Divorced with Children?????

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  • NicolCook
    NicolCook Posts: 489 Member
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    So your upset that he was getting $17.50 from you, per Dr visit? And you think since the co-pay is $0, your portion should be $0?

    Do you think because there is no "copay" that the insurance is free? Your husband and his wife are paying the insurance premium for your son,, and your "confronting" him over a 17$ copay????

    From the fact you were paying the copay, I wil assume that it was not in the Divorce agreement that your husband pay everything..and quite sure it wasn't in there that his new wife supplement your sons insurance,, which is why the copay went to $0.
    Uhmm...I'm assuming the husband was court ordered to pay for the child's insurance, which is pretty typical. Then they have an agreement to split the COPAYS. If there is NO copay, then why should she be paying the husband anything?? It has nothing to do with him paying the premiums, it has to do with the fact that he is charging her money for copays when there is none.

    Also, I work in a medical billing company. Did you (OP) pay the copays that were refunded to you? If so, your husband is being ridiculous. If HE paid them, then the doctor's office is probably incorrect in giving you that money back because it didn't come out of your pocket. But doctor's offices aren't in charge of keeping up with your divorce agreements, so they probably had no idea. Your husband is incorrect in assuming that because he holds the insurance that he should get all the money back regardless of who pays it. If you paid it, it's your refund.

    I paid the copayments. They have my checks at the dr office and knew that I shouldn't have paid. That is why they issued the check to me. My ex did reimburse me for the copays when I took my son to the doctor, so I told him that I owe him half of the check and will be paying him this week when our son goes back for his week with them.

    He is just extremely bitter and trying to take it out on me, not realizing that it is only harming our son.
  • JellyJaks
    JellyJaks Posts: 589 Member
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    Yeah, contact an attorney. The cost of a brief chat with him/her will probably run in the neighborhood of $200 for 15 minutes. Who is willing to pay that kind of money to argue over a copay?

    This! It's $17! If at the end of the day paying $17 to get your son medical care is the worst thing that happens to you, you're luckier than more than half of the human population. Stop making a mountain out of a molehill and spend your energy doing something more productive...and btw real classy posting the entire email and all your dirty laundry on the internet for a bunch of strangers to read.
  • ChristineMarie89
    ChristineMarie89 Posts: 1,142 Member
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    your rite u shudnt have to pay if ther is nothing to pay no matter how little it is. you rite hes wrong go talk to ur attorney
  • bouldert
    bouldert Posts: 225 Member
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    tell them that he(ex) won't give you the insurance info and they can bill him(ex)

    I'd be extremely surprised if they would agree to that without his consent.
    it would hurt both their credit reports and they would eventually go after who ever they can collect from and it is usaully the father in my case ,but i think the fair thing would be to be civilized about it and keep both insurances and if u have to give 17.50 up once in awhile thats better than paying a premium every week.
  • luv_lea
    luv_lea Posts: 1,094 Member
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    I have a contentious relationship with my ex, too... And to be honest, unless that co-pay is $100 it is not worth the schism. They are being a-holes, but you going along with it is a small price to pay.

    If the step-mom is also insuring him she is also paying for that coverage - as is your ex. You're still getting a deal, I suspect.

    Regardless, it's not worth the argument.

    ^^This. I was told a long time ago 'choose your fights wisely.' If I didn't do this with my ex, it would be way more drama than I have time for.
  • summertime_girl
    summertime_girl Posts: 3,945 Member
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    It's not the co-pay that's the issue though. It's that the dad is willing to throw a fit, drop coverage, disallow her from having an insurance card, change doctors, etc.

    I get that the $17.50 is really a negligible amount of money in the grand scheme of things. The fact that he has the power to do the above is what would make me put a call into the attorney.
  • kdouglas11
    kdouglas11 Posts: 185 Member
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    Yeah, contact an attorney. The cost of a brief chat with him/her will probably run in the neighborhood of $200 for 15 minutes. Who is willing to pay that kind of money to argue over a copay?

    But, the husband would have to pay the bill... LOL... Ihave a better idea... get married to your baby and stay married... for better or worse... in America for better or if I find better or don't want to put up with life's complications anymore.

    Shoulda thought about all the annoyances of having an EX before you got married AND divroced.
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,231 Member
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    On a side note, when I left I was civil with him and tried to do what was best for our son. I do not, and have not ever received any childsupport payments either. I have always tried to keep my son's best interests at heart.....it is so hard to do when any communication turns into drama.

    They will not allow me to have my ex's cell phone number and I am not allowed to call my son on it. I have to have correspondence with them over facebook (private msgs) or their home phone. So, I choose fb so I have documentation of it all. Phone calls go nowhere fast and turn ugly......and I have no proof of what was said, so fb is the way I see to go. Ugh, exhausting....

    Co-parenting classes, STAT! I would also consider therapy for your son, can't hurt for him to have someone neutral to speak with about all this "stuff".
  • farmers_daughter
    farmers_daughter Posts: 1,632 Member
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    Very simple you take the child to the doctor when he needs to go to the doctor, and if there isn't a co-pay, there isn't a co-pay regardless of who takes him.
    If your dumb@ss ex screws up and loses coverage on your son, then you take him to court for not carrying the coverage that he is required to. If he doesn't cover him then you get coverage on him, if you don't have any coverage available thru work or what not...I hate to say it, there is always as a last resort a government funded insurance for kids.
    You are still mom, you still get to make choices. Ignore everything that he says. It only creates unecessary stress on you. He's being a retard.
    If the tables were turned you likely would not expect him to pay you anything, you are doing whatever it takes to make sure your son is taken care of.
    If he doesn't give you an insurance card, then pay the entire doctor bill and turn around and sue his happy word flinging @ss for the whole darn bill, you have the right to, and then maybe he'll shut up.
    I can only assume you put a roof over his head, food on the table and make sure he is happy and well. Forget your ex and turn him in for harassment, you have the evidence. Plain and simple.
  • cargotrailer
    cargotrailer Posts: 62 Member
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    So, I confront him through a msg about it

    Interesting how the father is being judged based on the message that the mother posted, attributed to him,, but we don't have the luxury of seeing her original message that initiated the conversation!
  • SamiSamiBoBlammy
    SamiSamiBoBlammy Posts: 868 Member
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    So, I confront him through a msg about it

    Interesting how the father is being judged based on the message that the mother posted, attributed to him,, but we don't have the luxury of seeing her original message that initiated the conversation!

    I agree. Props to a man who takes on 50/50 custody, carries 2 insurance policies on the kid

    Correct me if I'm wrong - but with 50/50 custody - BOTH parents have a say in what happens to the child, so definitely don't take the advice above and "Ignore everything that he says. It only creates unecessary stress on you. He's being a retard." or you might find yourself in court. He's not being retarded - he's being a father, who has the right to make those decisions.

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