OPENING UP 🐛 (over 100+ pounds to lose)

Opening up..

As I sit here thinking about the last 29 years of my life, I think about how much I wish I could go back and change the mistakes and opportunities I missed out on. I wish I can gain back the time I lost and do things the right way. I think about all the failed relationships, friendships and family relationships. I think about how many times I gave up on myself and just stood in a shell and tried to hide from the world thinking nobody would be able to tell I was depressed, sad, anxious and unhappy with life. I think about how many times I hated myself and told myself I could never do it. How many times I gave up on my life. How many times I let my family down. There are so many things in the last 29 years I wish I could take back and change. Unfortunately, in life we don’t get to change the past. We don’t get to take back the things we wished we could. We don’t get to take back all the bad things that we did or said to hurt someone. However, what we do get to do is face it. Accept the past. Let it go. And start a new chapter in life.

I know so much is going on in the world right now and people are suffering, even my family is suffering. But I feel that it’s so important to realize that no matter what is happening in life, you should never give up.

A few weeks ago I was looking at myself in the mirror and recognizing all of the poor choices I made and at that moment I decided to give up all my bad habits of overeating, smoking and being stuck in this dark unmotivated cycle. I decided to make a drastic change to my life. I decided enough was enough and chose to go to God for answers. I told God I didn’t want to die like this I didn’t want my life to be a sad story. I told God that I was sorry for everything I’ve done in the past and I wanted to be made new. I felt something so deep in my heart and it sounded like a voice that said, “you are forgiven, now get up, live your life and don’t look back, only look forward” After that I felt this overwhelming feeling. It is indescribable but I will try my hardest to explain. I felt that it was okay to be happy even right now at this moment even being the weight I am today, it was ok to still think I was beautiful and that I was worthy of this change. It was okay for me to be happy because I have a God that loves me even past all my mistakes, flaws and failures. I have a God that is willing to show me how to be better, but in order to see his miracles I must follow him this time, I must show up when it’s time to show up. So, with the past behind me. I am coming to you all to share my story. My hope is that one day I can help and inspire others who have gone through the same thing to NEVER GIVE UP and to keep striving to find that small light of fire inside and learn to ignite it so that it burns high!

This is me, Sarah Narvaez. I am 29 years old and weigh 336lbs. This is probably the hardest, most indescribably difficult post I will ever make in my life. My whole life I have struggled with my weight. Up until this past year my weight spiked up to the highest it’s ever been. I was diagnosed as pre-diabetic, I have sleep apnea, and on the road to having high blood pressure and heart disease and even death at a young age if things don’t change. (All of my doctors are concerned) As many of you know, having a large amount of weight on the body can cause many diseases and even cancer, knee and back issues, anxiety and depression. I am choosing to open up about my struggles with my weight because this is my way of accepting and acknowledging that this is real and something needs to change. With the grace of God I will be transforming into a healthier, happier and more present person. God gives us his grace when we come to him and ask for it. I believe this with all my heart. Here is my acceptance, I am accepting that I am at a point in my life that I cannot change the past. I have found the courage to accept that I am 336lbs and I am ready to embark on a journey of change to a healthier lifestyle. I know I am not perfect and I will make mistakes but I will not let these mistakes define me. I will get back up. I will push my limits because I will not go out without a fight. God has chosen this as my testimony to show how he works in people’s lives. I will beat obesity and give others the opportunity to see the change so that they themselves will want to change as well. I give all thanks to God and to those that will be supporting me throughout my journey. This is my truest test and I wanted to share it with the world.

If you finished reading this whole thing I just want to thank you! Xoxo

My daily prayer:
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.
-Serenity Prayer 🙏🏽💗