We broke up because...
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She turned me in to the authorities.0
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Told me to respect her authority, then smacked me with a donut. Still have sprinkles in my hair0
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Chewed through the chain, and ran away.0
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Had an invisible fence up. I thought I was getting away. Woke up right back in chains1
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Wanted me to call him Alice0
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Did appreciate how I kept him safe. So ungrateful.0
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They kept fighting over me. I AM NOT A PIECE OF MEAT.0
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Because they aren't a piece of meat and I am HUNGRY0
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He ate all my groceries... Again.0
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Never listens to me! I told her I would repay her for the groceries!0
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Doesnt understand that massages don't actually count as monetary repayment!0
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Because my massages are AMAZING and that was never good enough0
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Because he learned to massage from his pretty yoga instructor ex girlfriend...1
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Because she was always dogging me about my ex girlfriends0
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Not sure they were all still considered ex’s.1
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Couldn't decide on a wedding theme. I want a summer theme!0
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And my black and white motif lends well to winter. Sorry love, not meant to be.0
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Wanted our entire house to be black & white! I could have lived with that...but making me change my red lipstick to black was asking too much!
💋 Adios!!0 -
Refused to sign anything except to place a red kiss mark on it. Birthday cards to mom, credit card purchases, our mortgage!! 😳0
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Tried to get me to sign a contract giving her full ownership over me.0
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