OT - The Aspergers spectrum.

I understand your concern with meds, they are overprescribed and often times not followed up very well. But they DO SAVE LIVES. If you are feeling at the end of your rope, you might want to at least discuss the different med options with your doctor. It sounds like you have several co-morbid issues, and nobody should handle all of that alone! You don't have to love therapy to benefit from it.

I know some aspies, but it sounds like you more likely have a mix of generalized anxiety disorder, depression and OCD. I think you would greatly benefit from speaking to a doctor/therapist. You are not crazy, you just need someone professional to discuss this with. Good luck, and take care of yourself!

Funny you say that, because I have depression and, although I haven't been diagnosed with GAD, I suffer from a thing called depersonalisation and derealisation, and they are said to be caused by GAD, though they can be a disorder in themselves. Not very talked about though, but there's lots of info online.

As for OCD, it's funny thinking of myself as having that. I'd have never have thought so, because I guess I generalised OCD sufferers as being the 'washing hands' 'checking lights' type, but really, there's lots of different 'types' of OCD tendencies, right?

Thank you. I honestly feel stuck though. I can't seem to emotionally handle therapists but I don't want to take meds. But I don't know how much longer I can cope alone. Every day is a struggle.

I grew up with a boy with aspergers, he was the smartest person I have ever met. He was really interested in other cultures and graduated college with honors (magna cum laude) for Islamic studies. It might be weird sometimes because of the social situation stuff, but generally people with aspergers are more intelligent.

I am no "expert", but like some have posted, you need to find a professional who deals with Autism Spectrum Disorders. I used to be a one/one teachers aide for a girl with Aspberger's. Many of your symptoms are exactly what this girl had. When she was given a project to do, she would research it and research it some more. She could recite every president of the US,and in order, and God forbid someone else in her class should give wrong answers. She could tell you anything about President Lincoln. She also could tell you anything about dinosaurs. She was amazingly intelligent. It would make me so angry to hear others comment that she was just spoiled or trying to get attention. Someone else posted here previously that Spectrum Disorders aren't "real diseases". Autism and the Spectrum Disorders are NOT diseases-they're DiSORDERS!!!
I just saw the girl's mother a while back,and she's in college studying criminal justice and doing very well. I wish you well in whatever you may do. Just don't listen to the negative ones who have no clue what it's like to be in your shoes. BTW, if you haven't already, any books written by Temple Grandin (sp?) Are great reads. She's a woman with Aspergers and has written some very interesting books. She's also a very successful businesswoman.
Again, good luck in whatever you do and NEVER give up!!!