Feeling trapped in my own body
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Ally112020
Posts: 3 Member
I'm 32 yrs old and 300 lbs , I'm tired of feeling trapped, tired of hiding underneath layers, I'm tired of starting all over again, I've had enough of body shaming myself and feeling sorry for myself, today I joined this app. I could really use some motivation, encouragement, it is so easy to give up, I don't want to do that anymore. I just want to be happy and healthy.
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Replies
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I'm glad you're deciding to change! My best advice is to work on how you think of yourself as you lose and not focus just on weight loss or you'll be just as unhappy skinny. Start logging your food and make it a habit then cut back calories and eat in a way you can long-term. Make short-term goals. For example, I make a bullet journal for workouts and get to mark boxes off when I do them. I make my goals every Sunday for the week. Some people do rewards for boxes checked but I'm happy just seeing a bunch of check marks at the end of the week!3
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Welcome to mfp, you'll find lots of useful resources and helpful people on here.
I would really recommend our group for people who need to lose more than 75lbs, @NovusDies does the magic with the link.3 -
Hi,
Maybe you can use the feelings you have as motivation. You are trapped inside this body so free 'you' from it. See it like a challenge - a game. Really focus on healthy, nutritious foods and lots of other forms of self care, lots of non-food treats that reinforce the idea that you will look after yourself. Anything from a facial or manicure, pedicure, hair treatment, journalling, meditating, having a walk at sunset, having a herb tea in a favourite cafe, buying a good book etc. I'd give yourself a treat like that every single day that you stick to the new regime, to reinforce that you're not denying yourself, but taking care of yourself.
Try doing a home workout (I've just discovered Leslie Sansome's walking workout which is perfect for medically obese people - it's easily manageable. You walk 2 miles in 30 mins.) It makes me feel good to get back to some focused exercise, and there's no body shaming at home. Also Jessamyne does great Youtube yoga workouts for bigger bodies. I highly recommend her.5 -
Thank you so much2
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As you can tell, the community here are really supportive. Slow and steady wins the race. If you ever feel demotivated, just shout and people will respond.1
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Take heart. It can be done and you can do it. The weight loss process takes time. But it only takes one instant to change your mind. Starting now you can do away with starting over, quitting and failure. From now on there are only hurdles, obstacles and problems to solve. Weight loss is a skill set. It’s mostly about problem solving and persistence.
Start a food diary. Get a food scale and use it to crunch the numbers. Always log everything. Over your number? Wildly over? Log it all. Don’t know how many calories in that meal or dish? Make a good faith estimate and keep going. Forget? Go back and fill it in as best you can. And there’s a learning curve. Give it time. Calorie counting can be a pain at first but it get easier.
Make your food diary the center of your effort and you will never have to start over again. There will be times when you go over your number. Inadequate plans, lack of concentration, fatigue, bad decisions, misread menus and NI, math mistakes- lots of ways to make mistakes. But record them in your diary. Then work to not repeat them.
The good news is that calorie counting doesn’t have to be perfect to work. It just needs to be good enough.
Weight loss works on 2 tracks- losing weight and living with it. Most people go all in on losing and try to beat themselves into living with it. Usually doesn’t work out. A good plan is one we will actually follow. When you find your plan isn’t working at some point, work to make it better. No more just throwing up your hands and walking away. You’ll likely find that certain situations continually trip you up. Some things have to be avoided. Some endured. But in the long run you’ll find you can still succeed so long as you keep working.
Try to find a livable downward trend. Don’t concern yourself with how long it may take to get to goal. When the process is working, time can be on your side.
You can do this. You can have the life you want. Don’t settle for less. Good luck.10 -
Take heart. It can be done and you can do it. The weight loss process takes time. But it only takes one instant to change your mind. Starting now you can do away with starting over, quitting and failure. From now on there are only hurdles, obstacles and problems to solve. Weight loss is a skill set. It’s mostly about problem solving and persistence.
Start a food diary. Get a food scale and use it to crunch the numbers. Always log everything. Over your number? Wildly over? Log it all. Don’t know how many calories in that meal or dish? Make a good faith estimate and keep going. Forget? Go back and fill it in as best you can. And there’s a learning curve. Give it time. Calorie counting can be a pain at first but it get easier.
Make your food diary the center of your effort and you will never have to start over again. There will be times when you go over your number. Inadequate plans, lack of concentration, fatigue, bad decisions, misread menus and NI, math mistakes- lots of ways to make mistakes. But record them in your diary. Then work to not repeat them.
The good news is that calorie counting doesn’t have to be perfect to work. It just needs to be good enough.
Weight loss works on 2 tracks- losing weight and living with it. Most people go all in on losing and try to beat themselves into living with it. Usually doesn’t work out. A good plan is one we will actually follow. When you find your plan isn’t working at some point, work to make it better. No more just throwing up your hands and walking away. You’ll likely find that certain situations continually trip you up. Some things have to be avoided. Some endured. But in the long run you’ll find you can still succeed so long as you keep working.
Try to find a livable downward trend. Don’t concern yourself with how long it may take to get to goal. When the process is working, time can be on your side.
You can do this. You can have the life you want. Don’t settle for less. Good luck.
THIS^^^^ is the truth and will help you be successful. Something I'd suggest is taking your measurements and keeping a weekly journal. When the scale doesn't move, you can go back and see your progress on the tape measure. It will keep you going. Read the success posts on here. They can give you a lift when you need it. Good luck.2 -
Ally112020 wrote: »I'm 32 yrs old and 300 lbs , I'm tired of feeling trapped, tired of hiding underneath layers, I'm tired of starting all over again, I've had enough of body shaming myself and feeling sorry for myself, today I joined this app. I could really use some motivation, encouragement, it is so easy to give up, I don't want to do that anymore. I just want to be happy and healthy.
It is not easy to give up. That is just something we think when we fail to see what giving up is costing us. Living with excess weight makes everything harder. Simple everyday things that people at healthier weights take for granted gradually get more difficult with more weight or even the same weight on a body that keeps getting older.
That is why the expression (paraphrasing) "Losing weight is hard. Keeping the weight is hard. Choose your hard." Exists.
My own weight at one time created a prison for me. I wasn't just living a harder life. I was living a disabled life.
Now that I am mostly free of my fat prison I am actively trying to help others do the same. I have started a group for people that need to lose or originally needed to lose 75 or more pounds and wish to do it in a sensible and sustainable fashion. The only requirement is that you show @Jackie9003 how to do the link (kidding).
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/group/133315-larger-losers7 -
@NovusDies you do it so much better than I ever could
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Girl, keep your head up!
The body can feel like a prison. It feels like it can crumble on you or keep you trapped in any given breath. It feels so unstable, so choatic, so mysterious, and scary. It is so rarely what we want it to be, yet it is what it needs to be and those needs change as we address them.
The body, I have found for me, is more than just its organs and fats and skin and bones. It's an expression of what we need because it always adapts in order to keep us alive. Taken this way, I try to always find the joy of my body even when I want to claw the skin from my arms and cleeve out my stomach fat. The body will always try to be what it needs to be. So, we need to ask: why does my body need to be this way right now, and how can I bring my body into alignment with what I WANT. Where do want and need cross?
Be gentle to yourself! I have learned that if you are not gentle then there is no gentleness in your life. True, it takes practice and can be really hard to love yourself, to love your body which you don't understand, but you can build a relationship with it -- a loving one. What would be the first step toward that for you?1 -
Thank you all for your kind words, it truly inspired me to take the first step into the right direction, today I went for an hour walk, as much as I wanted to simply say I'll start tomorrow, I just did it, it has been months since I've exercised and today I allowed myself to accept the reality that If I don't make changes, things will always be the same, and for me "same" means pain, darkness, shame and hate.18
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Ally112020 wrote: »Thank you all for your kind words, it truly inspired me to take the first step into the right direction, today I went for an hour walk, as much as I wanted to simply say I'll start tomorrow, I just did it, it has been months since I've exercised and today I allowed myself to accept the reality that If I don't make changes, things will always be the same, and for me "same" means pain, darkness, shame and hate.
... and you did it -- the first steps on your journey! Congratulations for reaching out (Step 1) and walking for an hour (Step 2).
To stay motivated, I set mini-goals for myself. It could be "lose 5 pounds", or "don't eat that cake at work". When I reach my goals I do something (healthy) to celebrate. Maybe watch that movie I wanted, or get a message, or get a new shirt. Giving me something to look forward to helps get to the next goal/victory.
Also, remember that some victories are not on the scale (NSV). Sometimes we don't lose pounds but we still make progress, like losing inches. Me? I'm looking forward to being able to climb a flight of stairs without pausing or huffing and puffing at the top. Next is fitting into the next size down in clothing.
Best of luck to you.3 -
Welcome to the group. My advice, if you would permit me is to get the book "Can't hurt me"by David Goggins. It's a very motivating book. It's changed my life! Good luck and Godspeed!1
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I also recommend Chris Powell workout video bc it’s for more obese people easier on the joint if you have trouble moving around etc. great starter workout. He also has a book called choose more lose more. It’s the only diet I ever had success with bc and never needed to feel deprived. I wish you great success! Just remember it’s a journey and takes time to get to your final destination! Patience. Lots of patience and learning2
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I want to share this quote with you that I look at every day. 'Losing weight is hard. Being overweight is hard. Choose your hard.' Remember that doing a small thing is still doing a thing - so every day take a step or two that gets you closer to your goal - like your walk. When your motivation lags, read all the reasons you have for not giving up this time. You CAN do this - one day at a time.2
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You can do it! Take small, sustainable steps and build on them. It's hard to make big changes all at once and right now, even small changes will make big impacts on your health.
Your body isn't a prison, it's a vehicle in need of a tune up to really carry you where you want to go.
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A couple of things that help me:
Set incremental goals (I can’t take credit for coming up with this one). If your goal right out of the gate is to lose 100 pounds, it feels like you’ll never get there. Maybe your first goal is 5 or 10 pounds. Set several of those and celebrate them all. And also celebrating the NSVs, like your pants getting loose or someone noticing you’ve lost weight.
Another biggie for me is avoiding negative people. I share my weight loss journey only with those who are positive. You don’t need people criticizing what/how you’re doing things, and you don’t need those people who give you backhanded compliments (like “you’d be so pretty if you lost weight”) or the ones with morbid curiosity (such as “how much do you weigh?” or constantly asking how much you’ve lost.). I have friends who encourage me when I’m doing well, and don’t make me feel bad when I’m not doing so well. You can find lots of those people here.
If anyone is looking for a casual, encouraging MFP friend, send me a friend request. I’ve just restarted after a year away. I have some serious poundage to lose. I could use that extra positive motivation.
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Ally112020 wrote: »Thank you all for your kind words, it truly inspired me to take the first step into the right direction, today I went for an hour walk, as much as I wanted to simply say I'll start tomorrow, I just did it, it has been months since I've exercised and today I allowed myself to accept the reality that If I don't make changes, things will always be the same, and for me "same" means pain, darkness, shame and hate.
There you go. You are on your way. You will likely stumble and fall some but allow yourself to be imperfect and realize that you only need to be good enough to get to a healthier weight. One of the reasons I have managed to get as far as I have is because I quit quitting when I made mistakes. I still make them but I don't have to be perfect I just have to be good enough most of the time.2 -
Feel the same
Just always keep starting over but seeing u write this and reading all comments has already have me some motivation. And hope to keep at it this time
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