Work acquaintance keeps commenting on my weight

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Replies

  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,324 Member
    sammidelvecchio wrote: »
    elisa123gal wrote: »
    okay, you are acting helpless and like you don't know what to do..but you do.
    If this person works for the same company you do. TAKE CONTROL DON"T play the VICTIM. First. you know you can report him to HR...so do that. Second he lives at your condo and that is going to suck because he can bully you there all day long. ..and that's what he is.. a bully.. and bullies don't change. The more they feel they're getting to you, the more they come at you. If you let him know he bothers you.. you just give him ammunition.

    I'd say to him "Oh great, the resident screwed up bully again. You are so boring - get some therapy and stop being so obsessed with me."

    The best advice I can give is get an earplug head set.. have it connected to your phone and listen to music when you're in the elevator at your condo and on the bus and totally ignore him even if he tries to talk to you are get your attention. .. Tune the jerk out.

    She literally is a victim of harassment. You can take control while still being the victim.

    I agree with you...she is a victim of this bully. I'm just trying to get her to not feel weak and powerless..because there are a few things she can do. I've been bullied before by a guy who lives in my condo. It is a horrible situation because you see them in your "home." ... I learned bullies never ever change and there is no slam or rational words you can say to diffuse or get rid of them. In fact interacting with them is the worst thing you can do. Avoidance and tuning them out is the best policy. When she has the earphones in and never look at him..he'll move on to another victim.
  • tinkerbellang83
    tinkerbellang83 Posts: 9,130 Member
    edited February 2020
    Before approaching HR, I'd suggest jotting down some of the comments and dates/times they were made.

    I'd also try having a word with him yourself if you feel up to it and keeping a record of that jotted down somewhere too.

    The first thing they will likely ask you is if you have examples, and it can sometimes be hard to think of them, exactly when put on the spot. They are also likely to ask if you've made any effort to talk to him about it, as almost all HR policies for grievances will ask if it can be dealt with informally first, before more formal steps are taken, if you can show that you've done that already, they may be more pro-active in dealing with it formally.

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