Bad day yesterday & 2 dinners planned today
100togo2020
Posts: 16 Member
I was doing so good until yesterday... I had a bad lunch. I tried logging the whole thing but let’s just say, 3 margaritas, 2 slices pizza, plus bread bread bread. I was over 1,000 calories feels like. I tracked it, it shows about 480.
Today- I have two dinners. I will def limit my intake and calories at the first one. 2nd dinner, it’s 13 course, small portions but I wouldn’t even know how to log that in. I am so close to cancelling but I feel bad my friend made reservations and already paid etc. Of course, there will be a lot of wine.
I don’t know how other professionals handle it. I have a lot of lunches and dinners- that’s what makes me stop every time. Struggle is real!
Today- I have two dinners. I will def limit my intake and calories at the first one. 2nd dinner, it’s 13 course, small portions but I wouldn’t even know how to log that in. I am so close to cancelling but I feel bad my friend made reservations and already paid etc. Of course, there will be a lot of wine.
I don’t know how other professionals handle it. I have a lot of lunches and dinners- that’s what makes me stop every time. Struggle is real!
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Replies
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100togo2020 wrote: »I was doing so good until yesterday... I had a bad lunch. I tried logging the whole thing but let’s just say, 3 margaritas, 2 slices pizza, plus bread bread bread. I was over 1,000 calories feels like. I tracked it, it shows about 480.
Today- I have two dinners. I will def limit my intake and calories at the first one. 2nd dinner, it’s 13 course, small portions but I wouldn’t even know how to log that in. I am so close to cancelling but I feel bad my friend made reservations and already paid etc. Of course, there will be a lot of wine.
I don’t know how other professionals handle it. I have a lot of lunches and dinners- that’s what makes me stop every time. Struggle is real!
Whatever you're doing for weight loss, needs to work around your life, but that doesn't mean attending lots of lunches and dinners means you have to eat all the food that is there,it's ok to not eat all the food on the plate, it's ok not to drink all the wine (or not drink any at all).
If the 13 course meal (presumably a tasting menu) is not a regular thing, I wouldn't worry about it in the long run, 1-2 days over your normal calories is not going to undo the rest of your life. But you do need to tackle habits if this is a regular thing that comes up.
Suggest an alternative to lunch/dinner if you can - walking meetings are quite popular or just a coffee. If you're having to entertain clients, get a starter, ask for sauces/dressings on the side, look at menu's ahead of time. Plan ahead and have a lighter lunch/breakfast. Avoid throwing back the margaritas.
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Relax. Realistically the amazing sounding tasting menu and the pizza margarita event may have taken away your deficit for this week
So what to do?
Make plans with friends to go for a hike or out dancing or other social physical activity this weekend. Drink a little extra water. Relax.
Life is not all or nothing. If you are on track 90% of the time you will still get an A and make great progress over time. Stick with it.10 -
Maybe this is just a difference in our workplaces, but these don't all sound like "professional" meals to me. They sound like social events. You said that the 13 course meal is with a friend, and I am pretty sure that a work lunch for me would not include 3 margaritas. Maybe your workplace feels differently. So the first thing I would do is be realistic about what meals are really part of your professional life, and which are social events.
If it's for work, you don't have to have meal meetings. You can suggest a coffee meeting, for example. If you must go out to a meal meeting, you can eat light. And if someone double books you for dinner, then it's okay to say no, you have another dinner meeting that day.10 -
Consistency is the key. Take your "bad" lunch for what it was. Do the best you can and get back on track. Adjust if you feel it is necessary for your mental health, otherwise make plans to start back on track. Beating yourself up and feeling guilty does not help you in the long run.
Keep looking at the bug picture and move on. (By the way... all of the advice about planning ahead, doing something physical, and making weight loss work around your life I would 100% agree with.)1 -
Maybe this is just a difference in our workplaces, but these don't all sound like "professional" meals to me. They sound like social events. You said that the 13 course meal is with a friend, and I am pretty sure that a work lunch for me would not include 3 margaritas. Maybe your workplace feels differently. So the first thing I would do is be realistic about what meals are really part of your professional life, and which are social events.
If it's for work, you don't have to have meal meetings. You can suggest a coffee meeting, for example. If you must go out to a meal meeting, you can eat light. And if someone double books you for dinner, then it's okay to say no, you have another dinner meeting that day.
Yeah, if my workplace expectation was that I have three drinks with lunch, I would be looking for a new job. That doesn't seem sustainable.
I've been at work dinners where drinking was allowed, but there are always people who opt out and plenty of people who just have one drink.
I'm not familiar with every industry, of course.7 -
100togo2020 wrote: »I was doing so good until yesterday... I had a bad lunch. I tried logging the whole thing but let’s just say, 3 margaritas, 2 slices pizza, plus bread bread bread. I was over 1,000 calories feels like. I tracked it, it shows about 480.
Today- I have two dinners. I will def limit my intake and calories at the first one. 2nd dinner, it’s 13 course, small portions but I wouldn’t even know how to log that in. I am so close to cancelling but I feel bad my friend made reservations and already paid etc. Of course, there will be a lot of wine.
I don’t know how other professionals handle it. I have a lot of lunches and dinners- that’s what makes me stop every time. Struggle is real!
I wouldn't change anything about the 13 course meal, which is obviously a special occasion with a fried.
However, I strongly recommend you make better choices about your professional meals. You're not Don Draper - there is no need for a three margarita lunch.
I'm grateful that my days of struggling with alcohol are in the past. A big part of that was the work I did in establishing healthy boundaries.
I question the wisdom of scheduling back-to-back dinners, but now that you've done that, why have any alcoholic intake at all at the first one? You said you planned to "limit intake" - no alcohol would be a better choice. I'm sure you are well aware that alcohol lowers inhibitions and leads people to make bad choices.
I get that there can be a drinking culture at some events. But people should also understand if you are double-booked, and if not, do work on your scheduling (and boundaries) in the future.6 -
I know it's hard but I would try to enjoy the dinner without needless indulgences (seconds and thirds, maybe limit the wine to a couple glasses but cut it off after that.) I also have to fit a lot of work stuff in, including a lot of travel, that make it hard, but I have still managed to lose weight pretty much every week due to a lot of planning and attempts to make good choices when I do go out. Other ways to deal:
Compensate for high days with low days. If I know I'm going out to dinner I will try to deliberately have fairly low calorie days the couple days leading up and the couple days after for balance. I have suggested to people that we meet for coffee instead of lunch and that helps a lot. I also try to pick restaurants where I know the menu and I know there will be an option for me that is not too high calorie. I also try to make sure to get extra exercise in the days I am going out for dinner or drinks to make sure I have some extra room with my calorie intake.
As the person above said, this plan has to work around your life, not the other way around. That may mean that you lose weight more slowly and that's OK too.2 -
100togo2020 wrote: »3 margaritas, 2 slices pizza, plus bread bread bread. I was over 1,000 calories feels like. I tracked it, it shows about 480.
Not to pile on, but this sounds much closer to 1000 calories than to 480.18 -
I struggle with this also. My husband owns a business so it seems like we are always taking clients out for this or that. Have you tried seltzer water with lime in it? People may assume you have a drink and you're off the hook. Or Diet Coke and Bacardi with lime is pretty low calorie. I know if I have a couple of drinks I start not caring what I eat. Maybe even try some intermittent fasting on days you have these meals. Eat within an 8 hour window. Say 12-8 on those days.
Just make sure you eat lunch and don't start out drinking on an empty stomach.
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100togo2020 wrote: »3 margaritas, 2 slices pizza, plus bread bread bread. I was over 1,000 calories feels like. I tracked it, it shows about 480.
Not to pile on, but this sounds much closer to 1000 calories than to 480.
My internal calorie logger puts it over 1600 depending on how many servings 'bread bread bread' means.
OP if you came up with 480 you probably need to work a little harder at logging. You can't just choose the cheapest calorie entries in the database and expect that to work.
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100togo2020 wrote: »3 margaritas, 2 slices pizza, plus bread bread bread. I was over 1,000 calories feels like. I tracked it, it shows about 480.
Not to pile on, but this sounds much closer to 1000 calories than to 480.
My internal calorie logger puts it over 1600 depending on how many servings 'bread bread bread' means.
OP if you came up with 480 you probably need to work a little harder at logging. You can't just choose the cheapest calorie entries in the database and expect that to work.
At least. The margaritas I make at home are ~300 calories each and I don't think that's too far off from many restaurants.6 -
100togo2020 wrote: »3 margaritas, 2 slices pizza, plus bread bread bread. I was over 1,000 calories feels like. I tracked it, it shows about 480.
Not to pile on, but this sounds much closer to 1000 calories than to 480.
My internal calorie logger puts it over 1600 depending on how many servings 'bread bread bread' means.
OP if you came up with 480 you probably need to work a little harder at logging. You can't just choose the cheapest calorie entries in the database and expect that to work.
I would expect one margarita to have at least 225 calories (assuming two ounces of tequila and one ounce of triple sec/Contreau). And that's one I'd make myself. A restaurant version could easily have more due to size or additional ingredients. So I would be logging 675 for the drinks alone.4 -
100togo2020 wrote: »I was doing so good until yesterday... I had a bad lunch. I tried logging the whole thing but let’s just say, 3 margaritas, 2 slices pizza, plus bread bread bread. I was over 1,000 calories feels like. I tracked it, it shows about 480.
Today- I have two dinners. I will def limit my intake and calories at the first one. 2nd dinner, it’s 13 course, small portions but I wouldn’t even know how to log that in. I am so close to cancelling but I feel bad my friend made reservations and already paid etc. Of course, there will be a lot of wine.
I don’t know how other professionals handle it. I have a lot of lunches and dinners- that’s what makes me stop every time. Struggle is real!
Just to reiterate what others have said... If your work requires you to eat out a lot, you have to start being honest about the amount of calories you are consuming in these meals and strategize ways to control your consumption. Limiting or eliminating alcohol would be a really easy first step, and I find it hard to believe in 2020 anyone would be frowned upon for not drinking at a business meal. Just because alcohol is available and bread is on the table doesn't mean you have to consume it.
The bad lunch you logged - I'd bet just the 3 margaritas came to 480 calories. There's no way multiple margaritas, two slices of pizza, and a lot of bread came to 480. Try to really focus on logging the food you do prepare yourself really accurately and consistently - use a food scale to weigh out your portions and check each entry you are choosing in the database for accuracy to the package or using google. Getting better at logging food you prepare makes it easier to eyeball portions and choose database entries for meals you eat away from home.
As for the 13 course meal, that sounds like a unique experience and I'd say just go and enjoy it. But starting tomorrow, decide how much you really want to work on your weight, and how much effort you are willing to put into it. Most restaurants have their menu available online. Making decisions of what and how much you can fit into your day ahead of time, planning the rest of the day to work around a business meal, and considering if you might benefit from an effort to get a bit more active to give you a little more wiggle room may help.4 -
I've struggled with this exact issue -- how to deal with ongoing professional commitments/events/socials/dinners/meetings with food etc. while trying to diet -- for decades. What a PITA. A lot of companies pride themselves on throwing great spreads, which means truly excessive foods and calories, non-stop, sometimes for days if it's a conference.
There is no easy solution, but here's what I came up with one day. I looked around and took careful note of what the thin and in shape / athletic people were eating (and not eating). Then I did what they did.
It was soooooo eye opening. Unbelievable! Here's what I found: in shape, athletic people order healthy food, eat a reasonable portion, have a drink, and ... stop. No seconds, no fattening desserts. Their main focus is on the social experience, not what they'll be shoveling into their mouths. So that's mainly what they do - talk and listen, not eat. It sounds stupid, but it never really occurred to me that there are people who go to, say, gigantic, delicious food buffets with their friends, take one plate of food, mainly the healthier stuff, eat it, and then they're done.
Admittedly, emulating this behavior has worked better some times more than others, and I remain what I've always been, a person who's either binging or one step from the precipice of a binge and holding myself back by sheer willpower, which sometimes craters in the moment. But I do manage to act like a thin person sometimes - will literally ask myself "What would an in-shape, athletic person eat right now?" and then I eat that.12 -
It's absolutely possible to have lunches and dinners out at restaurants with friends or for work - just make good choices. Once you've been making good choices and tracking accurately for long enough then eating healthy becomes a habit. You cannot give up though.
Nothing in life worth having comes easy so if you are on a journey to lose weight then it's going to take work. Shake this off and keep going.0 -
I've struggled with this exact issue -- how to deal with ongoing professional commitments/events/socials/dinners/meetings with food etc. while trying to diet -- for decades. What a PITA. A lot of companies pride themselves on throwing great spreads, which means truly excessive foods and calories, non-stop, sometimes for days if it's a conference.
There is no easy solution, but here's what I came up with one day. I looked around and took careful note of what the thin and in shape / athletic people were eating (and not eating). Then I did what they did.
It was soooooo eye opening. Unbelievable! Here's what I found: in shape, athletic people order healthy food, eat a reasonable portion, have a drink, and ... stop. No seconds, no fattening desserts. Their main focus is on the social experience, not what they'll be shoveling into their mouths. So that's mainly what they do - talk and listen, not eat. It sounds stupid, but it never really occurred to me that there are people who go to, say, gigantic, delicious food buffets with their friends, take one plate of food, mainly the healthier stuff, eat it, and then they're done.
Admittedly, emulating this behavior has worked better some times more than others, and I remain what I've always been, a person who's either binging or one step from the precipice of a binge and holding myself back by sheer willpower, which sometimes craters in the moment. But I do manage to act like a thin person sometimes - will literally ask myself "What would an in-shape, athletic person eat right now?" and then I eat that.
This is such a great point. I think especially for those of us who grew up in situations where restaurant meals were rare only on special occasions, your brain is wired to see a business function as "free food!" "fun food!" so an opportunity to go nuts and treat ourselves. Reprogramming your brain that this is now a regular part of my life and not a special occasion can be a tough transition.7 -
I've struggled with this exact issue -- how to deal with ongoing professional commitments/events/socials/dinners/meetings with food etc. while trying to diet -- for decades. What a PITA. A lot of companies pride themselves on throwing great spreads, which means truly excessive foods and calories, non-stop, sometimes for days if it's a conference.
There is no easy solution, but here's what I came up with one day. I looked around and took careful note of what the thin and in shape / athletic people were eating (and not eating). Then I did what they did.
It was soooooo eye opening. Unbelievable! Here's what I found: in shape, athletic people order healthy food, eat a reasonable portion, have a drink, and ... stop. No seconds, no fattening desserts. Their main focus is on the social experience, not what they'll be shoveling into their mouths. So that's mainly what they do - talk and listen, not eat. It sounds stupid, but it never really occurred to me that there are people who go to, say, gigantic, delicious food buffets with their friends, take one plate of food, mainly the healthier stuff, eat it, and then they're done.
Admittedly, emulating this behavior has worked better some times more than others, and I remain what I've always been, a person who's either binging or one step from the precipice of a binge and holding myself back by sheer willpower, which sometimes craters in the moment. But I do manage to act like a thin person sometimes - will literally ask myself "What would an in-shape, athletic person eat right now?" and then I eat that.
This is such a great point. I think especially for those of us who grew up in situations where restaurant meals were rare only on special occasions, your brain is wired to see a business function as "free food!" "fun food!" so an opportunity to go nuts and treat ourselves. Reprogramming your brain that this is now a regular part of my life and not a special occasion can be a tough transition.
You can't just lose weight. You have to lose the habits and the mindset of the person who gained it. If you don't you will either fail or regain.
One of the mistakes I made while gaining my weight was to make mundane things "special" with food. The problem, of course, is that if everything is special nothing is special and you are just eating too much for the sake of doing it.
To get where I need to go "special" has to be rare and keeping it that way will mean I will enjoy it more anyway. I do have to know when to let my foot off the gas because I still have to live life and I do not want to feel overly deprived. It is all about finding balance. It takes time to figure that out.14 -
I've struggled with this exact issue -- how to deal with ongoing professional commitments/events/socials/dinners/meetings with food etc. while trying to diet -- for decades. What a PITA. A lot of companies pride themselves on throwing great spreads, which means truly excessive foods and calories, non-stop, sometimes for days if it's a conference.
There is no easy solution, but here's what I came up with one day. I looked around and took careful note of what the thin and in shape / athletic people were eating (and not eating). Then I did what they did.
It was soooooo eye opening. Unbelievable! Here's what I found: in shape, athletic people order healthy food, eat a reasonable portion, have a drink, and ... stop. No seconds, no fattening desserts. Their main focus is on the social experience, not what they'll be shoveling into their mouths. So that's mainly what they do - talk and listen, not eat. It sounds stupid, but it never really occurred to me that there are people who go to, say, gigantic, delicious food buffets with their friends, take one plate of food, mainly the healthier stuff, eat it, and then they're done.
Admittedly, emulating this behavior has worked better some times more than others, and I remain what I've always been, a person who's either binging or one step from the precipice of a binge and holding myself back by sheer willpower, which sometimes craters in the moment. But I do manage to act like a thin person sometimes - will literally ask myself "What would an in-shape, athletic person eat right now?" and then I eat that.
This attitude has helped me considerably with family potlucks, although I do have dessert.
Actually, part of how I moderate the main meal and not have seconds is to tell myself I need to save room for dessert. And when my mother starts food-pushing, I tell her I'm saving room for peach cobbler, and she totally gets that. (These are awesome home made desserts that I really enjoy, not the boring store bought cookies I've over-eaten at corporate events in the past.)
But someone else could say they are saving room for dessert...and then not have dessert. Likely no one would notice.3 -
I've struggled with this exact issue -- how to deal with ongoing professional commitments/events/socials/dinners/meetings with food etc. while trying to diet -- for decades. What a PITA. A lot of companies pride themselves on throwing great spreads, which means truly excessive foods and calories, non-stop, sometimes for days if it's a conference.
There is no easy solution, but here's what I came up with one day. I looked around and took careful note of what the thin and in shape / athletic people were eating (and not eating). Then I did what they did.
It was soooooo eye opening. Unbelievable! Here's what I found: in shape, athletic people order healthy food, eat a reasonable portion, have a drink, and ... stop. No seconds, no fattening desserts. Their main focus is on the social experience, not what they'll be shoveling into their mouths. So that's mainly what they do - talk and listen, not eat. It sounds stupid, but it never really occurred to me that there are people who go to, say, gigantic, delicious food buffets with their friends, take one plate of food, mainly the healthier stuff, eat it, and then they're done.
Admittedly, emulating this behavior has worked better some times more than others, and I remain what I've always been, a person who's either binging or one step from the precipice of a binge and holding myself back by sheer willpower, which sometimes craters in the moment. But I do manage to act like a thin person sometimes - will literally ask myself "What would an in-shape, athletic person eat right now?" and then I eat that.
This is such a great point. I think especially for those of us who grew up in situations where restaurant meals were rare only on special occasions, your brain is wired to see a business function as "free food!" "fun food!" so an opportunity to go nuts and treat ourselves. Reprogramming your brain that this is now a regular part of my life and not a special occasion can be a tough transition.
You can't just lose weight. You have to lose the habits and the mindset of the person who gained it. If you don't you will either fail or regain.
One of the mistakes I made while gaining my weight was to make mundane things "special" with food. The problem, of course, is that if everything is special nothing is special and you are just eating too much for the sake of doing it.
To get where I need to go "special" has to be rare and keeping it that way will mean I will enjoy it more anyway. I do have to know when to let my foot off the gas because I still have to live life and I do not want to feel overly deprived. It is all about finding balance. It takes time to figure that out.
This is so true. Food alone does not make an event special. Food can be special, or the event itself can be special regardless of the food.
I also define "special" narrowly. For food to be special, it has to be something I want that I cannot get whenever I want it. Cookies from the grocery store are not special. I do not have to eat them right now because I can get them whenever. Cookies baked by my friend who bakes all the time might be special if I want to eat them. My mom's cookies that I only get once or twice a year are definitely special.4 -
For me to be successful at this, I had to come to terms with the fact that just as important as my "plan" to eat well and get my exercise, is my Plan B for when things go off the rails (as in: life happens). You can plan to track calories and hit your macros, and do all these good things to succeed, but what are you going to do when it isn't going according to plan?2
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I've struggled with this exact issue -- how to deal with ongoing professional commitments/events/socials/dinners/meetings with food etc. while trying to diet -- for decades. What a PITA. A lot of companies pride themselves on throwing great spreads, which means truly excessive foods and calories, non-stop, sometimes for days if it's a conference.
There is no easy solution, but here's what I came up with one day. I looked around and took careful note of what the thin and in shape / athletic people were eating (and not eating). Then I did what they did.
It was soooooo eye opening. Unbelievable! Here's what I found: in shape, athletic people order healthy food, eat a reasonable portion, have a drink, and ... stop. No seconds, no fattening desserts. Their main focus is on the social experience, not what they'll be shoveling into their mouths. So that's mainly what they do - talk and listen, not eat. It sounds stupid, but it never really occurred to me that there are people who go to, say, gigantic, delicious food buffets with their friends, take one plate of food, mainly the healthier stuff, eat it, and then they're done.
Admittedly, emulating this behavior has worked better some times more than others, and I remain what I've always been, a person who's either binging or one step from the precipice of a binge and holding myself back by sheer willpower, which sometimes craters in the moment. But I do manage to act like a thin person sometimes - will literally ask myself "What would an in-shape, athletic person eat right now?" and then I eat that.
This is such a great point. I think especially for those of us who grew up in situations where restaurant meals were rare only on special occasions, your brain is wired to see a business function as "free food!" "fun food!" so an opportunity to go nuts and treat ourselves. Reprogramming your brain that this is now a regular part of my life and not a special occasion can be a tough transition.
You can't just lose weight. You have to lose the habits and the mindset of the person who gained it. If you don't you will either fail or regain.
One of the mistakes I made while gaining my weight was to make mundane things "special" with food. The problem, of course, is that if everything is special nothing is special and you are just eating too much for the sake of doing it.
To get where I need to go "special" has to be rare and keeping it that way will mean I will enjoy it more anyway. I do have to know when to let my foot off the gas because I still have to live life and I do not want to feel overly deprived. It is all about finding balance. It takes time to figure that out.
This is so true. Food alone does not make an event special. Food can be special, or the event itself can be special regardless of the food.
I also define "special" narrowly. For food to be special, it has to be something I want that I cannot get whenever I want it. Cookies from the grocery store are not special. I do not have to eat them right now because I can get them whenever. Cookies baked by my friend who bakes all the time might be special if I want to eat them. My mom's cookies that I only get once or twice a year are definitely special.
Right. A 13 course tasting is not something I have ever done. I would consider that special. If I was doing that though I would be very resistant to having anything else special around it. It is kind of like having a coupon book with a number of things that can be exceptions. I don't have a book because I think I am at a point that being mindful means I know when something fits on the balance scale. I would naturally have a coupon for Christmas but it would be absurd to have one for Groundhog's day. Just like you have a coupon for mom's cookies but not one for store bought. For me a cookie from the store, if I wanted it, would have to fit into my normal system. I probably wouldn't even consider that worthy of using banked calories. For something like the tasting I would consider that using a coupon marked miscellaneous or wildcard.4 -
I've struggled with this exact issue -- how to deal with ongoing professional commitments/events/socials/dinners/meetings with food etc. while trying to diet -- for decades. What a PITA. A lot of companies pride themselves on throwing great spreads, which means truly excessive foods and calories, non-stop, sometimes for days if it's a conference.
There is no easy solution, but here's what I came up with one day. I looked around and took careful note of what the thin and in shape / athletic people were eating (and not eating). Then I did what they did.
It was soooooo eye opening. Unbelievable! Here's what I found: in shape, athletic people order healthy food, eat a reasonable portion, have a drink, and ... stop. No seconds, no fattening desserts. Their main focus is on the social experience, not what they'll be shoveling into their mouths. So that's mainly what they do - talk and listen, not eat. It sounds stupid, but it never really occurred to me that there are people who go to, say, gigantic, delicious food buffets with their friends, take one plate of food, mainly the healthier stuff, eat it, and then they're done.
Admittedly, emulating this behavior has worked better some times more than others, and I remain what I've always been, a person who's either binging or one step from the precipice of a binge and holding myself back by sheer willpower, which sometimes craters in the moment. But I do manage to act like a thin person sometimes - will literally ask myself "What would an in-shape, athletic person eat right now?" and then I eat that.
This is such a great point. I think especially for those of us who grew up in situations where restaurant meals were rare only on special occasions, your brain is wired to see a business function as "free food!" "fun food!" so an opportunity to go nuts and treat ourselves. Reprogramming your brain that this is now a regular part of my life and not a special occasion can be a tough transition.
You can't just lose weight. You have to lose the habits and the mindset of the person who gained it. If you don't you will either fail or regain.
One of the mistakes I made while gaining my weight was to make mundane things "special" with food. The problem, of course, is that if everything is special nothing is special and you are just eating too much for the sake of doing it.
To get where I need to go "special" has to be rare and keeping it that way will mean I will enjoy it more anyway. I do have to know when to let my foot off the gas because I still have to live life and I do not want to feel overly deprived. It is all about finding balance. It takes time to figure that out.
This is so true. Food alone does not make an event special. Food can be special, or the event itself can be special regardless of the food.
I also define "special" narrowly. For food to be special, it has to be something I want that I cannot get whenever I want it. Cookies from the grocery store are not special. I do not have to eat them right now because I can get them whenever. Cookies baked by my friend who bakes all the time might be special if I want to eat them. My mom's cookies that I only get once or twice a year are definitely special.
Right. A 13 course tasting is not something I have ever done. I would consider that special. If I was doing that though I would be very resistant to having anything else special around it. It is kind of like having a coupon book with a number of things that can be exceptions. I don't have a book because I think I am at a point that being mindful means I know when something fits on the balance scale. I would naturally have a coupon for Christmas but it would be absurd to have one for Groundhog's day. Just like you have a coupon for mom's cookies but not one for store bought. For me a cookie from the store, if I wanted it, would have to fit into my normal system. I probably wouldn't even consider that worthy of using banked calories. For something like the tasting I would consider that using a coupon marked miscellaneous or wildcard.
I’ve never done a 13 course tasting either. That in itself would be a special event. I would probably bank some calories for it, but not try to restrict myself during the meal because I literally never eat that way and might never eat that way again.1 -
I've struggled with this exact issue -- how to deal with ongoing professional commitments/events/socials/dinners/meetings with food etc. while trying to diet -- for decades. What a PITA. A lot of companies pride themselves on throwing great spreads, which means truly excessive foods and calories, non-stop, sometimes for days if it's a conference.
There is no easy solution, but here's what I came up with one day. I looked around and took careful note of what the thin and in shape / athletic people were eating (and not eating). Then I did what they did.
It was soooooo eye opening. Unbelievable! Here's what I found: in shape, athletic people order healthy food, eat a reasonable portion, have a drink, and ... stop. No seconds, no fattening desserts. Their main focus is on the social experience, not what they'll be shoveling into their mouths. So that's mainly what they do - talk and listen, not eat. It sounds stupid, but it never really occurred to me that there are people who go to, say, gigantic, delicious food buffets with their friends, take one plate of food, mainly the healthier stuff, eat it, and then they're done.
Admittedly, emulating this behavior has worked better some times more than others, and I remain what I've always been, a person who's either binging or one step from the precipice of a binge and holding myself back by sheer willpower, which sometimes craters in the moment. But I do manage to act like a thin person sometimes - will literally ask myself "What would an in-shape, athletic person eat right now?" and then I eat that.
This is such a great point. I think especially for those of us who grew up in situations where restaurant meals were rare only on special occasions, your brain is wired to see a business function as "free food!" "fun food!" so an opportunity to go nuts and treat ourselves. Reprogramming your brain that this is now a regular part of my life and not a special occasion can be a tough transition.
You can't just lose weight. You have to lose the habits and the mindset of the person who gained it. If you don't you will either fail or regain.
One of the mistakes I made while gaining my weight was to make mundane things "special" with food. The problem, of course, is that if everything is special nothing is special and you are just eating too much for the sake of doing it.
To get where I need to go "special" has to be rare and keeping it that way will mean I will enjoy it more anyway. I do have to know when to let my foot off the gas because I still have to live life and I do not want to feel overly deprived. It is all about finding balance. It takes time to figure that out.
This is so true. Food alone does not make an event special. Food can be special, or the event itself can be special regardless of the food.
I also define "special" narrowly. For food to be special, it has to be something I want that I cannot get whenever I want it. Cookies from the grocery store are not special. I do not have to eat them right now because I can get them whenever. Cookies baked by my friend who bakes all the time might be special if I want to eat them. My mom's cookies that I only get once or twice a year are definitely special.
Right. A 13 course tasting is not something I have ever done. I would consider that special. If I was doing that though I would be very resistant to having anything else special around it. It is kind of like having a coupon book with a number of things that can be exceptions. I don't have a book because I think I am at a point that being mindful means I know when something fits on the balance scale. I would naturally have a coupon for Christmas but it would be absurd to have one for Groundhog's day. Just like you have a coupon for mom's cookies but not one for store bought. For me a cookie from the store, if I wanted it, would have to fit into my normal system. I probably wouldn't even consider that worthy of using banked calories. For something like the tasting I would consider that using a coupon marked miscellaneous or wildcard.
I did a 12 course Japanese Tasting Menu at a new Mitchelin star place in town and worked in a couple of high end restaurants that do these too, to be honest they are usually very rich but very tiny dishes, chances are the meal itself isn't going to make any drastic difference to calories vs a normal restaurant meal or a slightly higher calorie meal at home, it's the wine pairings that are likely to tip the calories over (in my case it was the Sake).
I don't think in the OPs case the 13 course meal is the issue, it's the other dining out with drinks the rest of the time.9 -
I want to thank you all for the reality check. I am very grateful for the honesty.
There’s truly nothing I can say defend my actions. A lot to take in and put into action.13 -
100togo2020 wrote: »I want to thank you all for the reality check. I am very grateful for the honesty.
There’s truly nothing I can say defend my actions. A lot to take in and put into action.
You don't have to defend anything, just keep an open mind and keep learning
That's all any of us can do. 10 -
Nothing to defend. But I'll dogpile on you needing to step back a moment and reality check.
I was checking out the Brown's social house menu the other day. Nothing *as served by default without modifications* was less than 1k Cal. Before drinks. Without a basket of bread. For any main dish. Even the starters were there/almost there.
My two spaghetti factory dinners in January (starter salad no dressing for one, starter soup for the other, one entre with pasta and chorizo tomato sauce, one with pasta and beyond meat Bolognese, one scoup of spumoni ice cream, mini loaf sourdough bread and butter, zero drinks) logged in as just over and just under 2500. The mini loaf is almost 800 with the butter. Mini is relative.
Actually the fish and chip place (two pieces lightly battered pink salmon @ 209g, chips @ 193, coleslaw dry without dressing (not logged), side bun (62g), 10g butter, 64g ketchup, with scale at the table, no drinks) at 1300 Cal was cheaper
Your restaurant meal estimations are OFF.
You *can* eat and drink everything and anything and meet your goals.
You *cannot* eat and drink everything and anything at *ANY* quantity and *ALL the time* and meet your goals.
There are only so many calories in a budget that can go towards less nutritional / optional extras.
Take care.8 -
100togo2020 wrote: »I want to thank you all for the reality check. I am very grateful for the honesty.
There’s truly nothing I can say defend my actions. A lot to take in and put into action.
I can only speak for myself but I place zero judgement on you. I only want to help. I made loads of mistakes early on. I still make them now. If perfection were required to lose weight I am not sure anyone would get it done.
The trick is not to get down on yourself. Remain as objective as you can and learn from it. Every lesson learned from a few too many calories is a cheap lesson if it ultimately helps gets you to a goal and maintain it for years to come.6 -
Adding to @PAV8888's point... you will eventually get a feel for logging certain types of food from restaurants. In the meantime you should throw out a caution flag for a restaurant lunch that is under 800 calories for something from the normal portion of the menu. That is just the entree. There will be plenty of cases where it naturally falls lower and many more where it will be MUCH higher. The caution flag is just for you to go back over it again and do some more research to be sure you have it right. My flags are more specific based on the menu but I still do this. If I am expecting 1300 calories and it is 1100 or less or 1500 or more I dig back into it and try to verify it another way.2
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100togo2020 wrote: »I want to thank you all for the reality check. I am very grateful for the honesty.
There’s truly nothing I can say defend my actions. A lot to take in and put into action.
I'm going to chime in with the others. There's nothing to defend. You don't owe anyone anything here.
I sometimes travel for work, and tbh on those trips I usually throw my budget completely away and eat as I please. I've had some pretty great meals. But I have to work extra hard when I get back to normal!2 -
Well, got on the scale this morning... I’ve gained FOUR lbs. LOVELY! All the progress I was making, goneeee.
Thank you all again. It’s time to regroup and start all over again.6
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