Calorie Counter

Message Boards General Health, Fitness and Diet
You are currently viewing the message boards in:

Well you looked fine before!

Jax2120Jax2120 Member Posts: 500 Member Member Posts: 500 Member
I’ve noticed this done constantly and I don’t really understand it. Someone shows a before and after pic and they are so proud of how far they have come and all their hard work. Most people congratulate them & are super positive. But a certain group of people will always go “I thought you looked fine before”. Why say that? It’s not helpful. I know most people (not everyone) means well by saying this. But please understand it can also be like a slap in the face. Someone who is working hard to get healthy and improve themselves in any way whether it’s physically, mentally, financially, education wise etc. should be encouraged. Not told “Well you looked fine before.” If someone told you they wanted to go to school to provide a better life for themselves would you tell them they are just fine where they are now too? Since when is progress a bad thing?

Replies

  • springlering62springlering62 Member Posts: 995 Member Member Posts: 995 Member
    Touché @AnnPT77 . I return the virtual hug and thank you for the inspiration in your own post.

  • bobsburgersfanbobsburgersfan Member Posts: 2,867 Member Member Posts: 2,867 Member
    I don't know your story - I'm guessing if you hear this a lot you weren't significantly overweight (or underweight), and that you truly did look good before! My guess is that a lot of the people who make this comment say it because they DON'T want to insult you - because they don't want their compliment to imply that you looked bad before. (Of course, I'm sure some of the comments are motivated by jealousy or other less positive things, and that's where you follow the great advice from AnnPT77.)

    That said, the response you suggested is the best. Just the compliment with no extra commentary!
  • Jax2120Jax2120 Member Posts: 500 Member Member Posts: 500 Member
    I don't know your story - I'm guessing if you hear this a lot you weren't significantly overweight (or underweight), and that you truly did look good before! My guess is that a lot of the people who make this comment say it because they DON'T want to insult you - because they don't want their compliment to imply that you looked bad before. (Of course, I'm sure some of the comments are motivated by jealousy or other less positive things, and that's where you follow the great advice from AnnPT77.)

    That said, the response you suggested is the best. Just the compliment with no extra commentary!

    Well here is my personal before and after. I think I was heavy, but not obese before.

    kim145brdd2g.jpeg

    But it’s not just me that gets these comments. I belong to a lot of fitness/weight loss groups and I see those types of comments often. But I agree with you 😊
  • springlering62springlering62 Member Posts: 995 Member Member Posts: 995 Member
    What are you talking about? You were drop dead gorgeous before! Keep those compliments and hug them close!
  • bobsburgersfanbobsburgersfan Member Posts: 2,867 Member Member Posts: 2,867 Member
    Dang, girl, that's impressive! Yes, you are beautiful in that before photo, but there's an obvious difference between then and now. I don't really know why people wouldn't just tell you how great you look.

    People say a lot of things, and probably for a lot of reasons. This is a fascinating/horrifying thread to read:
    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10735982/things-people-say-when-you-lose-weight
  • Mouse_PotatoMouse_Potato Member Posts: 1,268 Member Member Posts: 1,268 Member
    Talan79 wrote: »
    People say things without thinking.
    I’m 5”2, athletic build. I was 125 for the majority of my adult life but was able to diet down to 118.
    My moms friend of over 45 years who has known me since I was born told me “you didn’t need to lose weight but you look better now”.
    I was really upset after given my history of disordered eating behavior but I brushed it off.
    I’m short, so any weight loss people act as if I’ve lost 40 pounds vs 5-7. I just ignore it bc it’s always the case with being short and fluctuating.

    I'm 5'3" and at my highest weight I was 149. I lost 9 pounds and one woman said "wow! You've lost a TON of weight!" Ah, the joys of being short...!
  • Talan79Talan79 Member Posts: 661 Member Member Posts: 661 Member
    @Mouse_Potato I fee you lol. My hair dresser has cut my hair since I was 12. He always tells me “wow, look at you, you’ve kept the weight off”.
    Like really? I was never overweight lol.
  • SlowfasterSlowfaster Member Posts: 156 Member Member Posts: 156 Member
    I went up to about 140 in college and then later lost down to about 115 (I'm 5' 6".) I'll never forget my aunt and one other woman saying, "Thank goodness! You were this wide" -- while holding their hands about three feet apart. It's the thought that before I lost everyone was laughing at me and talking about how wide my hips were, that hurt. So that's why, forever after, when a friend would lose weight I would congratulate them on how good they looked, but be sure to tell them they always looked nice.

    Sorry, if it makes you feel like it undermines your hard work, but I'm afraid you were just cursed with a beautiful face and will never look really bad. Just do it for your health and don't show the before picture if you don't want comparisons.
  • IwillLOSE40kgIwillLOSE40kg Member Posts: 317 Member Member Posts: 317 Member
    Jax2120 wrote: »
    I’ve noticed this done constantly and I don’t really understand it. Someone shows a before and after pic and they are so proud of how far they have come and all their hard work. Most people congratulate them & are super positive. But a certain group of people will always go “I thought you looked fine before”. Why say that? It’s not helpful. I know most people (not everyone) means well by saying this. But please understand it can also be like a slap in the face. Someone who is working hard to get healthy and improve themselves in any way whether it’s physically, mentally, financially, education wise etc. should be encouraged. Not told “Well you looked fine before.” If someone told you they wanted to go to school to provide a better life for themselves would you tell them they are just fine where they are now too? Since when is progress a bad thing?

    I can second this.... I was halfway, lost 20kg which is about 40 pounds... People told me that I looked great and don't lose too much more or I'll be too skinny yet my doctor says I needed to lose more and she sent me to a specialist who gave no recognition of me losing 20kg myself and suggested I try saxenda injections to lose weight (looked into this just to be obedient and they're super expensive and cause cancer) ... Point being what you say to people either way ( you're fat or you're not fat) does affect people, that said I'm back at square one due to emotional eating as a result of this and other life stresses
Sign In or Register to comment.