Reality Show - Big Sexy

alfredapittman
alfredapittman Posts: 256 Member
edited October 2 in Chit-Chat
While channel surfing I came across Big Sexy on TLC. These Plus Size women have confidence through the roof. One girl said that not all plus size women want to be skinny and that I do agree with because not everyone is meant to be super skinny. Now my question is why do you want to lose weight? If these women are comfortable in their skin and know they are beautiful without being skinny does that mean we are not as comfortable? I just wonder how many of us are losing weight to fit into society’s standard of beauty instead of owning the beauty we have without trying to lose weight.

I decided to lose weight so that could take the limitations off of my life. There have been people and places that I have avoided because of my weight and I don’t want to hold myself back anymore. Let me know what you guys think.
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Replies

  • jmmccall
    jmmccall Posts: 19
    I am wanting to lose for my health...I am borderline diabetic, I hurt all the time, my energy level sucks, and I want to be sure to be around for my kids and grandkids as long as I can. I am who I am, but I need to be sure I am happy with that person. I am not trying to please anybody else, least of all "society" and be super skinny....I just want to be healthy.
  • mcdonl
    mcdonl Posts: 342 Member
    Can men answer? I want to lose weight because I am getting older and I have always been between 225 and 250 since highschool... Never had too much of a psychological problem with it, but a little... the biggest point is my joints and muscles are tired of carying that weight around. Vanity is secondary, health is number one.

    If you have a diet that causes you to add fat to your body, it is also adding fat to your heart and it will eventually take a toll.

    The winning is the one who can be happy with themselves AND improve their health.
  • ChantalGG
    ChantalGG Posts: 2,404 Member
    I havnt watched the show yet but i f it is how i think where they party and just have fun all the time. Their lifestyles will catch up on them. I lost weight because i was feeling sick all the time because of my food choices.
  • melkadee
    melkadee Posts: 5,598 Member
    I think that we all have to ask ourselves what makes us happy. I have a desire to lose weight for my health. I also like the way I looked many many pounds ago. It all comes down to an individual choice.:happy:
  • faith12207
    faith12207 Posts: 31
    OMG!! I seen this last week and i was like WOW..
    Yeah those girls r awesome to have that much confidence but not me wish i could say that..
    They r actually beautiful women too..

    My reason is to build self- esteem and get off meds so health I should say and Biggest reason
    is for my baby whom i want to be healthy for.
  • Happy0326
    Happy0326 Posts: 159 Member
    I DON'T want to be supper skinny either....I do LOVE curves. But what the size I am now is OUT OF CONTROL for ME. I am losing weight to be HEALTHY & feel good about myself. For ME my weight is too much for my body frame & joints. The food that I've been feeding it with has been so UNHEALTHY.
  • Shaping_My_Destiny
    Shaping_My_Destiny Posts: 43
    Love the post! I've never been comfortable in this skin...being overweight! When I met the man I married, I was 150 lbs. I'd lost 20 lbs. when I met him. I was confident and he thought I was beautiful. When I left college, I started gaining weight. I might have been ok with it, except my husband became verbally and physically abusive. He constantly told me that I "used" to be beautiful and sexy. Suddenly all of the feelings I felt about myself from high school came rushing back. (You know, that all the skinny girls and cheerleaders got the boyfriends). That low self-image left me in despair and depression. Yes, I chose food to comfort me and doubled my weight to over 300lbs. And, I haven't seen Confident Cynthia in many years. Now, I'm on a mission to bring her back!
  • rharris86dc
    rharris86dc Posts: 635 Member
    I wanted to lose weight because I wasn't always a big girl, and I was never really meant to be. I'll never be waif-like or super skinny, but that's just the way my frame is. I knew I was being unhealthy, and I felt awful about myself, and that made me a huge downer to be around.
    So I guess the main reason was to be happy with myself, and healthy for my future.
  • JulieBoBoo
    JulieBoBoo Posts: 642
    I am very confident about my looks. I was before, I am now. I don't have any problem finding before photos because I never shied away from the camera. I dressed well and looked good.

    But I was also killing myself with food. I have diabetes, high blood pressure and suffered through a pulmonary embolism and mild cardiac event which resulted in my getting two stents put into my coronary arteries. I also couldn't keep up with my kids or my husband and had gotten to the point where even basic hygiene and sex were difficult.

    I lost weight to reclaim my LIFE.
  • Jarvis95
    Jarvis95 Posts: 157 Member
    Wow what a great issue! i often wonder about the balance between encouraging people to lose weight and encourage self-esteem at whatever weight!

    I totally agree with previous commenters, it comes down to health!! It makes me think about BMI...I know for my height i can range from 110 to 150 while being a healthy weight...that's a huge range!!! When I was picking my goal, I decided to aim for 21.5 (the average of 18-24.9 range of healthy BMI). I know I could aim for 110lbs, but that doesn't seem realistic! so i'll be healthy AND happy at my goal.

    So yea...I think self-esteem is super important, but I don't think you want to let that get in the way of being healthy...i.e i'm glad the women on that show are so confident, but i wonder if there's underlying health problems that could be approached by losing weight.
  • miadvh
    miadvh Posts: 290 Member
    Those ladies really do have a lot of confidence!
    My main reason (including health) for wanting to lose weight is my son. At 220 lbs., it's a little difficult to keep up with a 2 year old at all times. I feel badly that I'm not in near as many pictures with him as I'd like to be because of how I look. I want to be around for him for a long long time and I want him to be proud of me.
    2nd: I want cute clothes again! I have refused to buy myself anything cute because I don't like the way I look at them. I only recently bought myself jeans after going over a year with ONLY stretchy bottoms. I also LOVE highheels, but it doesn't feel so good walking around with all this weight on them.
    3rd: My partner is so amazing and hard-working. I think he deserves to come home to a sexy wife! :wink: He's never said anything about my weight, (even though I'm 50 lbs. heavier than I was when we first got together) but I'm willing to bet he'd appreciate being able to cuddle up to a woman with an awesome bod! :tongue:
    4th: I have a big problem with anxiety and depression. I believe that once I'm more comfortable in my own skin, both of those issues won't be quite the problems they are now.
    Edit: It would fit in with health, but Diabetes and high blood pressure run in my family and those are 2 things I could definitely live without!
  • loubulou2209
    loubulou2209 Posts: 62
    I want to lose weight for my health mainly. I have family history of heart disease on both sides and have severe asthma, so the extra weight is doing me no good at all.

    I also feel I've lost a lot of confidence since I put on weight. I have never been a skinny girl but I was quite a reasonable size until I met my partner a few years ago and have managed to put on around 5 stone in 2 1/2 years which is ridiculous!
  • nani726
    nani726 Posts: 70 Member
    I saw the show too and to be honest, i didnt think they were as super confident as they claimed to be, i think that in a way they have accepted the reality they are not willing to change thus embracing the lifestyle.
    There is absolutely nothing good about being obese and it bugs me that they're unapologetic about indulgence. One of them said: "i want to eat a whole chicken" or something like that. One thing is to be confident of yourself and hoping that society as a whole accepts you for who you are, not based on looks.
    But for those confused girls who are trying to find themselves in this world, telling them that is ok to give in to excess to me, is wrong. Just like it is wrong to promote barfing to be model skinny.

    I'm not morbidly obese but im not happy with the way i look or feel either. That's why im trying my hardest. I believe im looking for a happy middle of the road. This life is about choices. Mine is, to be healthy, to not shorten my life with diabetes, heart disease and such.
  • Choclat_Pearl
    Choclat_Pearl Posts: 166 Member
    I saw that show...ran across it the same way.

    I can't say that I knock it...I am all for plus size women being confident and secure

    I even tried it, I tried to embrace my weight ...but, I couldn't do it.

    Being plus size for me...someone who had never been...was additional health problems, depression, trouble breathing, moving slower, starting an emotional eating pattern, and low-self-esteem. CAN'T DO IT- ITS NOT ME.

    So while they Jiggle...I work to get little.
  • Lstrhi
    Lstrhi Posts: 132
    I love the confidence those women show, if that's how they want to live and they are happy then more power to them.

    As for me? I am not at all happy being the big girl with the great personality and pretty face (i don't buy that either, it's just what people say) I will be honest, a big part of my wanting to be slender has to do with the way people are treated when they are not. I was skinny for a while due to anorexia/bulimia and know first hand the difference in how people are treated (especially women) in both situations. I know being in better shape won't magically cure all my problems, but i want to feel attractive, not fat or invisible.
  • teasdino
    teasdino Posts: 228 Member
    Good question.
    I kinda hate the word skinny. I never want to be skinny. I was skinny one time in my life. I caught mono at 21. It really tore me up. The doc did not figure it out until I was on the edge of hepatitis, I ended up weighing 114 at the end. I gained some back pretty quick, so I went up to 125. Yes..I honestly did look like a walking pile of bones. But it took me a long time to recover. I would walk outside to the car and feel completely exhausted. Meanwhile i had friends who had not seen me in a long time telling me they were wishing to be ill. I never want to feel like that again.
    I want to be fit and healthy. I don't want to be over weight. It's more than just how I look, although yes that does come into play. But more important to me is that I want to live a life free of meds and all the assorted problems that do come with being unhealthy. I want to be active and do crazy things as I get older...lol. I don't want to have to worry about my blood sugar because I chose to eat bad foods and not be fit. The amount of people projected to develop diabetes because of their lifestyle is staggering!
    I am glad theses girls have self esteem. I dont want think most people need to be skinny. What I want is for them to be healthy. And down the road these girls are setting themselves up for allot of health issues.
    And there you have my feelings...lol. Good health to you all :-)
    Jac
  • mssweetjay
    mssweetjay Posts: 142
    I am looking forward to watching the show myself!! I'm losing my weight for my health first, my appearance second. I have tried so many times in my life and I am determine to meet my goal!!! I have been over weight for many years and I have seen relatives died including my mother with health issues including their weight and I'm determine to make a change!! There is so much more I want to do in years to come. I am young in spirit and have been told that I don't look my age so I want to feel younger like my free spirit attitude!!!! I love to dance and have a good ole time and I need the energy to do that!!!! God did bless me with this body, soul and mind and its up to me to take care of it the best way I can!!!!! My motto " WINE FINE OPERATION " DOING ME IS THE KEY.
  • TheShelterCat
    TheShelterCat Posts: 160
    I saw the show too and to be honest, i didnt think they were as super confident as they claimed to be, i think that in a way they have accepted the reality they are not willing to change thus embracing the lifestyle.
    There is absolutely nothing good about being obese and it bugs me that they're unapologetic about indulgence. One of them said: "i want to eat a whole chicken" or something like that. One thing is to be confident of yourself and hoping that society as a whole accepts you for who you are, not based on looks.
    But for those confused girls who are trying to find themselves in this world, telling them that is ok to give in to excess to me, is wrong. Just like it is wrong to promote barfing to be model skinny.

    I'm not morbidly obese but im not happy with the way i look or feel either. That's why im trying my hardest. I believe im looking for a happy middle of the road. This life is about choices. Mine is, to be healthy, to not shorten my life with diabetes, heart disease and such.

    I'm probably going to get a lot of grief for it, but I agree with this. While it's great to have self confidence, I dont agree with condoning an unhealthy lifestyle regardless of whether or not the person is over or under weight. Every woman should embrace their curves but I still dont agree with embracing obesity and saying its ok to be unhealthy because you still feel sexy.

    I personally wanted to lose weight because I wasnt comfortable in my own skin anymore. I was also really unhealthy with a lot of bad eating habits. I still struggle with a few bad habits but overall feel better and am on my way to a much healthier person. After starting to eat properly and exercise, I've realized that being healthy overall and being able to challenege my body to do things I didnt know I could is more important to me than how many pounds I actually lose in the long run.
  • DawnWendalynn1973
    DawnWendalynn1973 Posts: 97 Member
    Love the post! I've never been comfortable in this skin...being overweight! When I met the man I married, I was 150 lbs. I'd lost 20 lbs. when I met him. I was confident and he thought I was beautiful. When I left college, I started gaining weight. I might have been ok with it, except my husband became verbally and physically abusive. He constantly told me that I "used" to be beautiful and sexy. Suddenly all of the feelings I felt about myself from high school came rushing back. (You know, that all the skinny girls and cheerleaders got the boyfriends). That low self-image left me in despair and depression. Yes, I chose food to comfort me and doubled my weight to over 300lbs. And, I haven't seen Confident Cynthia in many years. Now, I'm on a mission to bring her back!

    Health is #1 for me. But what is mentioned in this post above is a top runner too. I was so confident...life of the part out-going and full of life. Now I am just a shell of my former self and I want HER back.
  • Becca_007
    Becca_007 Posts: 596 Member
    bump
  • jamja
    jamja Posts: 190
    I think a shows that sends a message to young women that obesity as an acceptable lifestyle choice is harmful just I as I believe setting expectations that a thin model body type should be their goal. Either way it harms womens self image.
  • Redladystl
    Redladystl Posts: 351 Member
    I haven't seen that show, but to answer your question. I wan to lose weight for me. I look good and feel sexy the way I am, BUT high blood pressure, heart disease, fibroids, and diabeties run rampant in my family. Mind you, so far all the people in my family that are currently diabetic are rail thin and always have been. My brother was just diagnosed with it and he has never been fat, and has been active military going on 23 years now. I know my chances are double being overweight. I am sick of shopping in Avenue and Lane Bryant trying to make them ugly clothes look good. But heck, where else is the big girl to go? Plus size clothes are expensive. Movement is limited, and high heeled shoes are almost impossible. Weight makes a big difference in high heeled shoes, and I own a closet full. I don't think my confidence will change withthe weight, but I know my activity level will. Oh and, ever try to sit in the middle seat on the plane? UGH!!!
  • Kaycurrier
    Kaycurrier Posts: 231
    I saw the show too and to be honest, i didnt think they were as super confident as they claimed to be, i think that in a way they have accepted the reality they are not willing to change thus embracing the lifestyle.
    There is absolutely nothing good about being obese and it bugs me that they're unapologetic about indulgence. One of them said: "i want to eat a whole chicken" or something like that. One thing is to be confident of yourself and hoping that society as a whole accepts you for who you are, not based on looks.
    But for those confused girls who are trying to find themselves in this world, telling them that is ok to give in to excess to me, is wrong. Just like it is wrong to promote barfing to be model skinny.

    I'm not morbidly obese but im not happy with the way i look or feel either. That's why im trying my hardest. I believe im looking for a happy middle of the road. This life is about choices. Mine is, to be healthy, to not shorten my life with diabetes, heart disease and such.

    I'm probably going to get a lot of grief for it, but I agree with this. While it's great to have self confidence, I dont agree with condoning an unhealthy lifestyle regardless of whether or not the person is over or under weight. Every woman should embrace their curves but I still dont agree with embracing obesity and saying its ok to be unhealthy because you still feel sexy.

    I personally wanted to lose weight because I wasnt comfortable in my own skin anymore. I was also really unhealthy with a lot of bad eating habits. I still struggle with a few bad habits but overall feel better and am on my way to a much healthier person. After starting to eat properly and exercise, I've realized that being healthy overall and being able to challenege my body to do things I didnt know I could is more important to me than how many pounds I actually lose in the long run.


    I agree with both these posts, I think anyone of anysize can be beautuful and confident, but promoting being overweight is worng. Just like shows about promoting teen pregnancy is wrong. I feel that they really do not have the confidence that we do becuase if they did, they would be confident that they could make a healthy lifestyle change. They are really just like terminal patients that have cone to terms that they are dying . . . they 'live it up" because they don't care about consequences.
  • ajbeans
    ajbeans Posts: 2,857 Member
    If I looked good at a larger size, I probably wouldn't be trying to lose weight. But I don't. I'm sloppy-looking when I'm carrying extra poundage -- I don't know if it's because my skin isn't firm, or what, but any extra fat on me is just floppy and not attractive. I've seen some really gorgeous bigger women and actually envy their bodies, but I wouldn't look like that if I were the same size.
  • mscoco10
    mscoco10 Posts: 527 Member
    I found this show today too; I have mixed feelings on it. I know that everybody won't be a 10 or 12 for the matter so i'm glad that they can embrace thier bodies. I disagree with the over eating and no self control. I also heard her say she could eat a whole chicken. I hope it was a joke. I hope to see more of this show because we do need to treat people with respect no matter what size they are.

    I personally want to lose weight because i'm unhappy with who i see. I've always loved me for who I am. With all this extra weight its makes it hard to live. I can't run without giving out of breathe, taking the stairs hurts my knees, and i hate paying more for clothing because i'm larger.

    Skinny is not even close to my radar but i want to be healthy and appreciate the person i see when i walk by a mirror or window.

    People will always talk about you no matter what so i could careless what others think.

    I did see some post that said this show sets a bad example but there are a lot of shows that set a bad example only difference is all these cast members are overweight and on real world, bad girls club, real housewives, etc they are thin.
  • mscoco10
    mscoco10 Posts: 527 Member
    I haven't seen that show, but to answer your question. I wan to lose weight for me. I look good and feel sexy the way I am, BUT high blood pressure, heart disease, fibroids, and diabeties run rampant in my family. Mind you, so far all the people in my family that are currently diabetic are rail thin and always have been. My brother was just diagnosed with it and he has never been fat, and has been active military going on 23 years now. I know my chances are double being overweight. I am sick of shopping in Avenue and Lane Bryant trying to make them ugly clothes look good. But heck, where else is the big girl to go? Plus size clothes are expensive. Movement is limited, and high heeled shoes are almost impossible. Weight makes a big difference in high heeled shoes, and I own a closet full. I don't think my confidence will change withthe weight, but I know my activity level will. Oh and, ever try to sit in the middle seat on the plane? UGH!!!

    I love the comment about Lane Bryant; I feel they are making bigger women look old and horrible. The tent dresses make me gag. I 'm also a shoe fanatic so cheer to wearing more heels. I'll be so glad to shop at New York & Company again.
  • raven5131
    raven5131 Posts: 50
    I sae the show and saw in those women the same insecurities I have. I did not think they were confident at all but trying to be ok with it.

    I am blessed to be one of those people that carries my weight well. When I tell people how much I weigh they ask where am I putting it. But I know. I see.

    I have been riddled in the last few years with all of the health problems that come with obesity. High Blood Pressure, Diabetes, high cholesterol. Right now I am just on the brink of all of these. I want to be in normal range for all of these.

    On the other hand, I have been single for many years. Part of the problem is in my head. I do not feel desireable. I think I am inside but not on the outside. When I was young I had a wonderful body. No really I did. I want to feel as desireable as I did. then. I want to be my very best when I meet someone. I don't want to have that fear of rejection because of my weight, to be an issue.
  • mrspenton2009
    mrspenton2009 Posts: 84 Member
    Mrs Pittman,

    I have heard about the show but never had the chance to actually see an episode. I am currently the largest that I have ever been (Size 22/24). Before having my children I was a size 16/18. I want to lose weight because I am not happy with the way I look in all of my favorite clothes. I don't like the fact that I have to wear a girdle with all of my outfits to somewhat be okay with my body. Now don't get me wrong, anyone who knows me can attest for the fact that I am extremely comfortable in my own skin and I love me....but I want to return back to the healthier fitter me.
  • Lstrhi
    Lstrhi Posts: 132
    since everyone was talking about how this show is demonstrating that being obese is okay when in fact it's extremely unhealthy (which i agree, btw), i wanted to point out that the nichole richeys and runway models of the world aren't healthy goals either. if i had a chance to snap my fingers and make all the actresses and models a healthy size 5-7, i really would. i think a lot of young women never get the chance to feel beautiful in their skin just because they aren't a size zero.
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
    I always wonder if these women are truly comfortable in their skin.

    I am one who will not be scrutinized about my body by the media. I will not try to look like Kim K just because that's all I see all over the magazines and such. So on that, I see the point of being comfortable in MY skin. I am tall, I have hips, I have small/medium boobs, not much of a booty, but I <3 my legs. Within those elements, I will be comfortable but when you're hauling around an extra 40-100lbs (or more) there is NOTHING comfortable about it. You cannot keep up during certain activities. You are threatened each time you go for a check up because of cholesterol, blood pressure, glucose levels etc. You sometimes have a hard time fitting in rollercoaster seats, airplane seats, go carts, etc.
    What is comfortable about that?

    I fear that these women might think that they will never change because they're can't... but we all know that's not the truth. We can change. You just have to want it bad enough.
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