How do you get over people not liking you?
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For me there is really one person that I really care that likes me and that is my husband! He is my best friend in the whole world. I have few good friends and some acquaintances. I don't care if everyone likes me. As long as people aren't a-holes to me, I will treat them nicely.1
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You can't control other people; you only have control over your reactions.
TarryTaffy, I'm an introvert and think there is much truth in what you've said. I only have a couple of close friends in my life. But it's always bothered me if I get shunned or snubbed by someone. I always think it's my fault, something I've done, they don't like me for some silly reason. These days I try very hard to separate fact from making things up in my own head. I'm the type of person who, if I walk into a room at the same moment someone starts laughing, I automatically assume it's all about me.
Yep, I'm pathetic. 
Changing those feelings can be difficult and take time but it's a work in progress. 2 -
What do I do? Nothing. If they want to have hate towards someone they dont know, that's on them. I hope they sleep well at night knowing they don't take up any of my headspace.
Now, if they hate me because of my actions and I personally did something harmful or hurtful then I deserve it. I'm fully aware of my wrong doings and I apologize for them. All I can do is ask forgiveness and go on with my day.2 -
I have found that if animals like you then you are great and shouldn't care what other humans think.8
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There are 7 billion people on the planet and at least 6 billion of them are self-absorbed idiots - why give any one of them that much power over you?
Focus on liking yourself; another person's opinion of you and $2.50 will buy you a cup of coffee.3 -
I have found that if animals like you then you are great and shouldn't care what other humans think.
I use my cats as a marker for who are potential "problem people", not gonna lie. If my cats don't like you, that's a problem. I say that because despite cats having a reputation for being aloof and uncaring, my cats (all three of them) are quite needy and love people attention. If even they don't want your attention, that's a red flag.
Also, they are an excellent detector of who is allergic to them.
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CanesGalactica wrote: »I have found that if animals like you then you are great and shouldn't care what other humans think.
I use my cats as a marker for who are potential "problem people", not gonna lie. If my cats don't like you, that's a problem. I say that because despite cats having a reputation for being aloof and uncaring, my cats (all three of them) are quite needy and love people attention. If even they don't want your attention, that's a red flag.
Also, they are an excellent detector of who is allergic to them.
I do the same thing! I once sent an electrician away before he'd even started the job because my elderly cat didn't like him.2 -
CanesGalactica wrote: »I have found that if animals like you then you are great and shouldn't care what other humans think.
I use my cats as a marker for who are potential "problem people", not gonna lie. If my cats don't like you, that's a problem. I say that because despite cats having a reputation for being aloof and uncaring, my cats (all three of them) are quite needy and love people attention. If even they don't want your attention, that's a red flag.
Also, they are an excellent detector of who is allergic to them.
100% true. I've also found the reverse to be true, too. If someone (especially an SO) doesn't like my animals, it's a red flag that they're jealous I'm giving attention to something other than them. At least in my experience.0 -
I have found that if animals like you then you are great and shouldn't care what other humans think.
Its the oddest thing, I've had 2 animals recently who shied away from me when I went to pet them, in December, 2 weeks apart. Normally animals love me, but not these two.
As for the original post, this is something my therapist and I are struggling with. Being friendless while growing up, I want everyone to like me until I find those deep friendships. But the paradox is, if your too general, you can't tailor your approach to forming those friendships.3 -
cyaneverfat wrote: »I take it too personally, have an intense desire to know why people don't like me and most of the time can't work out why someone doesn't like me. It results in me not liking me.
Yes, me, me, me. I saw it too lol.
How old are you?
Not trying to be funny but typically young girls worry about this. As you get older and wiser typically you don't care what people think.2 -
Maybe I'm just old and a little grizzled, but I just don't care.....3
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I think you should try harder to get them to like you. If it's a guy that doesnt like you, get all sexied up and flirt. If it's a girl, tell her how beautiful she looks. If it's an animal, bring it a treat. If that doesnt qork, lock them in your basement to teach them a lesson6
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I think you should try harder to get them to like you. If it's a guy that doesnt like you, get all sexied up and flirt. If it's a girl, tell her how beautiful she looks. If it's an animal, bring it a treat. If that doesnt qork, lock them in your basement to teach them a lesson
Or this.1 -
I like it when people don't like me...3
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They say I don't like you ! I say Look man, everybody funny, now you funny too
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cyaneverfat wrote: »cyaneverfat wrote: »
God didn’t give you an elbow for no reason.
You didn’t answer my question. Are these people you have to deal with on a daily basis?
Oh sorry. I didn't see the question. One person I see daily and they are terrible. The feeling is mutual though.
Turn your discomfort into satisfaction somehow idk..
For me I find it amusing ( and satisfying) when someone doesn’t like me, I play into it, i do and say triggering things that I know will irk them and get a good laugh at watching them turn into a pretzel. usually just living your best life will do the trick.
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You don’t like me that’s your loss. If they don’t like me that’s their loss. The people that truly matter to me love me and I love them. If you’re not under my umbrella I could give a 🐀🍑 what they think, say, gossip whatever about me because that’s their opinion and it doesn’t matter. You shouldn’t care. Better yet do they pay your bills probably not even more reason not to care what they think.
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How do you get over people not liking you?
I think you kinda don't get over it, you just realize throughout time that it happens, and you don't understand why - and eventually learn that that is ok, even tho it hurts. Their reasons can be so many different things.
It's not your business or concern why other people do what they do, or think and feel what they do.
Be true to yourself, as best you can - and see what happens
(I have had a few people who were dicks to me turn a new leaf and have become friendly - I just ignored their hate and treated them nicely (true to me) and now we are quite friendly (so I perceive))
Anyways, I'm sorry you feel hurt
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You dont get people to like you.....you learn how to like yourself and then you can be confident that those who like you are worth your time, and those that dont arent in line with you anyway and arent worth your time. Its about you, not them.7
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Everyone is different.0
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I think the OP posted the primary person in question is a family member...but it got lost in the (amusing) noise.
OP--just because you are related doesn't mean you are family. blood makes you related; love makes you family.
My relatives are terrible and abusive and I walked away a long time ago. I'm happier and healthier because of it. If they have a problem with you, it is their problem. Be the best you and be happy with yourself.
The B***hole Surfers had (one) thing right--you never know just how you look through other people's eyes. And would you want to? So disorienting. And unproductive.
edit: and now I'm lmao--I edited because it replaced B***hole (the actual letters, not ***) with *kitten*...MFP! IT IS THE NAME OF A BAND. NOT SWEARING!!! And to be fair, by all accounts, they are *kittens*.0 -
When you focus on why people don't like you, and you start changing yourself based on their expectations, you aren't being true to yourself. If someone gives you honest feedback about why they don't like you, evaluate that feedback and decide for yourself if that is something you want to work on. If you like that characteristic about yourself and someone else doesn't like it, then that's just a personality difference. Move on.
Realize that people are different and not everyone likes everyone else, and that's ok.
Work on improving yourself, for yourself. Whatever you like about yourself, keep it. Whatever you don't like about yourself, change it. When you are truly happy with yourself, it doesn't matter as much what other people think.
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Ask yourself, why does it matter? Why is that you want to know? For me personally, I don't out too much stock into what people think of me, because for the most part it doesn’t affect me. I have to live with myself for as long as I’m blessed to be here, so my opinion is #1. My close family and friends follow right behind. Everyone else is on a case to case business. Does it affect me that they don’t like me? If it does, I do what I can to fix the situation, if no, then I’m at peace with it.2
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Unless them liking me BENEFITS me or my family, I don't care. There are other things in life to worry about that are much more important that trying to portray yourself as someone that everyone likes. You can be the kindest most unselfish person in the world and still have haters. That's just how humans are.
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TwitchyMacGee wrote: »I think you should try harder to get them to like you. If it's a guy that doesnt like you, get all sexied up and flirt. If it's a girl, tell her how beautiful she looks. If it's an animal, bring it a treat. If that doesnt qork, lock them in your basement to teach them a lesson
Or this.
I must admit this is me 😏 I’m not trying harder to get them to like me, I’m just being patronising then I would lock them in the basement until they change their attitude.0 -
Sometimes when i find myself worrying too much about whether or not I’m well-liked, i find it helpful to remember that serial killers get flooded with love letters in prison. And other things. I mean people are really weird. Some will reserve friendship only for people with good grammar. Many are afraid of tiny insects or 8 legged critters that weigh in the milligrams. Most of us drink strained bean soup for breakfast.
It kinda begs the question why we care what these oddities think of us at all5
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