Ever felt lonely while in a relationship?
justanotherguy2020
Posts: 223 Member
Tell your story...
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Replies
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🤔 tell yours first5
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Ya it sucks! Get out, run fast!!!5
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Yeah and they suck0
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I think this is more common than expected4
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If a partner makes you feel lonely, talk with them. Either it will help or it won't and you'll have your answer all the same. They either don't know their doing it or they are being distant because they are pretty much emotionally done with the relationship but perhaps doesn't know how to leave, doesn't want to be the bad person by leaving, or they are too comfortable with you and even though they don't have strong feelings anymore it's easy being with you.4
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Yes, that’s why you should take a secret lover.9
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TwitchyMacGee wrote: »Yes, that’s why you should take a secret lover.
Good Morning !1 -
Motorsheen wrote: »TwitchyMacGee wrote: »Yes, that’s why you should take a secret lover.
Good Morning !
Shhhh. I said secret1 -
TwitchyMacGee wrote: »Yes, that’s why you should take a secret lover.
Doesn't really fix the problem though. Might as well leave the relationship and then find someone new.5 -
MissLea0424 wrote: »TwitchyMacGee wrote: »Yes, that’s why you should take a secret lover.
Doesn't really fix the problem though. Might as well leave the relationship and then find someone new.
I was joking but now I’ll answer honestly
It’s a mistake to think one person will satisfy all your needs. Secrecy and lying are bad but relationships of various kinds and being part of a meaningful community is healthy.
ETA: loneliness comes. It’s not because there’s a fault with the person, but it’s part of the human condition and perhaps part of the structure of the relationship. Thinking you can fix it by finding someone new... well, sometimes that works. Often it works while the novelty lasts5 -
Sort of. In my first marriage, I liked my husband fine but we just didn't connect deeply or have much attraction. We lived pretty separate lives and I felt marriage was similar to being single but with less financial worry and more approval from society.
Second marriage is totally & completely different (a million times better) and now I see what a happy, super-close and romantic relationship can be like.
It may make a bit of difference that I have always been pretty independent and not one to feel "lonely", I like my alone time. But when I compare the two marriages it is mindblowing to me, looking back...4 -
MissLea0424 wrote: »If a partner makes you feel lonely, talk with them. Either it will help or it won't and you'll have your answer all the same. They either don't know their doing it or they are being distant because they are pretty much emotionally done with the relationship but perhaps doesn't know how to leave, doesn't want to be the bad person by leaving, or they are too comfortable with you and even though they don't have strong feelings anymore it's easy being with you.
Agree☝️☝️☝️
Talk about it...sometimes the distance is about the relationship sometimes it could be something they are going through.1 -
TwitchyMacGee wrote: »MissLea0424 wrote: »TwitchyMacGee wrote: »Yes, that’s why you should take a secret lover.
Doesn't really fix the problem though. Might as well leave the relationship and then find someone new.
I was joking but now I’ll answer honestly
It’s a mistake to think one person will satisfy all your needs. Secrecy and lying are bad but relationships of various kinds and being part of a meaningful community is healthy.
Well not everyone is perfect lol. That's the beauty of life.1 -
Yes 🤷🏻♀️Part of life isn’t it?
Life is what you make it, it’s upto you to make those changes so you don't feel lonely 👍3 -
fastb20vtec wrote: »Ya it sucks! Get out, run fast!!!fastb20vtec wrote: »Ya it sucks! Get out, run fast!!!fastb20vtec wrote: »Ya it sucks! Get out, run fast!!!
Heck yeah! LEAVE NOW!!! Nothing worse than thinking a marriage can work only to have the other person say one thing to u and when thing to another!!!
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fastb20vtec wrote: »Ya it sucks! Get out, run fast!!!
Run away!! Wasting someone’s precious time seems to be on the up and up today!!!
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Behindblue_eyes wrote: »MissLea0424 wrote: »If a partner makes you feel lonely, talk with them. Either it will help or it won't and you'll have your answer all the same. They either don't know their doing it or they are being distant because they are pretty much emotionally done with the relationship but perhaps doesn't know how to leave, doesn't want to be the bad person by leaving, or they are too comfortable with you and even though they don't have strong feelings anymore it's easy being with you.
I agree with this for the most part. The issue I have is the statement - "makes you feel lonely." No one can "make you feel anything." Other people may influence how you feel, but you are the only one in charge of your emotions.
I disagree a little. Emotions are emotions. You can’t make yourself not feel something. But you do have total control over how you respond to those emotions. For example, say someone very close to you passed away and you were very sad. Imagine someone telling you to get over it because you can control those emotions... doesn’t work that way! But you can control how you respond to the sadness.
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It happens - with long term relationships it can come and go.1
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My significant other generally feels this way while I'm farting around on this forum2
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Hmm... yes. I think that to some degree, it's normal and expected. You will not always see eye-to-eye or get along. You may grow apart or want different things after years together. If you can communicate, you can usually (not always) get through it and work a compromise or at least communicate things that need to be worked on.
The problem is when you can't communicate because the person is too sensitive, too overbearing or otherwise hindered by their own reactions to things.
I've been married for aaaaaaaalmost 14 years this year and there is both an emotional and physical loneliness that occurs from time to time. Physical because my spouse deploys pretty regularly, so I'm left solo-parenting for 6 months out of the year, or a few weeks here and there. Emotional/mental because while we love one another, he and I are two very different people both in personality and backgrounds.
I think the issue for loneliness is if the loneliness vastly overtakes the good times. If you constantly feel alone, neglected, dismissed or manipulated, that's a giant red flag and you should address your concerns (if possible) and set boundaries. If things don't improve, leave. No one deserves through that kind of loneliness and heartache.8 -
KosmosKitten wrote: »Hmm... yes. I think that to some degree, it's normal and expected. You will not always see eye-to-eye or get along. You may grow apart or want different things after years together. If you can communicate, you can usually (not always) get through it and work a compromise or at least communicate things that need to be worked on.
The problem is when you can't communicate because the person is too sensitive, too overbearing or otherwise hindered by their own reactions to things.
I've been married for aaaaaaaalmost 14 years this year and there is both an emotional and physical loneliness that occurs from time to time. Physical because my spouse deploys pretty regularly, so I'm left solo-parenting for 6 months out of the year, or a few weeks here and there. Emotional/mental because while we love one another, he and I are two very different people both in personality and backgrounds.
I think the issue for loneliness is if the loneliness vastly overtakes the good times. If you constantly feel alone, neglected, dismissed or manipulated, that's a giant red flag and you should address your concerns (if possible) and set boundaries. If things don't improve, leave. No one deserves through that kind of loneliness and heartache.
Best response so far. I totally resonate with it1 -
I felt more alone when I was married and in an abusive relationship than I do now that I am actually single, but surrounded by friends and family who really care about me11
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Yes. I was in a relationship with a narcissist for 4 years. I definitely felt lonely, trapped, unloved, all the bad things.
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I thought that how everyone feels..LOL
*shrugs*5 -
kimber0607 wrote: »I thought that how everyone feels..LOL
*shrugs*
We aren’t supposed to. At least that’s what I thought
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I always end up feeling like this.
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I think I am guilty of craving too much attention sometimes.1
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Yes. And as the years go by I feel it more and more. I've never been one to want much attention and I don't like clinginess but that has slowly changed within the past year or so and its something that I want now but from the right person/s.7
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