Work acquaintance keeps commenting on my weight

dancenlose
dancenlose Posts: 21 Member
in Motivation and Support
So I commute by bus to work and one of my colleague who takes the same route has become chatty with me. He keeps saying things like "move fast or the cars will get damaged when they hit you".
This is incredibly rude and even unprofessional. I just ignore him usually, sometimes even get defensive (I'm not fat, I had a baby,etc.).
Now I've started regularly working out and whenever he sees me going to the gym, he says things like "you're never going to lose" and "you haven't lost at all". He's seriously pissing me off as my weight isn't any of his business.
I didn't want to snap at him because he would then know I'm sensitive about my weight, but today as I was talking a walk, he said it twice. I asked him to mind his own business. He claimed something like he's also minding his own business when I walked off.
Sorry long post, but what's the best way to handle this? I have no interest in being friends with him, but it's impossible to avoid him because of our shared bus route.
Any snarky comebacks welcome.
Thanks for reading.
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Replies

  • dancenlose
    dancenlose Posts: 21 Member
    Hmm, I can't because I travel with him that's when I interact with him. We don't work together in office, or I would probably have complained. Unfortunately we live in the same condo.
  • harper16
    harper16 Posts: 2,564 Member
    You should still have an HR department even if you don't work in an office. Is there a way you can travel with someone else, for work?

    If not tell him to go *snake* himself. He sounds like a piece of *cow*.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    dancenlose wrote: »
    Hmm, I can't because I travel with him that's when I interact with him. We don't work together in office, or I would probably have complained. Unfortunately we live in the same condo.

    When you say colleague, people assume you mean you work with this person. Obviously, if that's not the case then responses will be different.

    Maybe try a blank stare until it gets uncomfortable.
  • dancenlose
    dancenlose Posts: 21 Member
    Oh, didn't know that.
  • tcunbeliever
    tcunbeliever Posts: 8,219 Member
    PS - you can absolutely complain to HR about this since he is clearly targeting you outside of work on your commute in and/or possibly home, it still falls under their responsibility to talk to him about his behavior even if they may not be able to take specific action since it isn't occurring in the office.
  • sammidelvecchio
    sammidelvecchio Posts: 791 Member
    I'd just give it to him straight. I've done this before, and it makes them feel pretty stupid.

    Something like, Bro - don't you have your own *kitten* to worry about? If you don't have something nice to say - actually keep ALL your comments to yourself. I am working hard to meet my goals. Do you have any goals for yourself? Any positive goals that will enhance your quality of life? I hope you do, and I hope you take whatever energy you've been spending on putting me down and put it towards making yourself happy because you seem pretty *kitten* miserable to me. If you speak to me again outside of professional matters, I will report you to the police and HR for harassment. Now, for the last time - leave me alone.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,876 Member
    So I'm confused...is this actually a work colleague/acquaintance, or just somebody who has the same commuter bus as you and lives in your condo?
  • dancenlose
    dancenlose Posts: 21 Member
    Same office, same office bus, same condo but we work in different departments
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    dancenlose wrote: »
    Oh, didn't know that.

    If you use the quote button, it is easier to see who you are responding to. Is this guy working for the same company you do?
  • Chef_Barbell
    Chef_Barbell Posts: 6,646 Member
    cwolfman13 wrote: »
    So I'm confused...is this actually a work colleague/acquaintance, or just somebody who has the same commuter bus as you and lives in your condo?

    This 100%.... Because the answers would be different. If it's the latter, I would just tell him to go eff himself and wear headphones on my commute.
  • nutmegoreo
    nutmegoreo Posts: 15,532 Member
    dancenlose wrote: »
    Same office, same office bus, same condo but we work in different departments

    If you work for the same company, you can take it to HR. I would have a notebook with specific situations written down. Not your interpretations, just specifically what what said and when.
  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
    dancenlose wrote: »
    Same office, same office bus, same condo but we work in different departments

    I don't know about your company, but my company would absolutely take harassment seriously even if it was happening outside the office, probably especially if it was happening regularly on the way into work.

    In your situation, I would clearly say once "I'm not interested in talking to you. Please stop harassing me." I wouldn't engage any more after that and if he attempted to keep talking to me, I would just go to HR.

    I would also jot down the things he had already said, with approximate dates.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,876 Member
    dancenlose wrote: »
    Same office, same office bus, same condo but we work in different departments

    So yeah...working in different departments is irrelevant. HR isn't by department, HR is company wide to handle HR issues company wide.

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