The post - This is it!

Hi, I'm Dayna. I'm 26, 5.5" and weigh 85kgs.

I have been on MFP and trying for 5 years. I fail. Every time. I have put on 20kgs in this year alone. My weight bounces from 70-85kgs, and the time I did my best I weighed 64kgs, two years ago.

I always fail, I always give up, I emotion binge, I undereat, I live off coffee, and then I eat well, exercise, motivate myself, then I repeat.

This post is to keep a date, to keep myself accountable, to kick myself up the *kitten*. I always say I will, and I mean it, but I don't. I can be lazy, I can be tired, I can be stressed and anxious. I can be depressed, but I also can be happy as.

I can't keep stable. My weight yo-yos, my mental health yo-yos, my lifestyle yo-yos.

I really need help. I'm not very independent, but with help and change I become independent, gain confidence, and love life. And I need to keep it that way.

In 6 months I will come back to this post, I've set an alarm in my calendar. And I better friggin be in a place where I am getting somewhere. I don't want cancer, I don't want to die early, I don't want to be fat and sad, I don't want to give up AGAIN and AGAIN.

I'm not expecting responses, but I appreciate anything anyone can bring to the table. Advice, successes, real hard truth. I'm setting myself up to die early, and that doesn't seem to be enough to stick to it. I hate pity, but I do it.

TODAYS MY DAY.



Replies

  • RainbowDash36
    RainbowDash36 Posts: 21 Member
    Wow! You sound a lot like me. This is my 2nd(?) time on here.
  • stephanieadudley
    stephanieadudley Posts: 11 Member
    edited November 2019
    Hi Dayna!

    I always fail, I always give up, I emotion binge, I undereat, I live off coffee, and then I eat well, exercise, motivate myself, then I repeat. <- You WILL NOT fail this time. Emotional eating is a bish, but you have to find a way to cope around it - go for a walk, clean the house, go window shopping, take a drive, go on a hike, find a new recipe or new recipes and meal prep.

    Add friends who will help you stay accountable. You can add me if you want. I have been on MFP for years and have gone back and forth 5 lbs here and there but I figured it out and I'm down 16.4 lbs in 96 days.

    I can't keep stable. <- YES you can. My weight yo-yos <- This could be genetic but something you can work around. my mental health yo-yos <- find ways to cope if that is what you need (exercise, yoga, meditation, reading, personal growth, lastly meds if they are necessary). my lifestyle yo-yos. <- how so and how does that keep you from reaching your goals.

    I really need help. I'm not very independent, but with help and change I become independent, gain confidence, and love life. And I need to keep it that way. Start a gratitude journal. You'll see how blessed you are. Life is amazing, Dayna, but we all have highs and lows.

    In 6 months I will come back to this post, I've set an alarm in my calendar. And I better friggin be in a place where I am getting somewhere. I don't want cancer, I don't want to die early, I don't want to be fat and sad, I don't want to give up AGAIN and AGAIN. <- In 6 months, you WILL be in a better place where you are stronger, more motivated and seeing results.

    Advice, successes, real hard truth. I'm setting myself up to die early, and that doesn't seem to be enough to stick to it. <- Don't wait until you are too sick to start. Find your WHY. It has to be important to you enough to keep going when it gets hard.

    TODAY'S MY DAY. <- YES, it is. Find your caloric needs ( for a sedentary lifestyle - even if you aren't). https://www.active.com/fitness/calculators/calories

    Find how much protein you need - roughly .08 to 1.25 grams per lb lean body mass and then factor in fats and carbs(don't try low carb - I'm eating 130 to 140 carbs a day and losing weight - do not deprive yourself of the carbs!) and set those macros into your MFP. You might have to get the premium version for $50 a year. It's worth it! Hit as close to those macro goals as you can, and you will see your weight change. Remember that there will be times you are hungry (your fat cells really do this thing when they start to empty - they send out signals for you to eat so they can be full again (look up leptin and ghrelin). SLEEP is also a HUGE factor. If you are consistently short on sleep, your body is going to crave carby food for immediate energy, so GET YOUR SLEEP. It is okay to be hungry, just know it doesn't always mean you need to eat. You have to eat enough,and you must eat enough protein for sure, that is where your muscle protein synthesis comes in. You want to lose weight and keep the beautiful muscle to keep your metabolism revved! If you need help with your basal metabolic rate and macro numbers. just ask. You'll need a little $10 food scale that weighs in grams from Amazon, because unless you weigh, you don't really know how much you are eating. You can also view food diaries of friends etc if you need motivation or help with food ideas. You got this!
  • ReenieHJ
    ReenieHJ Posts: 9,724 Member
    One important thing I noticed was you say 'I always' do this and that. Well, change your negative self-talk to 'I can' and 'I will', no maybes, no more putting it off, no more 'I blew it for today, there's always tomorrow'(oh wait that was mine).
    And baby steps. I know, I know, you've heard it all before. :) Well, so had I. When I had lots of weight to lose, I didn't want to hear baby steps or small changes. I wanted it to happen, as in yesterday. But make healthy changes, whether it's add a few minutes of exercise a day or reduce your junk food intake(that is my big downfall), replacing it with food you do like. Counting my calories here has been very helpful!!
    Soon it all becomes an easier habit to maintain and every time you skip exercise for a day or overeat, you'll feel the guilt enough to say oops, let's stay on track here immediately, not tomorrow, or next week, but immediately.

    Good luck to you!!!
  • Go_Deskercise
    Go_Deskercise Posts: 1,630 Member
    You got this!!! We are all on here trying to do our best. I've been here since June of 2014 and I still struggling most days!
  • Go_Deskercise
    Go_Deskercise Posts: 1,630 Member
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  • Viking_Dad
    Viking_Dad Posts: 185 Member
    You haven't failed, because you haven't given up.