Bad day yesterday & 2 dinners planned today

I was doing so good until yesterday... I had a bad lunch. I tried logging the whole thing but let’s just say, 3 margaritas, 2 slices pizza, plus bread bread bread. I was over 1,000 calories feels like. I tracked it, it shows about 480.
Today- I have two dinners. I will def limit my intake and calories at the first one. 2nd dinner, it’s 13 course, small portions but I wouldn’t even know how to log that in. I am so close to cancelling but I feel bad my friend made reservations and already paid etc. Of course, there will be a lot of wine.

I don’t know how other professionals handle it. I have a lot of lunches and dinners- that’s what makes me stop every time. Struggle is real!
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Replies

  • fdlewenstein
    fdlewenstein Posts: 231 Member
    Consistency is the key. Take your "bad" lunch for what it was. Do the best you can and get back on track. Adjust if you feel it is necessary for your mental health, otherwise make plans to start back on track. Beating yourself up and feeling guilty does not help you in the long run.

    Keep looking at the bug picture and move on. (By the way... all of the advice about planning ahead, doing something physical, and making weight loss work around your life I would 100% agree with.)
  • ChickenKillerPuppy
    ChickenKillerPuppy Posts: 297 Member
    I know it's hard but I would try to enjoy the dinner without needless indulgences (seconds and thirds, maybe limit the wine to a couple glasses but cut it off after that.) I also have to fit a lot of work stuff in, including a lot of travel, that make it hard, but I have still managed to lose weight pretty much every week due to a lot of planning and attempts to make good choices when I do go out. Other ways to deal:

    Compensate for high days with low days. If I know I'm going out to dinner I will try to deliberately have fairly low calorie days the couple days leading up and the couple days after for balance. I have suggested to people that we meet for coffee instead of lunch and that helps a lot. I also try to pick restaurants where I know the menu and I know there will be an option for me that is not too high calorie. I also try to make sure to get extra exercise in the days I am going out for dinner or drinks to make sure I have some extra room with my calorie intake.

    As the person above said, this plan has to work around your life, not the other way around. That may mean that you lose weight more slowly and that's OK too.
  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
    NovusDies wrote: »
    Jruzer wrote: »
    3 margaritas, 2 slices pizza, plus bread bread bread. I was over 1,000 calories feels like. I tracked it, it shows about 480.

    Not to pile on, but this sounds much closer to 1000 calories than to 480.

    My internal calorie logger puts it over 1600 depending on how many servings 'bread bread bread' means.

    OP if you came up with 480 you probably need to work a little harder at logging. You can't just choose the cheapest calorie entries in the database and expect that to work.

    I would expect one margarita to have at least 225 calories (assuming two ounces of tequila and one ounce of triple sec/Contreau). And that's one I'd make myself. A restaurant version could easily have more due to size or additional ingredients. So I would be logging 675 for the drinks alone.
  • kimny72
    kimny72 Posts: 16,011 Member
    edited January 2020
    I was doing so good until yesterday... I had a bad lunch. I tried logging the whole thing but let’s just say, 3 margaritas, 2 slices pizza, plus bread bread bread. I was over 1,000 calories feels like. I tracked it, it shows about 480.
    Today- I have two dinners. I will def limit my intake and calories at the first one. 2nd dinner, it’s 13 course, small portions but I wouldn’t even know how to log that in. I am so close to cancelling but I feel bad my friend made reservations and already paid etc. Of course, there will be a lot of wine.

    I don’t know how other professionals handle it. I have a lot of lunches and dinners- that’s what makes me stop every time. Struggle is real!

    Just to reiterate what others have said... If your work requires you to eat out a lot, you have to start being honest about the amount of calories you are consuming in these meals and strategize ways to control your consumption. Limiting or eliminating alcohol would be a really easy first step, and I find it hard to believe in 2020 anyone would be frowned upon for not drinking at a business meal. Just because alcohol is available and bread is on the table doesn't mean you have to consume it.

    The bad lunch you logged - I'd bet just the 3 margaritas came to 480 calories. There's no way multiple margaritas, two slices of pizza, and a lot of bread came to 480. Try to really focus on logging the food you do prepare yourself really accurately and consistently - use a food scale to weigh out your portions and check each entry you are choosing in the database for accuracy to the package or using google. Getting better at logging food you prepare makes it easier to eyeball portions and choose database entries for meals you eat away from home.

    As for the 13 course meal, that sounds like a unique experience and I'd say just go and enjoy it. But starting tomorrow, decide how much you really want to work on your weight, and how much effort you are willing to put into it. Most restaurants have their menu available online. Making decisions of what and how much you can fit into your day ahead of time, planning the rest of the day to work around a business meal, and considering if you might benefit from an effort to get a bit more active to give you a little more wiggle room may help.
  • NicbPNW
    NicbPNW Posts: 47 Member
    edited January 2020
    It's absolutely possible to have lunches and dinners out at restaurants with friends or for work - just make good choices. Once you've been making good choices and tracking accurately for long enough then eating healthy becomes a habit. You cannot give up though.

    Nothing in life worth having comes easy so if you are on a journey to lose weight then it's going to take work. Shake this off and keep going.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    edited January 2020
    lgfrie wrote: »
    I've struggled with this exact issue -- how to deal with ongoing professional commitments/events/socials/dinners/meetings with food etc. while trying to diet -- for decades. What a PITA. A lot of companies pride themselves on throwing great spreads, which means truly excessive foods and calories, non-stop, sometimes for days if it's a conference.

    There is no easy solution, but here's what I came up with one day. I looked around and took careful note of what the thin and in shape / athletic people were eating (and not eating). Then I did what they did.

    It was soooooo eye opening. Unbelievable! Here's what I found: in shape, athletic people order healthy food, eat a reasonable portion, have a drink, and ... stop. No seconds, no fattening desserts. Their main focus is on the social experience, not what they'll be shoveling into their mouths. So that's mainly what they do - talk and listen, not eat. It sounds stupid, but it never really occurred to me that there are people who go to, say, gigantic, delicious food buffets with their friends, take one plate of food, mainly the healthier stuff, eat it, and then they're done.

    Admittedly, emulating this behavior has worked better some times more than others, and I remain what I've always been, a person who's either binging or one step from the precipice of a binge and holding myself back by sheer willpower, which sometimes craters in the moment. But I do manage to act like a thin person sometimes - will literally ask myself "What would an in-shape, athletic person eat right now?" and then I eat that.

    This attitude has helped me considerably with family potlucks, although I do have dessert.

    Actually, part of how I moderate the main meal and not have seconds is to tell myself I need to save room for dessert. And when my mother starts food-pushing, I tell her I'm saving room for peach cobbler, and she totally gets that. (These are awesome home made desserts that I really enjoy, not the boring store bought cookies I've over-eaten at corporate events in the past.)

    But someone else could say they are saving room for dessert...and then not have dessert. Likely no one would notice.
  • apullum
    apullum Posts: 4,838 Member
    NovusDies wrote: »
    kimny72 wrote: »
    lgfrie wrote: »
    I've struggled with this exact issue -- how to deal with ongoing professional commitments/events/socials/dinners/meetings with food etc. while trying to diet -- for decades. What a PITA. A lot of companies pride themselves on throwing great spreads, which means truly excessive foods and calories, non-stop, sometimes for days if it's a conference.

    There is no easy solution, but here's what I came up with one day. I looked around and took careful note of what the thin and in shape / athletic people were eating (and not eating). Then I did what they did.

    It was soooooo eye opening. Unbelievable! Here's what I found: in shape, athletic people order healthy food, eat a reasonable portion, have a drink, and ... stop. No seconds, no fattening desserts. Their main focus is on the social experience, not what they'll be shoveling into their mouths. So that's mainly what they do - talk and listen, not eat. It sounds stupid, but it never really occurred to me that there are people who go to, say, gigantic, delicious food buffets with their friends, take one plate of food, mainly the healthier stuff, eat it, and then they're done.

    Admittedly, emulating this behavior has worked better some times more than others, and I remain what I've always been, a person who's either binging or one step from the precipice of a binge and holding myself back by sheer willpower, which sometimes craters in the moment. But I do manage to act like a thin person sometimes - will literally ask myself "What would an in-shape, athletic person eat right now?" and then I eat that.

    This is such a great point. I think especially for those of us who grew up in situations where restaurant meals were rare only on special occasions, your brain is wired to see a business function as "free food!" "fun food!" so an opportunity to go nuts and treat ourselves. Reprogramming your brain that this is now a regular part of my life and not a special occasion can be a tough transition.

    You can't just lose weight. You have to lose the habits and the mindset of the person who gained it. If you don't you will either fail or regain.

    One of the mistakes I made while gaining my weight was to make mundane things "special" with food. The problem, of course, is that if everything is special nothing is special and you are just eating too much for the sake of doing it.

    To get where I need to go "special" has to be rare and keeping it that way will mean I will enjoy it more anyway. I do have to know when to let my foot off the gas because I still have to live life and I do not want to feel overly deprived. It is all about finding balance. It takes time to figure that out.

    This is so true. Food alone does not make an event special. Food can be special, or the event itself can be special regardless of the food.

    I also define "special" narrowly. For food to be special, it has to be something I want that I cannot get whenever I want it. Cookies from the grocery store are not special. I do not have to eat them right now because I can get them whenever. Cookies baked by my friend who bakes all the time might be special if I want to eat them. My mom's cookies that I only get once or twice a year are definitely special.
  • girlwithcurls2
    girlwithcurls2 Posts: 2,281 Member
    For me to be successful at this, I had to come to terms with the fact that just as important as my "plan" to eat well and get my exercise, is my Plan B for when things go off the rails (as in: life happens). You can plan to track calories and hit your macros, and do all these good things to succeed, but what are you going to do when it isn't going according to plan?
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    edited January 2020
    apullum wrote: »
    NovusDies wrote: »
    kimny72 wrote: »
    lgfrie wrote: »
    I've struggled with this exact issue -- how to deal with ongoing professional commitments/events/socials/dinners/meetings with food etc. while trying to diet -- for decades. What a PITA. A lot of companies pride themselves on throwing great spreads, which means truly excessive foods and calories, non-stop, sometimes for days if it's a conference.

    There is no easy solution, but here's what I came up with one day. I looked around and took careful note of what the thin and in shape / athletic people were eating (and not eating). Then I did what they did.

    It was soooooo eye opening. Unbelievable! Here's what I found: in shape, athletic people order healthy food, eat a reasonable portion, have a drink, and ... stop. No seconds, no fattening desserts. Their main focus is on the social experience, not what they'll be shoveling into their mouths. So that's mainly what they do - talk and listen, not eat. It sounds stupid, but it never really occurred to me that there are people who go to, say, gigantic, delicious food buffets with their friends, take one plate of food, mainly the healthier stuff, eat it, and then they're done.

    Admittedly, emulating this behavior has worked better some times more than others, and I remain what I've always been, a person who's either binging or one step from the precipice of a binge and holding myself back by sheer willpower, which sometimes craters in the moment. But I do manage to act like a thin person sometimes - will literally ask myself "What would an in-shape, athletic person eat right now?" and then I eat that.

    This is such a great point. I think especially for those of us who grew up in situations where restaurant meals were rare only on special occasions, your brain is wired to see a business function as "free food!" "fun food!" so an opportunity to go nuts and treat ourselves. Reprogramming your brain that this is now a regular part of my life and not a special occasion can be a tough transition.

    You can't just lose weight. You have to lose the habits and the mindset of the person who gained it. If you don't you will either fail or regain.

    One of the mistakes I made while gaining my weight was to make mundane things "special" with food. The problem, of course, is that if everything is special nothing is special and you are just eating too much for the sake of doing it.

    To get where I need to go "special" has to be rare and keeping it that way will mean I will enjoy it more anyway. I do have to know when to let my foot off the gas because I still have to live life and I do not want to feel overly deprived. It is all about finding balance. It takes time to figure that out.

    This is so true. Food alone does not make an event special. Food can be special, or the event itself can be special regardless of the food.

    I also define "special" narrowly. For food to be special, it has to be something I want that I cannot get whenever I want it. Cookies from the grocery store are not special. I do not have to eat them right now because I can get them whenever. Cookies baked by my friend who bakes all the time might be special if I want to eat them. My mom's cookies that I only get once or twice a year are definitely special.

    Right. A 13 course tasting is not something I have ever done. I would consider that special. If I was doing that though I would be very resistant to having anything else special around it. It is kind of like having a coupon book with a number of things that can be exceptions. I don't have a book because I think I am at a point that being mindful means I know when something fits on the balance scale. I would naturally have a coupon for Christmas but it would be absurd to have one for Groundhog's day. Just like you have a coupon for mom's cookies but not one for store bought. For me a cookie from the store, if I wanted it, would have to fit into my normal system. I probably wouldn't even consider that worthy of using banked calories. For something like the tasting I would consider that using a coupon marked miscellaneous or wildcard.
  • apullum
    apullum Posts: 4,838 Member
    NovusDies wrote: »
    apullum wrote: »
    NovusDies wrote: »
    kimny72 wrote: »
    lgfrie wrote: »
    I've struggled with this exact issue -- how to deal with ongoing professional commitments/events/socials/dinners/meetings with food etc. while trying to diet -- for decades. What a PITA. A lot of companies pride themselves on throwing great spreads, which means truly excessive foods and calories, non-stop, sometimes for days if it's a conference.

    There is no easy solution, but here's what I came up with one day. I looked around and took careful note of what the thin and in shape / athletic people were eating (and not eating). Then I did what they did.

    It was soooooo eye opening. Unbelievable! Here's what I found: in shape, athletic people order healthy food, eat a reasonable portion, have a drink, and ... stop. No seconds, no fattening desserts. Their main focus is on the social experience, not what they'll be shoveling into their mouths. So that's mainly what they do - talk and listen, not eat. It sounds stupid, but it never really occurred to me that there are people who go to, say, gigantic, delicious food buffets with their friends, take one plate of food, mainly the healthier stuff, eat it, and then they're done.

    Admittedly, emulating this behavior has worked better some times more than others, and I remain what I've always been, a person who's either binging or one step from the precipice of a binge and holding myself back by sheer willpower, which sometimes craters in the moment. But I do manage to act like a thin person sometimes - will literally ask myself "What would an in-shape, athletic person eat right now?" and then I eat that.

    This is such a great point. I think especially for those of us who grew up in situations where restaurant meals were rare only on special occasions, your brain is wired to see a business function as "free food!" "fun food!" so an opportunity to go nuts and treat ourselves. Reprogramming your brain that this is now a regular part of my life and not a special occasion can be a tough transition.

    You can't just lose weight. You have to lose the habits and the mindset of the person who gained it. If you don't you will either fail or regain.

    One of the mistakes I made while gaining my weight was to make mundane things "special" with food. The problem, of course, is that if everything is special nothing is special and you are just eating too much for the sake of doing it.

    To get where I need to go "special" has to be rare and keeping it that way will mean I will enjoy it more anyway. I do have to know when to let my foot off the gas because I still have to live life and I do not want to feel overly deprived. It is all about finding balance. It takes time to figure that out.

    This is so true. Food alone does not make an event special. Food can be special, or the event itself can be special regardless of the food.

    I also define "special" narrowly. For food to be special, it has to be something I want that I cannot get whenever I want it. Cookies from the grocery store are not special. I do not have to eat them right now because I can get them whenever. Cookies baked by my friend who bakes all the time might be special if I want to eat them. My mom's cookies that I only get once or twice a year are definitely special.

    Right. A 13 course tasting is not something I have ever done. I would consider that special. If I was doing that though I would be very resistant to having anything else special around it. It is kind of like having a coupon book with a number of things that can be exceptions. I don't have a book because I think I am at a point that being mindful means I know when something fits on the balance scale. I would naturally have a coupon for Christmas but it would be absurd to have one for Groundhog's day. Just like you have a coupon for mom's cookies but not one for store bought. For me a cookie from the store, if I wanted it, would have to fit into my normal system. I probably wouldn't even consider that worthy of using banked calories. For something like the tasting I would consider that using a coupon marked miscellaneous or wildcard.

    I’ve never done a 13 course tasting either. That in itself would be a special event. I would probably bank some calories for it, but not try to restrict myself during the meal because I literally never eat that way and might never eat that way again.
  • NovusDies
    NovusDies Posts: 8,940 Member
    Adding to @PAV8888's point... you will eventually get a feel for logging certain types of food from restaurants. In the meantime you should throw out a caution flag for a restaurant lunch that is under 800 calories for something from the normal portion of the menu. That is just the entree. There will be plenty of cases where it naturally falls lower and many more where it will be MUCH higher. The caution flag is just for you to go back over it again and do some more research to be sure you have it right. My flags are more specific based on the menu but I still do this. If I am expecting 1300 calories and it is 1100 or less or 1500 or more I dig back into it and try to verify it another way.
  • Jruzer
    Jruzer Posts: 3,501 Member
    I want to thank you all for the reality check. I am very grateful for the honesty.
    There’s truly nothing I can say defend my actions. A lot to take in and put into action.

    I'm going to chime in with the others. There's nothing to defend. You don't owe anyone anything here.

    I sometimes travel for work, and tbh on those trips I usually throw my budget completely away and eat as I please. I've had some pretty great meals. But I have to work extra hard when I get back to normal!