Overweight partners, NEAT, and the division of labour

Orphia
Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
edited December 2019 in Goal: Maintaining Weight
I don't want to sound like I want to insult my beloved (I'm certainly not trying to), but fit and healthy people do actually feel tired sometimes, especially after a trying day at work.

And when anyone is tired, we can feel or sound resentful and grumpy.

I've got a lot more to say about NEAT and the conflicts in an overweight person's mind that say, "I'm overweight and shouldn't eat anything, and I'm hungry, and feeling weak, so I'll just leave this thing here..."

I'd appreciate hugs if you can sort of see where I'm going with this, and will give hugs in return if you say you relate.

Replies

  • RetiredAndLovingIt
    RetiredAndLovingIt Posts: 1,394 Member
    My sis-in-law got a Roomba & loves it. I could tell from all the pop ups that we get now, that dh was looking at them, too. I told him I didn't need it, I just need to be less lazy, lol. Then I got to thinking, maybe it would be nice..so now, I am encouraging checking into them. Of course, we are both retired, so I have the time to do it, just not the inclination, lol.
  • InspectorRed
    InspectorRed Posts: 757 Member
    I walked in the door yesterday to find a sink full of dirty dishes and hubby napping on the couch....he took the day off yesterday, slept in, did a little shopping, and then apparently still felt wore out enough for a nap and he is in relatively good shape (we both go to the gym every morning)...I was annoyed but we have been married 26 years so I would have been more surprised if the dishes had been done LOL!
    I notice the little messes around the house a lot more than he does, sometimes he just doesn't seem to realize that things need picked up or cleaned. He is way better now than he was a few years ago when I ASK for help, but nagging or whining about what he didn't do NEVER works, only causes arguments.
  • ellie117
    ellie117 Posts: 293 Member
    RetiredAndLovingIt wrote: »
    My sis-in-law got a Roomba & loves it. I could tell from all the pop ups that we get now, that dh was looking at them, too. I told him I didn't need it, I just need to be less lazy, lol. Then I got to thinking, maybe it would be nice..so now, I am encouraging checking into them. Of course, we are both retired, so I have the time to do it, just not the inclination, lol.

    I will say, as a Roomba owner for almost a year now, it is amazing. I almost think it's a requirement for pet owners, if price wasn't such an inhibitor. If you can afford it, get it!
  • ellie117
    ellie117 Posts: 293 Member
    InspectorRed wrote: »
    I notice the little messes around the house a lot more than he does, sometimes he just doesn't seem to realize that things need picked up or cleaned. He is way better now than he was a few years ago when I ASK for help, but nagging or whining about what he didn't do NEVER works, only causes arguments.

    The bold, definitely. My husband and I do split chores but he normally does the more physical labor ones like fixing or moving things while I do the nagging ones like clean. We've discussed it a few times and he has said more than once that he just doesn't notice that the bathroom isn't clean or that the dishwasher needs emptying. It's not a point of contention though, moreso just a fact of the matter. He has no issue doing the dishes if I ask, or he'll do the dishes while I cook dinner or vice versa.

    I think communication is the best way to avoid these little nags turning into bigger issues. If he doesn't do something, don't yell at him. Don't hold it in, either. Say something like, "hey next time you take a day off, would you mind doing a little something around the house?"
  • tuddy315
    tuddy315 Posts: 11,291 Member
    edited December 2019
    pinuplove wrote: »

    I will say, as a Roomba owner for almost a year now, it is amazing. I almost think it's a requirement for pet owners, if price wasn't such an inhibitor. If you can afford it, get it!
    I would love one but it would choke on all the stray socks my little darlings leave lying around :lol: (A whole other issue itself)[/quote]

    At my house, if it is lying on the floor it must be garbage. Bye bye garbage!!!
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    edited December 2019
    tuddy315 wrote: »
    pinuplove wrote: »
    ?I will say, as a Roomba owner for almost a year now, it is amazing. I almost think it's a requirement for pet owners, if price wasn't such an inhibitor. If you can afford it, get it!
    I would love one but it would choke on all the stray socks my little darlings leave lying around :lol: (A whole other issue itself)

    At my house, if it is lying on the floor it must be garbage. Bye bye garbage!!!

    Getting fit and healthy and tidy has made me very alert to global waste, overconsumption, and use of non-renewable resources.

    I'm starting to see it as actually a form of art trying to keep all these things including emotions and relationships in balance.

    If anyone finds a good link about the global benefits of investing in one of those, compared to my getting out a broom every week or two, please share. x

    Yes, I'm aware I could sound obsessive to some. :)
  • pridesabtch
    pridesabtch Posts: 2,293 Member
    Orphia wrote: »
    tuddy315 wrote: »
    pinuplove wrote: »
    ?I will say, as a Roomba owner for almost a year now, it is amazing. I almost think it's a requirement for pet owners, if price wasn't such an inhibitor. If you can afford it, get it!
    I would love one but it would choke on all the stray socks my little darlings leave lying around :lol: (A whole other issue itself)

    At my house, if it is lying on the floor it must be garbage. Bye bye garbage!!!

    Getting fit and healthy and tidy has made me very alert to global waste, overconsumption, and use of non-renewable resources.

    I'm starting to see it as actually a form of art trying to keep all these things including emotions and relationships in balance.

    If anyone finds a good link about the global benefits of investing in one of those, compared to my getting out a broom every week or two, please share. x

    Yes, I'm aware I could sound obsessive to some. :)

    Honestly, if you only need a broom every week or two, it may not be a big deal for you. I have wood floors a golden retriever and a boxer. My floors need done every couple of days. Heck, if it goes more than a few days I will have to sweep up a bit before I can even run the Roomba. It is a huge time saver for me to be able to let it run while I make dinner.
  • katsheare
    katsheare Posts: 1,025 Member
    @Orphia Well said!! While it’s less confusing than ‘woo’, ‘disagree’ is considerably more disheartening to see (except when something’s empirically inaccurate...)

    I’m not the mess noticer in our house, but we do have a mostly-agreed understanding that things need to be at a certain level of doneness before we go to bed. And I have a couple areas of chaos which I’m allowed to maintain. So I feel sympathy both ways: no, being fit doesn’t mean you have infinite amounts of energy all the time (no matter what those selling something may say) but also having those blind spots is hard. I’ve been actively trying for 10 years to not have them. So yes, when he starts tidying you better believe I jump.

Categories