What do you say to "food pushers" at work?
pico6222
Posts: 14 Member
There are lots of people who aggressively push food at me at work. Even if I say "no, thank you" or provide a half-truth excuse (I can't eat sugar early in the day because I'll crash later), they continue to push! I've had everything from someone literally shoving cake in my face saying "You HAVE to eat it, I MADE it!" to a coworker saying "Stop being so healthy!".
I don't want to share my personal business with everyone, and I don't want to be rude to a coworker. However, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable to be publicly put on the spot for not eating their food, especially in meetings when lots of people are watching.
I know these people do not have malicious intentions, and that often they push food because of their own insecurities. What can I say that is not rude when consistently saying "no, thank you" or giving excuses is not enough?
I don't want to share my personal business with everyone, and I don't want to be rude to a coworker. However, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable to be publicly put on the spot for not eating their food, especially in meetings when lots of people are watching.
I know these people do not have malicious intentions, and that often they push food because of their own insecurities. What can I say that is not rude when consistently saying "no, thank you" or giving excuses is not enough?
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Replies
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I usually end up round-filing it. If it's a meeting or something, I may take a bite or two if it's something special--like actually homemade. I've never been able to bake successfully, so homemade goodies are definitely a big treat for me. Mostly though, I cut pieces off whatever's on my plate, mush it around some so that it looks like I ate more than I did and then I toss it on my way out the door. Either that or I take it back to my office and toss it there. It's easier than an awkward conversation about what I eat and when.6
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For the worst of them, I take it, walk back to my desk, and throw it in the trash. In a meeting I’d probably take it and let it sit in front of me (maybe poke at it a bit) through the meeting and then take it back to my desk and throw it in the trash.4
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Good suggestions. It makes me kinda sad that faking it is what works
I guess I could take it home to my partner.0 -
Youre over thinking it. Just say no thank you with a smile as much as you can. This response is appropriate regardless of gender' religion or age gap.2
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You aren't being rude for saying no, they are being rude for not listening. Keep saying no, taking it and throwing it away is fake and wasteful and encourages them to keep doing it.12
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sammidelvecchio wrote: »You aren't being rude for saying no, they are being rude for not listening. Keep saying no, taking it and throwing it away is fake and wasteful and encourages them to keep doing it.
Meh. I don’t owe anyone my time. Some people are very, very pushy and for those people I’m not going to say no 1000 times, I say no once or twice after that I don’t care if I’m being wasteful, I’m just taking it and throwing it away because I’ve got better ways to spend my time.
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For a while I faked it, I would take a small piece of something and eat it despite not wanting to or would take something to my desk and not eat it but I found that by "faking it" I still had to face the same issue of being aggressively pushed food all of the time.
Eventually I started just smiling and saying "no thank you I appreciate the offer but I don't want to eat that." If someone continued to push I would just repeat myself and say "while I appreciate the offer I already told you I don't want to eat that so i'm not going to eat that." Bluntness was really the only thing that worked, I found that if I caved at all during this time they were conditioned to repeat the behavior. It took a couple of months but after doing this consistently no one ever tries to pressure me into taking food I don't want, they'll simply let me know that someone brought something in just in case i'm interested.
Edit to add it's not rude to turn down a coworkers food in a polite manner, it IS rude to pressure your coworkers into doing something they don't want to do that has absolutely nothing to do with work.14 -
Say “no, thank you” and be done with it. If they keep at it, that’s on them, not you.
Don’t ever feel that you need to explain yourself. That’s crazy!4 -
Yell: "No! Get that crappy junk food out of my face, are you trying to kill me?"
(It helps if you spread the rumor that you are pre-diabetic.)
I guarantee that, after a few times, people will stop offering sweets to you. But, as a consequence, if people observe you eating sweets, they may speak condescendingly to you about it.1 -
I hate this kind of junk.
I don't have any of those on my current team, but I have some of them in my family and it's so absurd.
With family, I can ate least push back and fight and it's worth the effort, or just get enough to have a taste and then I can render an opinion if it's good or terrible or whatever. At work, it's just not worth it because none of these people matter to me and particularly in the middle of a meeting it's just a distraction and a drain on productivity.
I say I'm not hungry when it's offered (I'm not, I planned my meals/snacks, I'm good). If they keep pushing and want to give me a piece to eat later, then I'll take it and leave the meeting room with it and throw it away at my desk. Usually I'll have a bite just so I will know if it was good and the person should get a compliment on their baking, because really, that's what people who bake want, they want feedback. They want to know if whatever new thing they have created is really good, or if it's just an experiment that fell flat. A bite to offer feedback isn't going to derail me, but I won't eat the whole thing, and I don't want it causing issues at meetings either.1 -
My preferences are:
- No thanks (short and simple)
- No thanks, I'm not hungry
- I'll take a piece for later (only if I want it - then eat at desk later or take it home)
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"You don't want to see me when I am on a sugar high! I always get critically dangerous to people around me!" (or insert anything else you don't want to eat from someone else's dirty plastic container...) Or:
Put an empty glass jar on your desk with a label: "Financial contributions for my next doctor / hospital visit requested after eating all your junk food". That might do the trick.1 -
Assume they mean you no harm and assume they believe that you want to say "yes" but need to be talked into it so you can remain pleasant and professional at first.
First attempt: "No Thanks"
Second attempt: "I am not going to change my mind"
Third attempt: "How many times are you going to offer me food I have refused?"
Anything after 3 and you will need to show your displeasure/anger at the harassment so they can see you are not just joking around.
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Return awkward to sender. Say no thanks first. If you get "but you haaaave to" or "stop being so healthy" the response is:
"wow, what an odd thing to say."
Or "I'll assume you're joking, since that would be really rude otherwise."
Call out their bad behavior as being what it is: weird. And bad.
The flat "wow" with a blank stare works also.12 -
I'm in the "No, thank you" camp, but my co-workers would never try to push anything.2
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Take it, say you'll have it for dinner at home, then throw it away later on.1
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I agree with bits and pieces of all the other responses, but I feel like my course of action varies with the specific person and whatever they're "pushing". Some people I wouldn't want to hurt their feelings. Some I wouldn't mind a bit. It varies. I would never eat something I truly didn't want but I might take 1 bite or accept a cupcake and just taste the frosting later on...stuff like that.
I feel lucky that my current workplace doesn't have any offenders in this area. No one eats in the office regularly and we never do potluck or anything like birthday celebrations. We do have sales reps who bring in donuts or pizza but no one monitors intake. Occasionally I'll have one of those, but many times I don't. Staff meals are catered and infrequent, maybe 3 per year. As silly as it may sound, I feel like this is one of the hidden perks in my company (only half-kidding)!3 -
There are lots of people who aggressively push food at me at work. Even if I say "no, thank you" or provide a half-truth excuse (I can't eat sugar early in the day because I'll crash later), they continue to push! I've had everything from someone literally shoving cake in my face saying "You HAVE to eat it, I MADE it!" to a coworker saying "Stop being so healthy!".
I don't want to share my personal business with everyone, and I don't want to be rude to a coworker. However, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable to be publicly put on the spot for not eating their food, especially in meetings when lots of people are watching.
I know these people do not have malicious intentions, and that often they push food because of their own insecurities. What can I say that is not rude when consistently saying "no, thank you" or giving excuses is not enough?
I think you said it very well: if you replied with the bolded, what could they say? If they continue to insist, maybe add: "please don't make me go to Human Resources."1 -
I usually go with a simple "No, thank you" and a smile. If they keep pushing, I lose my smile and just stare back in silence until it becomes awkward for them.2
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There are lots of people who aggressively push food at me at work. Even if I say "no, thank you" or provide a half-truth excuse (I can't eat sugar early in the day because I'll crash later), they continue to push! I've had everything from someone literally shoving cake in my face saying "You HAVE to eat it, I MADE it!" to a coworker saying "Stop being so healthy!".
I don't want to share my personal business with everyone, and I don't want to be rude to a coworker. However, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable to be publicly put on the spot for not eating their food, especially in meetings when lots of people are watching.
I know these people do not have malicious intentions, and that often they push food because of their own insecurities. What can I say that is not rude when consistently saying "no, thank you" or giving excuses is not enough?
Take it, have one bite, and throw the rest in the trash.3 -
I just say "no, thank you". Repeatedly most of the time. No excuses needed. I found excuses opened the door to more dialogue such as "why not", "oh come on", "just take a bite, it won't hurt", "you'll burn it right off" etc.
No is a complete sentence.
Even after saying no thank you over and over I've had a couple people fix me something and literately shoved it my face. I just shoved it right back and walked away. They haven't offered me any food since. lol5 -
This just happened to me at work this morning!!!
4 ladies each pressured me and repeatedly!!!
1. Thank you, but I already ate
2. Thanks, I'm trying to slim down and started walking away
3. However the 3rd lady was my boss and she walked after me trying to convince me saying that they hosted and we'll take turns hosting as a department. I said, "I love your idea and I love celebrating. But I'm trying to slim down right now. Patted my abs, politely chuckled a fake one, smiled and walked away.
4. Office manager asked did you eat? I shook my head, patted my abs, smiled, and walked away. She gave me a very disapproving look but that's her personality so I don't take it personally.
Key is, when the going gets tough - WALK AWAY with a smile knowing you are taking care of yourself not trying to please others because in the end, you have to live with yourself 24 7.
Holiday parties are already here so more tempters and ambushes to come. Gear up, anticipate, practice that smile, and walk away.4 -
There are lots of people who aggressively push food at me at work. Even if I say "no, thank you" or provide a half-truth excuse (I can't eat sugar early in the day because I'll crash later), they continue to push! I've had everything from someone literally shoving cake in my face saying "You HAVE to eat it, I MADE it!" to a coworker saying "Stop being so healthy!".
I don't want to share my personal business with everyone, and I don't want to be rude to a coworker. However, it makes me incredibly uncomfortable to be publicly put on the spot for not eating their food, especially in meetings when lots of people are watching.
I know these people do not have malicious intentions, and that often they push food because of their own insecurities. What can I say that is not rude when consistently saying "no, thank you" or giving excuses is not enough?
Take it, have one bite, and throw the rest in the trash.
For those who disagreed: this worked for me for 40 years until I retired. They were happy they pushed food on me and I did no damage to my waistline. Amazing how easy it is to keep the peace just by keeping your mouth shut . . . and how easy it is to not overeat by getting rid of the food ASAP.2 -
People should get the hint and stop being so pushy all the time. If you don't want to eat their food it's your choice, not because you think their food is nasty, because you simply do not want to eat it. You shouldn't make up an excuse just for this, they should respect your decision, after all it's your choice whay you feed your body.2
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Start with ‘no thanks’ and when they keep going, move onto, ‘I don’t want it.’
After several times, say, ‘why are you still asking me to eat food I don’t want?’
Also, if you have the option to walk away, do so.4 -
Do not be afraid to say "i appreciate the offer however you are making me uncomfortable." The more you say it, the less people will push, stand up for your lifestyle choices and don't be afraid of offending someone, you are stronger and better than that. 😙 Good Luck!!3
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No thank you I have strict orders from the doctor to eat a certain way.1
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