Joke of the Day!!!!! :) :) :)

A depressed young woman was so desperate that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean. When she went down to the docks, a handsome young sailor noticed her tears, took pity on her, and said, "Look, you've got a lot to live for. I'm off to Europe in the morning, and if you like, I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take good care of you and bring you food every day."

Moving closer, he slipped his arm around her shoulder and added, "I'll keep you happy, and you'll keep me happy."

The girl nodded 'yes.' After all, what did she have to lose?
That night, the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a life-boat. From then on, every night he brought her three sandwiches and a piece of fruit, and they made passionate love until dawn.

Three weeks later, during a routine search, she was discovered by the captain.
"What are you doing here?" the Captain asked.
"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she explained.
"He's taking me to Europe, and he's screwing me."
To which the Captain replied, "He sure is, lady... This is the Staten Island Ferry."

Here's one:

I, P. Niss, hereby request a raise in salary on the following terms:

- I do physical labour
- I work at great depths
- I work in high temperatures
- I work in a damp environment
- I plunge head first into everything I do
- I do not get weekends or public holidays off
- My work exposes me to contagious diseases
- I work in a dark work place that has poor ventilation

Sincerely,
P. Niss

The Response:

Dear P. Niss,

After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request under the following reasons:

- You are unable to work double shifts
- You do not work 8 hours straight
- You will retire well before you are 65
- You fall asleep after brief work periods
- You do not always follow the orders of the management team
- You do not stay in your designated work area and are often seen visiting other locations
- You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
- You leave the work place rather messy at the end of your shift
- You do not always observe necessary safety regulations, such as; wearing the required protective clothing
- You sometimes leave your designated work area before you have completed an assinged task
- And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.

Sincerly,
V. Gine

I found this funnier than i should have i think