Online dating
Replies
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isalsayourface123 wrote: »There's a billion apps out there but big ones like eEharmony and match are usually the best for finding a relationship while tinder, MeetMe, and the host of others seem best for hooking up.
Be selective, don't rush into anything, if u get messages at first because it's usually either a bot (fake) or a dude wanting nudes.
I don't think girls gets bots
I only ever ran across one fake guy and I recognized it right away. He was using a model's pics and trying to get me to download an app. Nope! There was a guy on MFP running that scheme years ago too. In general I haven't run across the same problems that guys do on these apps.
From what I hear men run into a lot of "professionals" and married women on some of the apps like POF. Bumble has less fakes it seems. I have also heard that Facebook is a good source to find real people. Keep in mind a real person isn't always real. Dating is a cluster *kitten* because a huge portion of people like to hide their flaws for a long time in the beginning. Be you. If you're not meant to be then there is no point in wasting your time.
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I've used them and yes they can work. It really comes down to what you want, a play toy, fun time or relationship. Stick to your goals and you will find what you want but always be honest with the other person. I've made amazing friends, gone on great dates and HORRIFFIC ONES (which are just really funny to drink friends)
I think this is good advice.
To me the keys are delete/block ANY kind of red flag, even if you feel sort of mean doing it...you'll probably be better off. Be brutal in the early stages when it comes to that. Then when you find someone who seems promising, meet as soon as you can & in a low pressure public situation like coffee or lunch. Move on from there.
I haven't been on the sites since meeting my husband in 2012, so I'm not up to date. At the time, I tried Plenty of Fish (seemed to be a lot of secretly married guys, mostly) and then OK Cupid. I have no idea if OK Cupid has changed or even still exists, but I really liked it. They had hundreds of questions for you to answer and then it gave you percentages of how "compatible" you might be, but not in a hardcore serious way, either. It was pretty cool. I found way better guys (in my area) on OK Cupid than POF.
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MFP is my favorite dating app. 🤷♀️7
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I have used the dating apps. It is very easy to get a date but most guys on there are only looking for one thing and in my experience, they are usually dating many women at once, and many aren’t even really single!
I agree that this is accurate, but also ran into women dating several men at once. It can be quite amusing having my name confused with another's or past conversation continued that I wasn't involved with at all.1 -
I briefly tried Tinder when I was last on the market (6 or 7 years ago I think). It wasn't for me. I never felt witty or interesting enough or messaged back fast enough. I prefer to meet people in person.
All I hear from friends (of varied genders and preferences) are complaints about the apps and dating culture surrounding them. All frustrations seem to boil down to lack of authenticity.
That said, I know three couples who are now married (OKC), engaged (Match), and seriously dating 4ish years (Tinder).
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I have used the dating apps. It is very easy to get a date but most guys on there are only looking for one thing and in my experience, they are usually dating many women at once, and many aren’t even really single!
I agree that this is accurate, but also ran into women dating several men at once. It can be quite amusing having my name confused with another's or past conversation continued that I wasn't involved with at all.
I told you sorry! Sheesh.0 -
LiftingSpirits wrote: »isalsayourface123 wrote: »There's a billion apps out there but big ones like eEharmony and match are usually the best for finding a relationship while tinder, MeetMe, and the host of others seem best for hooking up.
Be selective, don't rush into anything, if u get messages at first because it's usually either a bot (fake) or a dude wanting nudes.
I don't think girls gets bots
I only ever ran across one fake guy and I recognized it right away. He was using a model's pics and trying to get me to download an app. Nope! There was a guy on MFP running that scheme years ago too. In general I haven't run across the same problems that guys do on these apps.
From what I hear men run into a lot of "professionals" and married women on some of the apps like POF. Bumble has less fakes it seems. I have also heard that Facebook is a good source to find real people. Keep in mind a real person isn't always real. Dating is a cluster *kitten* because a huge portion of people like to hide their flaws for a long time in the beginning. Be you. If you're not meant to be then there is no point in wasting your time.
Facebook??? I didnt know that! I'm not on FBI much but maaayyybbee...0 -
isalsayourface123 wrote: »LiftingSpirits wrote: »isalsayourface123 wrote: »There's a billion apps out there but big ones like eEharmony and match are usually the best for finding a relationship while tinder, MeetMe, and the host of others seem best for hooking up.
Be selective, don't rush into anything, if u get messages at first because it's usually either a bot (fake) or a dude wanting nudes.
I don't think girls gets bots
I only ever ran across one fake guy and I recognized it right away. He was using a model's pics and trying to get me to download an app. Nope! There was a guy on MFP running that scheme years ago too. In general I haven't run across the same problems that guys do on these apps.
From what I hear men run into a lot of "professionals" and married women on some of the apps like POF. Bumble has less fakes it seems. I have also heard that Facebook is a good source to find real people. Keep in mind a real person isn't always real. Dating is a cluster *kitten* because a huge portion of people like to hide their flaws for a long time in the beginning. Be you. If you're not meant to be then there is no point in wasting your time.
Facebook??? I didnt know that! I'm not on FBI much but maaayyybbee...
Supposedly FB has a dating part now. One person told me it is better because you know all the people are actual people, but I wonder if that gives a false sense of security to some.0 -
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I briefly tried Tinder when I was last on the market (6 or 7 years ago I think). It wasn't for me. I never felt witty or interesting enough or messaged back fast enough. I prefer to meet people in person.
All I hear from friends (of varied genders and preferences) are complaints about the apps and dating culture surrounding them. All frustrations seem to boil down to lack of authenticity.
That said, I know three couples who are now married (OKC), engaged (Match), and seriously dating 4ish years (Tinder).
Most of my friends who are now married met on a dating site, most on Match or Eharmony. I had zero luck in the past on those sites.
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I'm 43 now, my husband is almost 59. We met on a personal website. We weren't looking for a relationship much less marriage, but things turned out that way.2
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theresa120 wrote: »I signed up for Bumble about 6 months ago, and have no experience with dating apps outside of it. The app is well designed, and you’re not bombarded with a million messages from random guys because, as I understand it, only the woman can message first, which honestly has it’s pros and cons, especially for someone like me, who is naturally quite shy haha
It’s been pretty good so far. Met a few really nice guys I felt I “clicked” with. I agree with @joeynox , honesty is key.
My friend recently suggested Hinge. Apparently, it’s more social. You can “like” certain aspects of a persons profile and initiate a conversation from there. I haven’t had the time or energy to look into it yet. Has anyone else tried it??
Great suggestions. I believe I should go for Hinge first.... let's see how that goes.
How much is Bumble?0 -
Finishiitnow wrote: »theresa120 wrote: »I signed up for Bumble about 6 months ago, and have no experience with dating apps outside of it. The app is well designed, and you’re not bombarded with a million messages from random guys because, as I understand it, only the woman can message first, which honestly has it’s pros and cons, especially for someone like me, who is naturally quite shy haha
It’s been pretty good so far. Met a few really nice guys I felt I “clicked” with. I agree with @joeynox , honesty is key.
My friend recently suggested Hinge. Apparently, it’s more social. You can “like” certain aspects of a persons profile and initiate a conversation from there. I haven’t had the time or energy to look into it yet. Has anyone else tried it??
Great suggestions. I believe I should go for Hinge first.... let's see how that goes.
How much is Bumble?
It’s free! But there are paid options within the app to I guess boost your profile? I dunno. They gotta make money somehow lol
Good luck! Let me know what you think of Hinge!0 -
Finishiitnow wrote: »theresa120 wrote: »I signed up for Bumble about 6 months ago, and have no experience with dating apps outside of it. The app is well designed, and you’re not bombarded with a million messages from random guys because, as I understand it, only the woman can message first, which honestly has it’s pros and cons, especially for someone like me, who is naturally quite shy haha
It’s been pretty good so far. Met a few really nice guys I felt I “clicked” with. I agree with @joeynox , honesty is key.
My friend recently suggested Hinge. Apparently, it’s more social. You can “like” certain aspects of a persons profile and initiate a conversation from there. I haven’t had the time or energy to look into it yet. Has anyone else tried it??
Great suggestions. I believe I should go for Hinge first.... let's see how that goes.
How much is Bumble?
I'm trying hinge! Looks ok just started thou2 -
I've tried Match (paid), Tinder(free) and Bumble (free) with varying levels of success.
I had a terrible experience with Match which I expected to have the best experience with since you can actually describe your interests as opposed to just swiping photos. Also, its a paid app so I assumed more people would be looking to actually meet someone for more than a hookup, most people did actually seem to be looking for a relationship. Though you can set what you're looking for in a partner in your profile (age, distance etc) this doesn't stop anyone from outside of these parameters from still messaging you. In the first two weeks of using it I received hundreds and hundreds of messages from men most of whom were nothing like what I indicated I was looking for in my profile. For example I asked for men under 45 within 30 miles distance in my profile and 55 year old men from 300 miles away would message me. I got tired of trying to sort through the messages to find someone who met the criteria I was looking for so I deleted and canceled it after about a month.
People always say Tinder is mostly for hookups but I didn't find that to be the case. I think it's important to be clear on what you're looking for and as someone else mentioned don't chat too long before meeting. Exchange a few messages, grab a cup of coffee and see if anything clicks. To me, meeting quickly as opposed to chatting for an extended period of time stops you from forming any preconceived notions on how that person will be. It also simulates more what it would be like to just meet someone in real life if you're not chatting much first. I've had way too many friends that chatted with someone for four weeks or more before meeting only to have everything in common on paper but simply no chemistry in person which was a huge disappointment for them. I went on a lot of great dates from Tinder but I just didn't happen to run across someone who I saw myself with for an extended period of time.
After my experience being inundated with messages on Match and Tinder I liked the concept of Bumble because once you "matched" the only way to talk was for a conversation to be initiated by the woman. Though I actually had the app for a while I only ever messaged one man, the man whom i've been dating for the last year and a half and now live with so i'd say Bumble was the most successful for me
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I met my last girlfriend on Bumble, and recently started seeing someone I also met on Bumble.
From my understanding that sites that you don't have to match before messaging, women get bombarded with messages from guys, and can be quite overwhelming. Tinder they can't message until you are already matched, and bumble, as noted above, the woman has to message first, after you match (both swipe right).
I have been on other free sites (POF, OK cupid), but more of a crapshoot with who is there and trying to get your message to stand out from the dozens or more she would have recieved.0 -
My honest opinion is I tried Hinge, Bumble etc. There are lots of guys and girls online but majority of women on the dating sites are doing well with their lives, career okay, financially independent etc but majority of men I find online are not doing so well. Some are lazy, don't have a career, more of rejected guys that then come online to find a mum to raise them. Be very careful pls9
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I met my wife on FarmersOnly.Com
( the 2nd cousin edition )8 -
I have used the dating apps. It is very easy to get a date but most guys on there are only looking for one thing and in my experience, they are usually dating many women at once, and many aren’t even really single!
I agree that this is accurate, but also ran into women dating several men at once. It can be quite amusing having my name confused with another's or past conversation continued that I wasn't involved with at all.
i was dating a number of guys at once but i did go on dates with a few guys in the same space of time. i was getting to know them. chatted with a larger number...most didn't make the cut.
but i found a nice guy on bumble-till he had a midlife crisis and decided i didn't fit in his life
and now dating a nice guy from hinge. six months, still going strong.
my first profile was nice. after the bumbleboy, i was very specific about what i wanted and what my life looked like. and that seemed to get rid of the ones who couldn't deal with the crazy that is my life.
i did get a few hook up messages or a few that just wanted to chat. but mostly it was a good experience.
i filled out profiles on most of the dating apps. hinge and bumble were the most successful. though i did have a few flakes on bumble.0 -
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Note on Bumble, my experience and theory that I confirmed with a guy I matched with, all of the guys will swipe on every girl since statistically very few women will swipe on a guy, so if they swipe everyone they'll get a match eventually. So you the girl get a match and message the guy, but he never had any intention of talking to you so your message gets ignored. It was frustrating.5
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Note on Bumble, my experience and theory that I confirmed with a guy I matched with, all of the guys will swipe on every girl since statistically very few women will swipe on a guy, so if they swipe everyone they'll get a match eventually. So you the girl get a match and message the guy, but he never had any intention of talking to you so your message gets ignored. It was frustrating.
I probably only swipe right for every 10-20 women in my area... way more go to the left.
I will only swipe right if they have something in their profile that catches my eye, besides just their pic. If you only have a pic, even if attractive, I swipe left. Looks are def not everything.4 -
Note on Bumble, my experience and theory that I confirmed with a guy I matched with, all of the guys will swipe on every girl since statistically very few women will swipe on a guy, so if they swipe everyone they'll get a match eventually. So you the girl get a match and message the guy, but he never had any intention of talking to you so your message gets ignored. It was frustrating.
I probably only swipe right for every 10-20 women in my area... way more go to the left.
I will only swipe right if they have something in their profile that catches my eye, besides just their pic. If you only have a pic, even if attractive, I swipe left. Looks are def not everything.
Wish more guys did this.2 -
I have been dating all of you utilizing a space-age dating app that most of you haven't heard of yet7
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Note on Bumble, my experience and theory that I confirmed with a guy I matched with, all of the guys will swipe on every girl since statistically very few women will swipe on a guy, so if they swipe everyone they'll get a match eventually. So you the girl get a match and message the guy, but he never had any intention of talking to you so your message gets ignored. It was frustrating.
I probably only swipe right for every 10-20 women in my area... way more go to the left.
I will only swipe right if they have something in their profile that catches my eye, besides just their pic. If you only have a pic, even if attractive, I swipe left. Looks are def not everything.
The guy i'm dating now, actually didn't swipe right on me on bumble but did match me on hinge.
go figure.0 -
Reckoner68 wrote: »I have been dating all of you utilizing a space-age dating app that most of you haven't heard of yet
How do I rate compared to these others? I would prefer you use a pie chart or spreadsheet to demonstrate this0 -
Reckoner68 wrote: »I have been dating all of you utilizing a space-age dating app that most of you haven't heard of yet
It's getting pretty serious0 -
LiftingSpirits wrote: »Reckoner68 wrote: »I have been dating all of you utilizing a space-age dating app that most of you haven't heard of yet
How do I rate compared to these others? I would prefer you use a pie chart or spreadsheet to demonstrate this
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