Need some advice. ..concerning my 2 year old...

I worked in childcare for over 10 years, and I can tell you truthfully what is going on here is a battle of wills. She's learned that if she waits long enough you will cave and give her what she wants.

No doubt that when she looks at you with big sad eyes saying her belly hurts that you must feel like the worst mom in the world....but you need to tell yourself you are NOT hurting her by wanting her to eat healthy foods. Her belly is hurting because she is being stubborn by not eating what you have put in front of her - not because you're a bad mom. You have to remind yourself of this, because those sad eyes can reduce you to mush.

I promise you this...when she gets hungry enough, she WILL eat something besides chicken nuggets (so long as the nuggets aren't being offered.) If you took them totally out of the house and didn't buy any more for at least a month, she will eventually start to discover other foods that she likes.

Also, this may take a while, so you have to be strong and determined. Children sometimes need to try something new up to 20 times before they will accept it. So its a tough road but very very worth it.

You would be doing her a huge favour to NOT serve her chicken nuggets again. She's at an age where she is learning habits that will last a life time. Instilling good eating habits now will definitely help her through her whole life - even if she doesn't like it right now.

Stay strong girl. :flowerforyou:

This! Be the mom. Be strong.

We are having a very similar problem with our two year old. He would rather drink his calories than eat them. We were having a battle of wills and he was winning as he knew I would eventually give in. Sounds like your little one has you figured. out. Finally, after talking with a developmental specialists she said he will only go to bed hungry so many times. He WILL learn to eat what is offered. So for the past week and a half we have said you can sit in the chair and eat or you can sit in the other chair, no tv, no toys, just sitting and even more important for him, no milk. IT HAS WORKED. He has only not eaten one night. Now there were tantrums the first three days, but he did come around. He has eaten broccoli, chicken, fish, rice, hotdog, potatoes, etc. Does he eat everything on his plate, no, but he is eating.
You have to remain strong and even keeled about. (I found the more I got worked up the more he objected). You have to remember, she will not starve. Let her go to bed hungry, I bet she will eat the next night.
I do like the reward system for eating as I don't want food tied to anything other than food and sustaining our bodies. Down the road I don't want him thinking if he holds out on something that eventually I will give him a reward for doing it. Slippery slope in my opinion.
Whatever you decide, Good Luck!
Angela

I want to second what my wife has said here. Let me add that children of this age are very good at figuring out hunger. The developmental specialist we worked with was emphatic that sending them to bed hungry a couple of times is NOT cruel, and she works with many special needs kids. (Our son is severely hearing impaired.) In the end, these types of situations are not about the food; they are about control. If you remove the control/confrontation element, you will eventually win. Again, in our case it was (1) take away the problem items (e.g. milk before or during dinner) and (2) present a clear choice. We did not object to him not eating, but we made the consequences of his choice clear. As soon as he realized he couldn't play us or get an emotional rise from us by not eating he gave in and chose to eat what was served. He's also given in (a bit) to the competition that motivates my 4-yo...he's so anxious to "beat daddy" by finishing his veggies first that he gobbles them down...the 2-yo is starting to pick up on that too as he watches his brother interact with me.

Be careful with the stick-to-your guns advice...it may work but it may also backfire...this is not really about food. If you remove the confrontation and dispassionately force her to choose eat or not I think you'll do better.

'do you think we should have a bowl of popcorn or some grapes as dessert?'

PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE do not give a 2 year old popcorn!! The APA says 4! If you give her grapes, make sure they are cut in half and she is supervised when eating them. These are both MAJOR choking hazards!

My son is a little like that, but with fish sticks! He's 3 and eats pb&j's, fishsticks, mac and cheese. Now the good thing is he'll eat eggs, cottage cheese and just about every fruit there is. He recently discovered that he likes turkey sandwhiches with mustard on wheat. He will try things, but just spits it out. With him it feels like a phase.

As a child, I loved the cream of wheat my mother served for breakfast every morning. However, some days, I just wasn't in the mood and left the bowl mostly uneaten. My mother had no problem with this; however, she did let me know that what I didn't eat for breakfast would be served to me again, this time cold from the refrigerator, when I returned home for lunch. Occasionally, I went back to school after a lunch of cold cream of wheat. It didn't happen often, but there were no surprises -- my mother was very clear about what would happen if I didn't eat my breakfast, and she stuck to it. I still love cream of wheat and admire my mother's resolve.

You seem to be the only person that gets this!

What people don't seem to remember is that she's 2. After reading the initial post I talked to a few actual educators I know who have not only had to take the psychology part that comes with being an educator, but the nutritional part as well. They are DISAGREE with the "eat or go to bed hungry" method. If she were older, yes... but again, she's TWO!

Couldn't agree more! It's a phase and it will pass.

Lots of great suggestions! She is only 2 so I wouldn't do anything too drastic, but I have a friend who has a son who is now 14. All of his life she has catered to his special food quirks. To this day he is a horrible eater he will not eat chicken breast or drumsticks only nuggets he won't eat beef unless it is a hamburger patty. He has countless other weird eating "things" and she has to cook separately for him all the time. He doesn't seem to eat fruits and veggies at all. Just way too picky and his mom fully believes she has created this "monster".

I have three boys all very different personalities and have all been thru their different phases. I have always tried to make fruit available for snacks, it is easy to get them hooked on fruit!

I like the idea someone had that when she is hungry at bedtime she gets a plate of the dinner that was served to the family. I often leave my littlest ones dinner (he is 7) when he won't eat it and eventually he comes back to it. He says I'm hungry and I say your dinner is on the table!!!!

Good luck! Don't lose sleep over it! Enjoy your sweet 2 year old girl.....for one day she will be a teenager : )

I didn't read many of the replies, but in my experience kids go through so many phases and this is just one of them, let her eat her nuggets, I have 3 kids and they have all went through this with some type of food, if your worried about her nutrition you can supplement it with pediasure, I had to do this when my daughter wouldn't eat anything but cantalope and some days she wouldn't eat at all pediasure became a life saver, now that she is 5 she will at least try everything set in front of her which I think is great and if she doesn't like it I know she doesn't like it, and I think not forcing her to eat things when she really only had a taste for cantalope helped. my boys which are 9 and 13 yrs old still go through these phases but they last for about a week or two at a time and since they are older I allow it to be one meal now that they are in school it'll be as an after school snack. sorry this got so dragged out.

I completely forgot with my boys I used to get them to try new foods by pretending we were on the show fear factor do you remember this show they use to eat disgusting things and my boys would say " their wimps I could eat that" so I would name the food gross things like "come eat your maggots and sheep brains". They loved it.

I had the same problem with my 2 year old son. Unfortunately she knows you're going to give into her. I know it's hard for you but you need to let her go to bed with a sore belly. I had to let my son go to bed without dinner 3 nights in a row. I did offer him milk and water though as I didn't want to starve the kid. After a few days he understood. His thing is peanut butter sandwiches. Now he get's them maybe twice a week and he knows that no matter what I won't budge.

I have a 3 year old and in my experience small children really stick to what they know and whats safe. Apparently they need to try new food something like 16 times before they will trust it enough to eat it.
A two year old is too small to reason with particularly (at 3 nearly 4 I can ask my child to make an effort to at least eat some of whats on offer and then give her a little of what she likes).
.
I believe in always offering choice - when we get up I ask do you want weet bix or crispies for breakfast and she varies, but I know if she were a two year old and I just told her she was having weet bix she could possibly make a fuss.

i don't believe in making a fuss about food either as this can make meal times which should be fun into a war zone. I'd give one chicken nugget on a plate with other child friendly food - potato mash, spagetti, baked beans....and not say a word just let her eat what she wants. No dialogue about what she has or has not eaten.
If she's hungry later because she hasn't eaten enough give her a banana or some yoghurt or a plain biscuit, but the nuggets limit them to only one only at a main meal, they are not something to snack on anyway.
You need to be firm and she'll soon get the hang of it.
I don't think it should be allowed to go on that she only eats nuggets, mainly becuase she is manipulating you and you need her to learn that you're not a short order cook - she eats what dinner is doesn't put an order in!

One of my brothers lived on potato waffles, chips and roast potatoes for almost 20 years. Now he's 25 and he lives on chicken nuggets, chicken burgers, chicken dippers and cheese and tomato pizza. My mum tried refusing to allow him the things he'd eat. He simply didn't eat and made himself seriously ill. She tried rewarding him for trying new things. He'd put something new in his mouth and promptly throw up. She tried tricking him by making one food look like something else. Same result, as soon as he tasted it he was sick. He was at the hospital regularly as a kid because of his eating problems.

They say he has a food phobia stemming from a terrible stomach upset he had while being weaned, everything he ate then came straight back up. As he's gotten older he's said it doesn't matter how much he wants to try something he physically can't do so without being sick.

I'm still getting over the idea of being a 2 year old in a house with fish sticks, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, cheese-its etc. as dining options. I did not have such an experience. Nor did I, as far as I know, have the experience of dictating to my parents what I was going to eat, I think it was the other way round. I definitely went through the I *won't* eat it phase (known as my entire childhood, I believe) but maybe that was because I didn't have the option of living on french fries which I'm sure I would have eaten 24-7 had someone introduced this as a possibliity. Those things were known as occasional treats. Like at a fair. Like every several months, if that.

Stop feeding your kids junk. Stop eating junk. There will be tons of other things to fight about, but at least everyone will be healthier and without lifelong weight issues.

she did let me know that what I didn't eat for breakfast would be served to me again, this time cold from the refrigerator, when I returned home for lunch. Occasionally, I went back to school after a lunch of cold cream of wheat. It didn't happen often, but there were no surprises -- my mother was very clear about what would happen if I didn't eat my breakfast, and she stuck to it.

This would be my mom...

Tell her too many chicken nuggets will turn her into a chicken???

this would be my dad...