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Being a wife and mother

KirstinJo22KirstinJo22 Member Posts: 6 Member Member Posts: 6 Member
What's on my mind? The fact that my husband said hes not attracted to me. I feel broken. I was pretty confident before getting married and having a baby but since then everything has been down hill and hearing that last night just ripped me in 2
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  • TwitchyMacGeeTwitchyMacGee Member Posts: 3,122 Member Member Posts: 3,122 Member
    What's on my mind? The fact that my husband said hes not attracted to me. I feel broken. I was pretty confident before getting married and having a baby but since then everything has been down hill and hearing that last night just ripped me in 2
    I am so sorry.
  • MotorsheenMotorsheen Member Posts: 17,189 Member Member Posts: 17,189 Member
    What's on my mind? The fact that my husband said hes not attracted to me. I feel broken. I was pretty confident before getting married and having a baby but since then everything has been down hill and hearing that last night just ripped me in 2
    I am so sorry.

    same here.

    hang in there.

    this too shall pass.
  • tinkerhellraisertinkerhellraiser Member Posts: 5,562 Member Member Posts: 5,562 Member
    What's on my mind? The fact that my husband said hes not attracted to me. I feel broken. I was pretty confident before getting married and having a baby but since then everything has been down hill and hearing that last night just ripped me in 2

    i’m sorry 💔 i hope u can find your way back to the confidence you used to have ♥️
  • lifeovpilifeovpi Member Posts: 121 Member Member Posts: 121 Member
    I would find a way to leave that relationship. He sounds like a real douche bag. So you were ok enough to marry and get pregnant. So he waits until after you've had a kid with him before breaking the news he doesn't find you attractive? That's real nice of him. What a way to make someone feel good about themselves. That is really savage in my opinion. If I had a child with my partner, went through all the changes that it does to a woman's body and then he said 'dont find you attractive anymore' I would be out that door quicker than you can say divorce papers.

  • vanityy99vanityy99 Member Posts: 1,639 Member Member Posts: 1,639 Member
    That’s brutal. I was watching a talk show, and they were saying that if there’s something bothering you in your marriage, it’s always best to be honest and talk to your partner about it. Like if you notice your eyes start wondering, tell your spouse because that could be an indication that something maybe wrong and the next step might be cheating- at least when youre honest right there and then you can fix it right away before it gets worse... or you have the option to leave. Or something along those lines.

    Your husband could’ve went about it in a better way. For me I would appreciate if my husband was honest with me, because it would drive me crazy wondering why he’s acting different towards me... I wouldn’t want him telling me like that though.

    Do you think because he’s not attracted to you anymore that he may not love you the same?
    edited February 14
  • vanityy99vanityy99 Member Posts: 1,639 Member Member Posts: 1,639 Member
    I would find a way to leave that relationship. He sounds like a real douche bag. So you were ok enough to marry and get pregnant. So he waits until after you've had a kid with him before breaking the news he doesn't find you attractive? That's real nice of him. What a way to make someone feel good about themselves. That is really savage in my opinion. If I had a child with my partner, went through all the changes that it does to a woman's body and then he said 'dont find you attractive anymore' I would be out that door quicker than you can say divorce papers.

    Probably started feeling like that after kids
  • Deadman_DiggingupDeadman_Diggingup Member Posts: 2,777 Member Member Posts: 2,777 Member
    That’s cold man... I’m sorry.
  • KirstinJo22KirstinJo22 Member Posts: 6 Member Member Posts: 6 Member
    I am so sorry. So here's a perspective that is probably not going to be loved by some and I am not at all okeying what he said, but here's my 2 cents anyways. My husband about 6 yrs ago began putting on weight. After a couple years it was over 100lbs. He was absolutely unhealthy, was not taking care of himself, and did not want to discuss it. This was hard. I was worried for his health, and that he soon would not be able to keep up with his family. Unfortunately this did not help in the attraction department, though I never directly said that, he could tell I was struggling. I loved him still with no intention of leaving. He has since shed 80lbs out of his own violation and feels 110% better. I don't know your husband's intention by what he said, but if you believe he loves you and is concerned for your health I hope you can work it out❤

    Thank you for this. I'm going to hope it's for health reasons..
  • KirstinJo22KirstinJo22 Member Posts: 6 Member Member Posts: 6 Member
    Hugs sweet friend🤗..... I just wanted to say that sometimes words are the cruelest weapon...and what he said seems very cold and heartless....but this could be many things even a blessing in disguise making you stronger💗 I cant offer advice because I'm certainly no expert and only you know your real issues. I can sympathize with you and offer a suggestion based on a similar situation and hope it helps in some small way because I know this is horrible for you.💔

    I was with a very cruel man for many years and was broken believing what he thought of me or what I did as truth. I beat myself up and tried to be what he wanted only to have him turn on the changes I made as well. Don't do what I did and believe him and internalize his issues and views.

    From looking at your picture I see a lovely woman making herself healthy....if you feel like you need to know, ask him where this came from....just so you understand it but remember it's a him problem not a you problem....there could be other reasons he said this so don't feel like it's your fault..most times its really very little to do with you.

    Concentrate on you and your child....love yourself and if you decide to try and work things out remember the only one who you should make changes for is you. I know it feels like the end of the world ...but it will get easier whatever you decide to do as long as you stay true to you.

    Again ...Im so very sorry you're dealing with this hun...please try to stay strong girl....like the others said this will come to pass just keep your head up pretty girl!🙏💗🤗

    Thank you so much for this ❤ it goes along with what I've been thinking for the past couple days and I've decided I'm going to do this for me, because I enjoyed it (being healthy) even before he and I were together. If it's not enough for him in the end then that's on him, not me. Thank you so much for the encouragement 💕
  • KirstinJo22KirstinJo22 Member Posts: 6 Member Member Posts: 6 Member
    vanityy99 wrote: »
    That’s brutal. I was watching a talk show, and they were saying that if there’s something bothering you in your marriage, it’s always best to be honest and talk to your partner about it. Like if you notice your eyes start wondering, tell your spouse because that could be an indication that something maybe wrong and the next step might be cheating- at least when youre honest right there and then you can fix it right away before it gets worse... or you have the option to leave. Or something along those lines.

    Your husband could’ve went about it in a better way. For me I would appreciate if my husband was honest with me, because it would drive me crazy wondering why he’s acting different towards me... I wouldn’t want him telling me like that though.

    Do you think because he’s not attracted to you anymore that he may not love you the same?

    Thankfully we've been really good about being open and honest and each time we have these types of conversations our communication gets better. I think he still loves me, at least I hope he does. But doesn't there have to be some attraction for love as well?
  • vanityy99vanityy99 Member Posts: 1,639 Member Member Posts: 1,639 Member
    vanityy99 wrote: »
    That’s brutal. I was watching a talk show, and they were saying that if there’s something bothering you in your marriage, it’s always best to be honest and talk to your partner about it. Like if you notice your eyes start wondering, tell your spouse because that could be an indication that something maybe wrong and the next step might be cheating- at least when youre honest right there and then you can fix it right away before it gets worse... or you have the option to leave. Or something along those lines.

    Your husband could’ve went about it in a better way. For me I would appreciate if my husband was honest with me, because it would drive me crazy wondering why he’s acting different towards me... I wouldn’t want him telling me like that though.

    Do you think because he’s not attracted to you anymore that he may not love you the same?

    Thankfully we've been really good about being open and honest and each time we have these types of conversations our communication gets better. I think he still loves me, at least I hope he does. But doesn't there have to be some attraction for love as well?

    Yeah but I don’t think people fall out of love that easily soley on physical attraction. He married you, I’m sure there’s other aspects about you that he’s attracted to. Idk it confuses me too... with my ex it was “ you look good but that’s it”, “ you got looks, but what else”.
  • tarun_yadavAtarun_yadavA Member Posts: 92 Member Member Posts: 92 Member
    I am so sorry. So here's a perspective that is probably not going to be loved by some and I am not at all okeying what he said, but here's my 2 cents anyways. My husband about 6 yrs ago began putting on weight. After a couple years it was over 100lbs. He was absolutely unhealthy, was not taking care of himself, and did not want to discuss it. This was hard. I was worried for his health, and that he soon would not be able to keep up with his family. Unfortunately this did not help in the attraction department, though I never directly said that, he could tell I was struggling. I loved him still with no intention of leaving. He has since shed 80lbs out of his own violation and feels 110% better. I don't know your husband's intention by what he said, but if you believe he loves you and is concerned for your health I hope you can work it out❤

    I agree with this. Quite similar/close to home... not necessarily malicious (and men do tend to be blunter/less diplomatic than women).

  • sdenness9925sdenness9925 Member Posts: 259 Member Member Posts: 259 Member
    What's on my mind? The fact that my husband said hes not attracted to me. I feel broken. I was pretty confident before getting married and having a baby but since then everything has been down hill and hearing that last night just ripped me in 2

    Thays such an awful thing to say and ti hear, i am so sorry to read this....... if you ever need to talk, i will always listen.... stay strong x
  • nooshi713nooshi713 Member Posts: 4,063 Member Member Posts: 4,063 Member
    I’m sorry. That is a horrible thing to hear from a partner.
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