave solid advice, I didn’t mean to infer otherwise.
Why, after all this time, I have to be so careful of carby or treat foods, I don’t know. It is what it is.
Hey, no worries! I'm always happy to talk about this sort of thing and hear other points of view. Everyone has their own set of rules to adhere to. You're doing great!
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I have stopped eating treats at work. They now know that I don't indulge. Once you get that established you won't have so many offers and people stop questioning you. As for the lunch with hubby... I would just pack a lunch for myself and join him for the company. Start out by packing something you really like and as time goes by the burgers won't seem so tempting. The first couple of months on a new diet are tough because everything is changing and you really have nothing to mess up. When you start losing the thought of gaining it back might be more incentive than you would think. For me as the weight started coming off I found the thrill of seeing a lower weight on the scale kept me honest. As they say Losing weight is hard, being overweight is hard, pick your hard.1
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Saying no is an acquired skill that you need to work on.
I decided and told everyone that's important in my life that I'd be concentrating on a weight loss goal from Sept. 3rd until Dec. 14th this year. Which means less eating out, less skipping work outs, less social stuff and saying NO a lot more. And honestly, everyone understands. It's a lot like having a project you are passionate about a work and to get it done you have to work over time. We do what we have to do to get the job done. Weight loss is no different.
Now, the eating out the hubby. I have the same situation and tend to tell him no a lot. But he knows it won't be forever. But he knows that this is important to me. We spend time doing other things like taking walks in the evening. Social time doesn't always have to be "what are we eating"...1 -
I just say no... simply "No." No explanation, not excuses, I don't say I just ate. I just say no. Maybe "No thanks" if I'm feeling polite but no one needs an explanation as to why you're saying no.
You control what you eat. Period. Don't want a cheeseburger? Don't get one.
On the rare occasion the food is something I want. I take a small amount, say thank you. and walk away. I log it and maybe adjust a little, but usually not.
Saying "No" really is a skill. A few years ago I got divorced and after that relationship I realized that unintentionally I was always saying "Yes" to things I didn't really want to do or want to eat or want for whatever reason because I was trying to please someone else. From that moment forward I promised myself that I would say no to anything that didn't align with my morals or beliefs or feelings or just because it was something I didn't want and that no one needed an explanation for why I was saying no. Saying no has honestly empowered me and once you start it will make a difference in other areas of your life as well.10 -
The treats table at work and lunch with Hubby are two separate beasts. Changing your diet should not necessarily cause you to have to overhaul your social life. I gave up all sugar for about 6 months before I was able to slowly reintroduc treats in small prtions. The treat table at work is mostly avoided. But the other day, I had worked out, had the calorie budget for it and decided that a piece of apple cake sounded really quite tasy. It was and I regret nothing.
As for lunch, why don't you pick the place where you eat instead of letting your husband decide. Start with a salad only place. Or as other have said pre view the menu. Often time fast food will lettuce wrap your burger. It save almost 200 calories and you still get to indulge. It about having a new game plan, not forcing yourself to willpower through every potential interaction with food.0 -
I just say no... simply "No." No explanation, not excuses, I don't say I just ate. I just say no. Maybe "No thanks" if I'm feeling polite but no one needs an explanation as to why you're saying no.
You control what you eat. Period. Don't want a cheeseburger? Don't get one.
On the rare occasion the food is something I want. I take a small amount, say thank you. and walk away. I log it and maybe adjust a little, but usually not.
Saying "No" really is a skill. A few years ago I got divorced and after that relationship I realized that unintentionally I was always saying "Yes" to things I didn't really want to do or want to eat or want for whatever reason because I was trying to please someone else. From that moment forward I promised myself that I would say no to anything that didn't align with my morals or beliefs or feelings or just because it was something I didn't want and that no one needed an explanation for why I was saying no. Saying no has honestly empowered me and once you start it will make a difference in other areas of your life as well.
This for me also... you don't owe anyone an explanation for not eating something.3 -
It is not free. It costs calories. Calories for which you have a limited supply just like money. Many people, myself included, treat calories like money. I have a budget and I mostly stick to it. If I want to make a doughnut or a cheeseburger fit I will make it happen. If I do not feel like trying to make it fit or I am not that interested in eating it I will not waste my calories on it.
There are some social situations like a big family meal where I might eat things I don't love to be part of the group but those happen really rarely and I still choose.
One of the reasons I gained weight was because I was not enough of a "picky eater." I would eat high calorie foods that I didn't really love just because I was hungry and needed something fast. I am much pickier now.4 -
When it comes to workplace freebies, potluck, special occasions, holidays with family, etc...I usually use the "trick" of being really vocal about 1 particular thing I enjoy and it keeps people off my back. For example, I like my mom's peanut butter fudge and I make a big deal about it. No one really notices that I didn't even try the sugar cookies, cake, or green bean casserole...they know I'm all about the fudge. Silly example but it really works. At work, they know I don't care about most treats but if there are donuts from 1 particular place I love, I'll always have one. I know this is kind of a roundabout "solution" but I have had good luck with it.
Honestly, some people really only seem to give you a hard time if you take the "I'm eating healthy, I won't eat anything x, y or z" path. It's like a challenge to them, I guess.2 -
In my experience there is really no other way to say no thank you, but to say a polite, but a firm no thank you with no excuses. Repeatedly at times.
After I lost my first 50 pounds someone I know kept asking me if I wanted my favorite ice cream at a barbecue. I kept saying no thanks.
They eventually made a huge bowl, shoved it in my face and walked away as if to say oh, you're going to eat this ice cream.
I stood up, walked over to them, put the bowl on the counter right in front of them and said NO. THANK. YOU. With very direct eye contact and no smiles. They haven't offered me any food since and that was 6 summers ago. Lol!
If I wanted ice cream I would have made myself a bowl.
It took years, but I had to learn that just because food is offered to me or that it's free doesn't mean I have to eat it.
Good luck. It does get easier.
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I find it amazing how quickly children learn the power of "NO" and we seem to forget the power of this word as adults.
Order what you want. Eat what you want, but be mindful of the choices you make - the pros and cons, both small and long term.6 -
seltzermint555 wrote: »When it comes to workplace freebies, potluck, special occasions, holidays with family, etc...I usually use the "trick" of being really vocal about 1 particular thing I enjoy and it keeps people off my back. For example, I like my mom's peanut butter fudge and I make a big deal about it. No one really notices that I didn't even try the sugar cookies, cake, or green bean casserole...they know I'm all about the fudge. Silly example but it really works. At work, they know I don't care about most treats but if there are donuts from 1 particular place I love, I'll always have one. I know this is kind of a roundabout "solution" but I have had good luck with it.
Honestly, some people really only seem to give you a hard time if you take the "I'm eating healthy, I won't eat anything x, y or z" path. It's like a challenge to them, I guess.
I didn't give you the disagree btw.
It is not always taken as a challenge. Sometimes it is taken as virtue signalling. When you call what you do "healthy" you are suggesting what they are eating is not. This is why I like to say that I am not eating healthy I am eating a healthy number of calories. As long as I take care of my base nutritional needs the type of food I eat doesn't matter. I get healthier losing weight even if it includes pizza, pie, and/or potato chips.1 -
seltzermint555 wrote: »When it comes to workplace freebies, potluck, special occasions, holidays with family, etc...I usually use the "trick" of being really vocal about 1 particular thing I enjoy and it keeps people off my back. For example, I like my mom's peanut butter fudge and I make a big deal about it. No one really notices that I didn't even try the sugar cookies, cake, or green bean casserole...they know I'm all about the fudge. Silly example but it really works. At work, they know I don't care about most treats but if there are donuts from 1 particular place I love, I'll always have one. I know this is kind of a roundabout "solution" but I have had good luck with it.
Honestly, some people really only seem to give you a hard time if you take the "I'm eating healthy, I won't eat anything x, y or z" path. It's like a challenge to them, I guess.
I didn't give you the disagree btw.
It is not always taken as a challenge. Sometimes it is taken as virtue signalling. When you call what you do "healthy" you are suggesting what they are eating is not. This is why I like to say that I am not eating healthy I am eating a healthy number of calories. As long as I take care of my base nutritional needs the type of food I eat doesn't matter. I get healthier losing weight even if it includes pizza, pie, and/or potato chips.
Absolutely...virtue signaling is a better example of what I meant, honestly, when I said "like a challenge".
And sometimes more like an affront, to many.0 -
If you’re having lunch with your husband why can’t you both bring food from home?4
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My husband used to binge eat sweets in bed right before he fell asleep. This happened during the first 50 pounds of my weight loss. (He's since quit and lost weight)
I knew that if I did the nightly sweets binge with him that I would not only not lose weight, but would gain more.
So I decided to have my own treat every night. Sometimes it was yogurt and fruit or low cal ice cream or just fruit.
My point is figure it out. You could plan a cheeseburger in your lunch, but you said you don't really like them. You could have a salad or eat at work and just have a diet soda or even a yogurt parfait. You could tell your spouse that you get to pick the restaurant every other day. There's literally a ton of options here.
The only person who can really derail your plan is you.0 -
seltzermint555 wrote: »When it comes to workplace freebies, potluck, special occasions, holidays with family, etc...I usually use the "trick" of being really vocal about 1 particular thing I enjoy and it keeps people off my back. For example, I like my mom's peanut butter fudge and I make a big deal about it. No one really notices that I didn't even try the sugar cookies, cake, or green bean casserole...they know I'm all about the fudge. Silly example but it really works. At work, they know I don't care about most treats but if there are donuts from 1 particular place I love, I'll always have one. I know this is kind of a roundabout "solution" but I have had good luck with it.
Honestly, some people really only seem to give you a hard time if you take the "I'm eating healthy, I won't eat anything x, y or z" path. It's like a challenge to them, I guess.
I do this at our 4th of July extravaganza - I say that I am saving room for the peach cobbler and everyone gets that. Plus I fill my plate with lower calorie options.
Also, I make brownies so that there is more peach cobbler for me, MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.3 -
It is not impolite to turn down food, but it is impolite to push food on others. When offered food I don't want I just say, "no, thank you". If the person repeats the offer or starts to get pushy, I repeat the same words a bit more emphatically. Don't let other people have power over what you eat.4
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I was in your same shoes for YEARS!!! I'd bring a healthy lunch to work & then someone mentions pizza, what do I do??? Almost every day there is some sort of goodie by the coffee pot, and I would indulge. It was never a small amount, always at least 2 servings if not more. THEN I had my "ah ha" moment when booking flights for our vacation, realizing I'd have to book 1st class for me because I don't fit into the coach seats at 342.8 lbs. How sad is that???? Then & there I made up my mind what mattered more to me and I have not looked back, yet! I do a lot of food prep on weekends so I can just grab a container out of the fridge in the morning as I head to the YMCA before work. It's only been 2 weeks but I can already feel the difference, down 7 lbs and cloths are starting to fit differently, I have more pep in my step because I am eating healthy and not filling up on junk & tons of carbs every day. You just have to find your "reason" for wanting to become healthy, the rest will come naturally. P.S. When someone tries to force you to eat something you don't want to just tell them NO, you don't want to poison your body with crap! No means NO, no matter what the situation.3
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I was in your same shoes for YEARS!!! I'd bring a healthy lunch to work & then someone mentions pizza, what do I do??? Almost every day there is some sort of goodie by the coffee pot, and I would indulge. It was never a small amount, always at least 2 servings if not more. THEN I had my "ah ha" moment when booking flights for our vacation, realizing I'd have to book 1st class for me because I don't fit into the coach seats at 342.8 lbs. How sad is that???? Then & there I made up my mind what mattered more to me and I have not looked back, yet! I do a lot of food prep on weekends so I can just grab a container out of the fridge in the morning as I head to the YMCA before work. It's only been 2 weeks but I can already feel the difference, down 7 lbs and cloths are starting to fit differently, I have more pep in my step because I am eating healthy and not filling up on junk & tons of carbs every day. You just have to find your "reason" for wanting to become healthy, the rest will come naturally. P.S. When someone tries to force you to eat something you don't want to just tell them NO, you don't want to poison your body with crap! No means NO, no matter what the situation.
You started off strong but ended on a note of bad relationship with food. No food is our enemy if it can be handled in moderation. Each time I started with a weight loss effort that excluded certain foods I failed. This last time I started with the opposite approach. I told myself that on no uncertain terms would I exclude anything that I can moderate. All the stuff you call poison I probably call treats. My lunch today included 2 small bags of chips.8 -
Ugh! I totally understand how you feel! At first I didn't want anyone knowing I was "on a diet" so at work I would just say I wasn't hungry and that I would have some later. As my coworkers saw that I am working hard to lose weight they stopped pushing so much. Now a lot of them are trying to make healthier choices with me!
As for eating out, my fiance and I go out to eat every Saturday. What helped me, was spending the time to put in my phone what I could eat at each place we might possibly go to. When I want to indulge I do it, but it is a conscious decision I have made ahead of time. Panera is fantastic, their website lets you customize your meal and it shows you all the calories. Before we get to the restaurant, I have already decided what I will be having.
Another silly thing that I have to do, is not look. I don't look at the menu once I've decided. If someone is eating fries in front of me, I will look anywhere but at those damn fries. I have even left the room. If I am truly craving fries I will work them into my calories for the day.
Don't let yourself get too hungry is another big help. I chug water like my life depends on it. At night I drink sparkling water and that fills you up a lot too!
Good luck and don't give up! One moment of weakness doesn't need to derail your whole day. Just log the calories and try to do better.2
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